I'm Having a Problem

I am sort of with the other moms on this but also not. I have never done home care for more than two or three kids at a time so don't really know much on the home care side. I agree that you should talk to your day care provider and see what happens. But I have also worked in a day care and I had two very violent boys in my classroom. Luckily these boys didn't usually target other kids but they did target the teachers. I lost three good co-teachers while working with that particular group of kids. Despite repeated talks with the director of the daycare and the boys' parents nothing seemed to help. I also eventually had to quit when I found out I was pregnant and had these boys continually trying to punch and kick me in the stomach. So, my suggestion is to try to talk to your provider and give it a week or two, whichever you think is better, before you look for a new day care. Then if you don't feel better with the situation get your little girl in a place you feel comfortable with.

As a provider this is one of the most frustrating problems a person could have. Sometimes, I feel if I got rid of every problem child I wouldn't have any left! I mean they all go through stages. Some hit, some push, some come up with really bad language, some spit right on other kids and the bad behaviors come and go without warning. Sometimes kids are destructive and cost us a lot more to keep than the average child. And yet, we are only able to influence change so much and so fast. She could send the other child away and end up taking one that's much worse. You could leave this daycare and end up in one with a much worse problem.

You should talk with her and let her know how you are feeling and that you are hoping for solutions. You might find she is already considering letting him go and your feelings would give her a push. I would certainly want to know if one of my parents was having these thoughts. It's really difficult to make the decision to let a child go. It does damage a small child to end up feeling judged by people.

Suzi

I'm a home day carer,you really need to talk to her and the parents and see what the out come is but if the carer doesn't do anything to help your child then she is not doing her job correctly,i no there can be issues with children but if its sorted straight away then everyone should be happy especially your child.If she does nothing then she will end up with no kids apart from the bully.Good luck.

It's definitely a conversation to have with the provider. I'm sure she already knows that the parents' attitude is not positive. Ultimatums are hard to give, and even harder to reinforce but you have to make a choice. It is difficult to leave a comfortable daycare situation where your child is, for the most part, happy. If one of the other kids is making it difficult for her (and you) maybe moving on is the best thing. I've been through the situation myself and know it's NOT an easy decision to make.

I think you need to get the provider involve in this situation. It is possible that he is acting this way to other kids too and you just don't see it. Maybe if the provider gets both of his parents together and lets them know that she is having issues in general and not just with your child, they will get a clue that something isn't right. I would let her know that you would like to keep your child there but if things don't improve soon, you will have no other choice but to be looking elsewhere.