I Love My Son but He Is Annoying.

Updated on November 13, 2012
J.D. asks from San Francisco, CA
24 answers

I love my 10 year old but he is annoying. I don't know how to help him without damaging his self esteem. He likes to be the class clown and is always trying to be funny during inappropriate times. It really works my nerves. For example I'll say something like "Oh I like that song" and he'll respond "no one likes that song". I'll be having a serious conversation with my husband and he'll tap me on the head. He also is not a touchy feely person so I don't if this is his way of reaching out. I also want to deal with it now because I'm six months pregnant and have a six year old who is the opposite of him. I don't want him to feel like I prefer them over him but he really annoys me and I feel bad when I call him on it.

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So What Happened?

Hello Everyone,
It has been a while but I had a baby girl and am finally getting back into the swings of things. He has definitely gotten a lot better. At the moment that he is trying to be funny if it is not appropriate I stop and explain to him why it is not an appropriate time. I've also stopped telling him that he is annyoing me. He is actually very affectionate with his little sister and any time that he does something positive I give him praise and tell him how much I appreciate his help with his sister. He has in two occasions hugged me and for me that is a big deal. Thank you everyone for your advice.

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answers from San Francisco on

Get him involved in theater -- they always need boys to be stars. It might give him the outlet he needs. Maybe he'll be the next Jay Leno or David Letterman.

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answers from San Francisco on

He is just being a ten year old.... I wouldn't personalize his behavior too much. I already sympathize with him. He is probably just looking for attention he may not feel he is getting and now with another kid on the way, he will probably act up even more. Why not spend some quality time with him and see what's on his mind. Kids act out in many different ways, this is no different.. He will probably outgrow it, but I wouldn't break his comedic spirit too much. Maybe he is funnier than you think and since as you say , you are short on patience and stressed out, you don't get his humor. I would try and lighten up a bit.

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answers from Modesto on

Who has patience at 6 months pregnant with an over-energetic 10 yr old? :o)

Believe it or not, this is a normal "boy way" of reaching out to his mom for attention....boys are soooo DIFFERENT! They have these "noises" and these "mannerisms" that are so........well, so much a boy!

At 10, my oldest had already been "bugging me" for about 5yrs, so I had practice on how I dealt with him ;O) It takes ALOT of positive reinforcement with his personal successes to get him to "calm it down"....but it doesn't go away completely.

The "tapping on your head" part made me laugh.....my son used to make this 'swishing vavoom' noise with his mouth, then his hands would somehow become a Star Wars Jet or something....basically it would crash into my arm.....about 3 times a day! Everyday! For about 6 months! Drived me nuts! It would spill my coffee and everything....it was so 'weird" that it was funny to me. So, one day, I woke up with my "solution".....I was going to do it to him BEFORE he could do it to me.....I did. And, you should've seen the expression on his face! He didn't know whether to laugh, or be in shock....he asked me, "what was that for?" I said, "oh nothing, I was just trying to be like you"... :O) He laughed.... so, I did it a few more times "out of the blue" when he least expected it (in the middle of a video game is good).....we laughed together....he eventually stopped doing it....

Now, he's moved onto blowing in my face :O) At 13, he has NO IDEA how bad is breath can be either! I guess I have to blow in his face now....I don't know, this is too new still.

Seriously, J., if it's not one thing it's another....my youngest son isn't like this at all (yet), although he does have his quirks.

The more positive attention I give my 13yr old, the less he does these annoying boy things :O) He likes to play on our computer alot, so everytime he sits in our kitchen to play, I walk by and kiss him on the head :o) hug him, and tell him I love him.....because of this, he is LETTING me hug him more now, and ALMOST without asking, he puts his arms around me, too :O) So, finally, after 7 years, my not-so-affectionate boy is becoming affectionate. Yay! I am loving that right now :O)

You are dealing with a reaching out, of some sort. Maybe it's because of your new baby....honestly, I think it's just 'time' for him to act this way :O) Try to find ways in HIS life that you can be in....just like I did....I found "kisses on his head" while he was playing game. It took very little effort (only a conscious effort), and it is working.

Boys are funny....and annoying, yes. I don't know......I wouldn't trade that sweet face for anything, though :O)

Hang in there, J.!

