Hyperactive Child Vs. Normal Terrible 2S

Updated on February 10, 2008
S.L. asks from Roseville, CA
40 answers

My oldest son is almost 2 years old and is very active. He has endless amounts of energy and sometimes I wonder if he has ADHD or something. If he is tired he is a little stinker and he has a hard time listening. We started them in a new daycare and he is so wild compared to the other kids, I am worried that he won't make it there. Is there signs of hyperactive children this young or do I need to just wait it out to see if there is improvement when he gets past this stage. Thanks

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V.W.

answers from San Francisco on

He needs more activity... my daughter was the same at his age.... I put her in dance and ice skating.... She is 17 and still dancing... sometimes I would take her to a track and just let her run....

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V.B.

answers from Fresno on

I would eliminate all sugar, processed meats, foods with additives. Stick to fruits, veggies, fresh meats. If behavior continues, get him tested! My grandson started this way and by age 5 we were desparate and going through hell. We found out he could not tolerate sugar and was ADHD. Behavioral therapy and diet changes did the trick. I do not recommend Ritalin or other drugs. They only lead to other problems. Be firm.

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C.A.

answers from Sacramento on

All I can say is that I also have 2 boys under 2 and my two-year-old is the same way. I just chalk it up to him being two, and competing with his younger brother and older sister for a attention. Boy, does he drive me nuts though!!! I feel for you.

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T.A.

answers from San Francisco on

S.,

As a mother of a VERY active and energetic son, plus a Special Educator (specialized in Learning Disabilies and Emotional Bahavioral Disorders), my words of wisdom are "relax your son is normal"! Quit worrying, he's a boy and boys are more physical than verbal. Don't try to change him, just get him involved in activities that interest him and where he can use his energy in a positive way(gymnastics, sports, tag, etc.).

As for being a stinker and not a great listener when tired, he's two. I'm 30 and the same way, if I don't get a good nights sleep I know I'm not my best and more likely to snap, how about you?! He may need to take two short naps instead of one or the other way around. My son took two naps until he was in his 3s and now he take one 1-2 hour nap almost daily.

There are signs of ADHD and ADD, but at 2 a Dr. would be crazy to give a diagnosis of either of those. Please, just enjoy both of your boys for who they are and quit worrying about who they aren't (have realistic expectations).

I'm sure you're exhausted, working part-time, having two under the age of 3, and worrying about things you shouldn't. Relax, observe and take in the joy that radiates from your kids, and kiss your husband a couple extra times...you have a lot to be thankful for!

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S.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Don't be so quick to put him as ADHD. My youngest son is 7 and has been very active his whole life. He does well academically and all though still active which bothers his teachers he still gets all the lessons. Try a couple of books that were recommended to me that will help with some perspective as it sure helped me. Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and The Little Boy by Sheila Moore and Roon Frost. Your boy may seem extreme but there are many out there just like him who take on life to the fullest. If they give you push back at the school stand your ground. I have 2 boys as well and there is never a dull moment. They both have some of the characteristics described in Raising Your Spirited Child. I know it is tiring but the energy just can't be contained.

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L.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi S.,
How much sleep is he getting? There have been a lot of studies done that indicate children who don't get enough sleep at the correct times have behavior like what you are describing. Dr. Weissbluth, who wrote "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" recommends an early bedtime around 6pm with at least one nap for min. of 1 hr daily for most 2yr olds. I have found that my daughter gets very spastic and hyper if she isn't sleeping enough. She is 2 1/2 and sleeps 11-12 hrs each night. I HIGHLY recommend reading this book. I don't think your son has ADD, he may be just a normal tired little boy.
Sincerely,
L.

