I Am Working Mom, I Have Very Little Time for Me N My Kid? How to Manage Time.

Updated on August 05, 2019
P.K. asks from Bloomfield, KY
11 answers

Want to keep my child and my self happy with the time I have

What can I do next?

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W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

P.
Welcome to mamapedia.

Where is your husband in all of this?
What are your expectations for being a mom?
Does your job offer flexible hours?
How old is your child?

Work/Life balance can be hard for some to achieve. Making a schedule helps. Planning things helps as well.

If your child is school age? After dinner each night work together in the kitchen to prepare lunches for both of you the next day.

Go grocery shopping together and have your child help with the menu for the week. Have him/her help you in the kitchen instead of watching TV or playing on an electronic device - this is time spent together and teaching your child how to cook and plan...

If you want time for you? Set your alarm early and do something you need to do for you - whether it be reading, meditating or just walking around the block.

Take your kid on a "date" and it doesn't have to be fancy! A trip to an ice cream shop is good too! Movies! Rent them instead of spending $50 at a theater. Curl up on the couch and watch it together.

You really need to stop and figure out what you want and what your priorities are. I realize you have to work to pay the bills, etc. and you need to be with your child. Stop trying to take it all on yourself. Get your child involved in your life as well - like I said - kitchen time, movie time, etc. Make one night a week "family night" and turn off the cell phones and iPads - play games, watch movies. do something together.

Breathe. You can do this.

10 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

I have 4 boys. Quality over quantity.

My husband was deployed many times while the boys were growing up and I had to be a single parent. I managed my time by making "to do" lists and spending as much time with my boys as I could.

They helped with a lot of stuff like dinners and meal planning. We did a lot of laughing and talking while preparing meals. Still do.

Make a schedule.
Make a list of things to do.
Set your priorities for what MUST get done and what can wait.
Ensure your husband helps out too.
If you can afford to hire a maid service, do it. Takes the stress off you.

7 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

It's all about quality over quantity.

Whether I was working full time at a busy career and traveling or home with my kiddos, I have been able to find ways to connect I think with my kiddos.

It's about making the most with the time you have - doesn't have to be elaborate. Even a moment here and there just having silly fun, reading a book, building a fort, making art, helping in the kitchen, playing on a swingset, going for a walk, ... whatever just focus on your child. That's what it is - putting down the phone/tablet/laptop and focusing on the child. Disconnecting from everything else.

Being a SAHM is a job, and can be draining, so they have a hard time finding ways to manage time too. It's not just working-outside-of-the-home moms. Know it's every mom.

I always like date-day or date-afternoon (or date-hour - whatever you have time for) with each kid whenever you can squeeze it in. I recently went to an exhibit with one of mine and it was a lot of fun.

Sometimes just spontaneous fun. Or just watch a movie together. One of mine watches a show with me once a week (Survivor). Another likes America's Got Talent. That's our special thing.

One bakes with me. Sometimes it's something you don't enjoy.

Put everything else aside - it can wait, at least until they are in bed. I know a lot of moms who heap on tons of stuff on their lists that don't really need to be on there. I let a lot of stuff slide, and our house still operates. Or get your kid(s) to help or hand off stuff, and pay them for it - I don't do allowances, but I will pay so much per task. I instruct and it's great at bonding and getting them to take on responsibility. The thing is, our kids are expected to help in general anyhow - so mine help prepare dinners, and clean up just living here. That's time together to hear about their day and get stuff done. Good luck :)

5 moms found this helpful

L.N.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Quality vs. Quantity; figure it out together. As your child grows up and has this situation happen with their children, then they will have ways to cope. I have this issue with my youngest son, because he lives 40 min. away with his father. We still have lengthy discussions on the phone, and they are positive, and he tells me that's what he needs. He also enjoys going out to eat every couple of weeks, just he and I. Establish a routine time, where your child knows that you will be there, no matter what. Will be security for you and him or her. Something to look forward too.

