I Am About to Become an Alcoholic...

My firstborn did this same thing at about this age. It lasted for a few weeks and then he seemed to get a bit bored by it. BUT we tried several things....night light that is brighter than what he was using, leaving the door to the hall open, and monster spray which was just air freshner that we would spray in the areas where he was afraid there was something to neutralize the fear...I really don't think any of it was successful. I think he just got tired of the fight - I know I did. A nice merlot goes great with all that drama.

Dear T.,
You might try some low restful music in his room.
maybe a night light. so he can see there is no varments in his room.
MK

I know exactly how you feel! My 2 almost 3 year old just started doing the same thing. We used to be able to kiss her and tell her to go to bed and off she would go, not any more! She actually won't even walk down the hall if it is remotely dark any time of day now. What I was told is this is the age where the become aware of and remember dreams. We now have a nightlight in her room, right next to her bed and some one has to walk her into her room to her bed. It is also much harder to get her to go if it is already dark outside. The nightlight and putting her to bed before it is dark has help tremendously. I hope that helps, GOOD LUCK!

Not sure how it's going for you, but I thought I would share our story.

We went through this too and when a flashlight didn't work. We bought a Tykes Light Jr. at Walmart (battery operated and it doesn't get hot). We taught him how to turn it on and off - we showed him and then had him do it. We started by placing it on his bed at night, right above his pillow, and one of us would lay in bed with him. Whichever one of us stayed with him in his room the other would turn off the overhead light.

The dialogue went something like this:
Staying parent: "Mom/Dad, please turn off the light"
Leaving parent: "Sure, please be sure that the blue man is on" (Blue man is the name of the Tykes Jr. Light since it’s blue)
Staying parent: "Oh, son, would you make sure that the Blue Man is on?"
Child: "It's on"
Leaving Parent: "OK, good. Sleep well, Sweet dreams and so on." You get the picture.

Staying parents’ job at this point was to ensure our son that the Blue Man was there to let him see that nothing was going to scare him at night and when the sun wakes up in the morning, he was to turn Blue Man off so that its' batteries won't run out. He knows that God, Mommy and Daddy will keep him safe, but in the event that he gets scared and when he wakes up, the Blue Man will let him see that there is nothing to be afraid of. We make sure that his pillow has the good side up so that he won’t have bad dreams (we saw that on Calliou) and it works 98% of the time. On the rare occasion that he wakes up and can’t go back to sleep on his own he’ll come to our room and ask that Mommy keep him company til he falls back asleep.
Blue Man is still part of the routine, but it’s now on his night table. He turns it on every night and turn off every morning and he flips his own pillow. We stay in there just til he falls asleep, because we want to :)

I hope you figure something out soon.

WOW, I feel for you. BOTH of my kids were awful sleepers and have relapsed several times. I'm not sure what to tell you here. Mine went through stages where they would sleep fine for 4 months and then same thing - act like i just handed them to the devil when they went to sleep!!

I put in a cd player in their rooms and play music for them at night. Also got them both a Twilight turtle which puts stars and moons all over their rooms and it seemed to help.

Ambien helps me (as does Jack Daniels). Here's hoping it's only a stage.

A child's imagination really starts to kick in at age 2. It is very likely was is driving his behavior. My eldest daughter (now 14) went through a stage when she was younger because suddenly she noticed the shadows being cast by her night-light and her imagination saw scary things. And when she was about 6-7 years old she would wake up in the night from very bad dreams.

With the shadow thing, it was just a matter of working with her over time to understand they were just shadows. It is so hard at that age because they aren't really able to communicate to you what the problem is.

What you may want to try is tag-teaming with your husband to stay in the room while your son falls asleep. Lay on the floor, etc. Once he is deeply asleep, go back to your room. Hopefully he won't wake up again but if he does, you just may need to repeat the process. I realize this doesn't help your sleep pattern, but it is likely temporary and will pass in a couple of weeks.

