If You've Had a Miscarriage

Updated on October 15, 2012
C.A. asks from Winchester, VA
15 answers

So here I am again, Ole' Debbie Downer. I will keep it light. I was 'browsing' through my SPAM (why is it always in Caps?) email-because that is exactly what I should be doing (only not). Any how so I am sitting here cruising through real quick before I have to go do my nightly (cleaning) meandering around the house trying not to stress eat. So I see A. email from Your Pregnancy This Week that says week 31, you have 9 weeks to go! *head desk*
When will it go away? After I was supposed to deliver?
I must add: I know the miscarriage was I don't know best? The last thing I need is another with my situation but it still stings.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thanks you everyone for your encouraging words. I really must learn to use better spelling and grammar in my posts but normally I am in such a hurry. I think I just threw that email into the spam department after I miscarried because it was easier than unsubscribing at the time.
HUgs to all the women that have miscarried and have angel babies. I actually feel bad about posting this there are so many women out there with terminally ill children and children that have gone missing. so I know it could be worse....

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answers from Phoenix on


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answers from Charleston on

Unsubscribe asap, and more importantly let yourself grieve and not feel bad about it. My last miscarriage was in 2006, and I still think about it and the first one when the months roll around when those babies should've been born. I'm not going to lie, it will be something that stays with you forever, but the pain will lessen over time and it becomes less prevalent in your life. Sending you hugs, and just remember that you have a lot of people on here that know exactly what you're going through so don't feel alone. ((hug hug hug))

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I am so sorry for your loss. :(

I think you are talking about the spam email reminders. Sorry to say that it will pop up until around January. You are on their radar now. There will be more emails. There will be coupons for diapers and formula in the mail. You may even receive a box of Enfamil or Similac with formula and coupons.

There will also be the friends that you told before hand, that you haven't seen yet.There will be coworkers of your SO that he hasn't told, that will see you in the store or shoveling snow and will bring it up.

My response to them 'Well, sadly that didn't end up as we planned. Thank you so much for caring.'

Does it get better? Yes. Does it take time? Yes.


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answers from Dallas on

I'm sorry for your loss C.. I've had 2 miscarriages as well. First like the other girls have said, unsubscribe ASAP so you're not getting the emails and just allow yourself to grieve. I had my first miscarriage in 2001 and a second in 2004. I still wonder on occassion what my life would be like, but at least I can talk about it now without crying. I did get a bracelet made with the birthstones of my two I lost and my only living child. Hang in sister, it does get better over time. (((HUGS)))

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answers from Victoria on

It doesn't go away because it happened, time will help take the edge off the grief you feel, but 7 years later, it still creeps up on me. All I can say is let yourself accept the grief and then you can begin to heal and while it never goes away, it is bearable. i can now talk about it most of the time without crying and it is cathartic to cry and let it out. it is emotion after all and that makes us human. It is ok to embrace your humanity.

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answers from Charlotte on

I don't know what to tell you, C., except that you experienced a loss. No amount of knowing that you and your husband don't need to be having more babies can make a miscarriage less difficult or painful.

I do hope that you are taking precautions from getting pregnant again. The relationship you have with your husband is not conducive for having another baby, and you know that. Just focus on dealing with the relationship, getting the schooling you wanted so that you can do a job that will eventually dovetail with what you have so much of A. interest in, and use birth control. It's not only best for you, but for your children too.


4 moms found this helpful


answers from Albuquerque on

I had three losses in 2010. You'll always wonder, even if it's just for a moment. I remember getting one of those e-mails saying something like "your baby is 14 months now..." so then I started thinking about what it would be like if I actually had a baby that was 14 months. Then I unsubscribed.

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answers from Los Angeles on

yes it does. I shared a close due date this Oct. with a friend and next week I'm brining her and her family a meal post baby yet i have not yet succeeded in getting pregnant again. She posted beautiful post labor pics of her and her baby on FB. Ohhh, it stung. My pervious miscarriage before that one was supposed to be due on my sisters b-day. I could have almost erased the date from my memory banks as I was pregnant and anticipating a new due date. but when my sisters birthday came it was surprisingly difficult.

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answers from Las Vegas on

Can you "Unsubscribe"?

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answers from Washington DC on

i'm sorry. i'm glad i didn't have any reminder emails to bring up the pain for me. it was hard enough as it was.
'being for the best' is no help at all, is it? don't try to make it your saving grace in this sad situation where mourning is appropriate. part of my grief over my miscarriage was BECAUSE i was so ambivalent about getting pregnant in my 40s. we didn't plan it and considered terminating it. but only briefly. we were both working ourselves around to being excited about our surprise, when it ended.
let yourself mourn.

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answers from Des Moines on

Time, lots and lots of time....

And even then, even though your heart will be healed and your soul will be at peace there will STILL be pangs of regret for what could have been...

My last miscarriage (I've had 3) was in 1998, and I still think of what could have been every now and then-- usually when I see a little red headed boy full of mischief (my ex was a red head and I wanted a boy)

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answers from Washington DC on

Go to those sites and delete the membership or just block the emails from your inbox. I'm sorry they are bothering you. I know it hurts. Hugs.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Sioux City on

I have been there. What you are feeling is normal. Keep in mind this may happen from time to time. My little ones would be six this year. I still have a day hear and there.

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answers from Minneapolis on

Yes you can unsubscribe from these emails. Once you subscribe they send it every week , until you mention that you miscarried or delivered. In case of miscarriage, I would just unsubscribe.
I am really sorry for your loss. :(

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answers from Richmond on

I lost my daughter just shy of 24 weeks and the emails, mailings, calls, reminders were awful. We had JUST registered at a baby store, JUST bought baby bedding, JUST started the nursery and JUST signed up for birthing classes. So I got to return the bedding, un-register for class and sell the crib/changing table I had just bought. But I still got emails/calls/mailings about my baby registry and, clearly, they sold my name because I started getting all kinds of coupons, samples and literature for formula, diapers, parenting magazines, etc. It was awful. Each one would put me in tears - tears that I felt I had to hide. I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I KNOW how awful it is.

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