Hypochondriac Since Becoming a Parent

I had a similar problem after I had my kids. Both times I ended up having "screaming" nightmares about things happening to my kids. I ended up taking Fish oil or Omega 3-6-9 and haven't had a nightmare since September 2007. I hear that the Omega 3-6-9 is good for anxieties and is good brain food. I have also increased my vitamin B intake and that seems to have stabilized me also.

Good luck.

Hi J.,

I think you traveled down a path I might have gone on also -- but my sister, who teaches pediatric and maternity nursing simply yelled at me, and quit listening. And I trusted her, so if she thought "it was nothing", while I might have been miffed with her for not listening, I packed the item away as "nothing". So all that "stuff" didn't have time to fester and grow.

Since you mentioned that therapy doesn't work for you -- I am going to suggest that you try to control the "switch" in your brain that leads you to worrying. let me explain: My 2nd oldest was spending a semester if France in college, when there were riots and car burnings in Paris. I saw it on TV and said to myself, "Should I worry?" I said, "No. She isn't in Paris." Then the car burnings spread to the countryside. I said, "Should I worry now?" I said, "Nope. I know my daugher. She's a momma's girl, and she'll call me if there's something to worry about." A friend of mine asked me if I was worried about her over there, and I said, "I thought about it, but decided Kathy would call me to let me know when it's time to worry." Her response was that she wouldn't have thought about whether to worry or not, she would have just worried Immediately. (Actually, in this reality, Kathy DID call me 2 days later, and SHE was worried -- so we talked about it, and about how to avoid the bus route that went through the troubled neighborhoods, and then I reminded her that the State Dept knew she was there, and her professor from her own college was there, along with 18 other kids. If the State Dept thought they should leave, they would be contacted, and their professor, who had been there many many times with students, would make sure they got out. They were closer to Italy, Austria, Switzerland and maybe even Germnay than they were to Paris, so they had lots of ways to leave the country. At that point, my worryies and fears wouldn't have helped her to cope with the situation, and she didn't really need to worry either; what she needed to do was to take action to remain safe, which she did, and the violence stopped, and when she came home a month later, it was all behind her. :-)

When your baby is born, you hold him and you realize that you are responsible for him. It is, quite frankly, OVERWHELMING ! He is totally dependent upon you. And we do live in a scary world. we live in a world where things come at us quickly, and often we can't begin to fathom the dangers until they hit us square in the face. If you focus on that, you will only worry more and more.

So I think you have to monkey with the "switch" that helps you to decide whether or not to worry. Jesus had some very wise words way back when, "Which of you, by worrying, can add even a millimeter to his height?" Worry isn't productive. It doesn't make us taller or stronger, or better people. And you're right, it steals time from our day -- in your case, up to 4 hours ! And it saps our joy.

Think about the things you CAN control and write them down. Think about the things you caN'T control and write them down. The only one in your son's life who can control all of those things you cannot, is God. So you have to let God be God, and simply allow him his due by being in control of those things. What happens IF your son gets Cancer ? What happens IF he breaks a leg or something ? THEN, you will read up on the type of cancer, and who the best specialists are, and THEN you will pray for him and you will cope with it. Just as you would if he broke a bone-- you would take him to the doctor, get it set and make the repeat visits, until he finished physical therapy and could walk and play happily.

There are things you CAN control. You can control his diet, you can control what he watches on TV (if he watches TV), the toys he plays with, the people who babysit for him. You can control the pediatrician or family practitioner you visit annually with your son. You can create an environment in which he learns to trust in life, and take joy in each day, or you can create an environment for him to live in that is always waiting or the next brick to fall on his head.

DO take charge of what you can control, and when you want to worry -- sbout what you can't control, sit down and take a few good cleansing breaths (from lamaze class -- remember them?) Then remind yourself that you aren't God. God is God. Tell him you are sorry for trying to play God, and that it isn't working. Ask HIM to play God, and ask HIM to help you to give him your worries. Then get out a piece of paper, and write down EVERY good thing you see going on in your son's life and in yours. When you get done, thank God for each of those things. And SMILE because:

#1 You are both healthy
#2 You have a beautiful young man to raise
#3 You are able to stay at home with him
#4 You are able to get online, so even though you are home all day, you do not have to be disconnected from other people
#5: ----Your turn -- get going

When you begin to turn your focus to the positive, you will begin to feel rich. Because there are SO MANY GOOD THINGS out there. Yes, there are troubles out there, too, but we choose which we will focus on. And which will consume us. If we choose to be consumed by the good in life, we will feel bouyed up and ready to cope when the time comes to deal with the traumas.

