I HATE Being Pregnant.

Updated on September 23, 2008
S.S. asks from Bountiful, UT
47 answers

I am 16 weeks pregnant with my third child. I feel so lucky to be able to bring a child into this world especially since child #2 took 5 years but here's the problem...I absolutely hate being pregnant. I am sick almost 24/7. I am gaining weight so my Dr. won't give me anything to stop the sickness. I am only 16 weeks but am showing like I am six months. My back hurts all the time. I have a lot of pain in my uterus and am basically completely miserable. Am I terrible to feel this way? I know first hand how hard it is to wish to be pregnant and not be, so I am grateful I get to have a baby. What can I do? I am dreading another 24 weeks of this.

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

Oh, I understand I never stopped getting sick with my second. I remeber changing my one year olds diapers in the bath tub so I could yack in the toilet and was her bottom with water as I couldn't stand using wipes. I used zofranas I couldn't even function somedays to take care of my other child. Crackers, Gatoraide, and even one coke a day is what I had. Fig newons seemed to be okay too. Oh, and avacado for some reason, I guess the fats where heavy enough. and don't move unless you have to (I ended up on bed rest anyway.)

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C.B.

answers from Denver on

Each pregnancy is different. I was sick until 5 months with one of mine. My mother-in-law was sick though her entire pregnancy with one.

The uterine pain has to do with your muscles rebeling against another stretch. I had that along with the back pain and my back still bothers me (youngest 16).

Try to exercise a little to strengthen your back and body. Water class will help! Even a walk everyday will get you out and help.
C. B

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C.A.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Won't your doctor give you anything for the nausea at all? That seems strange. I gained a lot of weight at first as well, then hardly anything until the last month, but I think it was because up until then, I wasn't keeping anything down, so it must have just been water retention. When I was prescribed Zofran for nausea, it was at least bearable.

I wish I could give you advice that would help, but wanted to say you are not alone! My first little boy was born a few weeks ago, and I adore him and am grateful that I stuck it out, but as for pregnancy, I feel just like you do. I don't have any advice about what to do to make it better, but wanted to at least validate your feelings. If it makes me a bad person/mom, so be it. I hate pregnancy as well!

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C.W.

answers from Grand Junction on

Sometimes ginger will settle your stomach, so try nibbling ginger snaps when you don't feel so good. Do some yoga that is targeted to pregnancy, and keep your eye on the prize!!! You've done this twice before, you'll get through it again.

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M.R.

answers from Boise on

Preggo pops are WONDERFUL! Life saving and yummy.

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T.T.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Boy, do I hear you! I am 17 weeks pregnant and it has been miseralbe! Up until about 16 weeks I was constantly sick the entire day, I had to eat CONSTANTLY or I was throwing up. I have already put on 23 pounds!! I would get so depressed and discouraged. I was told I would not be able to have more children and have had two since then, and I know they are miracles and blessings and what I want more than anything in this world. That, however, does not change the fact that when you feel so physically ill your whole countenance and emotions go skewampas. It is okay to feel this way. And anyone who has been there, understands. Saying how miserable you feel, in no way lessons the joy of being able to have a child and the love you feel for the little one growing inside you.
Best of luck. I hope you feel better soon (I finally am! And it is like night and day, like coming out of a black whole of dispair and sickness to see the light of hope again!)

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C.T.

answers from Denver on

Hi S. - it's tough at the beginning I understand. There will be a day coming very soon where you wont feel as sick anymore I promise. I had all-day sickness too and it last 17 weeks so hang in there. Watching my blood sugar and eating small balanced meals made a big difference. If I didnt eat in the morning I felt sick.

Also try using ginger. Ginger ale, ginger tea. It's a natural remedy for nausea.

You might also consider a yoga class for pregnant women - it's great for stretching and strengthening your core so your back wont hurt as much.

