If I Am Court Order to Change My Daughter's Last Name, Do I Have To?

Updated on July 24, 2017
C.G. asks from Grand Prairie, TX
17 answers

My daughter has my grandfather last name since birth, cause her father wasn't there and denied her. So i gave her my grandfather last name. Since then the father of my child decided to gv her his last name through child support. I was told since he is the father and wants her to have his last name i have to change especially cause it's going to be court order. I them i wasnt going to do it and if wanted to he change it and pay for it. Since then he hasn't sent in court paper work to change her last name, till this day she has my grandfather last name. Now that he is married and all his wife is pushing him to have my daughter's last name change to his. She throws at me its court order and that i have to.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

What does your attorney say?

5 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Your post is very confusing, does he have a court order or not. Paying child support doesn't by proxy change anyone's name. The process is actually quite long and more complicated than it needs to be. So I guess no, you don't have to?

4 moms found this helpful
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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If he takes you to court to change it then the judge will decide. IF they judge says yes then you will legally be obligated to change it.

On the other hand her last name is technically the same as your name at the time of her birth. You can call her what you want though. Legally her name should be what the court decides it is.

Just because the dad is paying child support it doesn't mean you have to do anything, her name is her name until a court/judge says otherwise.

3 moms found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from New York on

A "court order" is something that you should be able to see in writing, in court records. Otherwise, your ex's wife is just using those words to sound important.

Either get a lawyer or just go to court yourself, to the clerk's office of whichever courthouse you and your ex use, and find out whether a court order really exists.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

If it is court ordered then it has to be done or you may be in violation of said court order, if you want to fight the court order you may need to consult with a lawyer. Does the court order specify who must pay for it?

2 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

A lawyer would be your best source of information.
You have a say in this too.
Maybe hyphenate the fathers name with your grandfathers name.
As long as it's in there some where - the court order has been followed.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It sounds to me like you have not actually seen court order paperwork. The next time she says it's a court order, tell her you want to see the actual court order, and you want to know at what courthouse it is filed so that you can verify it's validity. You can also read it to see if it says that you need to file and pay for it, or if he does.

Once you know for sure if there is a court order or not, then I suggest you have a meeting with a lawyer to find out what your options are.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.G.

answers from Fort Myers on

How old is your daughter? Sounds like you are going to have a mess on your hands if the exs new wife won't mind her own business. You've raised your daughter by yourself since day one. Talk to your lawyer. I'd hate to see you having to share custody over your child just because the new wife wants it. If your daughters father wanted to be part of her life, he would have done so already. Good luck with it all.

2 moms found this helpful

T.D.

answers from Springfield on

get a lawyer to handle this legal matter. you should be able to fight it and not do it even if her dad tries. but only a lawyer can advise you on what you are legally allowed to do

1 mom found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

You need a lawyer. Do you really think a bunch of moms who aren't lawyers can give you an answer that you can trust?

Are you getting child support? I can't tell from your post that you are. If you aren't, then THAT'S what you should be working on. The name has nothing to do with getting the child support.

I wouldn't be talking to his wife if I were you. This is between you and your ex. And honestly, you should have the lawyer deal with him.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.6.

answers from New York on

Usually a court order directs WHO has to do something. If your ex is supposed to take care of it, then it is on him (but you have to provide reasonable assistance and records to facilitate the process - you cannot hinder him in any way). If you were supposed to do the paperwork, then you better get it done.

Speak with a lawyer if the court order discussing the name change responsibility isn't clear. Just because you decided to give your child a different last name, that doesn't make it ok - whether or not the father was/is involved, so I wouldn't be surprised if the court doesn't order you to pay for it/take care of it. My guess is you would qualify for a fee waiver anyways . . .

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Wait to see the court order. And get a lawyer.

And stop talking to his wife - she has no say in this. Zero.

You can talk to your child's bio father or not (you can have his lawyer talk to to your lawyer if you want). But I'd be surprised if a name change is a condition for child support. Your ex has no say over what your daughter's last name is. It's not a "fee" you have to pay him in order to get child support! Name and child support are 2 separate things. I have no idea why you told him he could do it and pay for it if you don't really want it done.

Is there a special reason she has your grandfather's name and not yours? Do you have a reason for holding on to that name? Is she of a certain age and it would be hard for her to deal with a new name? Not that it's entirely relevant to the issue at hand, but it's a question you should answer for yourself.

I think you really need an advocate in your corner. It really sounds like you're being manipulated by your ex and his wife, and you don't have any background on what your rights are.

1 mom found this helpful

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

C.,

Your post is incredibly hard to read.

If you have a court order to do something, you must comply with the court order or be held in contempt of court.

Change her LAST name. Follow the court order.

Since you don't say how old she is, if she's school age, you will have to ensure her school records are changed as well.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.A.

answers from Columbus on

If it's a court order, you have to follow it. If you fail to do so you can be held in contempt of court.

But what you're saying is that it's not yet a court order. If her father wants her name changed, then he can proceed with the court order, and he can pay to change it.

I'm a bit confused when you say that has your grandfather's last name. Is that the same as your last name? Or is it different? I'm just curious about why you chose to give her a last name that is different than your last name or even the last name of your parents. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with doing so, I've just never heard of someone doing that.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Who told you that if the father wants a child's name changed that you have to do it? Your ex's new wife? Ignore her and don't talk to her. Legal business regarding your child has nothing to do with her.

If you haven't received a summons or notice of hearing regarding the name change, or an actual order, then you can pretty well assume that there is no order in place. Again: ignore this woman.

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S.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

If there was a court order, you would know about it. If you don't have the papers, there is no order, and you have no responsibility to do it. If I understand your post correctly, it is just your ex and his wife saying there is an order. The court would notify you if there was an order.

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N.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

If there is a court order then you need to follow the court order. If you're served with something and you're told it's a court order, but you can't tell if it's actually a court order then speak to an attorney or ask the court clerk if it's actually a court order.

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