Ideas for My Daughter's Out of Town 1St Birthday - 12/31 - Delmar,NY

You have a lot to consider. My son's b/day is 12/27 and we decided to have his actual birthday with family and kept it very simple. As he got older in school we did a 1/2 year Birthday party in the summer.
Worked out great, family at holiday time and friends in the summer. He loved it,it was like having 2 birthdays. He did not feel like he was forgotten about. I loved it because I could have all his friends outside and minimize the house destruction. I always kept it simple.
Good luck and Best Wishes

Hi L.,
It is so stressful around the holidays, especially whey you aren't home. I think you should go simple...make or buy a cute cake (I bought decorations and my husband made the cake and copied the decoration packaging- adorable!), have matching plates, napkins, cups,-like a real kids party- and invite your family. All this from the grocery store won't be over $50.
The first birthday is SO MUCH Fun for you and your husband, plus the family. You are CELEBRATING your babycake (or whatever you call her)!

For my son's first birthday in April, he had THREE parties: One in Baton Rouge at my MIL's with family and cake(early April), one in Oregon with my parents where he had a Winnie the Pooh cake(late April), and one at our house (early May) with appetizers, cake and neighborhood friends. He got a couple of cute small toys and outfits- not a big deal. It is just fun for people to watch a baby eat cake!

First, catch your breath. I think your mind is going a
mile a minute. I would definitely have a celebration of
some sort one evening between Christmas and NewYears.

You can make it cake and coffee. You can make it
appetizers and cake and coffee. People usually eat so
much at Christmas I really do not think they would
mind just snacks and cake. I would invite your closest
friends and leave it at that. If they offer to bring
something, let them. There are lots of inexpensive
appetizers you could make. Don't fret over things,
have your party and it will work out. I am sure
everyone will be happy just to spend some time with you.
Good luck.

Your mom is right. She won't remember this. 1st Birthday Parties are more for us moms. I'd make a cake for the get together at your Aunts house Celebrate with the family that is there. Don't worry about gifts. But also make a little cake just for her to stick her hand in and get all messy with and take lots of pictures. That's what its really all about anyway, right?

The only thing your daughter will remember of her first birthday in years to come is the images of whatever pictures you take. She will not feel like she missed out on ANYTHING if you have no party at all for her. If you want to use her birthday as an excuse to see old friends, that is fine, and there is nothing wrong with you celebrating her birth.

For her the day will be as meaningful whether it is just you and your husband; or you, your parents and grandparents; or if you have a big party with friends. Once she is about 3, it will become far more important to have some kind of party that is for her benefit and separate from Christmas. Right now, you don't need anything more than a birthday cake and a candle. The people you choose to celebrate with will be completely for your benefit not hers.

For future celebrations (ones she will remember), my family always did extended family parties either during the closest holiday or in the month with the most birthdays. We had the "September birthdays", another cluster at Thanksgiving for those in Nov and early Dec, the "March birthdays" - usually at Easter (and a lot of times these would include my mom who's bday is end of Feb, AND my Aunt who's bday is end of Jan - granted, they're adults), and then another cluster in June.

We did celebrate with immediate family on the actual birthday, and we scheduled the "kids party" for the closest weekend that fit into our schedule.

Don't do anything that will add stress to your life! (or your family's) So long as you have a couple of pictures of your daughter opening a present and smearing icing or ice cream all over her face, you will have created a precious moment for her. Whatever party you have will be for you and your family's benefit - and really will be more important for your family's memories than those of your friends. Your friends will come because they love you and of course want to honor your daughter's birthday, but in the long run, family is what counts. You can still squeeze in visits with close friends, and skip the whole big party extravaganza.

SOunds like you have a lot going on. True the baby wont remember much but thats what photos are for. Suggestions, keep it small, immediate maybe some extended family. Your friends will understand. Our party was on Valentine's Day where people have already made plans but it turned out great. Not sure if they have them where you are going but dollar stores are great for cheap decorations, paper plates and such. For my daughters first birthday I got a cake for everyone else, she didnt care. I suggest cupcakes. You dont need "equipment" to make them and it will be more than enough cake for those great frosting face pictures you will want to get. The most important thing for us was to have the pictures of her with family on her 1st birthday ever. Plus the left overs from the holidays will be useful in planning the meal. We did a big baked pasta, munchies and salad. Hope this helps. Good Luck.

