I Want to Be a SAHM

Updated on June 07, 2008
A.S. asks from Pickerington, OH
20 answers

I want nothing more in life than to be a SAHM or a part time WAHM...What steps can I take over the next few months to a year to get us to the point that this is a possibility? We have minimal cc debt ($4000.00) that we are working on paying off. But we have college loan payments that will be around for quite a while as well as two cars that are almost paid off. We try to stick to a fairly tight budget, but it still seems as though we will always need my salary. I am starting to really get depressed about everything I am missing out on in my childrens lives...I don't mind working AT ALL but would prefer it to be something I could do from home after they go to bed in the evenings...Please help...any and all suggestions are greatly appreciated!

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So What Happened?

You guys are great! You are all giving me so many good ideas and things to research into. I just redid our budget to be paying "forever monthly" things from my husbands pay and the debt from mine. One car will be pd off in August and the other next March(?) so I really want to concentrate on the cc and my husbands college loan. Mine have already been consolidated and will be the last thing pd off. I will definitely be researching more into some of the direct sale opportunities...Anyway, thanks again and keep the ideas coming!

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J.L.

answers from Columbus on

Have you considered direct sales. I am a Pampered Chef consultant and I do it on my own time (evenings and weekends). The extra cash helps out a lot. If you want more info, feel free to contact me privately.

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E.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

I use a program on Quicken that sets a budget for me. I suggest doing this. People don't realize where their money is going. Also, carry a note pad with you and write down EVERY penny you spend. HAve your husband do this as well. At the end of the week discuss where your money went. Did you stop for a Starbucks? Did you get a snack from the vending machine, etc. don't forget to figure in the fact that you need gas to get to work (Which you won't when a SAHM) also wear and tear on your car, lunches, work clothes, gas to take your kids where ever they stay while you are working, cost of child care. Add all of that up. I did and I saved money by not working. Check out www.thegrocerygame.com to save money on groceries and www.angelfoodministries.com as well. We cut our grocery buidget in half using these 2 resources. We went from $300 a month to $180. You may also want to try a debt reduction calculator (I'm sure if you search on line you'll find one). It will show you the quickest way to pay off debt according to interest, payments, and length of debt. Like, pay the minimum on everything except the car loan and pay an extra $150 there to pay it off 6 months early or something like that. You may also think about consolidating your school loans into one and making one payment.
We took money from our savings and paid off my car and then had that same money direct deposited back in the savings. We were paying 6% on a car loan and only making 1% on the savings. We saved all that interest and are putting the money right back.

I am a demonstrator for Stampin' Up! as well and bring in a few dollars here and there doing workshops. I do it for fun right now and to support my hobbie but, when we need a little extra money I throw in a few extra workshops and pay a bill or two. You can check out www.stampinup.com or contact me if you would like more info.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Columbus on

I'm not sure what kinds of WAH jobs you're looking for, but I recently found 3 sites that you can go to that list current legit,free of charge WAH job listings. I hope this will help you some.
ratracerebellion.com/job_postings.htm
genuinejobs.com
passiontosuccess.com/jobs.html

1 mom found this helpful
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C.E.

answers from Canton on

Dear A.,

After reading that you really don't want to work outside of the home, I might have an answer for you. Have you ever heard of Usborne Books At Home? They publish wonderful, quality children's books for infants up to high school. Usborne has opportunities available that would allow you be a SAHM, but at the same time, allow you to provide your family with the extra income. I'll tell you what, why don't you host a book party for your friends and family, any evening during the week or on a Saturday. This will do two things. One, it will allow you to see our awesome books in person and get some FREE books for your family. Two, you can see how much fun it is to represent Usborne. Many of our books are in circulation at schools, libraries, and daycares. They are much more durable than Scholastic and commercial free. Let me know if I can be of some help to you. My website is www.ubah.com/N2285 for you to get some more information. If this looks like something you would like to do, please contact me either by email ____@____.com or phone ###-###-####. I promise not to send tons of email or give you information to a 3rd party. I'm here to provide help and information.

Regards,

C. Elias, Educationa Consultant
Usborne Books At Home

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M.S.

answers from Columbus on

I really don't know how many places where you could work at home, unless its with a company that offers it. How about doing something part time away from home when the kids are in bed? I would say try to find something that you could coordinate with your husband's schedule. Maybe nighttime childcare?

