I Have Twins and No Sleep Any Advice

Updated on February 08, 2008
J.E. asks from Renton, WA
18 answers

I have 15 month old twins and they still wake in the middle of the night for a bottle, I have tried to let them cry, but they are in the same room and can't let them cry to long without waking the other one. I have tried letting them sleep in seperate rooms and that was h*** o* them. Is anyone having this same problem? Any advice?

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K.P.

answers from Spokane on

When my twins were taht age we had the same problem. We stopped giving them formula in the bottles and just gave them water. Then we bought the book the sleep ladies guide to a better nights sleep. It has a whole chapter on twins.

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D.D.

answers from Seattle on

I would suggest giving them more food at supper time. Also, try feeding them more solid food helps keep their tummies full longer. Maybe the one doing the crying needs more food than the other one.

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B.W.

answers from Seattle on

I don't really have any advice for you but I do feel your pain...My b/g twins will be one on the 18th and still wake to nurse in the middle of the night...my son doesn't have a problem waking up when sister cries but it doesn't work the other way around! I am just glad they don't tend to wake at the same time! I hope you find something that works for your little ones!

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L.R.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.--
I have twins who are now six. I remember well the nights of no sleep. We let them cry it out as much as possible. Do you know if they are really hungry or if they just are looking for that feeling of sucking on something. I don't know if you use binkis at all, but that's what helped us out.

If you're wanting to let them cry it out, decide how long you can handle it for. Say 10 minutes. Then go in, let them know you are still there, rub their backs for a minute, and then leave.

Ultimately you need to do what you feel comfortable with. This is what worked for us, but it took a while. It's, unfortunately, not a magic wand. Eventually things get better and the crying time decreases.

I'll say an extra prayer for your family.

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E.S.

answers from Eugene on

You sure do have your hands full. When I had my twin boys my older son was 6. I know people say just let tham cry. At night I never did because then I knew That it would just get them worked up even more then I really wouldn't get any sleep. Ialways brought tham to bed with me and fed them maybe played a few min. They always went back to their cribs after all of that. Try and take a nap during tha day when thay sleep, I am sure you do that. Jusy remember it will get better.My twins are 9 now and it's a peice of cake. I think 4yrs-6yrs was the hardest, when they reach that age you will look back on this and think...wow it wasn't so bad. Does your husband or whom ever help at night? If they don't they should.
If you want to talk ____@____.com bye for now
E.

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G.T.

answers from Portland on

I didn't have twin but did have a fitful child. I kept a tape play (you might have a CD player) in his room. When he woke up in the middle of the night I would put on a tape of soothing lullaby music. It seemed to help him relax so he could fall back to sleep.

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J.O.

answers from Seattle on

my sympathy!

I have two kids in the same room, so I can relate.

Know that there is no reason hunger wise to wake up - try giving a water bottle or sippy and reassure them and give them their lovey. Picking them up is dangerous as it gives them something to look forward to. try to pat, sooth and cuddle from the side.

know that there are several sleep cycles /night and they are waking after one of them probably.

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J.F.

answers from Seattle on

I have 9 year identicle twin boys, and I know you cannot separate them, and you cannot let them cry too long. Its a hard period of twin-mommy-hood and it didnt get better until they were 4 years old.... I was a zombie.

HOWEVER, I found that my twins had sleep apnea and could not breath well, woke up a lot and that lack of sleep make them bad sleepers, and grumpy.... I had their tonsils out and it was like I got new children.

See your pediatrician. Mine was soooo wonderful, she really listened and gave lots of good advice. Good luck sweetie.

J.
Everett, WA

____@____.com

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

Slowly start to water down that bottle of milk until it is nothing but a bottle of water. Soon after that, it will lose it's appeal. Once it is water, you can even leave it in the crib for them to silently find on their own. If they protest to the change, then dilute it more gradually. It should only take a couple weeks.

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J.V.

answers from Seattle on

J., I have 2 1/2 year old boy/girl twins. My daughter didn't have a problem sleeping through the night early on but my son did. What worked for me was making sure he was full before bed even if I had to give him a snack after supper and then I would only give him water in his bottle during the night. when he realized that was all he was going to get he stopped waking up. At this age it is more of a habit than a need. sometimes it's only a need to suck on something. Have you tried a binky? good luck. J., mom of five

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J.B.

answers from Anchorage on

I do not have twins. However, I have two boys that are 13mos. apart. So, I do feel you. They both did not sleep threw the night until after they were 2yrs. old. I tried everything, music for comfort, television. I did give them security blankets when they began to give me trouble at naps and bedtime, this did and still does soothe them. I have heard giving them a blanket or pillow that is their favorite, and keeping it with them at each sleep time can help them become more comfortable with the detachment period from the parent. With the older of the two boys, it really helped! Oh another thing, is to start the bedtime routine earlier, not later. When my boys become over tired they usually will wake at night, even still that they are 3 and 4.

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M.P.

answers from Spokane on

Hi J.,

I don't have twins, but kids 7 mos apart (adopted :0). We've had similar issues ~ we DID move them into separate bedrooms though. It was a tough transition, but worth it as A could sleep better. P is almost 5 now and still wakes up in the middle of the night. He has never slept well, we've tried just about everything.

Try waking them up at a certain time - I know you're thinking I'm stark raving crazy at the moment, but just a second. Do they have a reg schedule that they wake on? A wakes around 2, while B wakes around 4. For example, wake them both (or whoever is the primary) for a bottle around 1:30, then keep bumping it up by 5-10 minutes each night. Instead of you being up two separate times, you'll be up once and you should be able to gradually train them to not wake up until early morning, which I hope would help.

Good luck and God Bless!