And, yes, there will be traumas as you raise your son. They will come in their own time, and they might even be little by someone else's standard, but that doesn't mean they aren't trauma to Mom. Yet, even when they come, if you have trained your brain to see the good side, and practiced trusting God for the rest, you will be able to see the good things happening around you, even as you walk through the struggle. And, at that point, walking through trauma and dealing with a "real" trauma is going to be easier than walking through the myriad of worries you are carrying today.

Hang in there, Mom !! You're trying so hard to be a good Mom, and it's because you love your son. Those are both good things. Being a "good" mom is something undefined, and it's hard to measure. So, we just have to be loving moms who do our best to bring up our kids. We can't be perfect moms, and we all have our foibles and we all make mistakes, and we all struggle, but often with different things.

You sound like a smart person, and I know you'll get through this. So keep on keeping on. And open your eyes wide, because there is so much more to see and focus on than the "what if's" of life.

Barb :-)

Do you have faith? Do you partake in an organized religion? Perhaps speak with your priest or religious leader. I would try praying. Ask God to help increase your faith.

You may also want to try a different therapist or a life coach. Maybe try focusing on something else...try a part-time job.

Good luck - watch The Secret in the meantime...you need to fill your head with positive thoughts and try focusing more on your blessings.

I think every woman worries more after becoming a mom. We are our children's protectors and we want to do everything in our power to keep them safe, healthy and happy. Despite our best efforts we can't control everything, but we can control how we deal with issues and ultimately control our happiness. I urge to find another counselor or support group that works for you. If you have a spiritual foundation, turn to it. You obviously know your fears are controlling you. It's not healthy for you or for your child.

I'd like to take a minute to tell you my story in hopes that it might help you to see that even when faced with your fears it is possible move forward. My story isn't necessarily unique, but my family hit a terrible "rough patch" a while back. In October of 2006, my husband got a new job, we moved across state into a new house with our children (at that time 2 1/2 years old and 12 months old), we still owned our previous house and planned to make monthly trips to finish remodeling it so we could sell it. Then on Oct 19, our son was diagnosed with leukemia. With all of that going on I had no idea how I was going to overcome the stress, sadness and worries. Nothing in my life had prepared me for anything like this, but I was surprised to find out that I was stronger than I ever imagined. The first thing I did was listen to the doctors. I couldn't change my son's diagnosis but I could work closely with the doctors to be the best caretaker possible. They would guide me through the medical stuff. The second thing I did was pray. I asked God for strength and guidance to help us all get through this. I had to be strong for my son and nurse him through his treatments. I reminded myself that no matter how scared or stressed I was, he had the worst of it. I also had to care for my infant daughter who was too young to know everything our family was facing. Then, one at a time, my husband and I made plans for how to tackle the other hurdles we were facing.

A year and a half later, we have things under control. Our house is sold and my husband has a steady job. Our son is still going through chemo but he is doing well. He had a few setbacks and hospitalizations, but he pulled through. I still have days where I cry, mostly when I think back to the beginning of his illness, but I’m happy to say that our good days out-number our bad days. To cope, I remember how far we have come and that we have many things to be thankful for - our son's progress, our daughter's wonderful personality, my husband's job, our families, etc. Focusing on the positive helps provide balance during the stressful times. One saying that helps me keep things in perspective is “God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.” These are the words I try to live by.

In a nutshell, I guess what I'm trying to say is that we can't control everything, but we can choose how to cope with our issues. If you can find a way to accept that, then your fears won’t control you and you can live more peacefully. Please don’t give up your search to find something that will help you.

I have a friend who is the same way!! She takes an herb called Holy Basil and it really helps her.

I used to worry more than I do now and the difference is my faith. I have spent many hours talking and reading things that are faith based that truly comfort me when I worry needlessly about my kids. All was well and then my son was diagnosed with Epilepsy. It has taught me HUGE life lessons. First, you have no control over certain things...only God does. Second, anything in life that stresses me pales in comparison to what we have been through with my son. There is no way of predicting the future or avoiding it. Say a prayer to help you through it and lean on someone who is willing to let you lean!!

