I Feel Disgusting

Ahhh..post baby mushiness is not fun. There is an excellent book for you to read that will cheer you up in the first chapter called "Mama Gena's Guide To Womanly Arts". It's funny and will leave you feeling completely empowered.

Order it on Amazon if you can't get to the bookstore...totally worth it!

Hang in there, and remember that everything passes, L.

Hi S.. I know how you feel. I had my daughter 3 1/2 years ago. After having her I weighed 188 lbs and I am only 5'2. I lost 15 lbs in 3 months after having my daughter on a great weight loss program. If you want more info email me back. T.

S., do accept your husband's word that you are beautiful. Because to him, you are. And who cares what others think. All moms know how hard it is to care for their babies and work and try to stay in shape. And no moms think less of you because you have some baby fat. Yes, make a resolution to get in shape, but know that it will take time. Here's some things that I find helped me to lose weight: breastfeeding slowly melts the fat away, eat more vegetables than carbs, go multi-grain and stone ground wheat product rather than the refined carbohydrates. And I have no time to work out, so I walk with my kids alot. Put them in a stroller, pack some water bottles and snack for the big girl and go as long as you can. Also, the fresh air and bright outdoor will brighten your mood. I find people usually smile and me and tell how adorable it is that I am out with my two girls. Nobody look at my flabby self and frown, ;-). Please know that things will get better, slowly but surely.

Oh S., I just wanted to send you a note of encouragement! I had my daughter 15 months ago and still don't feel great about my body!! :) :) So know that you are not alone in your feelings. Know also that we are our harshest critic, and I truly beleive sometimes, what we see in the mirror is NOT what other people see!! Susana T. is correct, you only had your baby 7 months ago. It does take time and you have to give yourself a break!!!

It is possible to splurge a little on yourself? Maybe a mani (and/or) pedi. For some reason, when I get my brows waxed, it makes me feel pampered and a little cute! :) Just a little something you can do for you, it doesn't have to cost a bunch and can make a big difference in the way you feel. Some may think its shallow, but it works for me. :)

The most important thing is to stop calling yourself muchy, jiggly and gross!! You are not gross, you are beautiful, curvy and soft!! Tell yourself this, write down all the GOOD and BEAUTIFUL things about yourself!!! I do understand your feelings, I can't seem to get my body back, and its changed just enough that none of my pre-pregnancy cloths look or feel right on me. My mom finally said, "You are a mommy now. You have a woman's body, not a girl's. This is a good thing!!"

So, my friend, you just take a deep breath. You are a beautiful mother. You will have the time to work out, right now take the time to sleep or be with your husband. Believe what he tells you and know in your heart that you are beautiful, he loves you and he is a lucky, lucky man to have a wife that loves him so and has given him two beautiful children. Good for you for asking for support!! Hang in there!!!

A. :)

Hi S.,

I want to share a little about myself, hoping that it will make you feel better. I have two children, 11 months apart. After I had my children, I too felt "disgusting" and "ugly" because of the extra weight. I didn't have a supportive husband who made me feel special like you do but I realized that I wasn't disgusting nor ugly. I was a wonderful mother to my children and that's what made me beautiful, not my weight.

It has only been 7 months since you last gave birth. You have to be patient as far as giving your body time to adjust and return to it's pre-baby size. In the meantime, focus on all the positive things, including having a great husband. Eventually you will find time to exercise. You don't necessarily have to go to the gym to get a workout. Maybe you can exercise to your favorite workout DVD at home. You can even take your baby out for a brisk walk with a stroller. There are a lot of ways you can exercise and still spend time with your family. But don't be so h*** o* yourself. Having 2 children is a lot of work so pat yourself on the back and tell yourself what a wonderful, beautiful mother you are. I'm sure that if you asked your husband if this is true, he would agree.

S.

S., I don't know what you were before you had children but I was about 95lbs and after I had my first I was 125. I felt the same way(by the way I am 5'2") but now that I have lost the weight and it is hard for me to gain back I wish I was 125 again. If you got a workout movie you could do that at home and have your older child do it with you or do it during nap time. My mom used to do the richard simmons tapes and we did it with her. That is one of my fondest memories as a kid with my mom.
Just a few ideas of ways to help. You have a right to feel however you like so I am not going to tell you to not feel disgusting because you have your reasons just as someone would have their reasons to feel beautiful even if you don't see it. It is hard having a baby and being all mushy here and more here than there was before but you will get there. Just know that many moms here have been there done that and we support you!!! Keep your head up and keep at it.

I completely understand where you are coming from. It's no fun. I'm sure you are beautiful as your husband says. I know it's all perspective, but really, 145 at 5'4" certainly isn't "fat". Anyway, I would really recommend Weight Watchers. I lost almost 45 lbs on the program. It's always best to exercise, of course, but you can lose the weight w/o exercise & add the exercise in when you have time. Good luck to you. Keep your chin up!

S.,

Good news is, what you are feeling is so normal and so many of us have been there! First off at 5'4" 145lbs, you aren't doing too bad so don't beat yourself up. You just had a baby! Now for a little reality.. EVERYONE has one hour a day to do something for themselves! We are all very busy, I know, but taking care of you should be at the TOP of your list. Make the time to go to the gym, or get up early, or whenever you can fit it in. There are great videos you can do from the comfort of your own home. A book I strongly recommend you get is Lean Mommy buy Lisa Druxman (founder of Stroller Strides). Not only will you get a ton of informative information but she even shows you how to do some strenght training with resistance bands. It's a quick read and you won't regret it. Check out www.strollerstrides.com and see if there is a location near you that is convenient, some locations have evening classes for working Mom's, plus you get to bring your kids! If you just did this for 3-4 months, you'd gain so much muscle and get toned! (no more mushiness!!)

