I Want to Host a Birthday Party for My Only Daughter 6 Years Old She Will Turn 7 - Piscataway,NJ

Updated on February 02, 2019
S.M. asks from Highland Park, NJ
10 answers

I’m afraid nobody will show up and I don’t want her to be disappointed please help

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So What Happened?

thank you so much for your help I’m going to send invitation to all her classmates and see what happen, thank you again

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answers from Washington DC on

what do you want help with?

planning the food?

deciding on the games?

sending out the invitations?

picking her friends?

why do you think no one will show up?

what is this strangely terse post actually about?


2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Boston on

Why are you afraid? Are you new to the area? Does she have very few friends? Do you find that people don't reply (RSVP) reliably or on time? Have you had a party for her before? Knowing what the history is here would help.

The key to invitations for school children is to send invitations to the home, either by mail (in a colored envelope that's obvious with all the junk mail and circulars) or via email (you can do evite if you like). You must put in a "reply by" date.Never, ever send invitations home via the school - the teachers have enough to do, some kids may not be on your invitation list, and invitations wind up on the bottom of backpacks under half-eaten sandwiches and single mittens. You have to have a way to follow up, either by phone or by email, if you don't hear back.

The other thing is to consider if you are doing what SHE wants, and to keep the party simple. Don't have a big expensive venue if you don't know a lot of people and you aren't sure about who will show up, don't invite a ton of kids (because they don't feel "special" and they feel that it won't matter if they don't reply or show up), and make it a party you can manage both in terms of expense and activities. Don't over-plan activities either - the kids don't have to be structured every second of the time. Have a definite start time and end time. At 7, kids can be dropped off and left by their parents, so make sure you aren't dealing with 20 kids alone.

We kept our parties small and used the "year rule" (7 year old invited 7 kids, 5 year old invited 5 kids). We usually had them at home, and we played a number of party games and did a craft of some sort. We never hired entertainers. From about 8 years old on, we did smaller parties, such as bowling for 6 kids with pizza and cake, and after that it was usually a movie and lunch for 4.

For me, big parties seem overwhelming for young children, and they are just big gift-grabs. For me, it was important that the guests see my son open the gifts, express pleasure and gratitude, and let the giver see his enjoyment. I objected to tables of 25 gifts and no involvement between the giver and the recipient.

If you are unsure if anyone will come, I suggest you have your daughter pick out 3 or 4 friends, and you issue personal invitations. In your public library, you can find great books of party games where everyone participates (not the games where someone is always eliminated and sitting on the sidelines). You can have a dance party with music (CD or iTunes) and a disco ball, you can do a craft (get ideas on line or at your local craft store - ask them what 7 year olds like), you can go to a movie (you pay for the kids, not their parents), you can find something at a local museum or science center. You don't have to have a big expensive theme.

You do have to make it feel inviting and make sure the invited guests know it's a special group and their presence would be a joy for your daughter. That means it's nice if they don't all talk about it in school among kids who aren't invited. This is a good time to teach your daughter to be sensitive and not brag about it in front of everyone, and to teach her the etiquette of opening gifts and smiling (whether she likes it or not) and thanking the giver profusely. She should write a little thank you note afterwards, which is mailed to the kids. That's a great way to cement friendships and make people feel special.

A few days before the party, send out a reminder with directions to your house or the location with just a little note about how much your daughter looking forward to having their kid come. That serves as a reminder without you saying, "Hey, I want to be sure you remember and don't stand us up!"

If there's a specific reason you're worried, please add that info to your question, and then come back and check old responses (if people update them) as well as any new ones.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

What's the problem? Why are you afraid they won't show up?
I assume she knows these kids from somewhere. All a 7 yr old needs is 2 or 3 and it's a party! So ask a few you know well.
Ask personally when you hand out the invites. Maybe that will ease your mind and give you an idea of who will show up. .
Give enough notice but not too far down the line so they will not forget. Tell her happy birthday for me.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

I suggest no one or just 1 or2 happens because the Internet allows to never make personal contact. I suggest that you follow up an invite with talking with the parents. Calling would be ideal. When my daughter was in grade school the PTA published a school with names listed by class. If you don't have one, ask at the office. Many parents will not allow their kids go to a party unless they know the parents a little bit. Some parents don't think it's necessary to respond.

When I took my daughter into the house and talked with the adult giving the party before I left. I took the initiative to meet the parent, see the house before leaving my daughter with someone else.