I also have a 2 year old. Just recently she went through a phase where she suddenly became terrified of taking a bath. There were no incidents to trigger this. It took at least two weeks before she finally calmed down and now she loves the bath, and the pool, etc. Who knows what was going on in her little brain to cause such a reaction. And it was really stressful because she throws up when she cries too much so I had to contend with a screaming, puking child!

Hang in there mamma!

I suggest you get him a flash light for kids. Each night take a tour of his bedroom and let him shine the light into the nooks and crannies of his room. Leave the light with him so he can use it when he is scared. This will empower him and hopefully get him to sleep better. :) GL!

Sorry we have the same problem with a 4 year old who just started it over night and is terrified. He has never had an accident since being potty trained at 2 and if we try to put him in the bed alone he shake and screams in terror and has wet him slef from fear. We resorted to either him in our bed or we take turns sleeping with him. Doc says it is a phase and he will out grow it to be patient. GOOD LUCK

My son went through something similar when he was about 2 1/2. He was all of the sudden afraid something would get him in the dark. We got him a night light so it wouldn't be so dark. I also sat in his room with him until he fell asleep. I started out sitting right next to the bed the first night and moved a little farther away each night after that until I was sitting outside the door. I would reassure him that I was not going anywhere and then just sat quietly until he fell asleep. It took awhile for the fear to pass and he still sleeps with a night light now at 6 years old. Good luck!!

My sympathies for your lack of sleep! I know how crazy it can make you!

It does sound like your son is afraid of something. I agree with the other poster who said to start by talking to him. I have a 2 year old, as well, and although she's a late talker, she can tell me if something is owie, or show me what she's scared of. I find that taking her fear seriously and talking through it with her (explaining the noise outside, taking her to see the tree that's making the shadow, etc) actually does help.

Of course, it could be something harder to figure out with just the two of you, in which case I really wouldn't hesitate to talk to a child psychologist. It doesn't mean anything's wrong with your child, it just means that you need help interpreting someone who can't fully express himself yet. I've had experience with two serious cases of what you describe, and both had concrete causes that required some extra help. First, my little sister was like this just after we moved when we were children. She ended up sleeping on a mat on the floor of my parents' room for a couple of months (not my parents' first choice, but better than not sleeping!) She was having terrible nightmares--we still don't know exactly what they were about (she's an adult now, and remembers little bits of someone trying to steal her)--but she was clearly terrified. The second case was with a little girl I nannied for--she was adopted from Korea through a reputable Christian agency, but as a toddler started having screaming fits when we put her in her big girl bed at bedtime. With help, we were able to determine that she was most likely physically restrained or tied up in the home where she spent the first couple of months of her life, and those experiences as an infant were coming back to her through associations when she was older. Again, we could find strategies to deal with her fears, and really the transformation was pretty remarkable, but we did need some outside help to figure out what the source was.

I hope you can figure out what's troubling your little guy, for everyone's sake! GL!

Make it an adventure...take him to the store and tell him you are going to buy him a cd/tape player. Pick some fun songs (Disney has some good movie theme song cds) or nursery rhymes or stories. Tell him he can only listen to them at bed time. Maybe hearing songs or stories will make going to bed easier. My granddaughter has listened to songs and stories since she was 2. We also have her crib mobile on her dresser that puts star designs on the ceiling. Make going to bed an adventure. Hope this helps!

Have you asked him what the problem is? When my kids went through phases like this, I got out a spray bottle full of "monster/scary/whatever repellant" (also known as water, or at times some body mist I had sitting around)and sprayed under the bed, their bedding, etc. Whatever they wanted.

Always worked for us, but then again uncorking some cheap wine is always a viable alternative too ;)

Oh I also put some wall-mounted night lights near the kids' beds that they can just reach over and turn on/off by themselves whenever they want to. They like having some control over how much light is near them.

I can completely empathize with the frustrations you are feeling right now. I'm no behavioral expert, but this may just be simple regression, like when kids sometimes regress after having been potty trained and then all of a sudden, are having accidents. I've heard the same can happen with sleeping. They are fine and then all of a sudden, they don't want to go to bed in their own room anymore.