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A.R.

answers from Great Falls on

I don't know that I am the best person to be giving ANY sort of advice to anyone, seeing how I only have one child that is 9 months old. What I WILL tell you, though, is that there is NOTHING WRONG with hating pregnancy. Just because you hate being pregnant, doesn't mean that you don't want the child. I can tell you that I was not at all happy about having to share my body with another person for nine months, but once I got past the first few months of all the cruddy stuff (morning sickness, being exhausted all the time, etc...) and my I could begin to feel my child moving around in there, I felt much better. I'm sure that some people would say that they hated being pregnant for the entire 9 months. I still don't think that there is anything necessarily wrong with that. Everyone is different and if your feelings don't change by the time that all the "cruddy stuff" goes away, just look forward to the fact that in a few more months, that will go by quicker than you think, you will have the blessing of a wonderful new addition to your family, and everything that has come before will be a distant memory. Good Luck and Congratulations!

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J.S.

answers from Denver on

I have similar issues - but no weight gain so the doc gave me drugs. I would insist on drugs - who is he/she to say what you can handle? Get the good stuff - Zofran - and live a little.

Once you get the drugs - consider a sitter to come in for a couple of hours a week for your little one so can do something for yourself. I suggest exercise - pilates would be great for strengthening your back and stomach muscles, which would in turn help them to not hurt so much and to be stonger for labor. Also, walking - to help get those endorphins flowing.

You're not terrible - we would like a third child but the second was such a tough experience that we're considering adoption. Or an au pair!

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Were you sick during the entire pregnancies before? Most symptoms subside or at least get better the further you go.
With my first, I was huge and pretty uncomfortable, the congestion, heart burn. I also like you reminded myself of how lucky I was however. I say try your best to stay active and busy. With my second I had my hands full with a two year old so I didn't even really have a chance to "feel pregnant" too often until the end. He was a BIG baby so my stomach was huge but otherwise I can say being distracted helped me tremendously.
Try water aerobics, where you are weightless and can get some relief, see if you can relax in a warm bath to relax your muscles and body, even consider going to get a massage. I had one during my second and it was HEAVEN, they have them geared towards pregnant women. Even getting a pedicure can help you feel good.
As far as your Dr, you can insist he give you something for the upset stomach, or ask for herbal alternatives that are safe and can help you. Ginger tea is a good one.
Hang in there 24 weeks may seem forever but I am betting if you can find something to keep you busy, get something for the nausea that it can fly by! HUGS and CONGRATS! :)

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K.I.

answers from Denver on

Okay this is tricky but maybe you need a new Dr. I hate to say it, but I have heard too many stories about some male OBGYNs and their insensitivity to what it means to be pregnant, or go through menopause. This is not to say that all male Drs. will be this way, but you need some relief. I was horribly sick with both of my kids for 6-8 months. My Dr. was awesome. She was very sensitive and understanding of how hard it is to be pregnant. If she had not put me on Zofran (a drug often prescribed to chemo. patients) I could not have tolerated the misery and would not have been able to enjoy any of the pregnancy. Is it possible to see someone else in the same practice at least once in a while to get a 2nd opinion on all that you are feeling? It may be that your body (like lots of poor ladies) just doesn't tolerate pregnancy well, but there are things (massage, medications, physical therapy) that can help, and your Dr. should be an advocate for you and direct you to what will help. Good luck. In the end, you are right, the final product is what it is all about, but why not be allowed to enjoy the pregnancy?!

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A.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You're not terrible, your human...and pregnant....that isn't the easiest thing in the world. Hang in there I bet in about a month you start to feel great, the sickness will be gone, you won't be so stinkin tired, and you'll be farther along, so you won't mind looking pregnant, plus when the baby starts moving around more, you feel more connected to the pregnancy, there's a baby making you fat, not just because.

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P.U.

answers from Pocatello on

Hi S.,

I know a lot of women say they love being pregnant, but I was like you... I really hated it! I had really bad headaches and couldn't sleep, had backaches, and I also got really big. When I was 6 months along with my 2nd child people kept saying "oh, any day now, huh?" I won't even go into what it was like when I was pregnant with my twins -- people would actually gasp when they saw me! I'm wondering if there's any way you can have massages regularly (I think that would have helped me), take time to put your feet up, have pedicures, and it's probably ok to take some Tylenol for your aches. I wish I had better advice, but I just wanted you to know I was the same way and I absolutely ADORE my children, it's just that pregnancy is easier for some than for others. Hang in there and try to pamper yourself as much as you can.

