Ideas for 3 Year Old to Say Goodbye to Daddy at Memorial Service

Updated on October 12, 2009
C.A. asks from Phoenix, AZ
8 answers

My best friend's husband died unexpectedly. The memorial will likely be outside. I thought about having her draw a picture for daddy and tying it to a balloon and letting it go to daddy in heaven. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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answers from Phoenix on

I just saw something where they gave the children butterflies, that they send off at the end of the service.

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answers from Albuquerque on

We did balloons for special events, birthdays, holidays and just because. As the kids got older we kind of let that tradition pass. We also went to our church and lit candles for daddy and put candles on the mantle for him. It's been 13 years for us, and we mostly only light a candle at church now. So it does get better over time. For the first few months we would go to the cemetery with flowers and sometimes actually ate lunch there so we could sit there with him and talk about some funny things he would have liked that we had done.

Of course not everything works for everyone and there is no wrong way to grieve, so be patient with them, they will need all your love and an ear on the days that are good as well as bad. One of the things I have found is people don't like talking about Ray, but I loved him to pieces, and it makes me feel good to remember the good things. So keep an open heart and an open ear when she needs it, it will help her tremendously.

I am sorry she is going through this, it is a long hard process. You may want to recommend a site called widownet to her. They are a group of people that have been there done that and are able to help each other through this strange new road.

One more thing, some of the hospice centers provide free counseling for children that have lost a parent.

Good luck, and be patient.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

So sorry for your loved ones. The picture and ballon release is a good idea for a child to better understand.



answers from Phoenix on

My heart goes out to the family, that is very sad. The note and picture is a great idea and that will help the daughter get out her feelings, but please do not release a balloon - it will eventually pop, fall into the environment and rubber takes many years to decompose and animals may find it, eat it and die. Thank you.



answers from Phoenix on

Your balloon idea is good, and it might be more helpful for her to understand the concept if everyone does that. Good Luck!!



answers from Phoenix on

I think the balloon is a wonderful idea. I would only add that perhaps mom could help her write a small note as well. "I love you" or some other sentiment.



answers from Phoenix on

I agree with steph c, one of my friends her mom passed away a year and half ago, she has 3 kids so they help the kids write a note on the balloons then let the balloons go up.



answers from Phoenix on

I think your idea is a wonderful idea. I also love the adding of a special note to the picture like just saying I Love You Daddy.

The butterfly idea is a good one too.... maybe ask the mother or even the child which idea she thinks daddy would love her to do so that he can see it from Heaven...

Losing a parent is never an easy thing. Heck for that matter losing a love one or dear friend is very hard.

The hardest thing for me was telling my kids when grandpa passed.

Many prayers of peace, comfort, hope and faith as well as love go out to this family.

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