~N. :O)

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Charleston on

All of the examples you have given are pretty clear indicators of a kid whom is craving some positive attention. The clowning, inappropriate humor, touching, etc. they are all ways of trying to get a rile out of you. Yes, some kids are a little on the ornery side, but you've got to remember that sometimes, negative attention is better then none at all. Kids pick up on things-he knows he annoys you probably. Be careful, he's at a real 'turning point' age-the age where "class clown" can easily turn into becoming sself destructive due to poor esteem. I know beause I totally was this kid, back in the day. My suggestion is that as hard as it may be, try praising him when he does little things, even if it's something little and stupid, just try showing him some love and positive attention.

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answers from Redding on

Dear J.,
You have your hands full, to be sure. And a new baby coming. Congratulations, by the way.

Little boys can be really annoying. I have lots of experience with this. I have a son and his friends have been part of our lives since they were babies. I love, love, LOVE them, but there have been days where if I had a last nerve left, they would have been tied up with it and locked in a closet.

Nobody likes that song....
Just like Rene said, my son went through a thing where it was "Your mom..."
If I said I like a song he would say, "Your MOM likes that song". One day I said, "Okay...now this is just getting irritating". He said, "Your MOM is getting irritating". I said, "Ummmm, my mom is your grandmother and I think I'll just call her to tell you you said so".
One day he said he was going to pour the milk out because it really stinks and I don't know why, but before even thinking I said, "Your MOM really stinks."
Then I said, "Hey wait! That would mean ME!" He thought that was the funniest thing ever. They grow out of that stuff. It's fun for a while and then they're on to something else.
That said, it sounds like your son is at an annoying age and it may be that he wants attention and doesn't know how to go about it. However, it doesn't matter if you are talking to your husband, or a neighbor, or the mailman or you are on the phone, the interrupting thing, in any form or fashion, is not acceptable. You won't destroy his self esteem by telling him that. Tell him it's not polite, it's distracting. If he really needs something, he can say excuse me, and ask "may I have (or do, or whatever it is). Even with the excuse me's, if you find he is interrupting for the sake of interrupting or just coming up with some random thing, you can say, "Thank you for saying excuse me, but this is something we can talk about when my conversation is done."
I raised my kids by myself and I tend to be pretty blunt, a little on the sarchastic side, but my kids knew that if they interrupted me, somebody BETTER be bleeding. It's not that I had no time to listen to my kids, but dang it, the minute I needed to behave like an adult civilized person was not the time for them to be bugging, nagging or poking me for attention. That was a no-no.
I had a client that used to call my agency and then tell ME to hold on while she sreamed at her kids. The louder her kids got, the louder she got. "Stop hitting your brother! I told you to get down off the table. Why did you just spill that on the floor?" That household was so loud that I literally held the phone as far as I could reach away from my ear and people sitting 5 feet away from me could hear it. One day I said that maybe she could call me back when she had things settled down. She said, "No, it's okay...this is just how my kids act everytime I need to make a phone call." I heard her screaming plenty, but never once did I hear her say, "Mom's on the phone! You will sit down and behave and I don't want to hear a peep out of you until I'm done." I have a friend who calls me and mostly I listen to her talk to her son. He's 12. He'll say, Mom, remember that rock I found on the beach on my second grade field trip? Where is it? Totally random.
Instead of saying she's on the phone and she will help when she's done, she will say, Did you check your shelf? Did you check your treasure box? Did you check your junk drawer or the basket in the laundry room? He'll be back every 30 seconds to report, it's not there and it's not there and it's not there. I don't want to sound rude or anything, but I'll say, Help your kid find his rock and when you have a minute to talk to me about whatever reason you called me for, we can talk then.
If you go to their house in person, that kid is flipping around on the floor and showing off. He reminds me of Stuart from MadTV. "Look what I can do".
He really is a good kid, but he feels regular attention isn't good enough. He wants to be the CENTER of attention at all times. They had a guy come out to give an estimate about remodeling one of the bathrooms and introduced him to everyone. The contractor shook hands with everyone and when he got to this kid, the boy said, "Pull my finger and see what happens." He would not leave them alone for 5 seconds to talk about the issue at hand. He should have been sent to his room.
I'm not saying your kid is bad or anything. But some of the stuff like "nobody likes that song" is likely just popping off or he's heard it somewhere else and finds it funny. I have a sense of humor and so do my kids, but they know when I am dead serious. Interrupting, never funny.
If you have a son with a sense of humor, that's a wonderful thing, but it's not that hard to teach them that there is funny time and NOT funny time. Your son is old enough to know the difference.
With a new baby coming, you need to let him know that you love him and his quirkiness is part of why you love him so much. But, there is a time and a place for it. He doesn't have to be naughty to be noticed because you notice this, this and this good thing about him. He doesn't have to be the center of attention. He doesn't have to go out of his way for people to realize what a great kid he is. You need to spend alone time, as much as you can, talking with him. "Poking me, interrupting me, distracting me isn't the best way to go for either of us. You're my first baby, you always will be and I love you so let's work on ways for you to tell me what you need and what makes you happy and let's work on you being the best person you can be."
Take him for a cup of hot chocolate somewhere, just the two of you and have a heart to heart.
Give him an outlet. Let him and his brother make up a play and say you'll make popcorn and watch the performance. Schedule it so they have time to prepare and just let them have fun. If his brother doesn't want to, then let him plan it himself. Undivided attention from the whole family. Give him a time each week to shine. No more interruptions or poking...schedule time for him to go for it when he gets to be the star. That shouldn't end when the new baby comes. Family night.
Your son is getting older and I hate to tell you but this most likely isn't even his awkward stage yet.
He will love you more for being honest with him. And let him be honest with you.

