I Am So Mad, I'm Shaking....

J., You NEED to LISTEN to these Ladies! (Thank you, Momma's!!) Your husband is putting himself, you, and most of all your son IN DANGER....not to mention God knows who else, and how many others, with his addiction to your pain meds. If you are a Christian, I would suggest calling your Pastor (or someone else on the staff whom you trust implicitly) NOW. (Do Not worry about what time it is...)

Both of you need counseling for the sake of your marriage, and your little boy. You to help you "process" everything, and your husband to help him STOP stealing your drugs!

I won't make this long, because you need to be on the phone, but if you need the phone # for a counselor...I have several that I am personally associated with (friends, church members, etc.).

HIDE your meds TONIGHT, and MAKE THAT CALL!! (I know it's hard, because you have to have the meds accessible to yourself ~ we have a 2-year-old that we have trouble keeping out of stuff.)

My phone # is on my profile if you need me.

Prayers and Blessings for you!! :)
>HUGS<
~J.~

I just had to say that first of all, I am sooooo sorry for your situation! I can only imagine how angry and betrated you feel, and it is good that you can vent somewhere. That said, I am sure that you are already starting to feel a little more clear headed, and although it may seem hard to understand, please know that your husband is not deciding (with a clear mind) to chose drugs over you, your pain, or your child. I don't speak from personal experience, but from what I know of addictions, it is not simply a mind over matter kind of thing. It eats him up inside that he cant get over this, and I am sure that everytime he sees you, or your son, he is filled with shame, which surprisingly fuels the addiction. He does need help, but as hard as it may be, you need to come at it from a loving, sympathetic side, not an angry, betrayed side. You have a right to those feelings, but you need to find a friend, counselor,or family member to share those feelings with, so that you can help make him feel like he is worth the fight ahead. Later, you will need to let him know how this affected you, he will need to see that at some point, but right now, he is probably at his lowest point, and lies because he does not know what else to do. Addiction has taken him from the man that you loved and trusted, to a scared, sick, and altered man. Can you find him again, yes, with a lot of love, help and support...even from your family and close friends whom you are afraid will be judgemental. Maybe try to keep it to yourselves until you have a plan and he is facing up to it, but then, let everyone help you that can. You will both need people that believe in you. OK, clearly I am ranting, and honestly I don't have personal experience in this exact addiction, but I have seen the behaviors of other addictions affect my family. Even food addiction, you know like when you know that brownies is going to make you miserable, and feel even worse about yourself, you still eat it...it is similar in nature, but not as gripping an addictiion. Hang in there, you can do this with help!! Good luck ~A.~

I have been in this situation. My husband did this too. It is such a hard thing to overcome. I would talk to your doctor and tell them what is going on. I am not sure how to handle the conversation, BUT if you do run out because he is taking your medication, I know that your pain doctor WILL not write anymore for you and then YOU are hurting. I am not sure if you just need to take them with you EVERY where, then you know where they are at all times. At the time my husband had been in a terrible car accident and was taking too much of his pain medication~ I had to monitor it. I do not know if he has a doctor that you can call and talk to. he is hurting himself. I am not sure that you need to be worrying about how others will look at him ~ he is putting not only your life, but his in danger and you could be saving both of your lives by talking to both of your doctors! I had to and it saved my husbands life and medical career! You have a little boy to think of too. What would happen if your husband takes too much of your medication, he overdoses, you run out of medication and you go through a withdraw that seriously hurts you? Where will he be? Do this for your son ~ your husband is not thinking of you at this time ~ you need to make sure someone is taking you and your sons best interest to heart!

There is a very good organization in FT.WORTH TEXAS that can advise you and council your husband, hopefully with privacy. TCMERF. Contact them.If you have insurance this program may be covered. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Here is a really ugly truth....recovery used to right at
5%.You may have some really difficult choices to make.If this sounds like I have made these decisions,I have! At 19.
Just do the best you can every day. That is all you can do.
For yourself, there are several very good pain management
facilities, this may also be an option for you. My aunt had open heart surgery in the 1970's. She was in constant
pain and took prescribed meds for years. She became a passive addict. Have a care for yourself here also. See if there are alternatives for yourself. Please keep in mind that pain is pain whether it is physical or emotional so your husband may wonder why you can recieve relief for your pain while he cannot. It is a difficult position to be in but you have to look at your own acions here also. Do not cover for him, please! Enabling an addict is dangerous business.

It seems to me like you need someone to talk to; if you feel you can't tell anyone in your family, perhaps a therapist would help. When you are a little less angry, I think you need to have a conversation with your husband about him getting some help for the addiction. You may always need to lock and/or count your meds.

Hi J.,
Well I think it's probably a good idea that you both get off the pain meds. I would seek a different choice for pain management. At this point you both are addicts. Yours is just legal and their has been no betrayal done to anyone for you to get your drugs. Sad that your husband came up with this way to deal with his issues. Sorry to be harsh, but why are you surprised that he is still using when they are so readily available to him? Someone that is addicted to drugs that are mind alliterating is not able to make wise and right decisions. Yes you have been betrayed but in his defense, he is not in his right mind to think clearly. You both at this point are needing the same medication, and I think it would be wise to seek treatment to get clean. And then decide about your relationship.
C.

You've had some EXCELLENT pieces of advice from these moms. you moms rock!!!
I dont have much to add but wanted to send some HUGS your way. When I read your post I prayed for you right away.
Know that some people (howbeit strangers) care.

LOVE to YOU and WISDOM for the right actions to take