What you need to do is just calm down its ok to worry about things but to a extent....you need to not worry about everything cause then your missing out on life n having fun n enjoying the time you have with your son....you need to just live your life to the fullest n have fun while you can cause you never know what the next day will bring...i am too a worryer so much i cant sleep at night but i never ever let it bring me down.....you gotta try not to overanalyze lil things like bumps, bruises, etc....its ok to worry about ur son having things but if hes not sick in anyways showing affecting him daily dont worry about it and same with you
also if say u ever get sick he will never forget you even if hes 2 he knows his mommy and no one will ever let him forget you but dont even worry cause your fine just gotta stop worrying, have you ever thought other than this board find like a yahoo or msn group where u can talk to other people that feel the same way n maybe they can help ya out...you cant change anything that will happen if he or u does get sick ...everything happens for a reason
heres a quote for u
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

I have been the exact same way, except only with myself, not necessarily with my little girl, who btw is 2 also. I had to have a c-section and every little ache and pain is summerized in my book by something deadly - and I, just like you, constantly worry about leaving my 2 year old w/o a Mommy. I know it's rediculous but sometimes I find myself getting into panic mode, where I have to hurry and go jump in the tub thinking it'll relieve the tension - I did that the other night at 3am!! It's insane! I've even been leary about breathing in cleaning fluids while I'm cleaning - I've never been like this & since I've had my child, it's gotten progressively worse. I think I could tell you every single stomach disease/diagnosis out there as much research that I do on this computer. It's become an obsession almost. I'm missing out - my husband takes my daughter to the park, but I don't want to go b/c earlier that day I had a massive migraine, and I have to stay home thinking I have some underlying tumor or brain hemorrage...And the sad part is that I know I'm missing out on my child, I know I've become a hypochondriac over these 2 years - I just don't know what to do or how to control this rediculous behavior. So to answer your question, no you're not the only one.

I can't remember when, but it seems that I had times, especially in my early twenties, when I had out of control anxiety-producing thoughts, too. Being a first-time mom is a time that is also full of firsts, unknowns, and, of course, a new and sometimes overwhelming sense of responsibility. Maybe it's just a matter of coming to terms with the inherent danger in life, and having faith in your innate abilities to handle whatever comes? Maybe you believe the thoughts are protecting you and your baby? Or maybe you believe that they make you a good mother, or that you'd be considered a poor mother if you didn't worry? It sounds like you're very tired of the worrying and could use a break. It'd be great if you could find a way to give yourself permission to stop. Then you could use some techniques to help the process along. One thing I'd try is saying, "No!" to the thought, and then replacing it with some other 'good thought' - something that I'd chosen ahead of time, even one about a creative project I was working on. If you could control your anxiety, you would also be able to convey more peace and warmth to your child. Being preoccupied to such an extent keeps you from being fully present. If you feel you're always looking at him clinically, he may grow to feel that there's something wrong with him, or he may learn to feel anxious about life, too. The fact is the world is a dangerous place, but if you think about it all the time, you bite off more than your fair share. If you can, make a deal with yourself that you won't worry about things until they actually happen and then have faith that you will find the help you need to work through whatever may come your way. I hope that helps some!

What is great about your letter, is that you know and admit to having a problem. Which means you're already able to sort of stand back and stop yourself in a way, even though it's a constant battle because you do it all the time, meaning again and again and again all day.
You need to sincerely look at yourself and your child with the feeling of thankfulness that you are healthy and well. If anything horrible happens, you WILL catch it, so don't worry- you don't have to constantly scan for it.
In the morning when you first wake up, say a prayer, meditation, affirmation, whatever your comfortable with like, "Thank you for this beautiful day and the strong healthy bodies of my beautiful son and I. Please grant me courage and wisdom to handle anything that comes along, and thank you for this moment." Or something like that. Whenever you find yourself descending into fear or obsessing, take a deep breath and repeat this to yourself. When you find yourself looking worriedly at your son, say out loud to him, "You are so handsome and strong, I love you! We are so lucky to have everything we have and be healthy." Then go out and do something healthy, take a walk, etc and fix a healthy snack. Be pro active.
You may want to read 'A New Earth' to learn how to rid yourself of anxiety relating to hypothetical future situations. You can practice getting present, breathing deep and realizing everything is fine right now a thousand times a day until it becomes natural. But if you aren't good at doing self help things like that, you may need hypnotism to break your addiction to worry.
I really pray you can conquer this, it's such a terrible thing to pass on to your son-a self obsession and feeling of dread. My friend is 50 years old and a hypochondriac who goes to the doctor a few times per week and is home sick the rest of the time. He always gets fired from jobs for missing too much work, and I know it's because his mother was all about illnesses and possible illnesses when he was a child.
Also, it's easy to worry too much and get in a bubble when you are home alone with your child too much. Maybe you two should get out and do a little volunteering for people in need. Just to remind yourselves how good you have it, and feel the reward of reaching out.
I know how you feel about triggers by seeing diseases. I had a similar reaction to the Amish shooting and haven't been able to shake the random crime fear I have-but the methods I use above and praying and being grateful in the moment help me conquer my fears. Good luck to you!
a m y
Thank you so much for sharing this, blessings to you and your beautiful HEALTHY child!