When my kids wouldn't want to go to sleep in their bed, either my husband or I would lay down with them or sit in their room until they fell asleep. When it turned into more than 1 or 2 nights, as it did with my daughter, my husband and I took turns sitting in my daughter's room each night until she fell asleep, but each night, we'd move a little further away from the bed until about the 4th night, we were right outside her door, and then on the 5th night we were as far outside her room as we could get with her still being able to see us. We did that last position for a couple of nights I think, and after that, we stopped. She would still get a little anxious, and come out of her room for a few nights after that, but she'd see me sitting in my office and I'd tell her to get right back in bed and she would do it. I told her that I would be right there in my office until she fell asleep and she seemed ok after that. I think my daughter was a little older though when we had to go through all that so I don't know if it would work with a 2 year old.

Hopefully you'll get some really good tips here and find something that helps. In the mean time, hang in there. I know what it's like to be right on the edge like that. Sometimes, in our house anyway, I feel like that on a daily basis. LOL But we all know that this too shall pass. :-)

Blessings,
N.

Have you taken him to the doctor for a check up? Sometimes kids can have ear infections that don't hurt so much but just make them feel cranky and irritated when they are trying to relax.

One thing you know, you have to get some sleep (we can't have you drinking with the little guy to care for)! :) I think I would make him a pallet in my room (I know, shouldn't do it, but your desperate here) and allow him to sleep there for a couple of nights. Then, gradually move the pallet farther and farther out of the room towards his room. I did this with my older child and eventually, once his pallet was outside of my room, he picked up his blanket and went to his own bed. Of course, there are no guarantees that this won't make your little guy want to sleep in your room every night BUT he is obviously going through a transition period (if he's not sick) and for your own sanity you've got to do what you can to get some rest!

My DS does the same thing. I am still trying to figure out what to do. I have done everything that there is to do. I too have older kids & I am 36. My kids 19b, 19b, 17b, 16g, & 33months boy. He gives me so much trouble with his sleep. I just started sleeping with him just so I could sleep all night & now he has started having night terrors :(. Well GL

I'm sorry your having such a hard time with him, but my first thought of an idea is to contact Super Nanny. Have you tried talking to his doctor about it? That is about all I have for ideas.

I totally understand you frustration, sleep depravation will drive anyone crazy.When my daughter was younger, she started getting scared of her room. My husband explained to her that there was nothing in her room that would hurt her. He told her that he would always protect her. He put her large stuffed animals around her room, one in each four corners of her bedroom. He told her that he knows that ntohing is in her room but just in case a shadow frightened her the stuffed animals would protect her and let us know if she was scared. 2 yrs old is a hard age. They are learning new things that they do not understand. I would not let her watch anything that had scary things in it ex:Scooby do, etc. Sit down with you son and talk to him and find out exactly what is wrong. Forcing him to do things that frighten him will only long term the situation. Talk to him in the morning or during the day, not before bed time. Then discuss what you have learned before bedtime with him. I have always talked to my daughter and let her explain her feellings to me and we work through them togather. Some people think I am crazy, yes I understand he is only 2, but you will be amazed what you learn when you talk together. I hope I have helped. I am not an expert, I am just sharing my experience. Good Luck!!

I know that you have already finished this, but my son did the same thing. He is now 4 1/2 and has to have a light on every night. He doesn't like to not be able to see everything in his room. Try a nightlight, or light on in his closet, and give him a stuffed animal that he can use in place of you. This started with my son when he turned 3, and it hasn't gone away. I hope this will help. It actually worked with all three of my children.

T.,

Take your son to the doctor to make sure he doesn't have an ear infection or something else, just to rule it out. Once you know he isn't sick, I would suggest lying in his crib with him when you put him to bed. Stay there until he falls asleep. Also use a night light. Sing him lullibies or play calming music in the background. Make him feel safe and loved at bedtime. I know lying beside him while he falls asleep could turn into a bad habit, but you are desperate and you must get your sleep, so I say anything goes. GOOD LUCK!! I feel for you.