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S.L.

answers from Boise on

Some people sail through pregnancy, and others just don't. I probably went to church 8 times during my nine months! I couldn't sleep at night, then I couldn't wake up in the morning. It was awful. Then it was worse the second time, because I had a 2 year old that I had to get up for! And my hips hurt the whole time, so when I finally do fall asleep, I wake up every hour in pain. And with my second, my "bump" was so huge that it felt like I would split open. It hurt so bad! And I outgrew all my maternity clothes (that I'd worn to the hospital with my first) with 5 weeks to go. I had to sew custom huge-belly shirts. And at my mid-term ultrasound, I was in full-on maternity clothes and looked like this girl I know who was 38 weeks along (with her second baby!) It's just not fair!
The one thing that helped was complaining to the NURSE at the OB. The OB is used to hearing women complain all the time, right? But my nurse actually listened when I told her that I had to make my own clothes because I couldn't buy maternity clothes big enough (that didn't fall off my shoulders). She talked to the doctor and persuaded him that I was serious. He ended up ordering another ultrasound and the baby was estimated over 10 pounds by his due date!
Okay, so my point is that sometimes you have to complain, complain loudly, and to the right people. Call up your OB's office and ask to talk to the nurse. Tell her you just can't take it anymore and ask her what you can do. She might be able to convince the doctor that you need some antinausea medication, or she can tell you to take Tylenol or something.
The tricks my friend and I used were sipping Gatorade (totally worked for us) and she wears SeaBands that have some sort of accupressure on your wrists. She swears by them, and she's having her 6th baby soon!
I hope you can get some relief!

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J.N.

answers from Denver on

I hated being pregnant too! I don't think that it is abnormal or that you should have to apologize for your feelings. It does not reflect on your skills as a parent at all. The only things that helped me with the back pain and general discomfort during my pregnancy were a body pillow to sleep with, massage therapy, and a chiropractor. I hope that helps and good luck!

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A.B.

answers from Denver on

Hi S.,

You are not awful to feel this way. I hated being pregnnt, too. What has the doctor said about the pain in your uterus? Keep in mind that this is temperary. You won't be pregnant forever.

A.

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D.G.

answers from Albuquerque on

maybe you can talk to your doctor about your back and uterus pain again and ask to have an ultrasound earlier that the usual 20 weeks. as long as there's a medical reason (unusual pain) insurance shouldn't have a problem paying for it. you may want to ask about ovarian cysts, which aren't that common during pregnancy, but can happen, or the chance of having multiples, yikes! if your current doctor isn't willing to listen you may need to choose a different doctor. don't be afraid to speak up and make your doctor listen to you. i've had several friends that had symptoms they mentioned to their doctors, but the doctor brushed it off even though they turned out to be classic symptoms of serious problems. I cetainly don't want to scare you, but sometimes doctors just don't listen because they think they know so much more, but you know your own body better than he does. if this doesn't seem normal for you, make him listen you until you feel okay with the situation or go to a doctor who will listen. good luck with your pregnancy.

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J.W.

answers from Denver on

I know how you feel. It took me two years to get pregnant and I had almost given up. When I finally did get pregnant people acted like I shouldn't complain about anything, even though I was constantly sick for about 2 months. I would just say the most important thing to do is to normalize your feelings. I think it is a myth that women are supposed to enjoy being pregnant 24/7. The little being takes over your body and it often feels like more of an invasion than anything else. So, I would first stop feeling guilty for not enjoying it more. It is a blessing, it is also painful, both can be true. We all enjoy different phases of parenting, not everyone can/will enjoy being pregnant, just like not everyone can/will enjoy having teenagers.

I would also push your doctor more to help treat your symptoms. I have found that, unfortunately, the squeaky wheel really does get the oil when it comes to the medical community. You often have to fight for your treatment by getting second opinions, etc.

Finally, I tried to do as much of the things I love to do as possible, things that kept mind and/or body occupied.

Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Missoula on

Sometimes we can concentrate on how much we don't like something that we don't concentrate on the the good in it. I loved being pregnant. I miscarried my 1st baby and had identical twins my second and a single little girl my third. I had lost so much weight with the twins (didn't know I had twins until I was 7 1/2 months pg), they were 6'6" & 6'9" at birth (two weeks early). It hurt so much to stand at the kitchen sink to do dishes. My youngest daughter was on her placenta the whole time and I had lots of back pains and back labor with her. I went into labor with her and didn't know it. Each pregnancy was worse than the prior. BUT, I loved being pregnant. The little miracle that grew inside of me just helped me to bond with each child. Please always remember, each pregnancy is different, each child is different, and yes it does get old and tiring and we have pains that are sometimes unbarable, but I LOVED BEING PREGNANT! Please don't dread that fact that you are, make it better for yourself. Go buy yourself a new dress or outfit that you will feel pretty in. Dance, it not only will make you feel good, but it is good for you since you have done it before you got pregnant. As for the sickness, I am very sorry 1st of all. Have soda crackers, or ritz crackers, or something along those lines and suck on them. I have found that if I didn't chew them when I was sick, my body didn't react because it was just like saliva going down. I don't mean to be gross. My guess is that you don't hate being pregnant, you just hate what your body puts you through while you are pregnant. Also, relax, the calmer you are about being pregnant, you may feel differently. I hope these help. Kay

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

Give yourself a break - you are NOT terrible to feel that way! I didn't like being pregnant either. I didn't feel ill the way you do, but my first child was born last year at age 43 and #2 arrived 6 weeks ago at age 44. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy and I was not a happy pregnant lady. Between the 2 pregnancies I had: placenta previa, gestational diabetes, hemmroids, and pre-eclampsia that landed me in the hospital. This was on top of the normal aches, pains, and exhaustion. Needless to say, being pregnant isn't my favorite thing. Just hang in there - you can do it and you are not a terrible mother!

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K.D.

answers from Provo on

Keep on your doctor. Just because you are gaining weight is no reason to continue to be miserable with nausea. Tell him because you are sick that you only want to eat stuff that is bad for you, so you need something to help you get back your appetite for healthy food.
And you are NOT terrible for feeling that way. Feelings are what they are -- it's what you do with them that counts. So you feel terrible and hate being pregnant, but you really want your baby. That is what counts. Have your kids help make a paper chain counting down the weeks to go, and relish it when you get to tear off another link in the chain. Focus on the end result when you start hating the pregnant part. Think of this terrible time as the first act of service you get to do for your new child.
If you are having a hard time focusing on the "prize" get out the baby pictures of the first two and look through them. Remember how wonderful it is to have that sweet newborn snuggle up to you, smile at you for the first time, giggle back at you... whatever it is you love about when they are babies. (mine is 4 months old -- they are soooo precious! and the time when they are small goes way too quickly)
And for your back -- find a jacuzzi if you can. We have one and it was AWESOME for my back pain. My doc just had us turn the temp down under 100 so I wouldn't get overheated. The massage jets and floating were the only time I really felt good at the end of my pregnancy.
Hang in there, it's only 24 more weeks (or so -- maybe you'll get lucky and have your little one a week or so early :)

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T.R.

answers from Denver on

Have you tried any natural remedies to make you feel better?? Ginger can help. I used to drink ginger ale. Stores like Mimi Maternity and Motherhood Maternity sell preggie pops... have you ever tried those?? Preggie pops used to help me. I would also keep on your doctor. Just tell him/her that you have 2 other children you need to take care of and its very difficult living this way. Ask him/her for suggestions if they won't give you what you need. Or even ask if there is a different prescription they would consider giving you for relief.
I had a lot of aches and pains too. I'm 5 ft 1 in. and its hard feeling like my babies have no where to go. I've always carried all out front and looked like I was carrying twins... just HUGE! Being in the water helps, like a swimming pool. I used to like taking warm baths. Treat yourself to a pregnancy massage, pedicure or other spa treatment. Maybe yoga would be good for you.

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J.J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

OH my gosh, don't feel bad at all. There are very few women I know that have ever said they LIKED being pregnant. Like other people have said, its the baby we love, not our bodies being stretched, prodded, kicked, enlarged, swollen, sick and in pain. If it makes you feel any better, I hate it too. We're thinking about number two and I had such a bad pregnancy, I'm like fine about the labor, but I HATE being pregnant. So, I've done a bit of procrastinating with makin' a baby.

