I Need My Son Potty Trained Asap!

Updated on June 08, 2009
S.M. asks from San Diego, CA
19 answers

My 2 1/2 year old has been really good at peeing on the potty since right after he turned 2. Lately, he's regressed and has been having a lot of accidents so we put the pull up on him, which doesn't help because he will just go in them instead. Everytime we ask him if he needs to go, he says no, we have to initiate taking him and when we do, he goes. He has never been able to go #2 and will just go in his pull-up or underwear. I know some of you will say its still a little early but he had the pee down and I know he can learn very quickly. Just need some tools to get him there. He is starting pre-school in 2 months and if he's not potty trained by then, he won't be able to start. I'm desperate for some great tips! What worked for you?

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

We used a behavior chart where you get stickers for each day you stay dry and go on the potty. After 10 stickers you get a present or special treat. My son was 3 when we did this but you can try with the 2 year old. Good luck.

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J.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

I told my son that they didn't allow diapers at Preschool which was true. We did not do pull-ups as my doctor was against them. We went straight to underwear 1 month before he started Preschool and I just said they did not make diapers for his age anymore. We stayed home for 3 days, had a lot of accidents and he was potty trained in a week. He did have some trouble pooping on the potty for 3 days. He ended up constipated. I finally gave him some orange juice while he was on the potty and in about 5 minutes he pooped on the potty. He is great now and no going back to diapers. Good Luck!

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi S.,

I agree that you need to let your son know he cannot go to preschool if he is still wearing pull ups. However, you need to realize that he may just not be ready. If he isn't pushing him will do more harm than good. Praise and not pressure is the key to potty training. Lay it on the line, it's the school's rule but if he is not ready than that should be okay with you too.

You can try sticker charts for each time he goes - maybe red stars for #1 and blue for #2. When he fills a row maybe he gets a small treat as a reward.

Please remember he is only this age once. And sooner than later you will be looking back at this stage and wondering where all the time went. I know mine are seven and ten. Take your time and let him take his. There is plenty of time for preschool. It's not going anywhere.

Good luck.

C.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with Carrie. If he's not ready or if there are reasons why he feels the need to regress then that needs to be addressed first. If he's copying his sibling to feel more a part of something, that's normal too! He may just need exactly what Carrie said, praise and understanding and encouragement. I don't believe that fear or discipline with potty learning is something that helps kids get past issues or regression roadblocks.

For every action a toddler has there is a reason. I do agree putting him back in the pull-ups is giving him a way out. My son is currently in the potty learning early phases, and we're taking it slow. Things are ever-changing for him since we have a visitation schedule.

Sit down with your son and explain to him that he's a big boy, and big boys go in the potty and once he's got that down he GETS TO go to school and learn fun awesome stuff with his friends at school.

Just be patient and keep it consistent. He'll get it. He just needs some guidance back to where he was at before.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi S., First sweetie let me tell you, for future refrences since you have a 10 month old as well, never go from underwear back to a pull up or diaper, it confusses children, and gives them a false sence of security to g ahead and poop or pee on themselves, you don't want to encourage that, another thing you don't ask if he has to go potty, you tell him to go, if you ask you are giving him a choice, when you tell, then are aserting your parental authority. There is no such thing is unable to go #2, it's a refussal not to go #2 in the potty, and if there is no consinquences for it, then he has no reason to not poop on himself. I don't think to many people will tell you it's still a little early, at 2 1/2, I'm not telling you this to brag or to impress you, but to impress upon you that at 2 1/2 he should be using the toilet, I have 3 grown kids, they were all using the toilet for pee and poop before thje age of 2, and in 12 years of doing daycare I have never had a 2 1/2 not pooping in the toilet, I was the main one who trained them all. I know mamas hate when I tell them that discipline is important in all learning and training but it's true, I use reward and discipline, and I had completly trained tots at age 21 months, 19 months and 22 months, these were my own. Tell your son if he wants to go to school he has to use the potty like a big boy, In my daycare if they are still pooping on themselves at 2 I don't take them, unless they are in the process of traing, and I can take it from there. Good luck, be Patient, be loving, but be firm and serious. J. L.

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R.J.

answers from San Diego on

Our nervous system actually has to completely rewire, in order to give us conscious control. Prior to conscious control it's controlled by our autonomic nervous system (the same one that takes care of our heart beating, breathing, etc.). Not only does this take physical time, but the nervous system has to learn to multitask (aka, deal with mental, emotional, and other physical needs).

The rewiring though, takes time. And there are ALWAYS "setbacks". Setbacks though, are
primarily from that neural multi tasking...and the multitasking is a GOOD thing, if we didn't learn how to do it then every time we read a book/ shifted our weight/ opened a door/ were surprised/scared/sad/happy/ etc we'd pee our pants. Yikes.

Remember it's the nervous system learning FAR more then your son. His nervous system has to send the message to the right part of his brain that his bladder is full, and then that message actually has to receive "priority shipping" to a whole OTHER part of his brain for him to actually even KNOW.

