I Was MORTIFIED

Updated on February 20, 2009
E.G. asks from Canton, GA
14 answers

Okay folks,

Here's the latest from my crazy little family unit. My five-year old daughter is a nudist. She LOVES to take her clothes off around the house. And she thinks it's just the most natural, wonderful state in the world. Comfy, cozy, and just all-around awesome.

Well, she went to her little friend's birthday party last night. The kids were all either changing into their jammies or into TinkerBelle costumes. My daughter decides, however, that it's better to be naked than clothed, so she stripped down to her underpants and proceeded to parade around the party with all her classmates this way. I found out about this by one particularly candid little 5-year old guest who told me this when I went to pick my little girl up.

When I asked her why she did this, she said "well, kids were changing clothes". Needless to say, my husband and I were pretty p'd off.

Have any of you ever raised a budding nudist, and how do I deal with this?

Thanks,

E.

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T.W.

answers from Atlanta on

Honey it's just a stage..... What I had to do with my two (at same age different year) was to take them shopping and let them pick out their own "SPECIAL" outfits....... Good luck.

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R.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi E.!

It must be something about 5 year old girls!! My 5 year old does the same thing at home. She says she gets hot and off comes the shirt. I have said something a few times without success so now we just shake our heads and ignore it. After dinner is the time when she pulls everything off (including her underwear) because she says she's "getting ready for her bath"-- although the rest of us are at the table still having dinner and clearly it's not bathtime! I've never seen her do it when her friends are here and it has been a while since her last sleepover so I'm hoping it's only something our family is a witness to!!!

She came home last week with her class mascot (stuffed animal) and we were supposed to take pictures and document what we did over the weekend and my husband took some pictures of her (she was posing with the leopard) and her shirt was off for those!! I had to ask "who took these pictures?... we can't use these because you don't have a shirt on"(thinking her older brother could have made the error) but nope...it was daddy!! He didn't even think about it. I guess he's used to seeing her like that and it never occured to him that we shouldn't stick those on a posterboard for the teacher to hang on the wall in their classroom for the week!!!

Oh well! I'm surprised with as often as this is going on that another little 5 year old girl at the party didn't join in and do the same thing!! They will develop some modesty soon-- my 7 1/2 year old boy won't even wash his hands in the bathroom with the door open! Take care, R.

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S.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I am mom to 4 girls, grandma to 13, so experience is my middle name. Do not sweat the small stuff, Mom! She is only five. If telling her that "we always wear clothes at parties, even if it's pj's" is not enough to deter her from stripping down in front of her little friends, then just let it go and do not worry over it. She will eventually outgrow this. Actually, if it were me, I would just be happy she kept her underwear on! I'm sure you do not want to cause her to have huge inhibitions about her body, but you do want to teach her modesty, especially in a public setting, but this takes cooperation on her part. If you stress the need to dress too much and let her see it upsets you, she might just do it that much more. If you punish her by not allowing her to go to overnights anymore, this may send her the wrong message, too. So my advice is just to tell her you want her to keep clothes or pj's on when at other's homes, and try to say it as casually as you can, and give it time, but definitely you shouldn't stress out over this if she continues to strip down at bedtime at overnights. It really is not a big deal. There will be plenty of times in the future when you can stress out, but this shouldn't be one of those times.

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K.M.

answers from Atlanta on

I too have raised nudists - although I'm pretty modest. I think it's great that they feel comfortable with their bodies. My 7 and 4 year old girls run around in their under wear. my 9 year old son keeps a shirt on with his boxer style undies. We are glad that they are comfortable and believe that around the house, they will eventually decided for themselves if they want to be more modest - probably around puberty I'm guessing. However, we do tell them that they need to follow the ways of their friends when having visitors or going to a sleep over. So, if all the other girls are in jammies, they should wear their jammies too. I wouldn't mind if she was in her undies if all the other girls were. I wouldn't let my kid sleep over anywhere where there were a possibility of a pedophile being there. So, we feel that nudity is ok as long as it doesn't make other people uncomfortable. They do keep their undies on and for me that's good enough - maybe I'll rethink it around puberty if they don't naturally get more modest. I just don't want them to feel that there's anything wrong with the human body, especially their own. Maybe I'll have to keep the heat even lower than it is ;)