Just hang in there. I'm so sorry your feeling so yucky. Esp. with other kids to chase - that just can't be easy. But just keep your eye on the prize, and do what you can to make yourself comfortable. One of the best pieces of advice I ever heard was "Feelings are good or bad, they just are." So, there's no use in feeling guilty about the way you feel. You just do, and it sounds like you have good reason. I'll be sending lots of feel-good vibes your way!

J.

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A.V.

answers from Denver on

I just wanted to mention that there is another option. Acupuncture and chinese medicine is very effective in supporting a pregnancy and any discomforts that come with it. It really helped me with my nausea. I think that it is best to find an acupuncturist who specializes in obgyn and working with pregnancy. There are so many practitioners in this area and for something a little less expensive there are acupuncture schools where you are still getting amazing treatments that are completely supervised but they are a little less expensive because the students are treating you. The one in the boulder area is Southwest Acupuncture college in gunbarrel, and I think that there is one in denver too.

Don't be h*** o* yourself, being pregnant and growing a baby is a very big job and it takes a lot from you. I know a lot of moms who don't enjoy being pregnant, I don't know how you could when you feel so crumby.
Good luck

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K.M.

answers from Denver on

I am sorry that you hate being pregnant. I hope the morning sickness gets better. Try to remember the morning sickness is a sign of a healthy pregnancy and lots of good hormones. Maybe try some prenatal yoga for the back pain. I know you struggled to get pregnant and appreciate your pregnancy.

E.B.

answers from Fort Collins on

I can relate. It took us three years to get pregnant and now I am counting the days until the baby is born. This second pregnancy has been alot harder on me and to top it off, my hubby is feeling very loney without my affection. I was very sick through the first months too, so I have a few suggestions that helped me.

Heartburn - Eat earlier in the evening and eat celery right after your meal and just before bed. I was not a big celert fan, but after throwing up cuz my heartburn was so bad...it is my best friend now. Adding just a touch of juice to my water helped prevent the water from giving my heartburn too. Chewing gum during the day helps too.

Nausea - I put a single peppermint candy in a gallon jug of water and drank it throughout the day. It worked great. Ginger helps too, but tastes like soap to me. Snacking on a cracker or keeping something in your stomach all day helps as well. I keep getting a sweet taste in the back of my throat that was making me sick and salted peanuts (2-3) would get rid of it.

Carpal Tunnel - Pray you don't get it. I have been using ice during the day and braces at night, but there is not much else that I could find to help it.

Hang in there. My nausea let go at about 20 weeks and things got much better. Your local health food store has a whole line of Midwife created products that will help with a number of pregnancy issues. Wishgarden is the best and I would suggest that you look into them. : )

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T.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

I just had my third and can relate. I was so sick with the third that i had to eat every hour so not to puke. I was sick with the others too but not like that. You can guess that I packed on the pounds. Then ended up on partial bed rest. Now that he's here, it was totally worth it...but you couldn't pay me to be pregnant again.

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T.C.

answers from Casper on

I would seek out a doula group or midwifery group and ask about a good chiropractor. There is a lot they can do, but make sure you get a good one for pregnancy. There is a Diaphragmatic release and something called the Websters technique. Both are gentle techniques and are specifically for pregnancy. Even a regular adjustment can help with the sickness. Asking a doula or midwife will give you the best chance of finding a good one. Start with goggling Doula and your town. Most of us do not mind giving out referrals and if they are a good one they will be eager to help. If you need to ask a midwife make sure it is a home birth one (even if you disagree with home birth) , because they may have a better list of ones that help in pregnancies.

If both of those are uncomfortable for you to do e-mail me and I will ask for you:).

____@____.com

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L.V.

answers from Denver on

Hi S.,

Congrats and I am sorry to hear you are so sick. It is hard enough taking care of yourself when you're sick, let alone two kids.

I would suggest looking into acupuncture or other natural medicines. Maybe even try a chiropractor who does cool lasers? If this sickness lasts your entire pregnancy, it is worth trying anything.

Good luck and I hope you start feeling better soon.

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L.R.

answers from Denver on

Prenatal Yoga may help.

www.harmony-yoga.com

For all, the first class is free. Pre-natal is offered Wednesdays at 5:45 and Saturdays at 10 am. You can meet other women going through pregnancies and it is relaxing and rejuvenating.