That's mostly what accidents are all about. The brain learning how to multitask, and which messages to send where. Accidents are actually pretty key in the learning process. As is our (ever feel like you're on pee-patrol?) constantly asking, and then taking them to the potty just to "try".

Some tricks:

- Never get them in trouble for accidents. 9999 out of a 10,000 they weren't on "purpose", and tying in guilt & shame makes the process take longer.
- Toss the pullups unless you're trapped in a car/plane.
- Carry 3 or 4 total outfits from tops to socks with you in the car. Just keep 'em in ziplock bags. One outfit per bag. Having a few of these easy change bags is nice around the house, too.
- Check for "sneaky pee" when they think they don't have to go when you asked. That takes the fault OFF of them AND it turns them into little investigators who are trying to outsmart the sneaky pee. Plus it's silly. The 2 zillionth time you say it is pretty much as light hearted as the first.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from Las Vegas on

They say kids sometimes regress when there is a change in the house, ie new baby, new pet, moving. We used Scotty Potty for my son. We used it when he was turning 3 but he really "got it". It is the same one-day technique that Dr. Phil recommends. You can try it. I found ours on Ebay. It comes with an instruction book of how to introduce and use the doll. Dr. Phil has alot of suggestions on his website too. We had my husband put the doll on our front porch and ring the door bell. When I opened it I told my son that Scotty had arrived to teach him to go on the potty. Good Luck!

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V.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's been my experience over the past 20 years of providing quality child care that little boys rarely are "potty trained" before their 3rd birthday. Developmentally they are just not ready. Their muscles are not fully developed...and by completely trained..that's the ability to determine the need to go...allow the time to get to the potty.."they" need to remove clothing..and "they" need to get on potty...and at 2 1/2 I don't think he's ready. Be careful...if you push you wind up with constipation issues. Remember...at 2 1/2 there is NOTHING in his little world that he can control EXCEPT that!....lol..
Good Luck

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M.F.

answers from Reno on

i think using pull ups is confusing for kids it pulls the liquid away from the skin so there is no discomfort. i know it can be tough to let him pee himself in public and use a pull up so you dont have to deal with it but i found the best way is to let them be uncomfortable and not want that feeling again

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C.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Buy this guide. My son did it when he was 22 months. He wasn't showing any signs to my interpretation- but some according to hers. It worked- expect some accidents when you are out for the first couple weeks- more due to the frequency of them needing to go potty as they adjust, but it worked amazingly!!

http://www.3daypottytraining.com/

C., mother of 3, sleep consultant, sleep blog writer www.lullabyluna.com (great give-a-way going on right now)

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I.Y.

answers from Los Angeles on

Gosh... my son is 2 1/2 and at 20 months he was doing really well. He went pee pee and poopie in the potty. Then, he regressed and is back in diapers. However, I have also not pushed the issue - I have always been told that boys take longer anyway. My four year old son is not poopie trained at all. Every time I have tried to push it a little, he holds it and then we have an even bigger problem.

The reason I am telling you all this is because I don't think you can push a child to be potty trained. If they are ready, they are ready. If you really feel you need to start now, take those pull ups off of him and if he pees everyday in his undies, he pees. Let him learn and dislike the sensation of peeing in his undies. That may get him to start using the toilet again. OR, there are several different techniques you can try. Buy colored cheerrios and place them in the toilet for target practice. Have him go to te bathroom with your husband. You can also use stamps/stickers - every time he goes, you can put a stamp or sticker on him or let him put one a potty chart. OR, you can give him an m&m every time he goes. Those are a few ideas... but remember, the most important thing is to make this a loving thing. Don't get frustrated or angry when he has an accident, that will surely make him take a few steps backwards!!

Good luck.

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D.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

You can potty train children before they reach 3 easily, if you train yourself first. Don't expect them to think about it! They have been going around in their toilet since birth. You have to help them change that habit. You can't use the pullups all the time as they feel just like their old toilet. Us the pullups only for long trips in the car or when visiting others. At home you will just have to deal with accidents. The easiest way to train them is by example also. Go into the bathroom yourself and go when you have them go. Even if you do not have to go. Tell them that when you go into a restroom you have to try and they do too. I have 7 grandkids that I helped potty train as well as my sons. One thing I did was I took them to an amusement park once then told them they couldn't go back until we went without the diapers, pullups... as I wouldn't go and have to spend half the day changing their pants. They would have to be big boys or girls to go back. They would have to be able to use the toilet like I did. After teaching them to try even when they did not have to go I would just say I had to and have them try at the same time. Before you knew it we were back at the amusement park. Girls do have better blatter control earlier though. My one granddaughter was only 18 months when she started using the restroom regularly her dad (my oldest son) was potty trained the earliest of the boys though at 2. All of the grandkids (3 girls and 4 boys) were potty trained by 3 except one. That was due to him having celiacs, not lack of effort on his part. Celiacs gave him loose stool all the time. Socializing with other kids that are close in age, but are already potty trained helps also. That way you don't have to go with them, you can get the other child to go at the same time also.

