I Give Up, I've Tried everything----I Need a Good Divorce Lawyer.....

Updated on September 18, 2008
J.C. asks from Matthews, NC
4 answers

I am 26, I have a 4 yr old and a 16mnth old---boys. I've had it with their father. I've been nothing short of a door mat. He's got an alcohol problem, one that he admits some years and others he denies, picked up a intense sports gambling addiction now, he works--I stay home. I didn't finish my degree due to an illness (IBD-UC, had three surgeries) and after decided to be at home and try for a family. It's amazing how much your eyes can be snowed over to someone when you're in love. Does anyone know who I can contact, lawyer wise. We have great credit, but are hanging on by the skin of our teeth....getting a divorce will ruin us financially. I've tried to avoid this, but I just can't anymore. When he travels, he drinks ("just trying to have dinner and watch a little of the game!"). BUT I know that he is a talker/flirter and I can't stand to deal with this one moment longer!! I've been with him for 6 years and it just is making me miserable. I can't trust him. I deserve more than this. I don't think anything is salvageable due to him being in denial of so much. I'm tired of trying for both of us. My children are suffering now.

Good divorce lawyer/family lawyer???? Suggestions will help so much. Thank you all.

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answers from Charlotte on

Here is a link for the Mecklenburg County Bar Association, where they have a lawyer referral service: http://www.meckbar.org/lawyerreferral/lawyerreferral.cfm

Stay strong and hang in there. There is a light at the end of your dark tunnel. God Bless you and your family.



answers from Charlotte on

I don't know a lawyer, but there is a program out called Pre-Paid Legal. There is a monthly membership fee, but they provide legal services and part of it is free with the membership and what ever isn't free is at a lesser rate. The membership rates a reasonable but not sure all the ins and outs. I can get you a number if interested.

A. M



answers from Charlotte on

So so sorry to hear your soul mate has this terrible disease. When your ready, go to Alanon and get support from your church, family, and counseling. The sooner you seperate, (you may not be ready for a divorce) the better it will be for you and your kids. It's a really difficult jump to make. I was told many years ago - You are walking in the woods with this person and your lost. You can't find the trail. The longer you stay in this unhealthy situation the harder it will be to find your way back onto the trail. And, you will be looking for the trail all by yourself. Angels do come along the way, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it.



answers from Charlotte on

Okay! I am a recovered, yes, recovered, alcoholic. I have not had a dring in over 22 years! If you feel like he is your soul mate but can not take anymore, seek a couselor, my husband and I did. It works but the trick is that it has to be a two way street. I decided I did not want to live that way and I saw that I could lose my soul mate so the choice was easy for me. The choice was easy, the cold turkey was not so easy to swallow. But before you throw in the towel, and that is exactly what I think you should do if the children are suffering, offer him an ultimatem. It worked for me but may not for other people. If you feel like you are wasting your time, get out for the childrens sake! I have heard my son say that if I had not quit drinking, he would rather see his father and I get divorced. Remember, it takes some time for the urges to go away, but with family support and a lot of patience, it can happen. For me 22+ years sober and counting! If I can do it, anyone can do it. Unless you are at your wits end, try couseling. I know that sounds cliche but if he is as determined to work this out, it will!
Good luck and remember to always put your babies first. They depend on you! You are their protector and support!
I wish you the best and will put you and your family in my prayers.

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