Best wishes!

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answers from San Francisco on

Don't feel bad about correcting that behavior. Saying "no one likes that song," isn't just inappropriate, it is rude. Same with interrupting you & your husband. He needs to learn that it is not acceptable to treat people that way. I don't know how you do discipline, but whatever it is, you need to be consistent in giving a consequence for rudeness. He is old enough to know the difference. It may take a very long time, but you will have a lot more peace if he learns to keep quiet if he doesn't have something nice to say. It may hurt his feelings in the short term, but he will have a whole lot more friends in the long run.

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answers from San Francisco on

Ha...Your description of your son's behavior reminds me of my boys. A lot of boys do the "saying the opposite" game, contradicting whatever is said. It's worse if they do it in the classroom--it really undermines the teacher.
Some of the responses make it sound like they think your son is not getting enough attention--but I think for some kids there is no amount that is "enough".
Also I know that my son sometimes does this sort of thing not so much for attention, but rather because he is uncomfortable ...when he isn't sure what to say or do. Like at a funeral, for example.
Maybe the serious conversation with your husband made him feel tense, or concerned that his parents were unhappy, and he was trying to make you laugh to lighten the mood?

My advice is to try to find ways to "PLAY" with him in a way that fits with his "clown" personality. What about a puppet? He can practice his act, and you can show him how YOU would express yourself in a funny but appropriate way. =)
But definitely teach him some appropriate methods and times to make people laugh, and reward him when he sticks to those methods or times.
He can tell jokes at the dinner table, for example, but not interrupt a conversation. He can be sarcastic, but not openly contradict.
Also, because you are pregnant, talk to him as if he were a grown up, like, "I am really tired and emotional because I am pregnant, so I might sometimes say or do things that I wouldn't normally do. Like I might get mad at you more easily, even if you are not doing anything really bad. It would really help me if you could help me to stay calm. Maybe you can listen to hear if I sound tired or stressed and just remind me that maybe I should take a rest for a little while. And if sometimes you see something around the house that needs to be done, maybe you can help out a little bit."
If he has more responsibility, he might feel special and stay busy, plus he may be paying more attention to you and pick up on your tone of voice or your facial expression, to know when you are unhappy or worn down.

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answers from San Francisco on

I think all boys that age are annoying! Okay, maybe not all, but I have a 9 year old step-son and he actually is very considerate, and touchy-feely but he still does annoying things all the time. It's probably age-appropriate. They haven't learned how to censor their behavior in various situations yet. You might find that your 6 year old is just as annoying when he is 9 or 10 as well. Or maybe not. If he does something that you think is inappropriate, tell him so. That's how kids learn. Also, is there someone around who is modeling annoying behavior? Sometimes my husband does annoying things blowing the wrapper off the top of a straw in a restaurant and then his son just copies him. In that case my issue is with my husband - because the child is just doing what he sees the adults doing. I loose patience because sometimes I feel like I have to model good behavior for both my husband and my step-son and that gets exhausting.

