I Think I Have PPD...emotional Just All over the Place. Feeling Crazy.

Updated on July 03, 2010
A.N. asks from Chicago, IL
10 answers

I think i suffer from ppd. I don't know if i should contact my gyne or a ppd hot line. It's hard for me to actually pursue help. I don't want to face the fact that i have a problem. But i feel ike i'm going nuts. like maybe my son is better without me. maybe everyone in my life would be better without me. (since i'm told repeatedly that i am always a complainer and start fights with everyone around me. my mom and husband have told me this. as well as my brother. they say i'm mean) My mom does feel i have ppd and need help. but i hate when people tell me i need help, when i know they need it to! i am not the only one with issues. except...

I'm also having issues with my husband. He knows i'm suffering from ppd, but he can be so cruel the way he talks to me sometimes. and it doesn't help that we live with my mom and sister. They hear all our arguments. i feel like we argue all the time. we're just over 2 years of marriage and been together for 12 years (my highschool sweetheart) but now it seems we can't get along. i wonder if it's just my ppd, but then i refuse to believe it's all my fault. Because he can be so mean too, it just confuses me and makes me more sad and angry. He says i don't show him i love him and that it's my fault he's angry. he says he's sad too and just tired of it all. I don't know why he doesn't realize that his words affect me too. I feel like he is bipolar sometimes, telling me he loves me and wants to me to get better, then throwing stuff in my face when he thinks i do things wrong (which means not his way). he does do a lot for us, for me around the house, shopping, fixing my mom's house cause it's old and needs work, i know he's stressed too, but i feel like he also has a temper problem. anger problem and needs to talk to someone, but he won't. he says he is the way he is b/c of me. because i push him to get loud and cranky. then i get loud back and i feel so bad that my baby hears us. i do not want him to turn out to be like us. i want us to see a couples counselor but he won't. he says i need to see my own counselor for my problems.

we loved each other so much. i miss just us. i love my son, but i miss my husband's love, miss being together, and i fear we will never reach that again. we even argue about divorce but i refuse to give up. i don't think we should give up . my parents gave up on their marriage after 20 years and both are still unmarried. they refuse to remarry. i dont' want to divorce. why do people think divorce is just the answer all the time now a days? an easy way out?

then i just hate to go to work. i work full time. my husband part time nights. i just want to be with my son. i never thought i would want to be a stay at home mom, but now i do, but we can't afford that. i resent my husband having more time with our son (who is now 11 months). I can't concentrate at work. i know my performance is low and mostly wish they would just let me go. I'm not happy with my job now, but thinking about finding a new job and putitng my portfolio together just stresses me out more and i end up just not doing anything about anything.

I just needed to vent and need to get my feelings out , because i don't feel i can talk to anyone anymore.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thank you everyone for your concern and advice. I did end up going to see my obgyn and she put me on Zoloft and gave me a list of therapist to contact. She told me no mother should have to go through PPD without help and wished I had seen her sooner. I honestly feel better after talking to her and my husband has been way more understanding. He even said he'll go with me to see a marriage counselor, so that may be our next step. The past few days have been much better over all and even at work. I feel stronger taking control of my life, because I felt so helpless and lost. I know it's just the beginning and feel very happy i'm on the right track.

Thanks again ladies!

Featured Answers



answers from Chicago on

Do not be ashamed--so many of us need help!! I used the hotline from ENH (now Northwestern) and I'm so glad I did. I just wish I did it sooner. I just let my anxiety build and it made me feel worse and closed in. We have come so far in a society that lets us talk about this stuff--and get the help we need. I also finally went on antidepressants, after fighting that for over a year. I wish I had followed my midwife's advice on that sooner. I finally feel better, and so do those around me.
Be well. Know that you are loved and needed. Call NOW.

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answers from New York on

Try the hotline. Just go ahead and call. That's what they're for! Then call your dr. He or she may be able to get you into a therapy group or give you some meds that will be safe and help you. Even if you're embarrassed or stressed: Get help! Your family only cares that you are ok!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

I do recommend that you speak to your doctor or call the ppd hotline to get connected to a counselor.
It may not be PPD, but it could. If could be another form of depression. It could just be that you are stressed out because you are unhappy with you life.