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S.G.

answers from Spokane on

My two year old nephew exhibited the exact same kind of "stinkerness", and we all thought it just couldn't be that terrible twos everyone had told us about... the kid just couldn't quiet down, but then when we'd give him an activity, he couldn't concentrate on it. We took him to a doctor, and instead of diagnosing him with ADHD, he suggested that we try one by one taking things out of his diet (high fructose corn syrup, which is in almost everything! even apple juice and pizza crust!), anything with artificial dyes, and getting rid of whatever cleaning products we could do without, especially bleach and lysol products. A friend of mine came in right at the opportune time, and helped me switch our shared household's products completely over to natural cleaners (and I mean everything, shampoo, bubble bath, lotion, everything!), and in about 4 months, he has become the cutest, most angelic little two year old. I can't say enough about how wonderful this doctor's suggestions worked. He believes my nephew is hypersensitive to chemicals, which a lot of kids are these days, and I think he's right! When we go somewhere like the supermarket or a fast food restaurant, anywhere someone is using cleaning products, he starts to act up again. I've noticed myself being a lot more calm these days as well, since I've adopted his diet and treatment into our whole household. You might give it a try. :-D S. G [email protected]____.com

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S.W.

answers from Sacramento on

My daughter has been "active" since she was in the womb. What I have found is that changing her eating patterns and cutting down sugar helps immensely. She is now 7 yrs old, but for the past 6 years, we have fed her after she wakes, low sugar and fair portions of carbs and protein. Then she is off to play, school etc., then she rests or sleeps after burning off the calories, etc. The cycle of feed - activity - sleep (this is a method advocated by pediatricians) and keeping the sources of hidden sugars, and sugar additives down to a minimum has helped out. When she is "off" this cycle or has had too much sugar (cake, candy, ice cream, at a birthday party, etc.) we see the big difference.

It doesn't help that at the age of 2, most children begin to strut their "independence" and want to be a "big kid" who is trapped in a toddler body, not to mention they do not have the means to really communicate what they want. Not feeding the tantrums or showing your frustration (ignoring the tantrums and/or telling them that doing that action will not get them possive results) will teach your toddler that the tantrum isn't working to get their way :o)

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L.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.,

I thought the same about my son who is now 7. He always seemed much more active and challenging than the other kids, always pushed the limits and never stopped talking after he turned 2. From the moment he woke up until he went to sleep, he was a ball of energy.
Now he's an extremely intelligent, inquisitive, compassionate 7 year old. He still has the same energy and I've learned to embrace it. It's still challenging but has gotten much easier. I'm thankful that I was and continue to be a stay at home mom and that I had lots of support from his preschool and other parents.
I was told that he couldn't be assessed until K or 1st grade for ADHD. So you may have to wait anyway. Just surround yourself w/ supportive people. Allow the space and time for both of you to enjoy his energy.

Good luck,
L.

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K.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Your two year old does NOT have ADD - two year olds are the epitome of what would be characterized as "ADD", and that is NORMAL for that age. You cannot diagnose a toddler with ADD or ADHD because they are still mostly baby and less a child - they do not reason, they do not think before the act, speak, or move and they have little to no control over themselves and their emotions.... BECAUSE THEY ARE 2 YEARS OLD, not because something is wrong with them! They are supposed to not be able to sit still or control themselves - that's why toddlers need parents and cannot be released to live in the larger world like other animals who's young leave the safety of their parent's care when only a few months, or years, old.
Leave the ADD thing alone - your child is 2, enough said. However, you need to make sure that your two year old understands the concept of rules in your home. He needs to have a clear picture of cause and effect when it comes to his behavior, and you need to make sure that you DO discipline him when it is appropriate, and make sure he knows that you are in charge and that there are boundaries for acceptable behavior both in your home and outside of it. I have a terrible 2 -er: she has a HORRIBLE temper, loves to throw tantrums for the smallest thing, and can be a terror just as often as she is cute and charming. But she knows that I have my limits, and that she will only be allowed to go "so far" with her behavior before consequences are met out. She understands the boundaries of what is acceptable both in and out of our home, and she crosses them often - but I never bend to her will so she knows VERY clearly what will happen if she crosses the line. I have left full grocery carts in the store, left my merchandise at the counter at the mall many times in order to throw my screaming two year old over my shoulder to leave, and have been known to drag my child kicking and screaming down the street when she darts off near busy streets during out walks. And while she is absolutely off the walls with her amount of energy and tries daily to cross the line, test my limits, and cause chaos it is only because she is two, and that is normal and totally appropriate for her age.
So, your child is a normal two year old. Trust me. His behavior is normal for many children his age, and it is your job to make sure he understands that there will always be rules and boundaries where ever he happens to be --- wether not he chooses to follow those rules is another story, but they do grow out of it eventually.