You may want to try some of the Supernanny techniques. I used them on my daughter when I transitioned her to her new bedroom and big girl bed. It really worked. You do your bedtime routine as normal, then after laying him in bed for the night you sit in his room with your back facing him. If he gets out of bed, you just continue to put him back in bed with the first time saying, "it is time for bed". Then after that, do not say a word. You may have to do this numerous times before he actually falls asleep; however, the next night and then the next night should be a lot easier. By the end of the week you should not need to even sit there. Good luck!

Buy your son a flashlight. I have seen a children's flashlight where the child pushes a button and the light comes on and it gradually dims and turns off by itself to save the battery. Use a night lite in the room too and try putting on some soothing music. Tell your child when you tuck him in that there is nothing to be afraid of. He is probably afraid of the dark so use the flashlight to check everything out to show him there is nothing to be afraid of. Then, put in some ear plugs for yourself, take one Advil PM and go to bed!

With 2 grown children, you already know that NONE of them are alike. And I'm sure you've already tried the 'reading' theory (read with/to him-in his bed/room). The following things have worked for me: night light-(the 'lighted' aquarium), 'star mobile,' soft music, warm tea (chamomille) with honey about 30 minutes prior to bedtime, body pillow and, last resort (worked best-should have done it FIRST!) let the dog sleep with him. DoN'T close the door all the way-something has scared him and that only creates more terror.

There may be a shadow on the wall or a tree limb out the window. He may have seen/heard a frightening TV program/newscast or heard something from day care, Sunday School, his siblings. If you are a SAHM, trace your day/conversation, etc. This doesn't sound like the normal 'terrible twos'... (are you trying to potty train him? Have you asked him why?

try i a little light or may be staying up a little later or no nap during the day i dont know i 2 yr is doing tihe same thing she will not go to sleep in her bed and will not stay in her bed if i put her in there so i dont know the suggestions are what worked with my other 3 but they have not worked for her... sooo. i guess try

I am 43 with a 2.5 year old. She throws a fit when I try to get her to bed, I have been letting her fall asleep on the couch and I take her to her bed. I am waiting for school to be out so that I can do the super nanny method without disturbing my 8 year old. Also, she gets up in the middle of the night and climbs into bed with my husband and me. So, if your son at least stays in his own bed, your ahead of me in the game. I am with you on the drinks, I know how you feel right now. I am sorry I don't have an answer for you.

Nightlight. Radio.

check for teething if he's has not gotten his 2 yr molars. It could also be that he has just noticed shadows. My daughter did the exact same thing when she was in her 2's. We figured out that her night light had a opening pattern that looks like little holes. (Wallflower) One night she began screaming and it took several day to figure out that she had finally noticed the pattern on the celing. We had to dimonstrate to her what a shadow is. Also do not let your child watch the movie Monster Inc. That seemed to have a big effect on my daughter at that age as well. She swore there was a monster in her closet. Best to not put that kind of fear or thought in a childs mind. She is fine with it now and is 5 yrs old.

Now Drinking for a Hobby can actually be a good thing! :)

But seriously... Is there any chance at all that your two year old saw something on the TV that he shouldnt have thanks to the 20 year old or 16 year old? If so that could be what is freaking him out. THe worst part is that we are talking a 2 year old who chant tell you what the problem is.

You might want to try switching rooms with him for a night or two. That will show him that there is nothing bad and his room. If he sleeps fine in your room without you then you know that its something in his room, not that he has seen on TV. Hope that makes sense.
Good Luck and let me know if you need a Friend to help with the drinking problem so you arent alone! Would hate to see you turn into a true alcoholic over night. At least drinking with a friend makes it somewhat acceptable! *L*

Hang in there.. I to have that LARGE Gap in ages and know the struggles...