Whatever it is, I think your post shows that you are at the end of your coping skills and want to get help.
Good luck!



answers from Denver on

I agree with the statement below - it's not PPD, most likely just life and the challenges of it. I would call a counselor and that will help you sort through it all. It's overwhelming and you are feeling like so many others have. Much of it is "natural" but overwhelming (did I say that already)???? The counselor can help you sort it out and work on the things that are needed your attention to make you happy one at a time.



answers from Detroit on

I am so sorry. You sound so sad. It sounds like things feel like they are spiraling out of control in all areas. For your son if not yourself, ask for help. Call a hotline and also schedule an appointment with your OB or family doctor today. They will be able to refer you to a therapist or perhaps try medication. Depression is a clinical illness that is no different from any other sickness. There is no reason to be prideful or embarrassed. If you had cancer you wouldn't refuse help. Call today. Think of it as the first step toward a happier life for you and your son. Good luck, and come back here to vent any time.


answers from Detroit on

Holy moly... Your situation sounds so much like what I dealt with in my 1st marriage. I didn't want to divorce either, but I'm going to tell you now that only one person working on saving the marriage will NOT save it. It took me 5yrs to get out. Being remarried... I am SO HAPPY now. I am not the person I was with my ex. My ex changed who I was.

Sometimes when people are together, they don't realize they aren't themselves with that other person.

Ask him why he wouldn't want to work on the marriage by seeing a counselor. You can talk to your OB about the PPD. But there are deeper issues than just PPD. I also bluntly asked my ex one day, "What do you expect from me as your wife? I want details on what you want from me."
He didn't have an answer. Because what was he going to say? "I want you to take care of the house, inside and out, cook for me, take care of our daughter, work and make as much money as I do, let me play my computer games from the time I get home from work until I'm ready for you to give yourself to me at 11pm, even though I know you get up far earlier than me, and do everything I ask." Um... No. He would feel guilty for telling the truth... So he had no answer.

If you have any questions... FEEL FREE to PM me.



answers from Cleveland on

Seek help! There's nothing to be ashamed of, and PPD can become dangerous if left untreated. It will only get worse. Having a baby can really wreak havoc on our emotions which then affects our lives. emotions, relationships, jobs etc. It is hard to admit and face that you need help, but isnt this hard? Arent you miserable? I went through this too, and when I finally got help I felt soooo much better, and was a better wife and mother! Be strong and know you are not alone. And asking for help is a braver thing to do then not.



answers from Chicago on

Antoinetee please consider using an antianxiety/antidepressant medication to help you get over the hump until you can use counseling to resolve emotional issues. You need to be the healthiest mom you can be for your son, and if medication is what you need please talk to your doctor. I was always against using meds until I had my son and had severe post partum issues. My doctor and my family convinced me that it was the right thing to do for my son, and they were right. I was on Zoloft for less than a year, and it that time gained tools for dealing with my issues without medication. I am sorry you are going through all of this, and I hope things get better for you.



answers from Chicago on

You need help; don't ignore your PPD. I would also go to marriage counseling with your husband. The dynamics of a couple changes once you have kids & it's really hard to adjust, especially if you are also suffering from PPD. Men feel ignored & unloved when a baby comes & women feel resentful & tired. All couples go through this adjustment period, so it's not uncommon to go for couples counceling. Seek help now; there is no shame in getting help for you & your family.



answers from Fresno on

I realy think you should make an appointment with your OB to talk about PPD. I am on a low dose of Zoloft after my 2nd child (15 months). I was constantly irritated or mad and I felt a little crazy. After 4 weeks of being on it I felt 100% better and back to my pre-baby self. I definitely think Divorce is not the answer. I would try to get checked out medically and then maybe some counseling. Your husband may be depressed as well- men generally don't seek out help.

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