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B.J.

answers from San Francisco on

It is very difficult to diagnose ADHD until much later. Age 2 is far too early to make such a diagnosis. His lack of listening may be due to exhaustion/sleep deprivation. I am a huge sleep advocate. I suggest getting him down for a much earlier nap, before he gets to that tired/cranky/not listening stage. In comparing him to other daycare kids, you must be very careful, also, to take into consideration his sleep needs, whether or not he's getting adequate nutrition, and whether or not he has good solid guidelines and consistent discipline. Consistency is really the key. A 2-minute time out will do wonders, for both of you. And if he's too active to sit alone, you can do the time out with him in your arms, until he's able to listen again. If, after you've addressed all of his needs and met them, if he's still having troubles when he gets closer to pre-K age, then you can take him to a nueropsychologist for an evaluation. Best of luck to you!

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J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Don't jump to ADHD so fast! The attention span for a two year old is very short, and boys have LOTS of energy! My cousin has a 5 year old who is as we call him, “5 handfuls”. We call these children "spirited children". Pay close attention to the amount of starches and sugars in his foods, especially his snacks. You may be surprised at how much he is getting. This includes if you give him juice or other sugary liquids too. Two is a good time to start an activity like gymnastics if you have not already. It will give you tools and ideas to do at home too to keep activity controlled but plenty.
A great book; http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Percept...
You will want to tear your hair out, you will have sitters not return your phone calls, and you will start giving yourself time outs, but it is worth it. My cousin is almost 6 and he is finally starting to calm and control his own behavior.
Good luck!!

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C.R.

answers from Modesto on

I am a mother of two. my son is 12,and my daughter is 7. My son is adhd. the way I found out is when he was in school and the teachers had a hard time with him paying attention and fallowing directions.I started off by take.ing him to the doctor usualy that is the best way to find out for sure if your son is adhd or not. I went through alot with him when he was younger. they say things like coffee and tea help. cause caffeen helps them actually calm down. some times it's behavior issues that may make him out of controll or not listen. my son has decided this year he is in 7th grade he was tired of takeing pills and is doing well so I do believe they grow out of it.I do believe it has alot to do with thier diet to so be carefull what sugar contents and I herd any thing with red dies, like red juice or things containing red food color. also daycares find daycares that specify in adhd kids you will be suprized how many more kids are the same way.

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J.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Dear S.,
Wow 2 boys under 2! Sounds like you have your hands full! ADD and ADHD are horrible labels that teachers put on ''hyperactive'' children simply because they have more trouble controlling them. If the teacher says this to you, he/she will probably ask you to have your little boy put on drugs. ADD ADHD drugs are narcotics that just numb you child's senses to make him less active. There is no test to prove that "ADD/ADHD children" have anything wrong with their brain or nervous system. Its just a way of saying "This child is active and has trouble sitting all day." Children are supposed to be active! Its all very natural! I am sure your son is wondering why he has to sit still for ''the big teacher lady'' when he has all this energy! Its a good idea to have him do something active like ice skating classes or just take him to a park in the day. I hope this helps! Good luck with your boys! The "terrible 2's" can be a great time to work on your relationship with your sons! Remember, it's a tough time for them too!
~J.
PS. my brother and I were very active as children and my mother home schooled us when school became to difficult. It might be good to hire someone to be with them instead of putting them in daycare.

