I Am Looking for Ideas to Wean My Five Year Old Grandson from His Blanket.

Updated on January 27, 2017
R.K. asks from Kearney, NE
19 answers

He is on the spectrum and has his "blue blanket" to sleep with and he takes it to pre-school to sooth him when he is upset and/or tired. He starts kindergarten in August and his parents are concerned that he needs to be weaned from it before school starts. Any suggestions?

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N.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

Why do you want to wean him? My daughter will also start kindergarten this fall and I don't plan to wean her from her teddy bear just because she's starting kindergarten.

4 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

why?
especially with a little fellow on the spectrum?
yeah, he'll get teased about it.
and at some point he'll decide to stop bringing it.
i would let him do it on his own timeline.
khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful

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M.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Because he's on the spectrum, I truly would get his doctor or some other professional's advice here. If you and his parents do the "be a big boy, big boys don't carry lovies to school" etc., without input from someone who is experienced in working with kids on the spectrum -- well, this could all turn into a major battle of wills. Remember, he is used to taking the blanket to preschool; telling him that kindergarten is somehow different, and the comfort object was OK for one "school" but not the next "school, may create nothing but confusion and upset for him. Is he seeing any type of doctor or getting other regular help because he's on the spectrum? I would ask that professional for advice on how, when or whether to start this process. I'd also go online and find forums forums specifically aimed at parents of young children on the spectrum. Ask this question there too--those parents are going to have had this experience already and you and his parents can benefit from what others have learned.

The kindergarten does already know that he's on the spectrum, and the new school is being given all information needed to accommodate him and work with him--right? Be sure they're in the loop from very early on. You and his folks shouldn't wait until summer or September to get him onto the "big kid school's" radar.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

This is an imaginary problem for the adults. Your grandson will stop carting his blanket around when he is ready to do so. It is not at all unusual for children on the spectrum to use comfort objects longer than their peers. In fact, there is a product industry specifically for helping comfort and de-stress kids with such needs while at school or in other scenarios.

4 moms found this helpful

D.D.

answers from Boston on

My kids always had blankies and as they got past toddlerhood the rules of blankies changed. Instead of being dragged everywhere blankie had rules that changed as they got older. First to stay in the house or car so no lugging it around stores or the playground. Then blankie had to stay in the house so no using it for car rides. Eventually it had to stay in the bedroom so it wasn't used all day around the house and finally it stayed on the bed.

Suggest his parents start now explaining how he's becoming a big boy and because of that things he use to do as a baby and toddler change. Make sure they have a gameplan and stick to it. Involve the pre school too so they know what's going on.

3 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Don't totally wean him from it. Teach him that he can only bring it certain places. For example, start now in preschool...it has to stay in his backpack. When on outings to say the grocery store he can take it but it needs to stay in the car. In Kindergarten it has to stay at home but will be waiting for him when he gets home. Don't tell...my 12 year old son sleeps with his "baby blanket" on his bed...a little blanket with an elephant head. He would never let a friend know but I see that it gets moved to his bed at night so I know he likes it there.

Updated

Don't totally wean him from it. Teach him that he can only bring it certain places. For example, start now in preschool...it has to stay in his backpack. When on outings to say the grocery store he can take it but it needs to stay in the car. In Kindergarten it has to stay at home but will be waiting for him when he gets home. Don't tell...my 12 year old son sleeps with his "baby blanket" on his bed...a little blanket with an elephant head. He would never let a friend know but I see that it gets moved to his bed at night so I know he likes it there.

3 moms found this helpful

W.W.

answers from Washington DC on

R.,

You don't wean him. You let the parents do it. And if he's on the spectrum? They MUST talk with their therapist BEFORE they even begin to do something like this.

Why is it so important for him to be "weaned" from it? He's going into kindergarten, not high school.

My son took his teddy bear to Kindergarten. He's NOT on the spectrum. He left it in his cubby. Eventually he didn't need to bring it any more. He's now a freshman in high school.

3 moms found this helpful

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Both my kids are on the spectrum... ADD/Asperger's and ADHD with anxiety. They are 17 and 14. They both have blankets they have had since toddlers that they still sleep with. I don't see what the big deal is. And if he wants to take it to school, who cares? Or maybe cut the corner off and see if he's happy with that. My son will take random things to school to keep his hands busy. And don't Kindergarteners get nap time? I remember, and I still have it, a pillow my son had to take naps with at that age. So I don't think it's a problem. He can stick it in his back pack...no big deal. JMO Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would both check with the therapist and talk to a K teacher in your grandson's school.

In my kids' school, K has a rest time in the afternoon, and kids are allowed to bring their loveys out at rest time. My child took a lovey to school every day in K and got to snuggle with it during rest time. If his school is like this, it might make it an easier transition for him.