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S.K.

answers from Cincinnati on

When our children where this age we had the same problem...I worked 3 days a week as a waitress, and trust me the money is fantastic!! At a decent place, the tips can rack up. The secret is...don't spend them, use them for bills

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L.B.

answers from Dayton on

Hi A.,
Unfortunately, I am not a SAHM, but, I did have to make the decision quit working to go to school full time. It is still pretty scary though. We knew that the time was coming so we paid off our credit cards, refinanced our car loan (not for more money, for less interest) and started saving for our upcoming rainy days. I was really worried about it because it seemed like we were barely scraping by on two incomes, but we really have been doing fine. I did start doing in home parties (the "fun" type), so that has helped some. It's nice to get out of the house for some "grown-up" time a couple nights a month, and the money is pretty decent (generally about $25/hr once you break it down) for the time you put into it. There are sacrifices to be made though. If you want to start setting yourself up for less-stress success I would cancel the cable, cell phone (or home phone if you both have cell), start cutting the coupons and signing up for online coupon newsletters. Start saving your money now so that you can have a little cushion while you are getting accustomed to single income living. It's hard to imagine that so many years ago all women stayed at home and really had no issues with it, but now we just are so used to having excess everything that we are costing ourselves an arm and a leg! Just prioritize your income, budget and time and you will do fine! Good luck!
~L.

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A.W.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi A.,

First when my husband and I decided that I wold stay home with our son we too thought that we would always need my salary. It is had been nine months of living without my salary and we are doing fine. I am not going to lie money is very very tight, basically what I am trying to say is until you do it it will always seems as if you cant. The best way to figure this out is put all of your paycheck in savings everytime, pay all your regular bills with his paycheck and all additional expensives (groceries, gas etc.) then after a few months you realize that it is pssible and now you have your 4000.00 to pay off your credit card from your "hidden" paychecks and one less bill a month and then quit your job.
Second, the company my husband works for is called fidelity national field sevices they have many work from home jobs the catch is your have to train in the office for about two months but then you set you up with everything you need to work from home. Let me know if you want more information or tricks to help you be able to stay at home.

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W.S.

answers from Cleveland on

A.,
Good for you! It is totally doable but you will have to give up the "all American" lifestyle and trying to keep up with everybody else. Just think, many people all over live on less and are doing fine. Dave Ramsey gives great advice, as well as www.crown.org --they have free counselors in many areas that you can ask for on the website.
The first thing I thought of was you have to start living NOW on your husband's income alone. Take all of your income and first of all put it towards an emergency fund of about 3-9 months living expenses (first you need a budget to know what those expenses are). Next towards the debt reduction, pay off the highest interest loan first or the one you can pay off fastest (smallest balance). Pay more than they minimums to pay it off faster. You could also think about selling a car and getting a used one, if that seems to work out better financially (it may not if your cars are fairly new and you'll lose money by selling one). Also, is there a possibility of reducing your mortgage payment by moving to a smaller house?
Does your current budget take into account your income or just your husband's? See if you can change it to fit just his (assuming you've paid off some of the debts). What kinds of things seem to be putting you over the budget?
These kinds of questions the counselor will work with you on. It's harder for me since I don't know all of the facts, but hopefully I've given you some ideas!
Blessings,
Lynn

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K.R.

answers from Toledo on

A. S,

My suggestion to you is what my husband and I did to prepare for the birth of my daughter (now 4)in order for me to stay home. For the next few months, bank your paycheck and live off your husbands. Don't buy things you want, buy only the necessities and things you really need! This should help you start to understand the sacrifices that need to be made, budget wise, money wise, and personally, in order to afford to stay home. My husband and I have been together for 11 years (almost 7 married) and we've had the same cars, no upgrades in anything and we still manage to pay the bills and have some extra to go out once a month each. We've also got bills, who hasn't? I hope that this helps you out!

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R.C.

answers from Toledo on

Are you interested in knowing about a skincare company named Arbonne? Have you heard of them? I just started with them...but have several friends who do really well.... my friend Amy makes 9,000 a month...and I have another friend who makes more then that...women can earn very good money within a year or less if they work at it....average of 15 hours a week....If you are interested in knowing more...email me at ____@____.com
I will be happy to help you....the products are really great!