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

Well, I can say I have 3 boys and not until kids get around say 8 yrs old do the start to have modisity. (sorry spelling incorrect) My 8 yr old has just started not wanting us to pop into the bathroom while he's in there otherwise the 6 and 5 yr old I have come home from school and at some point end up undressed in underware using the computer or playing games or coloring. Yes they feel this is normal. I have told them look if the house would get on fire I need you dressed so we can go out side and wait for firemen (hoping this would help keep them in clothes, it doesn't). I've also said hey, if I want to take you to the park or McDonalds I can't you are always taking your clothes off....their replay is we can get dressed. I have stayed on top of them but I do have things to do so that didn't work very long. I'm not teaching my kids to be up tight about their bodies in any manner but I know that I feel as if I can't have folks drop by because my boys do this. Honestly, my sister has 4 boys and 2 girls she tells me it hits a different ages ( dev milestones) for boys and girls. Usually girls sooner then boys. She's only 5 an folks were taking their clothes off I say cut her a break....unless she runs for president only those at the party will bring it up and without pictures she need not worry about it hitting the papers. I'm not being smart I'm just trying to help make it lighter.....Just tell her please don't do that unless at home. After being a bus driver for the schools I can say there's always a talky child that loves to tell all (a future Joan Rivers) talk will stop and trust me the teacher at school has no time for it and will nip it in the bud. Kids get over thing faster then adults when it comes to this kinds stuff.
She will stop it soon she's only 5 and I can even recall the time I took off my bathing suite at age 5 in our drive way to swim in my little pool naked.... (my mother wanted to die she was talking to a neighbor man and I remember they always talked way too long) had they left I would of been able to be naked in peace however, I could wait no longer off it came....my mother was not happy. I was 5 and I guess by the time I was about 6 1/2 I didn't want anyone to walk into the bathroom when I was in the tub or on the potty....I also didn't walk around naked then either. Her time will come if it were me I'd tell her what I tel my boys just take off your clothes at home not at any friends house then move on and forget about it. If a mother brings it up smile and say "I hop ever one forgets before she runs for president" if this is all folks have to talk about they really need to do something else with their time if it is mentioned. Best of luck.

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K.H.

answers from Charleston on

My advice comes from Dana Carvey's stand up - he had two nudist boys. They let the boys choose one night a week to be nudist night at their house. Maybe just having a specific time and place for it is best.

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K.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi E.,

I totally understand how you feel. My son is three, but he is very outgoing and has no problem showing off what God's given him. Example: A few months ago, he went to the bathroom to potty by himself, as per his demand, and I was in the living room with three of my friends, two of which had flown in to Georgia and had not met my son yet. So what does he do? He prances -- literally, prances -- into the living room, stark naked, and squeezes in the little crack between my guest's knees and the coffee table and then just climbs up in his lap. "I naked!" he told everyone gleefully.

Luckily, we all thought it was funny. I remember being naked when I was a kid. I don't think it's a big deal, really. We just had a talk about how if he wants to play naked, he needs to play in his room or upstairs, because adults like it for people to wear clothes. So far, it's worked, and usually the idea of having to play in another room encourages his pants to stay on.

Good luck!

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

My son is 8 and still stris down to his undewear as soon as he gets home from school. Thankfully he only does this at home. I blame it on the fact that we let him go naked when we potty trained him as it was the only way to get him to use the potty. I just figure he'll outgrow it eventually.

As for your daughter, i agree with a previous post. Maybe if you set a time and place that it ok it will cut down on any future embarassment. In the mean time, think of all the funny stories you'll have to tell grandkids about when mommy was little!

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D.P.

answers from Atlanta on

Honestly, I'd chill. Naked five-year-olds are nothing to get too worked up about. One day, you'll LAUGH about this episode.

Maybe talk to her about times it's appropriate and inappropriate to be naked -- show her that people who are going to be around other people (grocery store, work, parties, etc.) wear clothing so they don't make everyone else uncomfortable.

Don't make her feel like her body is bad or wrong -- that will come soon enough and you'll be fighting it then.

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J.S.

answers from Atlanta on

We have to talk to our children especially our young ladies. I approached a similar situation by referring to my daughters body as her keepsake and that they are only for special people to see. Like her father and I. Get her a robe or a loose fitting dress. She may not like being bundled up. It worked for my now 16 year old. Good luck.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I've never had her do it in public but my 7 yr old will often sleep naked she HATES sleeping inclothes , even in winter I will go in her room in the morning and find her in nothing but her undies.

I'd tell her that it's ok at home but not at someone elses home.

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B.I.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi E.,
Both my kids did this. My son would still walk about in his underwear at home and he is 25 now. I finally told him he could NO longer do that when his little sister was 5. That he HAD to wear shorts at least. So now he has that habit.

My daughter is 13 and STILL likes to dress in the den. I don't make a huge deal over it,

The more you draw attention to this habit the more your Princess will do it. She is getting a HUGE reaction from you over it.

I would say someone along the line of "Oh you chose not to wear your jammies, I hope that works for you, because it's supposed to be very cold tonight." and let is go.

As the other mom's who have posted already. it not something to stress over and she is not in training to be a exotic dancer. LOL

She will out grow the behavior soon enough. hopefully sooner than my child. LOL I just don't fight that battle. I pick my battles over the BIG things. Like NO kissing.

HTH,
B.

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J.M.

answers from Savannah on

My chilren are a little younger than this so we haven't gotten quite that far yet. My son did see his older cousin take her clothes off though and then decided that it was a "cool" thing to do (he is 2). I think a lot of it is them testing their boundaries (and our patience) along the way. The more you react, the more she loves it. My son thought it was hillarious that I was telling him to put his shirt down/pants up, etc. So I started ignoring it! Really! And it seems to have stopped for the moment. Maybe since she is a little bit older you can explain to her when it's appropriate to do this too and how big girls only take their clothes off when they take a bath, change clothes, etc! Hope I helped in some way!

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T.Y.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm sorry, but that is hilarious...Oh my, kids... I think you should just talk to her without making a big deal about it.... but make sure to talk to her...

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