I Just Want to Rant a Bit. Why Do People Ask Stupid Questons?

Updated on January 06, 2011
E.G. asks from Clinton, MS
26 answers

I just really want to rant a bit. I just had a baby 8months ago and have been on a diet. I know I gained some weight and it is mostly in my stomach. I am in a size 14 and am working on losing the weight. But while I am at work people keep asking me, complete strangers, when is your baby due?, or Oh are you pregnant? I never do that out of fear I might hurt someone's feelings. So why is it ok for these complete stangers to keep asking this. OK I am fat please leave me alone. There are other fat people out there that don't get asked on a weekly basis!

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answers from Pittsburgh on

Here's the reason: people are idiots!

Just say "Oh..no...I had the baby but kept the fat." Then stare them in the eye and watch them squirm and sweat. It will be fun!

9 moms found this helpful


answers from Fort Walton Beach on

People can be so clueless/snarky/rude. Next time you could just give them a huge smile & say, "I'm not pregnant but thanks sooo much for assuming I have a sex life!" That should hush them up pretty quick! Sorry you are dealing with this.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

The only way to correcd that type of behavior in people that are THAT rude, is to make them feel like a complete jacka** for asking.
It never fails to amaze me why people think it's OK to ask anyone that kind of question.
Next time someone asks you, just say "I'm not pregnant" and stare back at them until they are forced to respond.

While I was pregnant, whenever someone asked me how much weight I'd gained, I ask responded with "how much weight have YOU gained?". I promise, they'll never ask anyone that question again.
Sometimes, being polite or embarrassed just isn't the way to go.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this!

4 moms found this helpful

More Answers



answers from Stockton on

I was at a wedding holding my 3wk old son when a lady asked me how far apart they would be. I pointed out to her that the baby was only 3wks old and she said, 'don't worry dear, you'll lose the weight', I sooo wanted to tell her I will lose the weight but she'll always be stupid.
I forgot to tell you I made the mistake myself when I saw a woman wearing a maternity top (I know it was maternity b/c I owned the same one!) Never again! I felt awful!

6 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

Okay.... I had 2 kids.
I gained weight, like any woman.
BUT... due to both my pregnancies... I have what is called "Diastasis." This is when the abdominal wall... splits or has a separation. And, the tummy will still bulge.... like as though pregnant.
You can look up Diastasis online.

People, have asked me if I was pregnant. I just laugh and say NO... I already had my kids. STRANGERS have asked me that.....

For me though, it does not bother me. Whatever.
Sure, I am not svelte like how I was before having kids. But I am not bothered by that.
I am not one of those woman, who look like a stick after having a baby.
I am rounded. Now. So be it.

all the best,

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

Em - you are SOOO NOT FAT!!! A size 14 is the typical size of a W.!!
Sweet mother of God!!

DO NOT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF!!! Do not let society dictate how you should look.

I too got these questions when my body went TOTALLY whacked - I told them "I'm not pregnant - just fat. Thanks for pointing that out!" and that shut them up really fast.

If you want to be snarky about it - ask them why they are so rude? I know - not the most PC way to handle it - but really?! Tell them to go pound sand. DO NOT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF!!

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Boise on

Because people love to talk about babies and don't think.

I had twins and about a month after, had a lady ask me when I was due.

Also, when the twins were babies, it took me hours to go grocery shopping because people would stop and ask me about the twins. In the parking lot, people would slow their cars down and rubberneck at my twins.

I think that if you have a dog or a baby, the social walls come down and people feel that they are free to talk to you. But without those two in hand, if you look pregnant, same thing.

Edit: In defense of lilpiggitoes. She meant to put quotes in that said, do you want them to say, "You're fat. Lose the baby weight." I think. As in, would you prefer people to ask when you are due or to tell you flat out to your face that you are fat. I think people are misreading her post.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

you say "i'm fat, but you're ugly, and I can diet". Just kidding....sort of...I'm 5'10 and weigh 280. I don't care what people say or think. I'm beautiful and I know it and my family loves me and I don't care so bite me. Keep doing what you're doing and try not to worry about it. :)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

The first time I asked that question, I was probably about 15-years old and it turned out that the woman that I had asked actually had a tumor in her stomach that actually needed to be treated. Learned my lesson and didn't ask that question again until . . .

20 years later, I'm at a new job and there's a secretary at work who looks like she could be about 5 to 6 months pregnant. Now, because of my prior experience, I knew better than to ask her anything about being pregnant until one morning when we were both at the copy machine and I noticed her rubbing her tummy in a gentle circle much like a lot of other pregnant women do. So I dared to ask. Big mistake! She had actually lost her baby several months prior. I felt like such an idiot and so insenstive. So, needless to say, I have learned my lesson never to ask a woman if she is pregnant even if she is rubbing her tummy in a maternal fashion.

Maybe the people who are asking you if you are pregnant have similar learning curves to overcome. It should be noted that both times I asked these women about their being pregnant, I was just trying to be nice and make conversation.

I hope that my experience can give you a good chuckle at my expense. Good luck on getting your figure back!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

It takes a full 40wks to put on all that weight. It usually takes twice that time to get it all off. You're doin fine. People are idiots and have no filter.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

Because people are just plain dumb lol and i would tell them hey i am not pg i just had a baby and quit asking me this. So i havent lost all my baby fat yet big deal... And set them straight then maybe they will quit asking.. Best wishes... btw good job on losing what u have an 8 month old and in size 14 is pretty good..

