I Am Struggling

Well, you are in a very tough spot. I highly encourage you to live with your parents if they will let you. While there, work hard to help around the house. Do the dishes, clean the bathrooms, keep your room clean, cook dinner (if you don't know how, learn!). Be a blessing to them. Make them thankful that you are there. It's a great opportunity for them to develop a deep relationship with your child. Ask for their counsel. What would they like you to do? It's time for you to start acting like an adult. Get the teenager mentality out of your vocabulary and mind. It is gone now. You are an adult. You have a child. No more time for playing. I'm not saying you are, but sometimes we get to feeling sorry for ourselves and what we "should be able to be doing." I'm so proud of you for having your baby, even though you knew your life would be more difficult. It shows great character on your part. You'll be fine, eventually, but these next few years will probably not be all fun and games for you. Blessings.

Girl, I know it's hard...but ask your parents for help, they are the best people to run to when times are hard. If you dont live with your parents move back with them. You know that with them you'll always have a roof over your head, food, and support. Get a better job apply online at deparment stores, the holidays are coming and alot of stores will be hiring. Apply for WIC. this program is a huge help. Not only do they give you food and such but they teach how to feed and take care of your baby. ALSO get child support. the father of the child also has to take responsibilty and help you out!! It frustrates me that the father wont give you anything but tell him to do so and take him to court. Just begin minimizing your expenses and buy the essential. Remember that it's not just you anymore, you have a little human being to take care. You must be stong for both...and remember every cloud has a silver linning...hope i helped take care and God bless

See if your parents can help you with childcare. Seek to find a better job that can pay your bills. Move back home and pay rent if you can until you find better employment. Seek out the benefits and services offered for free. You can make it. Go back to school and see if they offer childcare while you study. Create a budget to minimize your expenses. All the best.

Please check into this: http://thelighthouseonline.net/

The Lighthouse is a foundation in Butler PA (not too far from Grove City) that has programs to help women in your situation.

you are writing my life 21 years ago. STAY STRONG FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD!!! Believe me you will see the light at the end of this struggle. They were not your true friends if they did not stick around and support you-forget them! I would also file for child support-do not depend on this as sometimes it takes months, years to get any support from the father. Social services will help you, as will WIC, but not for long as this is short term help to get you back on your feet-do not depend on them either. You will have to find a better job, more hours, if you have to work at night when your little one is sleeping so be it. This will be a harsh reality check, but you have to do what you have to do to support yourself and child.

Ask your family for help....

Seek out social services....

Go to a Church or something, and they often have outreach programs or will help you.

Go to thrift shops to get what you need.

Apply to "WIC" to get food staples/milk/formula.... just do a Google Search and input "WIC programs in Grove City, PA."

Apply for food stamps....

Get a Lawyer... to get child support.... You NEED a lawyer....

all the best,
Susan

Samantha,

The friends you lost were NOT real friends. What is any part if the father of your child playing in his life?

Are you going to school?

Are you enrolled in any programs for single mother?

Where are you and your baby staying now? Are you and the baby safe, fed, warm?

Would you accept help from your parents.....would you and the baby be welcomed or scorned in their home?

In order to give you a better asnwer/advice, we need a little more information. But just remember you are not alone.

Blessings......

You may want to look into getting a roommate that is also a single mom. That way the two of you can work different shifts and watch each other kids for free. That will eliminate childcare costs. With a roommate you are splitting bills. If your parents are willing to help you, LET THEM! Don't let your ego get in the way of help. As long as you work hard to make it, you will be alright. It won't happen overnight but as long as you are giving it your all it will happen. Keep us posted and let us know what you decide.

I would start by looking into going to school. There is financial aid available. If school is not an option for you at this point, you will have to try to find a job that will allow you to have more hours. 3 hours a week at any job, let alone a minimum wage job is not going to pay your bills. I would also let the child's father know that he has to help you with your financial situation. He has as much responsibility to your child as you do, and it sounds like you're the only one taking any. That is so not fair to your baby, and it's not fair to you! Is maybe staying with your parents an option until you can get on your feet financially? I am so sorry for you. This must be a scary situation. Good luck.

It depends on your age and living situation. Do you have support from family? Do you go to a HS that is made for moms? (they have these in some cities). I would focus on getting through school, and showing my child a good example. If I had to get on foodstamps, WIC, whatever, I would. I would also sue for child support. In essence, I would do whatever I had to do to improve my life for my child. That includes taking assistance if offered, or available, finishing school - HS AND college, and working anywhere I could.