It sounds like you have a wonderful supportive husband, take advantage of this and go do something for you - he'll reep the benefits as well!!
M.

I know how you feel. As a result of taking prescribed steroids and eating more than I should have during my first pregnancy, I gained a lot of weight. I have had two c-sections with complications and, as a result, scarring beyond what is normal in a c-section. My abdomen, which now sags over my incision, is covered with a wide brown patch. Doctors and a woman I know who had a tummy tuck told me that the only way to get rid of the "pouch" was to get a tummy tuck but advised me NOT to get the tummy tuck and instead just learn to live with my new body. I think that the most important thing to do in this type of situation is to love, honor, and accept oneself. I am still learning how but getting better at doing those things.

I also understand the difficulty of working exercise into one's life as I go to school part time, do research and volunteer part time and am a middle-aged (42-year-old), not super-energetic, mother of two babies, 20 months old and 6 months old, and wife to a man who is in town only half the year.

On a practical note, have you considered going to a gym, such as Bally's, that offers child care while you work out? I love going to my gym because I know that I can exercise in peace or just sit somewhere without two babies crying and screaming. My children seem to look forward to going to my gym because, I am guessing, they can see other adults and other children and play with toys that they don't have at home. Bally's in my neighborhood offers good child care at dirt cheap prices.

Be glad. We could have less supportive husbands, which would make life a lot worse. My husband's grandfather told his young, slim wife right after she bore their first child, "Get a girdle, and wear it!"

Good luck,
Lynne E

Dear S.,
I totally understand kids, husband, house = no time. I was you about a year ago. I am 35, two kids and was 158 pounds and 5'5. Before kids I worked out all the time and then there was no time for me and I felt so fat. I did however lose it all...here is how. I drank lots of water, ate low fat foods, and bought an exercise bike. Face it...you don't have time for the gym. Driving, waiting for machines takes away from the time with your family. Take 30 to 45 minutes 6 days a week for the bike, eat right, and drink lots of water. Its that simple...you will lose...but don't starve yourself.

You are at a good weight. Just firm up at home with weights and use DVD exercise programs. Just do something and you will feel better. Push the kids around the neighborhood in a double stroller since the weather is geting warmer. You will be fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi there S.,
First of all I hope you are feeling better today than you were on Wednesday!
I've been thinking about you and your post for awhile. I just want to send you some hugs.
Our situations are somewhat similar: I have a 3 1/2yo DD and a 9 week old DD. I'm a 36yo SAHM who is feeling a little flabby!
I felt so sad when you used such harsh words to describe yourself. In your childrens' eyes you are perfect. You are the arms that hug them and the eyes that look on them with love and the lap that they feel safe in. You are yourself a child of God and therefore worthy of higher praise. You are the woman that your man loves. If he knew that you called yourself those names he would be so sad. He would beat up anyone who called you names like that! Be kind to yourself, mama.
That said, I know the feelings you describe! It's hard the second time around-my first baby my body snapped right back. This time it's taking longer, not to mention I have less time to really work out and exercise.

This is what I am doing:
I have a weekly email group with my sister (just had her 2nd baby a 5 weeks ago) and a girlfriend (no kids). We just email eachother and keep eachother updated on how we are doing health-wise. We started the group before my sis and I got pregnant and I lost 5 pounds(then gained 45 lbs-LOL!)!We are talking SUPER informal, no judgement, lots of encouragement and positive reinforcement. I suggest you start something like that with your friends. **If you don't have a group you can email, you can join our group! We would love to have you!**
I have started saying affirmations. When I was pg, I took a class that featured affirmations and they had an awesomely positive influence on my outlook. So I wrote affirmations based on those. I say them as often as I think about them-try to get them in everyday. For example: "I enjoy eating nutritious food everyday"; "I take time to take care of myself everyday"; "I ask for help when I need it"....things like that. I just wrote a whole list of stuff. The more I say them the better I feel. You can do this too! Speak the words into a recorder and then you can hear them on headphones. NO MORE NEGATIVITY! Negativity won't make you slim, just make you feel bad about yourself.
I know that you work part time, but I am always looking for someone to walk with. Where do you live? If we're in the same area maybe we can both find some time to do some walking with the strollers?
So, if you want to walk and/or email with some positive girls, give me a holler.

HUGS, E.

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S.

Hello S. ...

I've been a health educator for the past 28 years.

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Just drink 4ozs a day ... it's that Simple.

If you're really serious about losing weight and you'd rather not go on some crazy diet or join a gym ... take a couple of minutes today and visit my blog:

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You'll be glad you did!

I'm here for you if you have questions,
~M.
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Hi S.,

I can relate - I had my first at 33 and my second at 36 - and felt so busy teaching full time that I just wanted the old me back.
About 10 years later I signed up to do the Avon 3 Day Breast Cancer walk and started walking with a group 3-5 times a week - I finally got most of the old me back - so I think it is key to have a support group - like my Avon walking group - or the stroller striders that someone else shared. becuase it keeps you accountable.

Unfortunately soon after the 3 Day walk - I stopped walking and by age 48 had gained back everything + more was tired and had no energy. I found a great program came with coaching that allowed me to lose 30 pounds over the course of the summer, I gained energy, started exercising because I felt great, my skin got better, my body got what it needed in nourishment - it was not about starving myself -

If you want more info go to http://www.cleansedforlife.com and send me a private message and I will answer any ?'s you might have.

Best success to you and yes listen to that wonderful husband, feed yourself positive messages and enjoy the journey.

D.