Keep it simple, especially around the holidays. Your daughter will have more birthdays. You will meet more friends as she gets older and she is more involved in activities. You can have birthday parties with a Christmas or New Year's theme, but right now she is too little for that. It is not worth the stress.

It sounds like you are really stressing yourself out over this decision. I say HAVE THE PARTY!!! This is your first childs 1st birthday! Its a big one! Yes there will be expense, yes there will be work involved but its what we do as mommies for our babies! We had over 120 people at my sons 1st bday party and spent close to 2 grand and no he wont remember it but I always will! I went all out but you dont have to! See if your mother will allow a big party there, offer to have a cleaning service come in the next day to clean up and put those vacuum lines back in the rugs..if not, how about renting a local hall, like at an elks club or fire hall or something. You can get some helium balloons and nice tablecloths for tables to spruce the place up. Even bring some of your own (or your moms) poinsettas leftover from christmas for decoration. If your good friends are still good friends, im sure they wouldnt mind helping you out by maybe making a big tray of ziti or a big salad...it doenst have to be fancy...but you SHOULD DO IT!!!! I think you may regret it down the road! good luck

Mom is right, your daughter will not know the difference at this age....and taking on a birthday party in her house around holiday time will infact be very h*** o* your Mom. Your daughter will be getting a great deal of happy attention from her grandparents and it will be a special time for her.

Explain to your friends that a birthday party will in fact be stressful and h*** o* your family as your visit is so short...but asked them if it's possible to make arrangements to get together for a breakfast or lunch in a restaurant you can all afford. Just you and your friends,...tell them No kids, no gifts... It's not a party, just quality time spent together. If agreed, make sure Mom knows about it as you'll be leaving your daughter with her for that time...

Shop early for your holiday gifts and U.P.S. them to your parents home. Wrapped them, adding the "to" and "from" card to ID them but add the bows and ribbins to them when you get there so they don't get flattened in the shipping. You can also U.P.S. lots of other things as well that you might need so you can travel as light as possible...and do the same for the trip home, making sure it arrives a day or two after you get home. Just let your Mom know a package is arriving for you and they are not to open it.

In terms of making local friends, check out your local "Y" for activities with children your daughters age. Check out your local community center for the same and you can also meet people at church socials as well. It will be good for your daughter to have pay days and socialize with other children of the same age...and while that is going on you can extend a hand in friendship to their moms.

Anyway, have a safe trip and enjoy the holidays...

My husband's family lives out of state. We attempt to visit around a holiday. We have chosen a place and thrown a party for my kids to see all the relatives, prevent us from spending each day from travel some more from house to house. We have rented space in a park, got my husband's cousin to offer his house. I suggest you think of your guests's average age and price some halls ( VFW, Knights,even some county park have halls, restaurants - children's muesums, etc... Ask your friends, they may know of some great places.
You can always do food on the cheep: hot dogs, veg. plates, soups, salad, We usually go with a grocery store. Around the holidays they have platters. Yes we shop for everything there, the day of or the day before in a chain party store.
I've done gift certificates from fast food chains as a favor.
Since we have done the kids birthdays, we requested gifts that didn't take up space, books and DVD, or gift cards. Everyone seemed to understand.
You have to do what is right for you. We didn't learn this until after our visits became a week of getting into a car and going from house to house. We were coming home exhausted. Then we started throwing a party, for whatever was the closest holiday. It has worked out great. we see everyone at least once and everyone enjoys themselves. My husbands family even started doing pot lucks for us.
Have fun - Happy Birthday.
S.
P.S Make cupcakes - no napkins, forks, or plates, add a candle to each child's to blow out - parents need to help with this one.