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Probably repeating (I didn't read all the responses)...
I would tell your doctor all the symptoms and don't let him brush them off. Tell him that you've been pregnant before and this is not normal for you (I'm assuming it' not). The backaches and pain in the uterus are more concerning than the sickness, I think. Insist that he determine what is causing them, or go to another doctor who will. (Be prepared though, that your insurance may not like to pay for extra tests. Nasty that they get to decide our level of care, isn't it). There still is a very good chance that it is all nothing to worry about, but he should at least tell you what you can take to ease the discomfort.

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K.E.

answers from Denver on

I am so sorry to hear you aren't feeling well, I can sympathize. I hated being pregnant too. There is nothing wrong with it. You are still a great and thankful mom who loves her baby, but we dont have to like the process to get there. Dont let anyone tell you to just be grateful and remember the miracle that is taking place.( Let me tell you it hurt me terribly when I was told that.) Maybe their little miracle didn't made them sick 24/7, kick them till they felt bruised inside and out, and cause heartburn until they could spit acid. Everyone reacts differently and no one has the right to be judgmental. Hopefully the nauseousness will go away in a couple of months. I dont know if you've tried the tricks but I found ginger snaps and flat ginger ale to help a little and you might try a pregnancy belt for the back pain. That made a huge difference for me there. I worked on my feet a good chunk of the day with that on. Check with your doctor, but mine gave me the ok to take warmish baths as long as my belly wasnt completely submerged and that helped the pain related to the muscles and ligaments near my abs. Keep telling yourself this is temporary and you can make it. Again dont feel bad for your feeling. You are not a bad person or a bad mom. Best of luck and congratulations with your baby.

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S.H.

answers from Denver on

You are not alone. I too hate being pregnant but love the kids. For the nausea, try a slice of ginger root steeped in hot water (ginger tea) or the preggie pops... today's ginger ale often has little to NO ginger in it, so I'm not sure that would help you. Have you tried accupressure bands? You can get them at most drug stores. I know the nausea sucks ... I am pregnant with twins and still puke every few days, but count myself lucky because I've known women that were so hyper-emetic they were stuck on IVs for most of their pregnancy.

16 weeks seems early for your back to hurt ... what has your doc suggested for that? Maternal massage, if you can afford it, might be a great option. Have your hubby roll tennis balls on your back. Get a rice sock (you can just pour non-minute rice into a tube sock and tie one end shut) and throw it in the microwave ... it will hold the heat and you can place it where it hurts the most. Have you tried pregnancy yoga or pool exercise? Being in water will relieve the pressure/stress on your body and movement in the water causes natural massage from the water pressure ... and often backs hurt because the muscles in your back and stomach that support it are weak, which from the way you describe how you are showing might be the cause of the pain. I know finding time for yourself when you have two kids is difficult, but your husband sounds like a prince and if you share how you are feeling, I'm sure he'd make time so you could do some things for yourself.

One more thought for the back... nausea tends to make us eat more, and the more we eat, the more weight we gain, and the more our backs hurt! Try using the anti-nausea remedies and eating tons of veggies and fruits and crackers in small doses to control the weight gain and make it easier on your back too.

And as others have said, sometimes you have to be real assertive with your OB and their staff.

Keep in mind that most repeat pregnancies don't last as long, so it may not be 24 weeks! I wish you the best of luck S., and I hope you get to feeling better!

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H.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

First of all, get to a chiropractor, they can help a whole lot with the physical discomforts, you will be amazed. Kristina Stitcher in Murray is excellent for this.

I'm also a huge believer in midwifery care. It sounds like your doctor isn't really hearing your problems and helping you to feel better. A midwife will help you to find other options that can help other than medications. You can get care from a CNM in almost every hospital in Utah.

Your not a bad person for feeling frustrated, you are human! But I don't think it is a foregone conclusion that you have to be miserable just because you are pregnant. Nourishing herbs and foods, acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, there are lots of ways to make pregnancy a better experience!