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A.R.

answers from San Diego on

My daughter is also 2 1/2 years old. What we did about 4 months ago is spent a 3 day weekend at home and left her completely naked. We kept her potty chair in the same room she spends most of her time in and I made a big production about how she is all done wearing diapers/pull ups. I let her watch me throw them in the trash too. She had accidents and had to learn to hold it until she sat down so we were cleaning the carpet all weekend but 3 days in and she was completely trained and we haven't had any accidents since.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

You DO have to initiate it - always. Especially at this age. Set a timer if you need to but take him potty often and watch for cues. Don't say, do you need to go potty? Until 4ish he'll say no! LOL!! Say, do you want to go in this bathroom or that bathroom? Or Do you want to go potty by yourself or do you want me to come with you?

Remember too that despite how great he goes pee pee, despite that he is a quick learner, this whole potty thing shouldn't be forced. If he isn't pottied trained by the time school starts, then post-pone his start date. If he is really close, talk to them, maybe they allow kids who are just newly pottied trained/just getting it down? At least ask if you haven't. But, as frustrating as it can be, try not to let it get to you, because he will sense that and then you can just tack on another 6mos or so till he is ready. Really, if he knows this is what Momma wants then it may become a battle.

I always recommend The No Cry Potty Training Solution by Elizabeth Pantley to Mom's who are about to potty train their child. I think you'd find it useful. It's a quick read and very informative/helpful.

My son was pottied trained after his 3rd Birthday (it was a piece of cake - no tricks needed, I think because he was ready). My daughter was nearly 4 when she was pottied trained.

Best wishes, let us know what works for you!
M.

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Do you have any friends with a child that is near the same age and potty trained, that you could have over for a sleep over or play dates? Peer modeling works wonders!

My grandson started training himself after our friend spent the weekend with us and brought her granddaughter. My 2 1/2 yr old grandson asked for pullups too and is almost trained in just a couple of weeks.

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L.S.

answers from Reno on

Let me just say that he really truly may not be ready. We hear all of these stories of children being trained by age 2, and then when it doesn't happen we get overwhelmed! His body might be ready to hold pee in, but his mind may not.
My daughter started peeing in her potty when she was 18 months. I thought she'd be trained by 2 for sure...NO WAY! She did really good in the morning after waking up and after nap time, but she never started pooping on the toilet. She was pretty young so I thought I'd give it some time. Eventually when she was 2 1/2 I started hot and heavy trying to train her again. She is smart as a whip, but she just wasn't having anything to do with going potty. I'd ask her and she'd say no, I'd try to take her in the bathroom and she would refuse, I would catch her going poop in her pullup or undies and take her to the bathroom, she would stop going. Well I didn't want to get her constipated so I figured she wasn't ready. I thought for sure she'd be trained by the time she was 3 and my 2nd daughter was born. March rolled around and still NOTHING! She would just NOT do it. 3 weeks ago she said she wanted to start using her potty (it plays music when she goes in it, it's so cute!). She started getting really excited, we told her she could have her new bike and helmet if she started being a big girl and she hasn't gone back! She's been super at peeing, and the past few days she has been going poop...and the best part is I don't have to even ask her anymore if she has to go (which was a big problem since sometimes I'd just miss it, or I was nursing the baby, busy cooking dinner, etc. you know!) Now she goes in there all by herself, I hear the music and then I go help her out! I thought it would NEVER happen but I am soo stoked it finally is and she was ready. Because before, she really was NOT ready and it was a battle and I didn't want it to be that way. She turned 3 in March so she's now 3 yrs and 2 mos. It seems old but I was the same way and I know several kids that weren't potty trained until after 3 and even close to 3 1/2. I hope you can get him trained for pre-school though, I just thought I'd share my story because your son sounds exactly like my daughter was.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, I have 4 boys so I know what you're talking about. I never pushed my boys since it's no use and I wouldn't even look at a preschool that want's a child to be potty trained at that age. As a matter of fact my two older boys (7 and 4 years old) only got potty trained by age 4 and it was not an issue at either preschool they attended. I will also not press the issue with my two little ones (ages 2 and 11 months). I think you should give your little one some time and find another preschool. Good luck to you.

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

summer is a great time to potty train. I used popcicles as a reward everytime my daughter went. We used that propel water that has almost no sugar to make her popcicles and she LOVED it. Good Luck!

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

A different school, for plan B at least?

When I looked at preschools for my son, a few required potty training by 3. None required it by 2.5, though. At the end 2 schools were my top choices - the first one required potty training, and the second doesn't. I picked the second one. My son, as it turns out, was not potty trained when he started school, but once he saw all his friends went at school it took very little time and effort to get him trained. So the difference in the timing of potty training between the two schools was maybe 2 months, but it was a world of difference in terms of effort.

Here is the fact for schools that "require" potty training -If your son is mostly potty trained but still have accidents when he starts school, the teachers will just clean him up. So it's not the end of the world. But if the school you choose deny your son because of a couple of accidents, ask yourself is this really the school that you want for your son?

Best of luck!

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