I Need Help Getting My Son to Sleep Through the Night

If he is only 8 months ld, he may need a bottle in the middle of the night. when he wakes, try not to talk to him or make eye contact. change him if needed and then give him a bottle. if he sleeps throught the night after that...then you'll know he was hungry, and you will get to sleep too!!!

Let me recommend the following book:
"Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West. It introduces the "Sleep Lady Shuffle," which has helped my 16 mo. old daughter tremendously!!

Give it a try.

A friend of mine suggested that I read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"....it was the best advice I've gotten! It walks you through sleep issues that may arise from birth on. Since he's falling asleep on his own, I would say you've conquered half the battle!

My son went through the same thing at about that age. Our pediatrician said that it happens when a child learns something new like pulling up, sitting up,etc. They just want to do it all the time even in the middle of the night. We tried following Dr. Faerbers method ( he has a book about preventing sleep problems in children). I would go in every 10 minutes and console him - staying less than 1 minute, not picking him up and whispering "its bedtime - everyone's asleep. I love you - you're fine, etc" He continued this for about 2 weeks ( which was like a living you-know-what) and then he worked himself out of it. The hard part is waiting every 10 minutes and just staring at the clock. But - this too will pass and he'll be back in his regular routine. Best Wishes! S. (Mom of Andrew-18m & one on the way)

Hi C.,

I kknow just the thing. This is how I keep my son up and how I get him to sleep during the night. Play, Play, play and keep him up as much as possible and if he takes naps only give him a 30 mon. power nap. Works great and soon the child in about a week will get used to it and sleep form 10pm to 6am and then go back to sleep around 7am to 9 am. It's wonderful.

Even though there are TONS of links on how awful "crying it out" is for children and their development I thought I would post a study from Harvard about it. http://www.sleepnet.com/infant3/messages/534.html

When you don't answer your child's crys you are telling them that when they are upset, scared, or unable to express themselves not to call out for you, that you will not answer. To leave a baby to cry it out does work, that is because the baby learns that the parents will not comfort him.

It is not normal for a child of this age to sleep through the night. For one thing their stomaches are only as big as their fist and will awake hungry and disoriented through the night. Also after a child has spent 9 months with their mother 100% of the time it is only natural for them to want to be with their mother at the most vulnerable/scary time for them, which is sleep.

Here is another link to Dr. Sear's website. It has great info on infant sleep cycles and how to get your baby back to sleep.
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp Best of luck!

Well the offical sleeping through the night is only 6 hours instead of what we think as 8 or so.. I think your routine is great. He will eventually start to realize that he isn't gonna get to sleep with momma or daddy. I agree with the extend the bedtime to an hour or so after what you start. get him put down around 9 or 930 this may help. Also no naps past like 5 in the evening or some time like that. If the no nap time don't work make it earlier until it does. I hope this works. Congrats on the new baby coming. Good luck

My son is 9 months old and doing the exact same thing. I've decided to let him sleep with me (it's kind of easier since I'm a single mom.) His pediatrician says it's perfectly fine to let him sleep in the bed while he's so young. Breaking him won't be any harder than anything else, and if it helps him (and me) sleep, then it's worth it. And he has no problem going to sleep in his own room for naps, etc. Also, when he wakes up, try giving him a small bottle...it fills his tummy up and knocks him out for a few more hours.

I've been told to try the "let him cry it out thing" but I'm not really comfortable with that. My best friend is a child psychologist and she says it could give a child a premature sense of self-reliance. He won't trust you to be there for comfort...possibly. I'm sure not all kids would suffer that, but I'm not taking a chance.

Sounds like you're doing a good job! My son started waking up when he learned to roll over/pull up etc and I think it was initially startling/exciting so it kept him up. Eventually (month or so) he got over it and went back to sleep. We did start diminishing our visits to give the binky, pat okay, etc. I had started to go a little nuts as well until my girlfriend with 2 kids reassured me it was just a phase.

Best of luck!

