I Am a Lose for This Birthday

Updated on August 07, 2010
R.I. asks from Duncanville, TX
8 answers

I'm sure a lot of you moms have gone through this so I need some help. We normally do our sons birthday parties at home because I have 12 nieces and nephews and I am very close to all of my brothers and sisters. (there are 10 of us) So this year we decide since it is his 5th birthday we wanted to do something special so we are taking him to Gatti Town in Frisco. But here is the problem he wants to invite his friends from school and with us having to pay for 9 of the 12 cousins I told him he could invite 3 friends. However all the three of the friends he wants to invite having siblings. I really cannot afford to pay for the siblings because that would mean paying for 5 extra people. So how do I tell the parents that either they need to pay for the siblings or siblings are not invited. I don't want any feelings to get hurt because I am semifriends with these people but not good enough friends to flat out tell them this. I am so lost and confused. Please help me I need to contact Gatti Town tomorrow to make the reservation.

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So What Happened?

Well I think we got it figured out. We have decided that we are just going to rent a swimming pool. We are allowed 50 people so there is plenty of space for everyone to come. We also decided to do small sandwiches and little finger foods that way no one expects to much. Thanks for the help I really do appreciate it.

More Answers



answers from Dallas on

Normally, it is considered to be very rude for a parent to bring a sibling to a party without asking so most parents won't. Make sure that the invitation is address to just the child you are inviting and avoid using the word "family." Other than that....I don't think there is much you can say. Good luck

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Tulsa on

It is my understanding that when one of your children is invited to a party, it is not an invitation for anyone else. I have some friends that will contact the parent if they do have siblings & ask if it is ok they tag along but that they (the parents) would pay for any of those expenses. If you are still concerned you might say to the parents that there is a limited amount of space so please RSVP for "Peter" or something like that either on the invitation or in person. I would never expect that an invitation for one of my kids would mean bring the whole family.
Hope that helps.



answers from Dallas on

I love the tag line on the first response!! I work at Pump it Up and deal with this everytime I am in the building. A lot of times, parents ask us to handle it. I am not sure if Gattitown would do that for you, but we just ask who was invited to the party and all the other kids are $10. That way party mom doesnt feel pressured and guest mom understands.

Good luck!



answers from Dallas on

Hi R.,

You may wish to rethink that idea! With you having already to pay for 9 kids, adding 3 more is going to be tough. Are you sending invitations out? If so, just indicate on the invite that you are only inviting those friends, so they clearly know that if they bring thier siblings, they will be responsible for their other siblings. Another problem you will run into is paying for the parents. Are those 3 friends that your son wishes to invite, do you plan on paying for their meals as well? Do you want them to just drop them off (3 friends) and you will be responsible for them?

We looked into Gattitown too, but decided against it because their was not a package deal that they offered. You were just responsible for paying for each person who attended the party. Then you run into the trouble of paying for parents too. Most parents that come to b-day parties (especially of younger kids) plan to stay, so are you going to make them pay their way too? See the dilema? It is touchy and I wouldn't want to be in your position, thats for sure!!

You will definitely run into some money because purchasing 12 meals + your own will be expensive. Also, do you plan to give those kids a PLAYING CARD to have any fun after they eat? That is another expense as well.

Think long and hard about it, it could become a very awkward situation.

If I were faced w/this decision, this is what I would do. I would do only your family at Gattitown and then have your kids 3 friends maybe over for a sleepover (the following weekend), then you would only have to deal those 3 freinds, rather than siblings, parents and shelling out all of this $$. Do pizza, movies and popcorn w/his friends and then breakfast in the morning (donuts & milk) and then sent them home after breakfast the next day!!

Good Luck!

G. B.



answers from Dallas on

Hi R.!

We've gotten invitations that have said things like, "Familys welcome at your own expense." and "Siblings welcome at own expense." and another one said something like, Brothers/sisters welcome under parents supervision & at your own expense.

I never thought it was rude or anything. I actually thought that it was a good idea to put on there for when we had parties! Good luck!




answers from Dallas on

Every time i have a party i put all info on the invation between the time/date and the RSVP. I have 4 kids and a do this on a tight budget. Just say that anyone is welcome to come, but will have to pay there own way. Many people understand that times are a little harder. Even when i do a pizza party i inform that the parents and sibling are welcome to come but only the invited kids will be covered. i hope this helps.
M. Harris



answers from Dallas on

I never expected a sibling was a free person. Just those invited to the party. I would invite those kids and gather them up and pay. If parents and other kids come then they are responsible. G. W



answers from York on

I know this is an old question, however, I am reading it, so some one may still be having the same problem. I just went through so much stress over this.My 10 year old son is having his birthday party at a local pool that cost's $7.00 per person and most of the people invited know that is how much it cost. So, in the invatation, I put a small slip of paper in it, typed, that basically said, i have had a lot of questions so I thought i would clarify things. I made the party from 1-5 hoping kids would know to eat lunch at home. This pool only has a snack bar that is super expensive. (I didnt mention the snack bar, but people know this). Anyway, I wrote you may drop off your child off and I would be at the front gate to pay for them. I said "your child will not need any money". There will be cake served at 2:30 at an outside picnick table and drinks and snacks available through out the day. BUT I THINK I WAS UNCLEAR HERE> I stated, parents are free to stay or drop your child off. Please let us know if your child needs a ride.When I said "free to stay" I meant it in the context of "welcome". Now the rsvp's are rolling in, and everybodies mother says, Yes we are coming. So I am also stressed out now. I never even thought about these parents wanting to stay. In realalty, i grew up wealthy, and if this situation came up, apsolutly I would assume everyone was paid for. I also think that is the way it should be done. however, i can not afford this and didnt think of it when planning or it would of been held somewhere else. i have asked around and people have been telling me that NO, I should not have to pay for the parent because I offered for them to be dropped off.Either way I am very nervous. I real do not have the money to pay for the parents even if I wanted to. This pool does not have group rates. I did call the pool an ask if I could just give them $100.00 dollars and they let kids in if they say they are there for the party. But, I dont want it ackward for the office either. So, this is my situation and I plan on calling those who have rsvp to thank them and letting them know that just the child is paid for. If any one has a better solution, or thinks this is a terrible idea, please let me know. However i just wanted to put my 2 cents in that everyone's advise has been to not pay for the parent.

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