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

not quite sure how to answer this. i was a working mom too, and my kids spent most of their days in daycare. so the general response is to make sure that whatever time you have in which your kids are awake, with you and not busy with school or sports, to clear the decks and focus on making the most of it.

as for 'how to manage time', that's the topic of a gazillion books and ted talks, and requires the accumulated experience of a lifetime. it's a bit more than can be tackled on this forum.

guilt is endemic for mothers in our situations. don't succumb to it. accept that you're doing what you need to do for your family right now, and create memories and love and laughter and magic in the moments you've got with them.

khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

You manage like everyone else does.
You go to work, you pay your bills, you spend what family time with the kids you can and that means having them (husband too) help with meal prep and doing things around the house (age appropriate).
Many hands make light work and when chores are done then EVERYONE can relax, play games, see a movie - what ever you do as a family together.

There are people that do shift work and people who work multiple jobs and people that get deployed for 6 or more months at a time and everyone manages their family life as best they can.
While there are always those who have it better than you - someone always has it worse than you too.
It's never perfect, always changing, and quite the balancing act.
This is life - enjoy it.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

When you are home, involve your kid in everything you do. Not only can even very little kids be genuinely helpful (they tear lettuce for salad while you chop vegetables, they bring dishes from the table while you wash, etc), you can talk about all kinds of things while you do it and it becomes quality time.

If your kid is too little walk (so can't do the above things), then get a baby wearing device (snuggli, moby wrap, etc), and have your baby with you while you do things around the house - again, keeping up a chatter talking to your baby.

Bottom line: make the most of the time that you have.

2 moms found this helpful
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N.K.

answers from Miami on

Take advantage of the weekends to have quality time together, like going on park outings, road trips, museums, stuff one-on-one (or with your partner too, if you have one). If your kid has homework, see if he/she can get it done in aftercare so that there is more time for you two to spend after you get back from work. Maybe you want to save easy meals for weekdays, like baking chicken, making a salad, or something that just requires warming up. Maybe you guys can cook together on the weekends so you have more time on weekdays to do things like watching a movie together, reading, playing, or riding bikes after school (depending on what time you get home). Involve the kiddo in helping fold laundry, for example, or putting away cooking ingredients. Talk in the car, when you're going home, just be present, available to talk and listen, and he/she will know you care!

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L.B.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi P., Based upon my experience my top tips would be:
1) a great morning routine for yourself before anyone else gets up you need to taking care of you so you have the energy and attitude
2) use a menu mailer that gives you ingredients and recipes so you can have great meals in little time
3) cleaning service is key if possible
4) have as much delivered to the door to save time
5) make sure you have written down and are very clear on your long term goals for your children - what kind of "adults" would you like them to be with respect to character, experience, skills, etc. It will help you decide what is important vs not with respect to time and energy plus keep you focused when you are tired.
6) vitamins and follow a great foodplan for yourself, water :)
7) If married, remember your children are welcome additions to your family (you and your husband) therefore it is important to foster a great marriage
8) Gratitude list - 5 things you are grateful for each day - different each day so you do not miss all the amazing awesome treasures of motherhood!
9) HAVE FUN!
10) Ask for help when you need it (just like you did here) - an outside perspective is worth so much

1 mom found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

As hard as this sounds, be ORGANIZED. When you are running around like a chicken with its head cut off, it’s so difficult to enjoy anything. We crave downtime so much after a long day of work, and just the thought of doing the work of organizing is exhausting, but it’s the key to a happy life.

Start on the weekend, and include your child. Turn on music while you physically organize. If your frig is a mess, clean it out. Lots of veggies that are still edible? Make soup. Do cooking that will be easy to warm up for dinner. Prepare lunches in advance. Aim for one load of clothes per day to wash - get them in the washer the night before and when you walk in the door, throw them in the dryer. Drop what you’re doing when you hear the buzzer and fold/put away. When the weekend rolls around, dirty clothes won’t take over your life if you’ve washed one load each day.

After you put your child to bed, lay out everything for the next day. Set the table for breakfast. Have your work stuff set out and your clothes laid out. Same for your child.

All this will give you more quality time with your child and you will feel better.

R.P.

answers from Tampa on

I guess you need to organize and prioritize. It also depends on what type of job you have and how flexible they are. Maybe look for a job that offers less hours and this will allow you to spend more time with kids. Maybe dad can do more.. I mean this all depends on your financial situation. Good luck!

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