It is at such a crazy time of year why not do something small and peaceful. The baby does not care and wtih the holidays and all going on why make yourself and or anyone else crazy trying to do it. I have never had huge blow outs for my kids birthday and I have not once be sorry and they have never once complained. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

L., you're stressing way too much over this. Your daughter is only 1 - she knows nothing about birthday parties. As you observed, this is a busy, stressful, and expensive time of year. My advice would be to have a happy, peaceful birthday celebration with your family, make an adorable cake, and take lots of pictures to remember the day. I have experienced traveling on holidays, as well as having my out-of-town children come home for visits. Believe me - your visit will be much happier if you focus on family. The most important thing is family, and when you start using the limited time you have back home with trying to reconnect with friends it makes for hurt feelings and stress, and that will negatively affect your visit. It's unfair to expect your parents to host a party that includes your friends and their children, especially in the middle of holiday events. Everyone is already exhausted on a good day! (And another thing to think about....would you enjoy hosting a party of all your parents' friends if they came to visit you at your home? During the holidays???) Throw in Christmas and New Years, and you have a recipe for disaster. And in the end, your little girl will sense the tension and become upset and irritable. Just the fact that she's away from her familiar surroundings may be enough to throw her off, and if she becomes out of sorts, no one will have a good time. You have time enough in your daughter's years to give her birthday parties - ones that she will look forward to and enjoy. When parents throw huge parties for their youngest children, it's definately not about the kids - they don't know the difference. I've been to niece's and nephew's parties with loooots of kids, and they are sheer chaos. Trust me - you will not have a good time. My birthday is Dec 31, too, and have wonderful memories of birthday parties my mom threw for me in January after the rush. It was something to look forward to, and to me it seemed like i celebrated twice - once on the 31st with my family, and again with my school friends in January!! Enjoy your daughter's magical 1st Christmas with your family, and save the big birthday parties for when she is older and can understand the meaning of it all.

Hi L.,

I know your mom says you shouldn't do something for your baby's first birthday. It is true that she will not remember, but you will!! And when she is older, looking at old photographs, she will be looking for pics of her 1st birthday. This is something that you should do, definitely!

Now, the hard part is to make it work for everyone. What about a small get together on Saturday or Sunday after Christmas? Or even 2 small parties, one with family, one with friends?

Or, you can do what I do, with family only, for my son's birthday - he was born on Thanksgiving day, so that's when we celebrate. After our big dinner, we have birthday cake, then do presents. My family is not that big, just my parents and my kids (4), and a family friend that shows up. Talk to your parents, see if that is ok. Family will already be there, they just have to share some cake for your daughter. And birthdays dont have to be celebrated exactly on the day.

I know money is tight, but there are cheap/quick ways to feed everyone. Meatballs in barbecue sause, chicken with sauce, chicken wings, in tin pans with oil burners and salads. (We did this for my daughter's graduation party - she made 2 different chicken dishes, one was hot wing dip.) Is it possible to make a cake or two at your parents house? It is less to carry with you. And, dont forget any leftovers you can get your hands on; like pumpking pie, turkey or any other meat, you can make sandwiches out of.

Is there a friend who will let you use their house, or a community hall/grange hall/fire hall where you can hold a small party, so you dont have to have all of them at your parents?

Invite who you want, which from what I read will be alot of people, if times are as hard for everyone, or if they feel jilted because you cannot attend their functions, some may not show up at all. But, if they are true friends, they will show. (There is only so much you can from your long distance, do not feel badly about it)

I know it will be busy for you, since it is so close to a big holiday and alot of work, but it will be worth it for your daughter and your own peace of mind - you are not letting her big day go unnoticed because of it being so close to the holidays.

As for presents, I don't think you should put not to bring presents, some may feel badly about it. Just put that their presence would be much appreciated and leave it at that.

Good luck

L..
I too have a holiday birthday boy, he'll be two this year and I was torn about what to do. You can look into a community house, Elks Club, library et al where you can rent a room (100 fee) and then just have friends over with kids for cake and sing happy birthday. That's what it is all about! You can buy a cake at Costco for 14 dollars. The intent is to celebrate, not stress. Then you can have all your family, friends and like to see you and meet your daughter. Keep it low key and you would be amazed at how much better you will feel once you don't worry about it!