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answers from San Francisco on

I really find my 11 YO daughter annoying. It can be so exhausting to have a conversation with her. She's moody, obstinate and not very fun to be around. I have no solution I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and I'm glad to discover that I'm not either. I never thought I'd say this but boarding school's looking pretty go to me. Hang in there. M.



answers from San Francisco on

To all: In my opinion, we are wayyyy to concerned about "hurting feelings" We need to teach our children that some behavior is just absolutely not acceptable. Isn't he hurting your feelings when he makes the little smart aleck comments? He sounds like he is screaming in your face to get some sort of response, and guidance and parameters on behavior He has to grow up and belong to the whole word, where not so many people will worry about his feelings. It is your job (everyone) as parents, to teach your children about appropriate behavior, beginning at home. He is a child, you are the adult. His behavior is inappropriate. Reward him lavishly (maybe with special time with you) for good behavior, and send him to his room when he acts out.



answers from Chico on

I've been listening to the Parent Effectiveness Training stuff a lot lately. One of my favorite things from them is the reminder that parents have needs too and it's a gift to a child to teach them how to meet the needs of others. So here's my thought. Maybe it would be worth taking some time alone and list out the the troublesome behaviors. Then figure out what need of yours isn't being met when these behaviors occur (i.e. time to connect with your husband, kindness, patience, calm, etc). Then think about what alternative might be acceptable to you. Write down the sentence you'd like to have at the ready, when these behaviors pop up. "I feel... when I see... because..." P.E.T. suggests keeping the word "you" out of the equation because it's likely to breed defensiveness.

Then in a calm moment, share your concerns and invite him to help you solve the problem. It would be interesting to see what solutions he might be able to come up with. Then you add your ideas to the mix and decide to together how to solve the problem.

Best of luck. I can tell by the way you worded your post that you're a thoughtful and kind mom. Your kids are lucky to have such a great mom.



answers from San Francisco on

Hi J.,

Look into a wellness home. Creating a healthier environment in your home will change how you feel.

If you want more info let me know and I will send you to see what it is.

Have a great day.

N. Marie



answers from San Francisco on

I had forgotten that my son used to be like this. It was around that age, too. I don't know why he did those things and sometimes I lost my patience and snapped at him or was too harsh (KNOCK it OFF!!!). Then I felt awful and I'm sure he did too. He used to bug older kids, especially his older cousins by purposely annoying them relentlessly. He liked them a lot and I guess would get overly excited to see them and then not know how to handle himself. He eventually grew out of it. He is 15 now and although he still does the "being contrary" thing where if you say something like, "look, it's raining" he says, "no it isn't" but it doesn't bug me anymore. I guess we both grew out of whatever phase we were in at the time. HA!

You have a lot on your plate and you probably have more patience than you think. It will pass. Good luck with your pregnancy.



answers from San Francisco on

Dear J.,

If your child annoys you chances are he annoys others X 2 or more. Inappropriate responses from an adult or child need to be addressed. Fortunately, he’s still young enough to correct Easier with a kid then an annoying adult. If you don’t want a friendless child and future friendless adult, take action.

When he speaks back in a condescending manner (i.e. your like something and he says “no one likes that”), right then and there if there are others around, remove him from the scene and talk straight to him that it is rude and unkind to make such a remark and the next time he does it there will be consequences.

The next time he tries to get your attention, before he starts tapping your head, speak directly to him; “I’m talking to Dad now, when we are finished, you can ask your question. For now please go to your room (or what ever place you designate) and I will come and talk to you in a little while.

If he is successful in tapping you head, take his arm/hand, lead him to his room (or time out spot) and tell him, “You are not to try to get other people’s attention by touching and tapping”. When people are talking you may not interrupt, it is rude and you will be in trouble.

The same type of consequences should be given when he acts up at school. Keep close tabs with his teacher and let him know you love him, but he needs to be better behaved. He’s the oldest and you will need his cooperation more then ever.