I've seen posts here about parents not giving an RSVP. It seemed to me that the hosting parents hadn't made personal contact. If parents haven't talked with party mom, it"s easier to blow off the party.

I also agree to keep the party small. A couple of times I had 8-10 kids at an at home party. A couple of my friends stayed to help. Both parties were in my back yard.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Santa Fe on

I think if you plan a fun party and invite the whole class you will get enough kids coming! Don't worry. You can also talk to other parents...ask if they think their child can come. My daughter is 9 and I've noticed kids get excited when they are invited to a birthday party. When a child hands out invitations to the whole class at school my daughter excitedly shows me when she gets home and asks if she can go. The last one she went to was in October at a little girl's house. She invited the whole class and many kids came. It was a halloween costume party. The mom had a table set with halloween crafts to do,although mostly the kids could just run around and do free play with each other. After the cake and ice cream they did a big witch pinata in the backyard. When I went to pick up my daughter I got to watch the pinata being broken and the kids were all so excited and having a good time. Does your daughter have some good friends? Some good classroom friends she likes? Some neighborhood friends? A friend from an activity that she seems to connect with? Talk to these parents when you give them an invitation and say your daughter is really hoping their child can come. Have fun! Big parties are exhausting in my opinion. I usually let my daughter invite 5-6 friends.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Portland on

My kids went to two different schools at that age - and it was handled the same in some ways, but a bit differently in other ways - so I'll include both here.

For both schools, invites went to school. Neither school had a master class list with parent emails or phone numbers. Kids handed out invitations at school - but it was handled as discretely as possible - usually at lunch (teacher would help kids put invites in school bags when rest of kids were outside). If you ask the teacher this ahead of time, they will tell you how it goes.

For one school, you did not have to invite everyone - and my kids invited who they liked (were friends with at school). They did not play with these kids outside of school - these were their classmates and sometimes after school care friends primarily. That's fine. That's how it goes at a lot of these parties. We got invites from kids I had never heard of too.

One of my kids' teachers had a rule early on (first grade) you had to invite all the girls in the class (or all the kids), and that was fine - you met all the parents that year. We did a very simple outdoor (backyard) type party and it was actually my favorite and my child's favorite. We kept it super simple really. The kids ended up chasing butterflies.

Suggestions - don't hand out invites on a Friday. Some kids are going to dad's on a Friday for the weekend, and you might not hear back. Invites can get lost on the weekend. I would hand out on a Monday. We did the Monday just short of 2 weeks before the party and asked to hear back in plenty of time before - usually the Weds before the party (at least). Here, people RSVP - typically we knew for most people.

We do 2 hours, serve something yummy (we do pizza) and cake, and you're good. Have something fun for the kids to do, and kids will want to come. :) It will be fine. Even if just a few show up - it's a party :)

I agree that large parties are a LOT and I loved when kids went down to just a few friends (for us that was later). Here, the big parties happen until they are about 10.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Why not have a birthday party for family only, or she can invite 2-3 friends for a movie outing. More of a safe bet than inviting 20-30 random kids and only having 4 show up. As to asking parents face-to-face, keep in mind that these days, most parents work and may have a family member picking up the kid, or the kid is in aftercare until the evening. Not inviting kids who are in these circumstances through no fault of their own, simply because you cannot speak to a parent face-to-face is rude, in my opinion, so I'd stick to the written invites that a kid can bring home, or ask a classroom helper/teacher assistant/PTA member to mass-email all parents by using bcc (so other parents' email addresses are anonymous) with an e-vite to the party. Good luck and hope she has fun.



answers from Los Angeles on

Invite the entire class.
Give them plenty of notice, like 3 weeks in advance.



answers from New London on

Ask the teacher if you would be able to pass out invitations in school. Maybe you can invite all the girls if you do not want the party to be too big and more personal. Make sure you put an RSVP date and your contact info on the invitation. Otherwise, parents get busy and might not respond. I always put a note in there saying that it would be great if you could RSVP by February 15th, so I know how much food to supply!



answers from Columbia on

Please invite your child’s entire home room class and a few friends.The kids always come back to school and talk about the party and you don’t want any of them to feel left out. Always limit the amount of invitations that you give out. Expect the the parents to stay and supervise their children. You can’t go wrong with preparing hotdogs, chips, cookies and a drink (bottle water or juice). Buy individual packages except for the cookies. While your child has fun you can also make some friends. Be the best hostess that you can be. Then, your house will always be one of their favorite places to go.

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