I know two strong ladies that had children at 15. Luckily, with the support of family, they are both college graduates and very successful.

Of course you need to accept help from your parents (if they offer it to you, which I hope they do), and even ASK for their help if you are in need. Remember this is not just about you anymore but there's an innocent baby involved now. Also, ask where you can find a lawyer that works "pro bono" (which means for free) and contact social services that will help you to file for child support and get insurance, food stamps and all you need to care for the baby. You are too young to be on your own with something so big to deal with. So, get your family's help first and then get the child support straight so you can pay for your your baby's needs while you get ready to go to work (which you'll have to do in any case). The job should be one that pays more than burger king..ask social services to help place you in the job market after you have a safe place to leave your baby while you are working. DON'T leave your baby around just because you need to work, though. The father's money (child support that you HAVE to get) should be used, among other things, to make you stay with your baby as long as he/she needs you and in any case until you have found a good placement for him/her. Family and job are the magic words that must put you on your feet again. Social services represents the "shoes" you need to wear to go forward. Best luck and get active...baby needs your help!

It would depend if I were a 19 year old mom or a 15 year old mom. If I were a minor I would ask my parents for help and I would try to finish school and truly apply myself while in school. I would file for child support and I would meet with a county social worker to find out what programs are available to help young, single parents in my area. If possible, I would take some online college courses. If college wasn't for me, I would look for a full time job and ask my parents, the father of my baby and his parents if they could help to provide child care during my work/school hours. If no one could help with that I would seek child care assistance through my county or state. There are a lot of social service programs out there that can help low income, single parents. There should also be a legal aid office (and probably a child support enforcement office) somewhere nearby that can help you get child support. Finally, I would make absolutely sure that I did not have any future children until I was in a better position to care for them.

Go home. Talk to your parents. Ask for help.
Go to the College and ask for help. They will know how to get it for you.
If you don't want to go into admissions - the big building on the left as you go up the driveway, go straight across to the chapel. They will help you or they will find someone who can.
LBC

Samantha,
Hang in there, hold your head up and be the best mother you can be to your child. Really think about your future and your child. Since you are a teen mother, you are still a child yourself. I promise you that how you think now will not be the same when you are 30 years old. Talk to your parents, don't you want that child to always talk to you. If your parents will let you live with them until you can make it on your own, then do it. Have you finished school yet, if not, do so, and get good grades so you can go to college. Then go to college, you will be able to get help, and look into colleges where you can live on campus with your child, some have daycare on campus. I'm not going to lie to you, it's going to be hard for a long time. But you can make it through this along with other trials you will endure. They will make you a stronger woman in the end. Please look into a church and have support from them. There are many churches that will not judge you. Don't worry about your "so called friends", true friends will not leave you, they will let you know when you are making mistakes but they will also stick by you. You're a mother now and that's what you need to focus on.
God Bless!

I know you may be bummed that you lost those friends, but honestly, let them go. You need people around you with common interests, the main one being a mom.
Take your baby to the library for baby reading time. Most cities have it, its free and there will be other moms there with their babies. It will help to get you out, be around other moms, and do something fun with your baby.
You need to find a better job, and if your parents are willing to help you, don't be ashamed to ask for their support.
You also need to take the father to court for child support. Don't feel bad about doing it. If he hasn't helped you out at all or much, he's not living up to his responsibilities. Lets face it, you weren't in bed alone when you created that child, so he has to be responsible in some way for the baby.
I would also look and see if there are teen mom groups in your area. I think it would really benefit you to talk to other teens who are moms. This is a hard job being a mother, and I could never imagine doing it when I was a teenager, so I commend you for wanting to do your best. Hang in there, don't give up!

I know how hard your life must seem to you right now. It will change, but you will have to make those changes happen. If you feel that you are welcome in your parents' home, then by all means...go home. They have the experience of raising children that you can learn from, as well as a safe environment for you and your child while you figure things out. I would suggest looking for work in an office, or somewhere that might offer a tuition reimbursement program, so that as your time frees up, you will have the option of pursuing a higher education. You will find that making ends meet without one will be very difficult.Try looking for jobs in a hospital. Even if you aren't interested in the medical field, many offer in house child care for employees, and tuition reimbursement. You need to be working more hours. Also, check to see what public assistance you might be eligible for. As a teenager, you haven't had the life experience that teaches us all to take the reins and be in control of our lives, but mothering a baby will be your motivation. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, so gather your strength and remember on the hard days, that you CAN make this better. I wish you the best.