Let’s face it we would all prefer a Wally Clever to an Eddie Haskel, even if we are not all Junes and Wards!




answers from San Francisco on

He's pretty typical. I'm not sure why the boys don't realize how annoying they are being. So different from the girls. My son, age 6 1/2 is making explosion noises all day long. We don't let him watch violent shows, movies or video games, he just picked this up from school mates. He loves antagonizing his sister for attention too. His playdates act even more annoying, to the point of being rude...but they don't even recognize that their behavior is irritating. I don't hesitate to tell them how annoying their behavior is. The only thing that seems to work is to distract them with a new activity. Tell him how his behavior makes you feel and that you'd much prefer to spend time interacting with him if he can quit the annoying behavior. Good luck



answers from Salinas on

This is his way of getting attention. He misses you. He'll take any attention he can get, good or bad. One way to combat some of his inappropriate behavior is to tell him just that--"When I'm having a conversation with your father, it's inappropriate to interrupt the way you did. Try saying 'excuse me' next time you need to talk to me when I'm talking to someone else. That's the polite way to interrupt when you need something" Also, when he says things like"no one likes that song" try responding gently with something along these lines: "Well, I like that song and I'm someone. That hurt my feelings when you said that. It wasn't a very nice thing to say. Did you mean to hurt my feelings?" Remember that when you ask yes/no questions the answer could be either. Be prepared. He might have meant to hurt your feelings if he himself feels neglected. If he answers yes, that opens the door for a good one on one conversation. Keep an open mind. It's perfectly normal and acceptable to have an adjustment period when there is a new baby on the way. If he misses you enough to want to get your attention by hurting your feelings, it may be time to schedule some one-on-one time with just your ten-year-old, doing something fun for him and you. Maybe go bowling or to a movie or go for ice cream--even having him teach you how to play his favorite video game. Think of it like when you were interested in your first love. Be interested in what he's interested in. The main thing to remember with approaching a child of this age is to be gentle but firm in defining the behaviors you will allow and which are inappropriate. Remind him every time he does something he's not supposed to do, but don't make it an accusatory reminder. "Remember we talked about how to interrupt politely? How do we do that?" And that patience you were talking about? It takes practice.



answers from Chico on

It's hard to say for sure, without knowing your son, but, this sounds completely normal to me. There are many different personality types, and a 'clown' is one of them. :) My oldest happens to be our clown. I love him dearly, but sometimes.......... (sigh)

Anyway, I wouldn't stifle it. It may just be part of his personality, and he's only a kid. Kids find things funny that we used to. For some reason, when we turn into parents we forget to laugh at stupid things. :) Not all children will fall into the 'ok, sit down, look pretty, and shut-up' box.

About the 'no one likes that song' comment - - My oldest has picked up a 'your face' line (and he uses is ALL the time!) :) If someone will say something like, 'I like that song', he will say, 'Your face likes that song'. It also used to annoy me, but now, I've learned to add to the 'your face' jokes, and now my son thinks I'm pretty funny. :) Also, now when I say, 'ok, it's time to be serious', he will stop doing it.

As far as the tapping on the head - - Kids don't fully understand the 'serious conversation' thing. So, he may just see you're not happy, and he's trying to cheer you up. Or, he could be trying to divert your attention to him. Also, he could just be bored and/or just be being himself.

I would think that the best thing to do is to laugh with him. And, calmly let him know that there are certain times when it's ok and certain times when he HAS to stop.

On another note - - my boys are now 15, 10, and 8. It seems that both my 15 yr old and my 10 yr old went through a 'phase' where I really was annoyed by them. It happened somewhere around 8 or 9 and lasted until about 10 or 11 (my 10 year old is leaving the 'phase' now). Not sure exactly what it was, but my sister said she went through the same thing with her 3 boys. My 8 year old seems to be entering that 'phase' now. :) Just know that, if this is the case, it will pass and you'll love him even more than you did before it began. :)

Congratulations on your new little girl! :)

Just remember that life only has to be as serious as you make it. :) Maybe that stressful job should go. There are many legitimate work from home opportunities. Quite a few of them can be found at CWHAM.com - or you can do a search under 'work from home' for 'work from home moms' (look out, though, cuz some are not so great) I work with 2 different at-home opportunities. One has to do with healthier/safer alternatives to our everyday products - you help sign up customers for the company - no selling involved - www.homewithmy4.com
The other is for an infomercial company that sells workout dvd's - this one you sell the products for the company, but the company actually takes the orders, payments, and ships the products - so you don't need to physically have the products. Makes it really simple. www.BeachBodyAtHome.com
There are MANY other ones that I looked into, but these 2 seemed to be the easiest for a mom to fit into a busy schedule - and the ones that just made the most sense.