J.,
I too feel this way at times. Do you ever have time to yourself to do something you love on a regular basis? Or just go out alone without your child? Sometimes I think this can refresh you, and perhaps help your brain to stop dwelling on these things. Anxiety and depression go hand in hand, maybe you want to reconsider taking something. Zoloft or something like that. I took it before I was pregnant and had to wean off, but it definitely helped me to notice how much needless worrying I was doing before I was on it. It showed me everything is ok and really helped me to relax. I worried all of the time like you. I come from a family of worriers. I am not on Zoloft now because I am breastfeeding. I found new ways to cope. Do you have a good support system, a husband, friend, or someone you can call and talk to about this, even vent when your worrying alot. It's so important to talk about it. Don't keep it all bottled up.

Find some time to your self to do something you love and that makes you feel good, it will have a positive effect on you. Remind yourself constantly that these worries are due to your anxiety, and the probability of these things being true are so small. You are doing all you can for your child and have faith that he will be strong and healthy throughout his life because of his Great mommy!

Sometimes I find my self worrying alot about illness because I have had alot in my family. Is this the case with you?

Another thing I have done, is I try to keep as much positive in my life. Read some books about positive thinking to help retrain your thoughts, do something that makes YOU happy on a regular basis (take some photos, go shopping, get your hair done, make some plans that will give you something fun to look forward to)

You really do have controll over your thoughts and your happiness, it just takes time to re-train your brain. I listened to a tape that is all about positive affirmations. I don't remember who it was by, but it helped me to think about things in a whole new way. I remind myself of this whenever I get depressed or worry alot about things.

Focus on the beauty in your life. You have a wonderful little child to enjoy. Everything will be ok, and if something goes wrong you will get through it. Best of luck to you. I feel for you.

There has got to be something that you can take.... something. I have general anxiety disorder (so do a lot of people) and take something for it. Get 2nd or 3rd or 4th opinions before this ruins your life. I wish you the best of luck.
Chris

I feel like I am the same way. I was fine until my daughter had a seizure at 15 months old and now she will be 2 this month and I can't stop thinking about horrible things that may happen to my 2 children. I have not had a good night sleep since July and I can't stop thinking of all the bad things that could happen to my kids. I keep saying that I am going to talk to my doctor but I never do because I am afraid he will think I am crazy. I almost feel relieved that someone else out there has these same feelings. My 4 year old son told me his leg hurt and I right away thought he had bone cancer! Looking back I know that it is overreacting but at the time I can't stop thinking the worst.

Look up Recovery Inc. on the internet and go to the nearest meeting. It is for people who have anxiety and it will do wonders to help your "work it down". The meetings are free and they will give you a way without medication to gain back control of your thoughts.

I've seen it work wonders for so many people....

Hi J.,
I, too, am a worrywart. I have a 9-month old son, and since he was born there has been a definite change in what I worry about. I have never had many nightmares, but now I do have them sometimes, and they are usually related to something happening to my son. I think worrying is normal for a mom, but it sounds like it is taking over your life. That's not a good thing. When I am super worried about something or scared, I pray. There is a verse in the Bible that says "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but he has given us a spirit of power, love and a sound mind." I say that verse to myself (I actually sing it, cause I know a song), because it reminds me that:
1. I'm not alone (God is with me)
2. God cares about me
3. God doesn't want me to be fearful
4. God has equipped me with power, love and a sound mind to not worry because I can trust in Him
5. God is in control, not me
I also have my husband pray with me if I can't shake the worry. It's definitely a process for me, but I know that I have the worry tendency and may have been in your shoes if not for my faith in Jesus. That's where I find my solutions. I'll be praying that you find yours.
P.S. All those things I stated next to the numbers apply to you, too. Now, go enjoy that son of yours. What a gift! :)

If you have a good church...stick with it. If you don't, then find one.

