Ideas/Advice/Resources For Three Year Old Boy Getting New Brother in August!

Hi. I remember the feelings i had before our second baby came home... so much worry about the older one and how to transition her... I didn't want everything to change yet the gift of a sibling is truly worth it all. My daughter was not quite three when we added our baby and overall it wasn't too bad --but there is definitely an adjustment. There are some cute books that help to create that excitement of being the big sibling. Just search thru amazon and you'll see a few on that topic.

Once the baby comes, it does help to have a gift for the big brother and always refer to the baby as "our baby". Just including them in everything makes them feel a part of the family. You will definitely need to carve out one on one time with the big brother and as someone already mentioned, the baby is not aware that they are getting shorted! I would say that you have to work hard to never show the true exhaustion or frustration when you have those moments... just because the 3 yr old is watching you and taking your cues of how to react to the baby.
Someone once told me it is really a 6 month period of acceptance and by then, they can't even remember what life was like without the baby.
Lastly, i think its important to acknowledge your son's feelings of jealousy and empathize that it is hard to get use to someone else and especially when mommy is so needed by the baby. We thought three was a great age to become a big sibling since three year olds start getting into friends and other activities more independently.
anyways, congrats and best of luck!

My children are 2 years, 3 months apart, a boy and a girl (in that order). I did what you've done, but the other thing you have to do is pay most of your attention to the older one when the baby comes. You take care of the baby's needs, of course, but the baby doesn't really notice that you're talking to the older one. If there isn't much difference in the time and attention you give your older son after the baby comes, he'll be fine. Make sure other relatives pay lots of attention to the oldest, too. With the difference in their ages, they should play together later, but there shouldn't be much competition. Congratulations!!

Hi L.:

First, congratulations on the new addition to your family.

I am the mother of 4 adult children, the first two having been 17 months apart! What helped our family was advising the older one(s) that they were going to be the big brother/sister and that it was thier job to help me. The baby was going to need some help and guidance and their job was to be friends and make sure the new baby was ok. Then include them in choices, i.e. Do you think your baby sister/brother will like this or this?

Don't forget to include them at the baby shower, as the older child is accustomed to all gifts comimg into the house being for them, it's important to bring a gift for the older child(ren)as well.

When the new baby is born, allow the older one to "hold" the new one, of course, while you hold on. The expression on their face and the transistion is amazing! While I was nursing the new baby, I would read a story to the older one(s) while they sat very close to me and I would put my arm around them. I also would make sure to spend some alone time with the older child while the new baby slept.

My daughter-in-law applied the same strategies for my granddaughters and the 5 year old now asks where her 2 year old sister is if we are doing something one-on-one. The 2 year old looks for her older sister when we're doing the same. It works!

Dear L.,

When my son was 3 and I was pregnant with #2, we went to the library and I found lots of books about new babies coming. There was a Little Critter book, Dora, Frances, Franklin, and others that I can't remember now (they are now 6 and 9). But reading those books over and over again helped him realize that other people go through the same thing. The books also show normal reactions so he (and you) know what to expect. I would go to the library or book store and get some books to read that are "just for big brothers and sisters."

Also, my kids were born at Beaumont and they had a class for sibs on becoming a big brother or sister. My son was the youngest one there, but just old enough to be in the class. That also really helped him understand how a baby would change the family, but in a good way. If your doctor or hospital offers this class, I would recommend it.

Best Wishes!
S.

Hi L., My children are also 3 years apart. (They're adults now with children of their own). I had no problem at all when I brought home the new baby. While I was pregnant, of course, we talked about her being a big sister constantly. The first thing we did when I got home from the hospital was put the baby in her arms. She was included in changing diapers, feeding, etc. She felt loved and very important in taking care of this new baby. And then there was just her time with us, which let her know she was still very much loved. I think things will go just find for you. Good luck with your new baby.

I bought two toys for my daughter right before our son was born. I wrapped the toys and packed one in my bag for the hospital. When our son was born, our daughter came to visit and I told her that her brother was so happy to have a big sister that he bought her a toy. She loved it and immediately kissed him and thanked him. Then when we brought the baby home I put the second toy in his crib. I did the same type of thing and she said she was happy that we now have 4 people living in our house. The transition for us was relatively easy, however, our daughter did not sleep well for about the first 2 months, sinc the baby was in our bedroom. She would wake up early and want to come in bed with us. This was just a phase, but it seemed to be a little bit of jealousy since the baby was with us. Just try to give as much attention to both kids as you can and things will be fine.