I Want to Pull My Daughter Out of Her School and Hold Her Back a year..Can I?

You can pull your kid anytime you want!

And in MN, the "compulsory" age for school attendance isn't even until 7, which your bio says your daughter is now.

I am very pro-homeschooling, for all the reasons you list in your post, and so many more! Academic readiness is only a small part of a child's progress in school, and as you've pointed out, maturity and other social issues are overlooked. (Just push 'em on through like cattle!)

I don't know your work/home situation, but if this were my kid, I'd pull her TODAY, and homeschool for the rest of the year. I'm still researching homeschool protocol myself, but in MN it's a matter of filing some paperwork with the school district you're in, which includes your lesson plan.

Even if homeschooling long-term is not an option for you, it would buy you time until the next school year starts. You could research schools and not feel rushed and stressed about the whole deal.

A friend of mine had the exact same problems with her dd in 1st grade. They ended up changing school districts, but had that district evaluate her first, to see if she should redo K or continue with 1st gr. They kept her in 1st gr and she is doing really well at the new school. Good luck.
S.

And that's why I prefer private school. Is it up to the district when it comes to your kid? Hell, I would sue them for telling me how to raise my kid! It's your choice. I'd call the other district and ask if they have room. People move homes all the time and start mid year. Why can't you. If you choose to stay put then why can't you put her back a year now? It's your choice not theirs. If they give you grief start working your complaint up their chain to the head man.

I would definitely look into both moving your daughter and in having her repeat a grade. I have a summer birthday son and did not send him to school until he was 6. Like your daughter, he was fine academically, but socially I was a bit concerned (I watched him interact with kids at preschool and he shyed away from the more outgoing boys). He's an introvert for sure, but has many friends, some of them he's known since kindergarten. I know people who have held their kids back - I don't think the school can stop you. I agree with anothe poster that said it might be easier to move her to another school if you do that. As far as the bus issue - my fear is that it might happen elsewhere too. Give your daughter some tools to stand up for herself. Bus rides can be brutal - my boys hated the bus. Is driving her to/from school an option? Any moms in the neighborhood drive that you could car pool with or pay?

When I was in 1st grade my mother held me back a year, it isn't a big deal. I also transferred to a different school, a private (catholic) school. If you can afford a private school that would be great, there are some really good advantages. But if not public is good as well, my brother went to public and he seems fine (ha, ha). No I just remember it was easier to start over in another school then have to face the kids that use to be in my grade, it's such a sensitive thing to be held back. I also have a step daughter who is also young, just reaching the cut off, she is now a senior in high school and going to college next fall and I know that she would like to get a summer job that would pay more (like in a factory) but she can't because she won't be 18. That is also something to think about? Good luck!

I don't know that holding her back a year will be the answer or not. Age is usually not the culprit, I have seen the youngest child in the group be the bully as often as the one being bullied. Holding her back a year is no guarantee that anything will change in how other kids view her. If she was struggling academically AND socially I think it would be a benefit. However, I certainly think that you should visit other schools including some private schools (there is usually lots of financial aid available if that is a concern) and interview them about how they address the social development of students. Dealing with bullying has to be a multiple prong attack. The school has to have policies and techniques in place to minimize it and be responsive when it does occur. And they have to have an actively aware staff who really works to find and address bullies. Also, you need to work with your daughter on how to increase her assertiveness. Some things to consider if you haven't already...role play different scenarios and teach her how to use body language to her advantage (most kids I see being bullied I could pick out from a crowd before I ever witnessed any bullying as they tend to carry themselves very meekly), consider a karate class which helps build confidence and character, facilitate her building a few very strong friendships as friends make a huge difference in a school environment. Lastly, be her support system (watch the kids at the bus stop...either by standing there or by observing from a distance...just knowing an adult is watching changes behavior), coach her to sit directly behind the bus driver on the bus, volunteer at her school as a recess supervisor (most schools really appreciate an extra set of eyes during that time of day because typically 2-4 people are trying to watch a couple hundred kids). It is a time commitment on your part, but critical to her success in getting through this.