Take care~ Rene'

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T.L.

answers from Cleveland on

A.,
Working a JOB from home and owning your own home business are 2 totally different things. If you have a JOB, you are trading time for money, whereas a home business uses leverage (a percentage of many peoples work as opposed to 100% of your own) Most people working their own business from home do it while they still have their regular JOB, at least to begin with. There are many tax write-off's if you have your own home business, such as gas, part of your mortgage or rent, cell phone, internet, yard care, etc. Check out the book IT'S HOW MUCH YOU KEEP THAT COUNTS,NOT HOW MUCH YOU MAKE by Ron Mueller.

T. L.
www.carrymehome.net

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S.D.

answers from Cleveland on

I know I'm VERY late in responding...but wanted to wish you all the best. If you still are looking for part-time ops you may want to check out www.beyondmotherhood.com ...it's a job board for moms.

Take care :)

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A.Z.

answers from Columbus on

Check out www.hondros.com You could become a realtor, many work from home, but you do have to leave for showings, etc. But at least it is more flexible.

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A.B.

answers from Columbus on

Dear Ann,
Two years ago I decided that I was going to work form home know matter what due to a really bad episode with my daycare provider. So I decided to be a day care provider out of my house. Now its not been easy and there are many vairiables to it but its what is working for me. My sister -in law is a Realtor so she can make her schedule work around her husbands. I also know another mom who sell through a company called Deborah's Collection. I can give you more info on her if you would like...or theres always Mary-Kay if your into that. I hope this helps...good luck to you it can be done!

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K.D.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi A.:

You can do it if you really put your mind to it. I was the breadwinner of the family contributing to 75% of the household income and after having my seconf child (I now have 3!) we were able to do it. First and foremost we got an economic hardship deferrment on my student loans (saved us $400.00 a month) which most are eligible for up to 3 years (after 3 years I consolodated with another loan servicer and got an additional 3 years), so between that and what we woulve spent on day care we were already saving 1600 a month, then we went on a rampage and cut back on everything (magazine subscriptions, the newspaper, bargain shopping, etc) and looked for bargains on our cable, phone, internet, etc. In addition I began doing some telephone work from home through Amvets (I scheduled donation pick ups) with that I would spend about 15 hours a week on it (during nap time etc) and that would give me around 4-500 a month extra to pay for grocery etc. I also I applied for WIC and was eligible for that based on my husbands income alone. I also began babysitting for relatives part - time (1 full time) and made 1200 or so a month from that. Plus I am a part-time Professor at a University so I went back to that teching one or two classes a semester. So with the money saved from day care and student loans and the money I was bringing in we we still had an income to live it just took some time and energy to get it going (and advice from others). See it can be done as I said you just to have to put your mind to it. I did and was able to stay at home with my kids and I am now in my 6th year as a SAHM and was glad I was able to be home with my kids and not have to send them to Daycare. I'm not saying it was always easy but he benefits sure outweighed going to back to work after my maternity leave. If you need any help or more advice please feel free to email me any time ____@____.com care and good luck. Kim

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C.M.

answers from Dayton on

I made that jump to be a sahm 17 years ago. There have been times when I have had to go part time places because unexpected things came up but I have loved being home. I never could make it work on paper but we make it work every month. I do have a great faith and know God made it happen for me. I am now a mother of 3 teenagers and an 8 year old autistic son, I just started working for work at home united. I love it, but it is a business and not a get rich quick thing. I would love to give you more information if you would like just leave me a message.
I think you are doing a wonderful thing for your boys.

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C.F.

answers from Rochester on

Paying off the credit card debt is the first priority. You will pay so much in fees every month, which means that everything you bought costs lots and lots more than it should. Just pay off as much as you possibly can every month (or twice a month if you can). Get that paid off and keep it paid off every month. After that, work on getting one of the cars paid off. Usually you want to pay off the car with the highest interest rate first. If your goal is to get rid of a car payment (which sounds like the case), then pay extra every month on the car that you owe the least on. For example, if you have a $10,000 car payment, and a $4,000 car payment, then pay off the $4,000 car first. Just put anything you can spare into it, even if it is only $20 a month. It will get paid off faster than if you just made the regular payments. It is an awesome feeling to get rid of a monthly payment, and that frees up money for something else-or allows you to not have to work as much- even better! Leave your student loans for last. You get a tax benefit from them, so you definitely want to pay off the credit cards and cars first. The other thing you will want to do after you get the cc paid off is to put money in savings for emergency money. That way if you do become a SAHM you'll be able to weather the financial storms easier and won't have to go back to work every time something comes up. I've never tried selling things from home, but it may be something that would work out for you. You could start it now and see how it works for you. There are plenty of things to sell out there- tupperware, tastefully simple, discovery toys, avon, pampered chef, mary kay, candle light, etc. Look at the people you know around you and think about what they would possibly be interested in buying, and what you would enjoy selling. Good luck.
C.