Hi L.!
First, take a deep breath...or maybe two! Don't stress yourself over this! It should be something to enjoy! Only you can decide what kind of celebration you would like to have for your baby girls 1st Birthday. Do YOU really want to have a party or do you just think you should? Listen to what your heart tells you. Then decide if it is worth the extra effort needed. You can have a party for her and it does not have to be a big bash! Since you will be spending time with her family for the holiday, you could have a small gathering of friends you were/are closest with.Maybe on Sat. afternoon? They should not mind attending if they are your friends.(Esp. if they only get to see you ever other year or so!) You could just do cake, no need to have a big spread. Keeping it simple will take away the stress too. You could ask guests to bring an ornament for the baby in lue of presents. That would be something special to mark the occasion and she will have them when she grows up. I love my ornament collection from when I was a child. I think it would be okay to say...Please help us celebrate "babys name" First Birthday with an ornament for her tree. That way no one has to spend a lot. The people who really want to bring a gift also, will anyway!
I hope you enjoy your holiday AND your baby's birthday! It only happens once...1st birthday! :)

Would any of the other party goers be willing to provide their space to host the party and you take care of the rest?

Keep it simple. Do word of mouth or Evites for the invitations.

Party food and supplies: plates, forks, spoons, cake, ice cream.
Party decorations: 10 ballons, one roll of streamers, napkins, table cloth.
Give away gifts: Get some wallet sized pictures of baby with "thank you" written on the back in some small frames to give away as thank you's to your guests. For the children give a piece of fruit or bag of fruit.

Take lots of pictures of her with those she loves and doing the eating/wearing of the cake.

No she will not remember but she will love to look at the pictures and hear the stories for a lifetime. The children in my family now tell the stories of their parties as they show pictures to their friends.

It is such a joy to watch. Capturing memories and milestones is precious. I would also advise you keep it simple. If you intend on having more children, you don't want to run the risk of having them feel like they have been short changed when it comes to their first birthday.
If you can narrow it down to what is the main thing and keep that main thing the focus all will be well and you will be less stressed. Enjoy and be blessed.

Can you maybe drop the idea of the "birthday party" and do an open house on New Years Day in the afternoon either at your parent's house or at a different relative/friend's house? When I say open house you can simply tell friends and family that you are in town and would love for them to drop by to see you, your husband, and your daughter--that way you don't have to worry about asking them for gifts...Make some appetizers and drinks available. Then just do cake with your parents after the open house is over in the evening to celebrate your daughter's birthday.

HI L.!

My husband and I also live away from family (4 years now) and have a daughter turning one Nov 14. We are planning to travel to Florida the week of her birthday and are throwing her a late afternoon party...We dont get down there that often and think it would make for an easy way to see friends. She may not remember it...but it will be fun to show off our little girl!! While some may think its not that big of a deal I think it marks a milestone! The first year goes by so fast...take time look back on all the ups and downs and give yourself a pat on the back for you and your baby's accomplishments its not easy being a stay at home mom...especially if your working from home! Congrats on completing your first year!

P.S. - If you ever need some fresh air or a playdate let me know!!

I would do something to celebrate! My husband's birthday is right after Christmas too and he still appreciates the fact that his mom ALWAYS had a party for him and his twin that had nothing to do with the holidays. You happily survived the first year and should do something to celebrate!

My parents live in FL and have gotten into the habit of having an open house when we are home for a visit. This is great b/c it's low stress and can be short and inexpensive. Plus, we get to see everyone without trucking all over the place while on "vacation".

Here's what I would do:
- Ask a friend if you could host an open house style party at their home. If your best friend lives in town, call her and explain.
- Have it early in the afternoon on the 27th 2-5. That way you can serve snacks and soda/beer/wine and not worry about a meal. You can buy plenty of frozen apps, chips/dip, platters the day before and just put them out. Don't forget a cake!
- Buy paper good the day after Christmas- they will be festive and much less expensive!
- If people offer to bring something, say YES!