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M.R.

answers from Denver on

Ha ha! I was the same way. I missed a LOT of precious time with my first boy after I got pregnant with my second, and missed a LOT of precious time with my older two when I got pregnant with my third. When I was pregnant with my third, my oldest two were only 2-3 years old. My 3 boys have 3 1/2 years between them, so the time I missed was their baby time.

Tell you doctor you want Zofran, if your insurance covers it. Gaining weight or not, you have a life you have to continue and you can't do that if you're throwing up and nauseous all the time. I was gaining weight also, but I couldn't enjoy any time with my kids, much less go anywhere because I was sick all the time. I demanded a prescription!

A girlfriend of mine also mentioned "Preggo Pops". They are a sucker that is supposed to help curb nausea. They worked for her. I never tried them, myself. I KNEW I needed something else, after the miserable pregnancies from my first two. I also got a heartburn prescription AS SOON AS I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY THIRD! I didn't play the "wonder if I can make it a day without heartburn" game.

I also swelled up to looking about 6 months pregnant AND SOON AS I FOUND OUT I was pregnant. Get one of those belly/back supporter belts. By the time you're full term, you're going to be in A LOT of pain. I was. My back, my hips, my knees and my neck..... I waddled at 3 months. It was awful. I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU!! My youngest is now 5 months old, and what a perfect little miracle he is now. It seems like it was worth it, yet I won't have another baby. I'll never get back the time I didn't get to enjoy while I was pregnant.

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M.W.

answers from Fort Collins on

S.,

The first thing you do is stop berating yourself over not wanting to be pregnant.

You want this baby, you just hate the process. So accept that.

Try eating saltines before you ever get out of bed in the morning, and that should help.

Next, get your hubby to pay for a massage every day for a while to get your muscles in your back your back to limber up more.

Yes, I see you are a dance instructor, but you have different muscles at work for your pregnancy, so get the limbered up more.
And stop telling yourself you dread it because you feel crappy!!
You say you are grateful for another baby because it has been difficult to even get pregnant. So go look at baby clothes and accessories often, so you do the Awwwww thing frequently.
Get in the mood to have this baby.
You are so stressed out mentally over not wanting to be pregnant that you take all the joy out of it for yourself.
Come on girl, smile and try lots of different things to change your own mind.
Good luck honey and hope you have a very healthy BOY! LOL
M.

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M.O.

answers from Provo on

Talk to your doctor again. They should be willing to help you get a little relief. My doctor told me that taking a Unisom at night would help with the sickness, and it did. But there may be something else you can do as well. Pregnancy is hard, no doubt about it, so I wouldn't feel guilty about not enjoying it!

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R.M.

answers from Denver on

you are right to feel this way. your body is just tired and you need to listen to it. rest as much as possible!! it sounds impossible but if you don't do it now you for sure wont have the time after the baby comes. my third and fourth pregnancies were definatly not as pleasureable as the first two. your body is stretched to the limits. mind--body and soul. my doctor suggested for me to go to the swimming pool and just float. let my body be weightless . as you probably know that your sickness should subside soon. delegate chores and errands so that mom can get the rest she needs. i bet your family wouldn't mind at all to help you. if only you asked. as greatful we moms are to be blessed it takes it's toll. so don't feel bad. take a cold wash cloth and put it over your eyes and take a rest. (a quickie) Ha Ha **god bless**

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T.M.

answers from Denver on

First thing, you are not terrible for feeling the way you do. Being pregnant is hard. With both of my pregnancies, I was huge and my back was hurting all the time. Some women just don't enjoy being pregnant but love the end result, holding their baby for the first time in their arms. I would continue to talk to the doctor about being sick all the time. That isn't healthy for you.

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S.M.

answers from Denver on

I'm pregnant too, and I've felt that way for the last 12 weeks. This 13th + week I'm finally starting to feel a little better emotionally and physically.
You might try the Brewer diet I think the website is www.blueribbonbaby. com or org I'm not sure. Midwives routinly suggest this diet which is very high in protein... doc's tend not to focus on nutrition like they need to. I know that for myself, I absolutly have to eat throughout the entire day or I'm sick. It doesn't have to be a lot, but getting even a handful of nuts or a cube of cheese or a glass of milk... something with protein every hour or two is essential.
From personal experience...
The other thing you might look at is the emotional side of things. I actually love my life, have a great marriage, and a wonderful little toddler... but I was miserable! I finally let it all out one night to my husband and told him what i needed... I felt soooooooooo much better from then on!
One more thing...
You might try changing your prenatal vitamin. Iron can often make you sick. Look into a whole foods vitamin, you can get them from any health food store.
For your back you might look into a wrap, talk to a local midwife, you might have a pendolous (spelling?) abdomen. A wrap may help hold it in a little and take the pressure of both your uterus and your back.!
HTH and Congratulation,
S.

