If I Killed Him

Updated on May 09, 2012
J.S. asks from Green Cove Springs, FL
25 answers

...the courts would probably give me a free pass. Today, so far, I have....
1. Picked up the entire house
2. Vacuumed
3. Washed, dried, folded, and put away three loads of laundry.
4. Gotten the dishes done and put away
5. Took my daughter for a walk to feed the ducks, then explained why we don't chase them
6. Did an hour of school time with my daughter. Shapes, sounds, and gender difference (this is to dissuade her from holler, HEY BOY at everyone, whether they are a boy or not)
7. Made a marinade for the steaks for dinner
8. Brushed the dog
9. Got the child down for a nap. (though she still isn't sleeping)
10. Cleaned up a poop mess when she didn't quite make it all the way to the potty.
11. Gotten us both fed.

I think that's about it. So, after I made myself some homemade Lemonade my phone rings. It's my BIL. Apparently he is bored at work and wanted to talk, so he calls me because, "I figured you weren't doing anything." May I please hunt that man down?

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Don't worry, he is safe half way across the country....that is until Christmas time....
Dad, I totally agree. I'm sure stay at home dads get the same comments. I wonder though, do you ever get them from women? I haven't yet, but maybe that's because all of the women I know are mom's! ;)

Featured Answers

C.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

***Pssssttt****

J.-

I have this friend named Guido in jersey...

He travels...

Private me...

LOL
michele/cat

10 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

***throws red flag at RRuby****

ahem, I too receive those type of communications. :)

ETA - yep, from my lovely wife - ALL of the inlaws (both men and women) and pretty much anyone who hears i'm a WAHD. I tell them i do exactly what a SAHM does all day, eat bon-bons and watch tv! :)

5 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

I pretty much get asked this a lot by people. "What DO you do all day." I think they expect me to tell them I sleep in, watch TV, relax all day.

Sigh.

4 moms found this helpful

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M.G.

answers from Kansas City on

My husband worked for a large cell phone company until very recently. I very frequently asked him to propose a feature that would allow me to Zap the person on the other end of the line if they needed it!!!

I think it's a great idea, it would make millions!

M

6 moms found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Bloomington on

I think that comment needs to be put on the list of things not to say about SAHP's, along with:

"She has a husband that takes care of her and the kids." I heard that at the hair salon last Saturday, and it's still bothering me.

I give you the blessing to "take him out." :)

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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

All I can say is ------ MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes they just don't get it.

5 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I had to set down my glass of champagne and bowl of assorted bon bons to write my reply. :D

Why does it matter if your BIL thinks you do nothing all day? Your husband doesn't feel that way, does he?

Next time you hear, "I figured you weren't doing anything." You can say, "I wouldn't call drinking champagne and eating bon bons nothing."

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hunt away!
(Need some back up? lol)

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K.L.

answers from Des Moines on

Oh man...this was a great post! Did you at least hang up on your BIL? Too funny! Thanks for the laugh...this SAHM needed one!

3 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Just not being paid the $7k per month we'd have to pay people to do what I do, plus overtime, and illegal work environment since I don't get the state mandated breaks.

2 moms found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Thanks for the giggle. My husband once made the mistake of telling me , "could you at least take the trash out when it's full?" Hmmmm, really? I'll get right on it. I wrote him a detailed list of what my day entailed with three kids under 5. At the end of the list I wrote "and if I have some free time (lucky me!) I will be sure to empty that trash can you mentioned!" Yes, he got the message. By the way I love love love that your daughter calls everyone Hey Boy! That cracks me up!

2 moms found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

well technically at that exact moment he was right=)
ugh your post made M. realize all i have to do tonight=( i want to go to the movies or take a nap after work not all of that booooo to chores

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E.E.

answers from Denver on

Ha ha! At least it wasn't your spouse.

You *may* not hunt him down. But my husband is a stay-at-home Dad and he usually takes care of #11 on your list. And sometimes 2. So...you *may* come over and provide on-the-job training.

Pretty please????????????????????????????????????????????!

Thanks for the laugh!

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Haha. Sorry that made me laugh.

Seriously though, that's all you've done today? KIDDING!

You rock! You got a TON done.

Now sit down & relax for awhile

You deserve it.

Mom is a psuedonym for Hero/Rockstar/Brilliant Manager of All That Matters/Director of high foot traffic in home/Juggler/Entertainer/CEO of the household etc! :)

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

As my sister says: "Men! You can't live with them & you can't cut 'em up in little pieces & tell people they're on a business trip!"

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

Sounds like you and your husbands brother have a good relationship and he thinks of you as a sister. I would call him back and say, I marinated a steak for you, come on over because I would like your help with clean up after dinner. Then make a list of the stuff you do when folks figure your not doing anything. Here's what my list would look like:

Set the table
Make the kids their afternoon snack
Help the kids with their homework
Take the cloths out of the dryer, fold and put away
Make the side dishes for dinner
Feed the dog
Have a glass of wine while keeping who ever is doing the BBQ
Sit down to dinner
Feed the baby
Clear the table
Wash the dishes or load the diswasher
Clean the items that don't fit in the diswasher
Squeeze in another glass of wine while cleaning the kitchen
Sweep the floor
Bathe the kids and get them in the jams
Give the kids their last potty run and drink of water
Tell them a story
Walk the dog

What time is it before I get to sleep and start another "not doing anything day"?

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R.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Haha thanks for the laugh. Monday, I was productive like you. But today I feel extremely lazy looking at your list. I suppose I should get my a$$ off the computer and go bust out some chores ;)

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Oooo!
That's the time to launch into a blow by blow description of cleaning up the poop.
Anytime a man thinks you do nothing or wants details of what you do, make sure you describe in lurid detail about the grossest biological functions you can think of and MOST men will never make that same mistake twice.
I guess it might work for some women too, but then there are some women who will go on and on about their hemorrhoids and hot flashes all day long and never have an ounce of shame about it.

2 moms found this helpful

J.H.

answers from San Antonio on

Oh my goodness, I have a sister who freaks out when I don't drop everything and spend hours chatting on the phone with her. Hubby bought me a blue tooth so that I can continue to do my housework and not catch hell from my sis.

I have since started telling her that if she has issues with me doing school work, house work or anything else then quit calling me when I'm doing it. She asked when that would be...I told her when I went to bed around 9pm. The first time she called in the middle of the night and I didn't answer (sent her straight to voicemail) she threw a fit. You just can't win, lol!

Like others have said, if you need an alibi, I'm here! ;)

1 mom found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Lucky for me everyone KNOWS my son and has called when they "Thought I was not doing anything" only to hear his shrills or screams! So now, they text first and if I can I call them to talk. The one who might say that is my fiance, but it is mostly in jest and some days I do just that - absolutely nothing (my Peggy Bundy days)!

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I think he must never have been a stay at home parent. You really do have to do it to understand how busy it is. Otherwise the percetption is you're at home all day. Now I did it, so I'm certainly not saying that's what you do at all...that job was much harder than my job now.

But for those that don't know any better...well, I guess ignorance is bliss!

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K.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Yeah. Take him down.

1 mom found this helpful

A.R.

answers from Houston on

His employer would surely thank you since he's goofing off at the office. :)

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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

I'll vouch for you! :)

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T.F.

answers from San Francisco on

OH! I get that from my SILs so maybe it's an inlaw thing ;-). It's "Oh, since you don't work and aren't doing anything, can you....." YEAH RIGHT! I also run a business from home, but it's from home so doesn't count.

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