Invite your family as guests and I am sure that they will be happy to attend. You're right, your mom may not want a big party after doing Christmas, but this isn't about her. It's about your little one and you are the mama now! You make the decisions and stick to it-

Hi L., I agree with your mother. She won't know the difference and with all the stress of traveling during the holiday season and all the other reasons you've already mentioned, why add even more stress to yourself?

I have a friend whose one daughter's birthday is the week before Christmas and the other one is in the summer (when everyone is out of school and vacationing) so she throws them each a separate party in the Spring. It makes her life much easier and the kids don't care because they get gifts from their parents and other family on their actual birthday and more gifts and a party to celebrate with their friends when everyone can attend.

Make YOUR life easier. Just enjoy the holidays with your family and if you still want to throw your daughter a party do it when it's convenient for you. Invite all the out-of-towners, maybe some will show up or at least send a card and/or present for her to read/open. And invite your neighbors, kids from school/playgroups/church....what a great way for you and your daughter to make new friends.

Best of luck in whatever you decide.

To L.-- I know how you feel as I lived away from all of our family. However I think your daughter will not suffer if you don't have a big party for her first birthday. It would mean more to you if you and your husband did just a quiet one when you . all get back home. Perhaps the grandparents could send gifts back with you and then open them when you have a celebration. My best friend growing up was born the day after Xmas and her family always did a big celebration in July for her. She always thought she was bery special. Mu daughter was born Dec 8th and felt cheated at times because Xmas was coming and we couldn't afford a lot for both times. Later she understood but it was very hard for us parents as we wanted to make both days special for the kids.I hope you enjoy her special day whenever you have it. They grow so fast. I am now a gradmother and love every minute I have with the kids.

I just wanted to let you know that from an outsider's perspective, it sounds as though you've already made up your mind... you definitely seem to be leaning toward not having it. I would say that I agree with that choice. It sounds like a lot to do in such a short period of time, and it would probably end up being more stressful for you than enjoyable. At your daughter's young age, she would rather have a happy mommy than anything else! When you go back for her third birthday, a party (whether at home or at a place that you pay for) will be much less overwhelming and a lot more fun for her. Good luck with your decision!

why don't you just have a late afternoon cookie & ice cream get together. Explain that it's your child's 1st birthday.. put no gifts please.. just come celebrate with a small get together. this way if people can't afford to buy a gift.. they won't and if they want to they will.. and it's only a small get together.. so it will be fun.. maybe make it only 1 1/2 hours... make hot cocoa.. if it's cold.. .. just have fun.. being with friends...

L.,
Your little girl is going to turn 1, she is really not going to enjoy much or remember much from it anyways. Since you are not at your own house for her birthday, how about if you just bake or buy her a nice cake of one of the characters she likes, and enjoy it at your mom's with your family? Take pictures galour so she can see when she gets older how special it was at grandma's house. Try to just enjoy the time with her and with your family. Her 2nd birthday will be more special because she will be more alert and know something is happenning :)
If you are going back home again for the holidays you can send the inviations to your friends and family ahead of time. By next year you will have more time to plan ahead and either rent a hall or do it at a children's place, like Funtime America, Chuck E Cheese, Little Scoops, etc. For now, I would suggest, you enjoy your blessing with the rest of the family and if any of your friends are available to come, so be it. But don't stress your mother with a big party, just enjoy your time together.

One of my daughters was born on 12/24 and a grandson's birthday is 12/27. It's hard planning anything around the holidays because people's schedules are packed with work, school, and social holiday events in addition to shopping, decorating, and cooking. Not a good time to plan a birthday party because no one can come.

We always waited until mid January to celebrate the December birthdays. We would have a small family party the day of the birthday (because everyone should feel special on their actual birthday) but the friends and family one would be in mid January. It worked out well because by that point everyone was free and looking for something to do.

I'd say to just do a small family party this time around. She isn't going to know or care about a big bash. In a couple years when she's older and in nursery school or regular school you can start doing bigger parties at your house after the holidays have passed.