A scripture verse for you says to "Bring EVERY thought into captivity to the mind of Christ." (Would HE think all of that stuff?)

Those thoughts are torturing you with fear. If you should happen to have a problem, you would be too upset to handle it.

"All the stuff I worried about yesterday didn't happen anyway!" :)

Smile, and be happy. Your baby (and everyone else) will like you better!

Me too! It's an anxiety thing and if you can't take anything for it, you have to stay busy and healthy. Fruits, veggies, and exercise have to dominate your day! Eat organic when you can, if only to give you that great feeling from eating something pure. It can alleviate the mental stress you put on yourself. Decide to make a change and pat yourself on the back, a lot!

Good luck!

It sounds a little bit of the first time over proctective mom syndrom to me. Have another child and it shall pass. you got to much free time on your mind right now.
Good Luck!
K. B

J.,
I think all mothers tend to obsess about their kids and what would happen to them if something happens to the mom. The best advice I ever received regarding worry is this: It's never the stuff you spend time worrying about that actually happens. It's always the stuff that comes out of left field and smacks you in side of head like a baseball bat! Think about it--it really IS true! Life is too short to spend these precious times with your son worrying. Enjoy every minute. God Bless.

Because of the explosion of information available to parents today, most are worrying more than usual. Also most information is not about healthy babies, but about problem babies. But realize the vast majority of babies ARE healthy. Take you child to his regular check-ups and quit exposing yourself to heath problems of children. "Therapy" may be useless, but therapy comes in all kinds of ways. For example, it comes through talking with mature friends and responsible relatives for assurance. It does not necessarily involve a professional.Most importantly, pray. Ask God to take away your fears and give you the aurance you need to take care of your child. Best Regards

It seems you are suffering from anxiety. I'm not an expert so you should see one.
I dont believe in taking a pill and having it all go away. Medicine should be temporary.
If therapy does nothing then you are not seeing the right therapist. You need someone who believes you can be cured of this and who is not just interested in having you sit and spill your guts!
You need someone who is willing to teach you things you can do when the anxiety comes. Depression and anxiety are curable! You have to take care of yourself physically and find a therapists who is willing to teach you coping techniques not just sit and rehash old problems. That only does so much good as it never brings about a solution.
I have taken some mood mangemnt classes that were a group therapy approach and my life has never been the same again. It wasnt willpower that cured me it was arming myself with the right skills to live with my depression and anxiety.
This is the manual they based my mood management class on.
http://www.amazon.com/Training-Treating-Borderline-Person...
good luck

Hi, I don't have any personal experience with this, but my suggestion would be to focus on changing your behaviour (not your attitude). Start small & praise yourself for each positive thing you do. For example, when you find yourself researching symptoms on the internet, stop yourself & go do something you enjoy. Do some scrapbooking or go for a walk, take your child to the park, whatever. Just pick something that gets you away from the computer. You might not be able to stop thinking about possible illnesses, but at least you won't be finding more to worry about. Over time you might find yourself so distracted by the fun you are having that you don't worry about it anymore.
Another recomendation: visit www.flylady.com. She has a great outlook on life & you might be able to adapt her ideas/thought process to your situation. Her sight is mostly for cleaning your house & organizing your life, but I think the thought process she promotes might help you.
Good luck.

I'm very sorry that you've been this way, because you've probably missed out on some simple, beautiful things with your child because of your obsessions. I know that you said you can't take meds and therapy does nothing, but I think you need to try again. It sounds to me like you've got some form of OCD, and if a psychiatrist can help you find a med that works for you to focus you, then you may be able to start working out why you've become this way, and eventually get off the meds. Please try to find more help, because pretty soon this is really going to affect your relationship with your son when you get to the point that you don't let him do anything for fear of him getting hurt or catching something. Good luck to you.