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K.G.

answers from Portland on

I agree with the previous poster. Children's schedules are food driven too, so as much as it may be hard for a few nights you HAVE to stop the nighttime feedings (unless of course they need them and your healthcare professional has recommended them to continue) Get them on a fairly structured daytime eat, play, sleep routine and nightime will follow. Are they taking one or two naps? What time do you put them down? My schedule for my 25 month old son is as follows (and has been for quite some time):

6:45-7:15 up for day
7:30 juice/milk banana
8-8:30 breakfast with sister
play
10-10:30 small snack
play
11:45-12 lunch
play-take sister to school
1pm nap
2:45-3 up from nap get sister from school
snack
play
brush book bed 7:15-7:45

Hope that gives you a little guidance. My son was a terrible sleeper until I got consistant. Now he goes down easy and stays down. If he does stir it is only for a moment and I rarely have to go in his room. Best of luck!

OH I forgot to say implement LOVEYS. My Son has two and they are very important to him and his sleep!

-K

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R.T.

answers from Portland on

I have almost 15 month old BBB triplets. One of them did have a hard time sleeping through the night and I would get him up and give him a bottle so he wouldn't wake the other two. Finally, on a weekend when I knew I would have help with my husband, I just let him cry and if he woke up the other boys I would let them cry. He did cry for about an hour one night, the next night a half hour and the next night he didn't wake up until the morning. I know it doesn't work this way with everyone. I know I also gave him water from a sippy cup and he didn't want that so I gave him water from a bottle and I think that is what also helped him. He decided it wasn't worth it to wake up just for water! I think his biggest problem was his teeth though. I hope this has helped and if you have any other questions let me know. A book that was helpful for me was Baby Wise. It helped me get my boys on a routine and life is so much easier.

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E.D.

answers from Portland on

I think the best bet is to work on getting rid of the middle of the night feeding. No feeding, no waking up, no crying. :-)

With my twins, I started with making their last evening bottle later, and their morning bottle earlier, so the time between the two feedings was shorter. If you do still need to provide a nighttime feeding, try lessing the amount in the bottle a little bit each time. Then you can just phase it out that way.

Do you think they wake up because they are actually hungry, or is it maybe just becoming a comforting habit? Can you just give a little water in the late night bottle?

Are they good eaters? If you move dinner slightly later, and then the evening bottle later, they may not even feel hungry in the night.

You don't say if they take any other bottles throughout the day, or if this is the only one. I weaned my twins from the bottle by cutting back on the daytime bottles first, then the midnight one, then the early morning one went last. So, it eventually went: very early morning bottle (~5 or 6am), then breakfast(~9am), then lunch(~11:30), then snack(~2:30), then dinner(~5:30). To get rid of that last am bottle, I had to get up early and feed them breakfast at the old bottle time. That was really hard for me, but that's how it worked for us. Eventually, I was able to move breakfast back to a more sane hour.

Sorry if this is confusing. To state it more simply, if you can figure out if the kids are taking enough food during the day, then you can decide if the night waking is from hunger, or just out of habit. If it's habit, try using something else to provide comfort instead of a bottle. But eventually you'll have to stop that, too. They've got to learn how to self-soothe when they wake up in the night.

I found the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to be very useful. You don't have to read it cover-to cover, just find the age-appropriate chapter for suggestions. It is more humane than a lot of the other books on getting kids to sleep,too.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Seattle on

HI, I have 4 year old twin girls. I'm feelin ya on the no sleep thing. When my girls were this age and I wanted to wean them off of the nighttime feedings I let them sleep with a sippy cup full of water. That way I didn't have to worry about the teeth issues, and they got something to soothe/fill them up and back to sleep. I also agree with the structure idea. Once I had a routine and kept to it every night it was much easier. When/if you do have to go back into their room, just give them their sippy and tell them it's night night time. Make sure and whisper. After doing this a few nights, then just go in and shhhhh and give them their sippy without talking. Soon you won't have to go in at all. That's how I did it anyway. I personally don't do loveys. I don't like to give my kids something they are dependent on. I want them to be able to go to sleep without freaking out cause we can't find something. BUT, if that works for you then go for it. Sometimes it's whatever keeps you sane in the moment!! :) I hope this helps. If you have any other questions or just need a MOM (mom of multiples) :) to vent to please feel free to email me. My email is sarrieab at yahoo dot com. :)

S.

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S.P.

answers from Portland on

Hi there,

I found this link and thought it be of some help. I myself am a new mom and I can only imagine how difficult this must be! But there is a solution out there that is best for you and your family.

Good luck!!

~S.

http://www.naturallynurturing.co.uk/sleep.html

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L.C.

answers from Portland on

Hi, I have 5 year old b/g twins and sleeping through the night was one of my missions when they were younger. It is so important for you to get your sleep, but also for them too. At 15 months they should not need a bottle. But I know it is a lot easier than said when changing such an addictive behaviour (our strugle was the binkies). Perhaps trying to have one less ounce in the bottle a night. Make sure they are well fed in the evening and haven't slept too late in their afternoon nap. Then stick to a plan of letting them cry it out. They will be okay. I moved my twins out of the same room at about 10 months. They ended up doing fine with it. It was kind of nice for them, to have their own space. Still do this day outside of bedtime, they spend 24/7 with eachother. No matter how good anyone gets a long, a little break is healthy. They are super close at age 5 and have been all along. They finish eachother's sentances, play elaborate make believe games together and take great concern when the other is hurt or w/out something. Seperating them into different rooms has not changed their closeness (in fact it could have improved it). They are actually snuggling on the couch right now together.

Good luck and stay strong, sleep is so important for everyone.

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