I Was Asked to Be in the Delivery Room!

Updated on September 24, 2012
S.J. asks from North Hollywood, CA
10 answers

My cousin asked me to be in the delivery room with her and her husband. It's her second baby. Unfortunately her mom passed away from cancer about a year and a half ago. She said I am the next best thing to having her mom in there. How do you think I could be a good support to her? What should I do to make this time special for her and her husband? I plan on bringing my husbands 5D camera. Should I journal and keep a time line? I have two kids myself and think this is such an honor!

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So What Happened?

WOW! Life is so amazing. God's creation is awesome. My cousin is a super hero. All natural birth and I was able to support her through it. I walked hallways and let her lean on me during contractions. She did so well. And I got to witness a baby being brought into this world. I kinda want to be a doula now! I journaled, got the baby's footprints on lined paper (ready for framing) and also took a ton of photos. She asked me to bring my point and shoot. I just made her a photo book on snapfish. Thank you for all your advice... the best given was just to be there and be present. I thought about that a lot because I didn't really know my place in the delivery room. Thank you all!

Featured Answers


answers from Richmond on

Just BE there. Don't do anything. Just.... BE.

You're the voice of reason, the shoulder for her to cry on, her rock... think of what you would want, and be that.

If you're already a mother, it will just come :)

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers



answers from Dallas on

Ask her what she wants, and take it from there. The journal is a lovely idea :)

3 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

What an honor, sooo special!
I would start by asking HER what she wants.
I NEVER wanted cameras or video in the delivery room. I know that makes me old fashioned but I don't care and I don't regret it, even now that my kids are 19, 16 and 13. The "few minutes following birth" photos are plenty sufficient :)
So ask her what she would like, what's most important to her. It helps that this is her second baby because she actually knows what she's in for lol!!!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I think you should ask her what would help her. My SIL just wanted my hand to squeeze (hard) and for me and everyone else to sit by her quietly. Maybe your cousin wants a journal, maybe not. Ask her. And enjoy it. It is really an awesome experience.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Well, did she ask you to be the camera woman or be in there for support? I am a huge fan of documenting, births, and baby timelines, but, since she compared you to her mom, perhaps she needs you as the support....'you can do it"....."focus"......"push".....etc. Ask her what she'd like you to do, suggest your idea of filming and see if that is the support she is looking for from you. Perhaps her husband will be filming. Just communicate. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Cumberland on

You are the conduit-what a privilege! Forget the camera-the hospital probably doesn't allow it and the best recording will be in your heart-something you will be able to recount for the rest of your life! Many blessings! You're very fortunate! It's the closest you get to God until your last breath. God love you.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from El Paso on

You could ask her if there is anything in particular she's like you to do, but for the most part, I agree with the others. Just be there.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Bloomington on

I agree. Such an honor! I was there for my BF's first two, but I was so young then that I didn't even think about doing some of the journaling for her. I think that's a great idea.

But, like Angeles said, just ask her what she wants from you.

I know it's her second, and she has some idea of what to expect, but maybe you could put together a little care package for while she is there (snacks, chapstick, drinks, etc.).

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Super lucky... since this is her 2nd time around... she should have an idea about what she likes and what drives her up the wall while in labor.

So you have an easy out: Ask her.

We all want different things (myself, I'd shoot you if you brought in a camera in my L&D room. Or possibly just toss it in the bathtub. My impulse control while in pain is pretty low). One of the hardest things for to-be / new moms is having no idea what they're going to want/not want. Since she DOES....

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

How awesome for you! I would definitely ask her if she wants you there more for support, or to capture any pics, etc. I have zero pics of either of my two as/right after they were born, even though my Mom & Sister were in the room also. (They were more my rocks, praying silently in the background, it was so reassuring to have them there.)

However, my hubby isn't a camera person, and I needed his hand to break, err squeeze. 1st ended in emergency c-section so understandable why no pics, but 2nd was a VBAC & I would have LOVED if someone had gotten a pic for the 2 seconds I got to hold him before he was in NICU & I was put under to get stitched up. Still regret that I didn't think of that & make sure I asked them to be ready with my camera (and they are camera people! lol) I think everyone was just in the moment, so I have no pics from his "first day". But anyway, have fun!! ;-)

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