J.,
I think you have answered your own questions. You are aware of the problem and now you need a plan of action. You have eliminated therapy and psych drugs as solutions, so you have to go from there.
How about a holistic-type doctor-- look for a DO rather than an MD? Ask for a COMPLETE blood workup testing for every deficiency/hormonal imbalance they can think of. Ask for a copy of the results so YOU can study it and research on your own. Borderline normal for most people could mean abnormal/low for you.
Search the internet ( like the Yahoo groups) for people with similar hypochondria. Some may have traveled this path and have some answers.
It really sounds you may have a physical chemical imbalance in your system- especially if it has gotten worse after your body systems were altered by childbirth. The hard part is figuring out what it is, and for that, you will need to educate yourself and experiment and journal very carefully.
Good luck. It is a long slow path , but as you know, you MUST do it or you will damage your son's confidence with your constant paranoia. I think you also already know that, so take care of yourself so you can take good care of him.
Dottie-- mom and grandmom

WOW, you need medication! LOL
honestly, you need to stop the obesessive thoughts...
see your Dr. for something.......

J.-
i think all moms worry about thier kids, and then also about themselves in relation to thier kids. but it sounds like your worry has become a huge source of anxiety in your life. i can tell, because it takes a lot of guts to put all that private information out there for perusal.
i imagine you don't have much fun with your son anymore, because you're always on the lookout for a new symptom, or anything that you may have missed in the past. i see you're a sahm. do you have any time or activities that are just for you? i'm not saying that you should put him in daycare or anything like that, but even just an hour a week for just you can make a world of difference. even though you're not "working on the problem" per se, you're giving yourself some downtime from the worry. you say that you can't take any psych meds, and that therapy doesn't work. have you tried seeing more than one therapist? i know when i started therapy, i saw 3 different people before i found one who i was comfortable with. therapy is such an individual thing, and you have to be comfortable w/ the person you talk to for anything to happen. just a few things i've found helpful for me in my stuggle w/ my own mental illness. (not that i'm trying to label you as anything) email me or message if you want to talk. i hope you find relief from this anxiety soon. you'll have so much more fun w/ your wonderful little boy that way.

J.-
It is natural for you to experience what you are feeling. Life changes have that affect on us. Sometimes a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Please trust your mommy-sense. It will not let you down. You may not know what is wrong with your child but you will know when something is more than cold or an injury without blood which requires medical attention. Your Mommy-radar will go off.

In the meantime, find someone you can use a sounding board when you have these concerns. Someone you trust. Tell them your concerns, listen when they reassure you things are all right then let the problem go. If at later date, you still feel strongly that something is wrong revisit. Doing it alone is scary, none of us do it alone.

Hi!! I've never had these specific issues; but I was on antidepressants because my kids drove me crazy - I had 3 boys in 4 years. I eventually got off of them. I take yoga and this has had tremendous effects on my thinking and it so calming I can't even describe it in words. I have a very good friend who was getting just like you. Hypochondriac, which turned into anxiety, looking every thing upon the computer like you. I've got her going to yoga with me and it has helped her tremendously. Her husband now pushes her out the door to go to yoga because she is such a happier person. Just a thought!!!

There is a very good book that I have read that helps to deal with anxiety and worry. It is called Learning to Tell Yourself the Truth, by Dr. Backus. You can get this book out from the library. I know this sounds weird, reading a book, but read it and you may find that it really does help. Take your time to read and absorb what he is saying.

I freak out too. I think a certain amount of it is normal, and I've accepted that I'm more neurotic than most. Accept it, and try to get control over it. Other moms worry too. Don't worry about worrying to much. That's just making it worse. Odds are in all of our favors that our kids will turn out fine, but I work in a hospital so I worry about random crazy things too.

Hi J.. I have to admit that when I became a parent the first time I too was struck by my own mortality. Suddenly you realize that you're not gonna live forever, and you worry. I too wondered what would happen if I died...what would my daughter (now daughters) have of me, know of me, and think of me. That's when I began to seriously journal. Now I'm not talking about jotting down the daily events although those are important. My journals are written for my girls. They are full of my thoughts, poetry I have written myself or have read that mean something to me. Lyric of songs that have special meaning, (artist and year noted), major events in the world or US and all my feelings about them. I have written thousands of words of advice I want them to have, recipies that have been used in my family and my husbands family for generations. History about both families, random thoughts, fears, moments of joy fill the pages and the volumes as well. My hubby knows and has always known that the journals are for the girls....someday.

For me this has been one of the best things I could do to fight the fear and keep from obessing about events that I have no control over. Like the Oklahoma City bombing that happened when my oldest was a baby, like September 11 in NYC when my older two were in school and I watched the second plane hit the second tower live on the TODAY show holding my youngest in my arms. I think, if most of us are honest that when we become parents we learn what fear is. The trick is to keep it from taking over our lives and coloring the life that we want for our children. You can either keep feeding the fear or use that energy to do something constuctive for yourself and your child.