Didn't mean to make this a plug for working at home, but, stress is an aweful thing - and you definitely should be enjoying your wonderful family and your current pregnancy rather than stressing on someone elses company. :(

Hang in there. :) You're concern shows that you are an awesome mom! Oh, and if your son is not a touchy feely kid, you can show him love by reading to him at night (my 10 year old loves the 'Merlin' series and also 'Charlie Bone'. 'Charlie Bone' is a good series to read at night - not too descriptive so its easy to follow, and easy to read for tired moms. :) Or even, just by tickling him when he does one of his 'dorky' things. :)

I hope something here helps :) Have fun with your family. :)


answers from San Francisco on

Your story sounds very familiar to me. I also have three children ages 16, 14 and 4. The 16 and 4 year olds are easy, well mannered, considerate and obedient. The 14 year old, however, has been a challenge for me since day one. He not only is extremely annoying to me, he also has difficulty making or maintaining friendships because he is so incredibly annoying to his peers. Adults love him because he is articulate, intelligent and extremely engaging but when it comes to his peer relationships he has to be the loudest in the group, loves to argue for the sake of arguing and feels he needs to get any and all available attention, regardless of if it's good or bad. He makes up stories to sound important and constantly butts into other peoples conversations. In fact, because I am constantly dealing with him and his behavior, I often don't have time or energy to deal with my other two kids.

When he was around 10 I began to realize that although I love my child, I really didn't feel as though I liked him much of the time. I understood why he had no friends because if I were his age, I wouldn’t be his friend either. I was ashamed to admit that to anyone until I heard a therapist say that many mother's feel that way about their children at some point or another, but that it will pass and I will not remember these negative feelings when he is older and our relationship has grown. Whew, that was a relief!

At 13, we decided to get our son tested extensively and discovered that he has ADHD, as well as a reading disability. This explains some of his classroom behavior. We then placed him into social group therapy where he meets with other similarly behaving teens once per week and they work on social skills and try to figure out why they are so annoying to others and how to correct that. Things have gotten much better now, even though he has yet to have a buddy call and invite him over. He doesn't realize he has no friends though (or perhaps doesn't WANT to realize), and claims he is very popular, but that is simply not the case. It has been a very long, frustrating journey, but I see hope on the horizon. So please, try to hang in there. And don't take too personally people's judgments on your parenting skills or others insinuating that you suck as a mom because they are so great and their kids are astronauts...only you know what goes on in your home and the amount of stress you are under. Just take one day at a time and perhaps try to determine if there is more going on with your son (ie: medically). But above all remember that it DOES get better, that it is not uncommon to prefer NOT to be around your child at times, and that someday this too shall pass!

Good luck!



answers from San Francisco on

Hello J.,
I have to say that as a mother of 5, and having been a foster parent. I find it surprizing how you expressed things about your son.
Surprize Mom, but your son is your full time job not a part time one. The other job is just a job it isn't something no matter how great or important that is worth more than your children and family. I have run my own business, worked for others made and lost money but nothing I have ever done will compare to the work that I do in my own home. I look at children as my future leaders and your son has the attitude of most elected officals so he has a head start!!
You could loose the other things in a flash but your son will be with you hopefully for years to come and believe me as the mother of 5 the children know when a parent plays fair and favorites.
At age 10, he is changing hormonely and emotionas are all over the page. It is the same with girls- actually I think it was worse with my daughters-- so good luck there! Of course he is going to be odd and awkward it is a time for being all arms and legs and the body and the mind by passing one another. It is also a time to look to his peers and decide betweenthem and his parents so the fact that he is interacting with you - you should be grateful not all little boys are at that age. He wants and needs his mothers heart, time and tell him that ouadore him once in a while and you might be surprized at how it effects him. By the time one of my sons was 10, that adventureous soul would leave me notes saying he's taken his bike and wanted to go for a 5 mile ride NOW HE did't bother to tell me with who and where so ofcourse I'd worry. I had one son that makes Tom Sawyer, look easy.He's organize the entire neighborhood to do something like the great dig to China! I got to plant a tree in that hole. Boys are loving in ways as they grow up that a girls just isn't becasue a son will always ask his mother's advice or judgement but as my daughters proved they knew it all and we would butt heads on things that were really dumb like the song I liked.
Don't get me wrong I am very close with all of my children but hands down I'll take an adventuous, emotional boy over a girl that can roll her eyes heavenward and sigh and out do Elizabeth Taylor, Nicloe Kidman and Raven all at once! I have appreciated seeing my children develope into the men and women they want to become and with my pushing them? they have done great so far. I wish you & your son luck. Parenthood is more adventurous than any theme park ride so hold on and just love them. Nana Glenda