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K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

It's really hard to be a SAHM, the budget constraints and the change in livestyle caused by the lack of that second income can be very stressful, but it is doable if you want it bads enough and you can go without certain things. Start now while you're still employed, you said that you have some cc debt and student loans well take your check and pay nothing but those, A. it will get them paid off faster and B. you'll be able to see if you can manage the other expenses on your husbands salary alone. Next cancle all the credit cards but one and only use it for emergencies, it's a whole lot harder to pay off a credit card with one income than two. As for work at home jobs not to many of them are really all they are cracked up to be, I provide child care in my home from 5-5 while my fiance works and my older kids are in school, it gives my daughter something to do and helps make ends meet and is fairly inexpensive to start up. Good luck, i know what it's like to want to stay home, i just finally got to myself last year.

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H.P.

answers from Cleveland on

I have been home since a month before my oldest was born. In that time we have gone to a Zero based budget. Meaning before the check even comes we assign every dollar to its place. We live on what we need and as a stay at home mom, I think you should still budget in gas. You will be having play dates and running around with your kids. So we budget to pay off our debts. We budget to fill up our emergency fund. We budget our food, gas, mortgage, other debts, clothes, utilities, vehicle keep up, fun money, home improvement, and a few others i am sure i'm not thinking of off the top of my head. We currently don't have cable so that that extra cash can go towards paying off debt to. We have cut out as many extra perks as we can. We will be debt free in two years and mortgage free in 4yrs and retirement will be in the bank in give or take 12 years. We have lived Credit Card free for two years now and are slowly saving up a huge cushion for emergencies. This cushion has helped because when an emergencie has arrived we have been able to take care of it with cash and not credit. Then we slowly rebuild the cushion again. We live by Dave Ramsey standards. He has great books out there to help direct you. Money maters is a great book. I also do in home childcare to help bring in extra money. I get paid very well. Some people charge around 120-150 a week per family. And they are working full weeks. I just happen to live in an area that pays higher. I work three days a week and get paid 8 dollars an hour. It can be difficult when you want to just be a family but thats where I have really come to enjoy my days off. It is amazing how much more responsible we have become with our money. A few years ago I would have said there was no way we would ever be able to pay for our kids college. Maybe have a little saved to help each of them if they needed it. But I saw a future of student loans in store for them. And now I can see my kids going to school with it all paid for. And not because I want to spoil them. But because I want to bring them up cash only too and give them a future with a head start of no debt. And hopefully they will have saved up money by then and they can launch out in life in the right way. Not the way their parents did. But things are definately looking brighter. I budget 150.00 for groceries every two weeks. Shopping at Aldi's and giving up named brand labels and growing my own veggies in the garden has really helped. We live on minimal precessed foods and lots of natural foods. I cook most everything from scratch(having a culinary degree really helps with this. Its definately a little hard at times. We try to cut back on fun too. Fancy evenings out are a few times a year. and the rest are evenings where we cut corners. There are cities in the area in the summer that have free outdoor family movie nights once or twice a month and we take the kids to those. Lakewood is one they play movies outside at Lakewood Park. Berea plays them in the Square. Or they even have nights when they play them at the pool.We camp a lot thats cheap vacations.and in the winter I love shipping the kids off to Granpa and grandmas house and just having a night to ourselves in the house when we need a date. Eventually when the debt is paid off we will go back to having more fun but for right now I would rather "live like no one else so I can one day live like no one else". I hope some of this has helped. I would never want to miss this time with my kids, but I do look forward to a career of my own one day when the kids are in school. Even at that though I want to be partime so I cna still be involved with my kids and their lives.

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