Get off those internet medical web sites. Qiut looking for illness where there isn't any...if it happens you will deal, until then use your energy and focus on something worthy of it. It's hard to break the habbit of fear that you have in place, but with determination you can change and I hope you do. You don't want your child to live in fear and become fearfull. Best wishes.

You could be me a few years ago...though I still do fall back into my hypochondria when I am stress (I have stress induced anxiety which spikes my hypo-ness).
I took Prozac and it helped - though that was more for my anxiety/depression when I lost my Nana. I only took it for 3 months because I did not want to live on meds if I did not have to. It helped me start/work through some of my grieving...got moving again so I could get the help I needed.

Hypnotherapy. Regular therapy did some help, but hypnotherapy worked wonders!! I would advise looking into it. You can have your own session(s) and they will work on YOUR issues. PM me if you want. I will try finding the woman's info who I used if you are interested. I was VERY nervous about hypnotherapy...afraid of "opening doors" that did not need open, but I can tell you it was worth it.

Oh gosh... I've been there. Not at the same time (something similar happened to me during/after a very stressful time in my life) but sounds almost exactly the same. I also developed debilitating physical symptoms. The ONLY thing that worked for me was taking meds for anxiety. I started on Paxil, since I had taken that before, and now just take 20 mg. of Prozac and it works wonders!! My life changed completely in a matter of a couple of weeks. You CAN'T continue like this- it is no way to live!! If I were you, I would consult with a good psychiatrist (I love mine, if you'd like his info.). I'm not saying you're crazy- I just know where you are, and I know how much better life can be.

Don't think you are crazy honey, all I can say is worrying comes with the territory. I am also a super worrier, and my anxiety and hypochondria peaked before my daughter was born. But since her arrival my hypochondria has focused solely on her and my husband. I understand what you are going through! And it is hard to deal with. Throw the worrying on top of the everyday job of being a mother and you have a recipe for a mental break down.

With that being said every mothers child is her world and she would go to the far reaches of galaxy just to make them smile. It is human nature to want to protect your child from everything that means them harm. Also being a first time mother myself I found that every little thing catches your eye and makes you wonder "what if?" It only takes one thing...a bump a bruise or weird looking diaper rash. And that turns into sleepless nights web MD and a nervous breakdowns. It's tiring and the stress alone kills your mind body and spirit.

I am struggling with the same thing but I am trying to take steps to overcome the anxiety and hypochondria. First I think of my daughter and what she means to me, then I think about how my worrying is putting a damper on my relationship with her. I am missing all the beautiful time I spend with her because I am so chalked full of worry I am missing what's important. I Try to stay sane by giving myself a break every evening to unwind and relax, its important for you to have time for yourself. Just do something you like to do for an hour or however long you like. Give yourself time to breath and relax your mind. Maybe take up a little hobby that you can do while your son is sleeping in the evenings. Also do something for yourself go get your hair done or a mani pedi. And a good support system is crucial.

You are a mother and by right you worry as do we all, but there is such a thing as over worrying. That being said you are a smart woman you know your child if something is wrong take him to the doctor really that's the only thing you can do, I am spry to say but the doctor is truly the only person that can determine if there is something to worry about . That's what you pay him for, so any questions or concerns contact him or her. NO MORE WEB MD or Google anything!!! The worst thing you can do is look up symptoms online because in three clicks you have cancer. You don't need the stress and you don't need anymore sleepless nights.

I understand where you are coming from I know what you are going through I hope my babble helps you in some way shape or form. I am still trying to overcome my fears and anxiety. But it is a day to day battle and we need to keep fighting for our selves and for our children. we need to start trusting our instincts when it comes to our mothering abilities.
Give yourself a break!!! you will survive honey. :)

I'm not sure why you can not take any meds - but there are alot out there and it really sounds like you need a little help relaxing and calming your mind. It is interesting that you know your problem and acknowledge it. With that being said, I strongly suggest you see a MD, but, until you get there, and probably after, I think you should practice positive thinking. When you think these bad thoughts STOP them and then FORCE yourself to think of something positive - something you love about your son, something you are grateful for (he is beautiful - you have a roof over your head, etc.) Now, keep in mind you will have to do this a million times a day, but if you know what you are doing, you can turn it around and start thinking in the right direction.