I think that you are on the right track with your routine. I one thing you didn't say was if you were adding cerel to the last bottle. With him only being 8 months old he may be hungry at that time each night. I would suggest that you put 2 tablespoons of cerel in his last bottle. This will last longer on his tummy. But one thing that you are going to have to do is split the nibble of the bottle b/c the milk will be thicker and the larger hole will help the milk to flow. I hope that this helps b/c I know what it is like to have to get up and down all night.

I am also going through this with my 9 mo. old son. He has had an ear infection and is cutting teeth. So I'm not 100% sure that isn't part of the problem. I have been trying some of the things you and the other Moms mentioned. I just keep telling myself it is a phase and just like feedings every 1 to 2 hours thoroughout the night dwindled this will too. Life is full of peeks and valleys. Hang in there.

wow... my little girl didn't sleep through the night until she was 18 mos old. So, I have no advice on this :) I think it is an american thing to have babies sleep through the night. Friends of mine from europe thing it's nuts when people ask them if their baby is sleeping through the night. To each his own I guess!

Good luck!

A.

i agree with mary h. i give my daughter sydney a bath every night. and before she goes to bed, i give her a warm bottle with formula and ceral. while she is taking that, steve, my boyfriend, reads her a book whil i rock her to sleep.
good luck
R.

C. - couple of things to try might be to extend the bedtime - start at 7:30 or 8:00 and put him down at 9:00 p.m. (depends on when he normally gets up in the morning); take him out in the stroller before starting the bedtime routine; have a playtime routine before the bedtime routine, etc. Sounds like he has some excess energy, gets a 'cat nap' and then wakes up raring to go. It's good that you are resisting putting him in your bed... we did the same thing and it eventually worked out for the best. My cousins ended up putting their little boy in bed with them and 4 years later he is still there! I would try to 'wear' him down a little so he would be more inclined to sleep for longer periods of time. Try not going into his room during the night when you hear him up and see if he can get himself back to sleep. You going in there to check on him and pat him, etc. could be giving him additional stimulation to keep waking up??? Best of luck and congrats on the soon-to-be new addition. C.

Hi C.,
I just went thru the same thing with my 16 month old. I used the same book I used with my now 6 year old to get him to fall asleep. The book is called "Helping Your Child Sleep Through The Night" by Joanne Cuthbertson and Susie Schevill. I used it when my 6 year old was 9 months old and it took 2 weeks and he started sleeping thru the night.

Two weeks ago I tried it with my 16 month old and it took him 3 days to sleep through the night. For the most part he sleeps through the night unless he doesn't feel well. There are several methods in the book. But the methods I used were to develop a routine (which you already have) then I held a stuff toy as I held my son so he could associate the toy with comfort. Next, I stopped rocking him and put him to bed while somewhat awake so that he can fall asleep on his own. He still cried but then I followed their advice on waiting 5 minutes to rub his back and softly tell him to go back to sleep, then 10 minutes then 20 minutes, then 30 minutes...After that I would just come in every 30 minutes until he went to sleep.

I will say this, I did not use that strategy with my now 4 year old and he still does not sleep through the night most nights (he wakes up sometimes during the night with issues of more water, monsters, can't go back to sleep, etc.) We were not as firm with him. My hubby and I held him throughout the night everytime he cried thinking he would grow out of it. His 4 and I am still waiting for him to grow out of it. : )

You are doing great. I'd say keep the routine, but you might want to rethink the music all night. IF he needs sound, how about a white noise machine or evan a fan. All babies wake during the night several times the key is for them to learn to put themselves back to sleep. The music could be making him more alert. Just a thought. Good luck!

I know this sounds cruel, but this is what my husband and I had to do with our daughter. We just let her cry. It was by accident the first night, the moniter batteries died, but we realized she lived and was fine the next morning. After about 3 nights, she was fine. She now is the best sleeper I have ever seen and I was a nanny to six kids. So I have a lot to compare it to. It is hard, but sometimes you need sleep. Especially with another baby on the way. I know all about that too. My kids are 18 months apart and thats hard. If you ever have anymore questions, feel free to write.