answers from San Francisco on

It's okay, My 10 year old son annoys me a lot but I do not wanna call him stupid or anything so 1. I tell him stop and he does it again I will take away his favorite toy and if he says he hates you so I would rather you hate me than be a bad child. 2. He might be feeling left out if you are six months pregnant and have a six year old boy/girl so my son has a little sister and sometimes I take him out some where alone to have fun. I am also 7 months pregnant with my baby girl so he is really annoyed by that and thats why he annoys me. 3. At times you can have a little fun with him and just listen to the things he has to say. So thats all,If you wanna private chat because you like my answer I am 22 and my name is June 17 but I will change it to my real name which is Tami but It really is T.. Thank you!!


answers from Sacramento on

If my memory is correct, that is about the time my boys became annoying. It is an age thing. Pre-puberty and they get extremely goofy and think they have a future as a stand up comedian with their one liners. I remember feeling very frustrated and had to bite my tongue and be careful not to lash out.

On a positive note, it is just a phase and he will outgrow it. Try to relax a little and let him be his goofy self. I don't mean relax your boundaries or anything like that, just let those wisecracks roll off your back and maybe be a little goofy yourself.

Don't worry, this too shall pass....




answers from San Francisco on

You have gotten lots of good advice.

I believe you can help him to adjust/change his behavior without damaging his self-esteem. Just be matter-of-fact, but try to keep the annoyance out of your voice.

I think you may be correct in thinking this is his way of reaching out.

Are you sure he's not touchy-feely? I've known moms who weren't physically affectionate to their child if he didn't seem to want it, but my personal belief is that kids always want physical affection, even when they struggle against it.


answers from Fresno on

I think part of our job as moms is to help our kids understand acceptable behavior. How will they know if we don't tell them? My daughter is 7 and a fantastic kid, but she tends to talk NON STOP. I've had the talk with her that she needs to wait for adults to engage her in conversation before she just starts talking their ear off on some random topic. She was genuinely surprised to learn this, and has been working on it. It's not that I told her never to talk, but I just said that "some people" don't always know how to talk to kids, and she runs the risk of annoying them if she doesn't notice how they are reacting - and that she needs to pause for a breath to let them talk too - and Listen to what they're saying!

I guess what I'm saying is this. Sure, your child is who he is, but when he leaves your house, he's a reflection of you, and if he's representing your family badly, then you should help him understand the correct behavior. It will help his self-esteem in the long run if he can be his quirky self WITHIN normal societal boundaries. I used to work with a guy who would put whoopee cushions on people's chairs (in the office!) And nobody liked him. He was laid off eventually and nobody was sorry. If his parents had helped him channel his sense of humor in an appropriate way, I think his adult life would have been easier.



answers from San Francisco on

Is he gifted? Does he have trouble making friends? Does he need a psychiatrist? Is he the family scapgoat? Or, is he discouraged? I feel for you; I've been annoyed myself. I thought the book Positive Discipline was helpful. It's a guide to family meetings that end with games, a dessert, and a plan to do something fun with the family. When there's a problem there's a plan in effect. The child knows he/she will go to their room where they may nap or read, etc. (agreed upon). When the misconduct surfaces you say, "You're not feeling well. You may go to your room until you feel better." No talk then, only later. Also, Mom/Dad has the bathroom set up for a getaway (book to read/magazine/). When you can't take it you disappear for a while....The school teacher would go and sit at her desk and start reading her book. The class now desperately wants her back...
Try agreeing with your son. "I know, really, I must be the only person to like that ridiculous song!" He may be terribly jealous of the younger son/brother. It' hard to treat them fairly/equally. They sense your favorite. Think of it as having twins and take turns with the conversation, try to spend alone time with each even if only for a short while. Maybe he could read aloud to the baby from a book you both enjoy. Perhaps he can do that in a way that doesn't annoy you and can make him sort of bond with the baby when you praise him for his support....Good luck. It's hard to keep up with the family meetings, but they were popular.
Good luck!!!!

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