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Charlotte on

I love your remark "OK I am fat please leave me alone"! Once you have told them you had the baby already, I wouldn't blame you one bit if you said that to them! It will be the last time they say that to anyone!

I learned that the hard way too when I saw a friend for the first time in two years. She had married her live-in boyfriend, and she looked pregnant. I was so embarrassed. I never did it again, whew!


2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I think any questions about someone's appearance are rude - unless TOTALLY a compliment. Even then though, if you tell someone they look fabulous - there seems to be some sort of implication that they previously didn't. If you tell someone, "Wow you've lost weight", it also says, you had weight to lose.

I'm sorry that people are making you feel badly. THEY are insensitive. THEY could use a quick reply like, "I've already had my baby, thanks for asking!" With a big ol' happy smile. Make them feel stupid.

I actually had the opposite thing happen. I saw a woman I know, but don't see often and we got chatting. She made some comment about being pregnant and I think she caught the look of surprise on my face. She was more than 7 mos along and I had no idea. I felt badly for not knowing, however she's always been "big" and was wearing a sweatshirt.

Try to deal with people's stupid questions in stride. I don't think most people are trying to be mean. I think they are just trying to show interest.

Best wishes

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

that happened to me once, a few months after i had my first daughter, i was back to skinny again except for the smallest pooch in my lower tummy, the pooch that is hard to get rid of. I was floored!, and even this persons friends were berating him for asking such a silly question to a girl obviously not pregnant but obviously had given birth recently, lol.

but now that im chubby all over after my second baby, i never get asked that.

thank GOD

oh and just to correct a previous poster, size 14 is actually our nations average for a woman over 25. So technically its not exactly plus size., I know im being a stickler for details.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

people sometimes just have nervous chatter. i dont think most people mean to be rude. just be gracious. i gained a lot of weight with my first child i went from 126lb to 180lb. anyhow people asked me constantly how many kids i was carrying. i just laughed it off ...most of the time. i could not stand complete strangers pushing their hands into my stomach. hang in there.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Milwaukee on

I had to argue w/ a co-worker (that I didn't even know!) and convince him that I wasn't keeping a secret pregnancy and was just fat. I keep my weight in my stomach. People should just keep their mouths shut.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I totally agree--- I remember when a family friend or so I thought came up to me and congratulated me on doing such a wonderful thing-- I was confused about what she was talking about-- we she saw my 8 mos pregnant body and said---oh, I just assumed you were a surragate for someone, your the type--. I was soooo mad! I was pregnant with my child, who me and my husband wanted! She assumed I was doing a surgagacy for $$ and whatever---I told her off and said how dare her assume that! No offense to anyone who has done that-I think its wonderful-but this was my first baby who my husband and I had been wanting and were soooo excited about him and for her to say that just really pissed me off and hurt me. So, I totally hear you on the comments about your body looking pregnant etc. I know it hurts. Try to ignore the comments. Best wishes to you----


2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Wow I really thought most people knew better than that.

When I got pregnant, even people I worked with every day didn't say anything until I told them, sometimes 6 months into it, *just in case* I wasn't really pregnant.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Asheville on

I was plus size before I got pregnant and of course everything shifted downward after the twins were born. I got asked when i was due a few weeks ago. I shut them up with my answer: "Two and a half years ago"!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Cleveland on

I agree, people ask STUPID questions. I have seen women with very round, hard bellies and would NEVER ask if they were pregnant because you just never know. I am sorry people are being so unthinking and insensitive to you.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

Ignore lilpiggietoes. How rude and so not helpful!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

I am 8 months pregnant and people still hesitate to ask me when I'm due. The few people left at my work who don't know have literally told me that they asked someone else first to make sure before they asked me. You must have a lot of ignorant people around you all day cause that's just dumb.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Gosh I get that all the time - I have a really big belly for some reason, and people say, when is it due - HOW STUPID!!! you should never ask someone unless you know 100% that they are pregnant - it hurts my feelings.
littlepiggietoes or whatever their name is is one of the stupid ones

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Houston on

find a heres your sign answer if its a man say about the same time yours is or even if its an unpregnant woman. or if they ask if you are pregnant say well are you???? remeber stupid is as stupid does

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Cincinnati on

size 14 is on the plus size, but its the smallest plus size there is so i dont see how people would think you are pregnant. i wanted to edit since i am being corrected on saying 14 is a plus size...yes it is, the harsh truth is that america is getting fatter. i have two pairs of pants from about 5 yrs ago that are from the plus size section which starts at 14 now 14 is in some stores considered an xl or even just a large. i have worn every size of pants from size 28 (my high school size) to a size 4 (my pre pregnancy size) and 14 are mostly found in plus size...4 yrs ago the average size was 10-12

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Grand Forks on

hey girl, there might be other people that don't get asked if they're prego on a weekly basis....but girl, i get asked at least once/week my damn self! i hate it! i'm a size 16 and for now just fine w/that, plus it's nobody's business. that sh*t drives me crazy! i'm sorry you're experiencing this b.s. too but you are by far not alone! at least you're trying to lose weight & soon this won't even be an issue. but it still sorta pisses me off people ask me b/c just b/c i haven't lost my baby weight doesn't mean i'm even trippin on that, y'know? anyway, sorry girl. good luck losing weight - it sucks.

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