C.,
Keep doing what you are doing! Allow for more time before you go back in there a second, third, fourth, etc. time, each time a little bit longer. Hang in there, it gets better and he'll get the picture sooner than later.
Congratulations on your upcoming baby!

L.

When my daughter was born we kept her in our room; but in a bassinet next to our bed. She went to bed every night around 9 or 9:30pm and only woke up around 2am for a bottle and then back to sleep. She didn't sleep in bed with me except when she was sick. She always had her basinet to sleep in. We switched her to her own bed; still in our room when she was around 9 months old. She slept better in our room then. We also made sure we didn't let her nap past 3pm so that she would sleep at night. She is now three and sleeps in her own room/bed every night. Hope this helps.

E.
Mother of one beautiful 3 year old daughter.

I'm going through the exact same thing with my 6 month old, I tried everything!!I'm so exhausted from not sleeping for the last 6 months that the last few weeks i go in to her bedroom around 12.30 when she wakes up, feed her, change her (if she needs it) and i have to close the door to her room and my room and turn the monitor down (this has helped more than anything becouse if not i can here every tiny noise she makes), i have come to the conclusion that at that time she is fed, she is changed and there is nothing wrong with her other than she doesn't want to sleep. I can still hear her if she cries really hard and i'll admit i still wake up to see if the lights are moving on the monitor, Not sure if any of this will help, but i know what you are going through.

Hi C.,
I know you're very tired. That's part of being a new mom. It's a price we pay to have these precious little angels with us. My son is 15 months old & still doesn't sleep through the night. Whenever I start to feel frustrated & exhausted, I remind myself that he is, after all, just a baby, and he wants to be close to me. There will come a day when he doesn't need to be that close to me anymore, & I will miss it tremendously. It makes me sad to think that my baby won't be a baby much longer, & I treasure every moment of his babyhood, even in those midnight hours. Holding him in the quiet darkness & nursing him or rocking him back to sleep is a privilege I wouldn't trade for anything.
Hope this helps you some.

Could it be that he just wants to see you in the night and have you pat his back? I agree that maybe you should let him cry a bit. Maybe the first night just peak in and say, go back to sleep without touching him... next night say it from outside the door, etc... I bet it wouldn't take long for him to learn since he already knows how to put himself to sleep at bedtime.

Try waking him up about 11:00 before you go to bed to give him one more feeding. Also, you might try giving him formula instead of breast milk for the last feeding. My dgt has slept through the night since about 6 weeks and that was what we had to do. She took so long to nurse in the middle of the night that I would fall asleep in the rocking chair feeding her. She could take a bottle much quicker and we could both get some sleep.

C.,
My two youngest are 17 months apart so your gonna have your hands full once the baby is born. He does want to get into your bed, but if your set dead against it then it may sound a little harsh, but you either have to keep making him happy and making yourself upset, or you have to peek in on him to make sure he isnt in any danger, and you have to learn how to somehow turn a deaf ear to him. As long as he sees that mommy or daddy is going to come into his room he has won. try going into his room and just looking at him, not touching(trust me it really works)..I have three children 12, 3, and 1 1/2..if you just watch him and not touch he will know that you are there but not to get him out of his crib. he is going to scream and scream and scream until you get him, but if you are consistent and just look at him scream he;ll get the message then eventually wear himself out. If you don;t want to do that becuase you may think its harsh, then just wait until the new baby is born and your really gonna getupset with him, so you have to do it while the baby isn;t here yet, becuase you won;t have the time..

My name is M. I have a 10 month old and she sleeps all night. Don't let him sleep with you you will never get him back in his own bed. Stop playing the music at night, it stimulates and he thinks its play time. My daughters nursery is completly dark with no noise. Also try a ceral bottle befor bed mix his formula with regular Gerber baby ceral. A fuller belly helps some babies sleep better. I hope this helps.