If he absolutely has to be weaned from it, the therapist should have ideas. For my almost 7 year old, who still likes to have his stuffed animal with him, we have rules such as "when we go in stores, stuffed animal has to stay in the car so he doesn't get lost" and now in first grade, my rule for school is "you can take stuffed animal to school in your backpack, but he has to stay in your backpack in your locker all day. He doesn't get to come into the classroom." I don't know if these types of strategies will work with your grandson though, because transitions are sometimes harder for kids on the spectrum. But your grandson's therapist should be able to help.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

My son in 13 and still sleeps with his blankie. The issue here though is school and him coping with how to sooth without it. Involve him in coming up with solutions and he may feel more empowered. Maybe you could cut a small square of it off for him to keep in his pocket or something like that?

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

My son had a blanket as a baby that we used to cover him with. He loves it so much he puts it on his pillow case before going to bed. My son is 10. My girls had their own toys and we transitioned them slowly to where the toys now only stay in their rooms.It is ok to have the security, especially if new situations will upset the child. Please follow the child's instinct, they will give it up on their own when they feel secure in their capability to handle situations.
You mention he is on the spectrum, he needs time, there is no age limit on having favorites. Schools are also aware and most accomodating

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L.H.

answers from Abilene on

My daughter is not on the spectrum and had a blanket she had since infancy and had it with her through junior high at night. I love that blanket. I told her when she married I would have a piece of it cut from it and sew lace around it for her to carry if she liked. She didn't take it with her everywhere she went but definitely wanted it on her pillow at night.

I agree with others, check with the therapist and see if it's necessary. Get some pointers and I also think this is the parent's job.

2 moms found this helpful

T.D.

answers from Springfield on

a child on the spectrum should not be weaned from a lovey that calms them down when upset especially with the transition to school. i would not try to wean it away. i would let the child have it whenever wherever needed. once school has started and the child is comfortable you can begin to suggest that he leave it home but do not force it.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.N.

answers from Detroit on

my son is not on the spectrum but he is anxious.. he took his small comfort blanket to kindergarten every day for naptime(they had 40 minutes of quiet lay down time on mats in kinder) He was in his backpack for the first weeks of first grade too.. then he stopped needing it.. I remember him sucking his thumb walking to school holding his blanket but soon he got embarrassed and would hide the blanket as we got close to school.. heck if a blankie took away all my cares and concerns I would be holding my blankie too... don't worry about it.. let him have his blankie..

Updated

my son is not on the spectrum but he is anxious.. he took his small comfort blanket to kindergarten every day for naptime(they had 40 minutes of quiet lay down time on mats in kinder) He was in his backpack for the first weeks of first grade too.. then he stopped needing it.. I remember him sucking his thumb walking to school holding his blanket but soon he got embarrassed and would hide the blanket as we got close to school.. heck if a blankie took away all my cares and concerns I would be holding my blankie too... don't worry about it.. let him have his blankie..

1 mom found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

A good friend of mine had a blanket up until school. It was her lovey. Her mom cut a corner of the blanket into a small square that my friend kept in her pocket. Back then I think kindergarten had nap time. No one knew about it and once she got to school, she naturally gave it up on her own when she realized no one else had one.

One of my kids carried a little stuffy in her pocket when she was nervous of going on the bus. Just knowing it was there made her feel better. She outgrew it on her own too.

Alternatively, when I took away soothers, I did it in one step - I just said it was broken and I had to get rid of it. They seemed to accept that.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Transition it to be an at home thing.
When my son was in day care, he had a friend who brought in his lovey - a special teddy bear - and low and behold it got lost or stolen.
It was awful - and there was no replacing it and the poor kid cried for weeks.
Right then I told my son that his stuffed toys needed to stay safe at home on his bed while he was out for the day - that way it never gets lost.
Worked like a charm with very little reminding.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

He's on the spectrum. Kids also take naps through the first semester of kindergarten and they get to bring a blanket from home. So let him take it. He'll start putting it down when he finds other things to do. It will also help him transition to being in school and away from mom/dad/grandma all day.

I think it's okay for him to have it at least through the first half of kindergarten. I would think he'd be done with it by then anyway. If he's not then give him something else to take with him and let him have his blanket at home.

1 mom found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

Start slowly. If going outside, it stays in. It may be only for a few minutes. Does he take it to stores etc. If so, it has to stay in the car etc. see how it goes. You have plenty of time.

S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

There is a children's book named "Owen" by Kevin Henkes that deals with this issue. In the book I think they cut e blanket into a number of squares that the child can carry in his pocket. I would get the book, read it with the child, and cut the blanket into squares.

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