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D.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I just had my 4th baby in November. I love my kids and every one of them was completely wanted HOWEVER I absolutely hated being pregnant! I was so sick I literally wanted to die and the whole time I was pregnant I was miserable. I also had a hard time with the weight gain. Don't feel bad for feeling that way. It definitely doesn't mean you don't want or love your baby! I just kept telling myself over and over that it would be worth it, and of course it was! Good luck and feel free to vent to me any time because I totally understand. My e-mail is ____@____.com and I can always use a new friend.

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A.K.

answers from Denver on

I don't have any advice for you, just that I am empathizing with you. I too have had fertility issues, so getting pregnant is a big deal. But the whole pregnancy thing can be so miserable and uncomfortable and frankly just unbearable. I want the child, just not the terrible pregnancy 9-10 months that comes beforehand!I am excited to read what others say for help, too. I tried to focus on the baby, remembering how hard it was to get pregnant, to be so grateful for this little one in my tummy, but oh it is so hard to do that. I know from personal experience. Try and read humorous things/books, and strive with all your mite to have happy thoughts. Good luck sweetie! I am pushing for you! (Wished I could help you literally in that department! hahaha)

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T.M.

answers from Denver on

I totally understand your frustration. I was sick all my pregnancy both times. I was on bedrest the whole time with both. I hated it so much that I had my tubes tied. You are not terrible to feel this way, afterall its the situation not your baby. Unfortunatly there isnt much you can do. Doctor's aren't very sympathetic to the plights of miserable mothers to be. You'll be in my thoughts and I hope everything else is going well for you.

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L.H.

answers from Denver on

I never understood those women who love being pregnant!! It is 40 weeks of misery. I'm pregnant, too, and am hating every minute. Yes, I'm happy to be able to have a healthy baby, blah, blah, blah, but it doesn't make it any easier to be bloated and uncomfortable for 10 months. I have looked like I am about to deliver since my 4th month. The stupid comments (is it twins??) and the looks and stares just make it worse.

Try to stay busy so the time will pass quickly. And try not to count the weeks - just keep track of your monthly appointments. The holidays normally fly by and you'll be in your 3rd trimester when they're over. Talk about the baby with your little one - her excitement will rub off on you and keep you feeling more positive.

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B.N.

answers from Fort Collins on

I feel for you. Being preganant is very hard work. My second pregnancy was very similar to yours. It does get better eventually. I found that getting a massage every now and then helped tremendously. Also taking baths helped the muscle achyness. Stretching and strengthening exercises will also help with the aches and pains. Ask your Dr about what types of exercises would help. My Dr also said she would prescribe physical therapy to help out. I was already going for an ankle injury so I just asked my PT for some helpful hints. Good Luck!

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R.K.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Oh Sweetheart, that's rough.

Honey, I HIGHLY suggest you contact a doula in your area--I know there are LOTS...Check out the Utah Birth Network...you can get referrals for massage therapy, chiropractors, doulas and the like.

I've done this a few times and I can tell you I'd slit my throat and jump of a cliff before going through pregnancy without a doula...and I have the MOST wonderful, supportive, feet-rubbing, dinner-cookin', back massaging, doting, hard working, child playing, supplement giving, bread-winning husband around.

Also, I'd suggest a better nutrition program. Blueribbon is good, but I'd also recommend better suppliments, more water, iron, calcium--LOTS in a suppliment, and the book "Birthing From Within".

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C.C.

answers from Denver on

S.,
I completely sympathize with you because I was the exact same way. Being sick 24/7 wears on you. It is hard when such a blessed time is so difficult mentally and physically. With all 3 of my pregnancies I ended up on a mild antidepressant. It may have made a small difference. I will be praying for you. Hang in there.

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