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G.P.

answers from Modesto on

I have a son who is adhd. When he was small, he showed no signs. If he sits on the couch and gets up a few seconds later, he must be. Impulsiveness is a sign. Check out google and search for adhd. You can have him see a pyshologist and they can tell you. My son is now 15, he has emotional problems so he is my handful.
I tried medicines that didn't work. Sometimes kids are doing it for attention. Sugar and caffeine makes them more hyper. Good luck.

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J.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Sounds like a regular two year old to me. Most of them have difficulty listening when they are tired, if you think it falls outside the realm of normal here are a few things to try out. Eliminate media... ie: t.v. movie etc. This usually is the first thing that sends a toddlers nervous system out of wack. Eliminate sugar! Wow , what a difference I saw in my own kids. And if you still don't see some shifting try calling The Raphael House for a check up with their ped. MD Their number is ###-###-####

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T.S.

answers from Chico on

Hi,
I wanted to respond to your posting. I'm an elementary teacher and deal with a lot of students with ADHD. While I've never had a student this young, I can give you a few tips that I look for with my students. Usually, the first thing I look for is can the students sit still for twenty minutes? (Which is a long time for a two year old). You have to take into account a time limit that would work for your two year old maybe 5-8 minutes? If he can sit still in an activity that he enjoys without being distracted, it usually means that it's not ADHD. Now, please remember that each child is different and this is only an initial measure that I use to get a feel for the child, there are a battery of tests that the child will go through with the school psychologist before we send them to the doctor. I hope that I have helped you and not just confused you.

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K.N.

answers from Chico on

I have a son with ADHD and he was very active from a young age also. Unfortunately it cannot be diagnosed until age 5 or above when he is in school. Some remidies you could do now are change his diet to more veggies and fruits, limit all sugar intake. No soda, Crystal Light tastes just like Kool-Aid but without the sugar. Sugar Free Jello pudding cups are good too. Keep him on a schedule and follow it all the time, even on holidays and weekends. Make sure he gets at least 10 hrs of sleep a night. (My son goes to sleep about 8:30 and is up around 6:30 or 7am which is good because school starts at 8:30.) Limit TV, computer and video game time because it aggravates kids with ADHD and makes things worse. I hope this helps and take it easy on yourself. Don't stress out when he acts up because if he sees you stressing out it makes things worse. Time outs are good for both of you if that happens. We ended up using medication along with everything above and it works. He is almost 8 and doing well in school. He plays sports and has lots of friends. Good luck and hope this helps you.
K.

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L.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I wouldn't worry too much, he is after all only 2 and he has a brother who is younger than him. He could just be acting out to get attention, if you are really concerned go and talk to your son's peditritian, he will give you the best advice.

I am the mom of two, my daughter is 6 and my son is almost 4.

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D.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.,
Check out the book, "The Out of Sync Child." It has checklists that may help you. Also activities, resources etc.
D.
Mom and Grandma
Retired elementary and early childhood teacher
CranioSacral Therapist

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

S.,
Try changing his diet. There are many diets you can try to change his energy level. He could be allergic to anything...making him act out. He also could be perfectly normal too. you didn't say that he has any anger problems or impulse control issues....sounds like he is just a wild boy. I have 3 boys, one of them being really wild. you mentioned you had another baby...Maybe your two year old needs more attention from you? Maybe he gets his attention from you when acting crazy??...Good Luck. Most of us have been there before. I'm sure he is fine, as long as he isn't hurting other children..who cares how active he is, would you rather have an active n fun child, or a boring child? :) hehe.
good luck.

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B.C.

answers from San Francisco on

He is not hyperactive. He is a normal boy. I have a 5 yr old who acted the same way at that age. He loves to be outdoors 24/7 even in the rain. Maybe more athletic activities will help your son and your sanity.
Best of luck, Ms. B., married 10 yrs, son 5 yrs, daughter 2 years.

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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Keep a food-behavior chart for five days to rule out any possible food allergies. Some kids get wild from eating certain things. Sugar and hidden sugars (corn syrup) are obvious culprits. It will be obvious if there is a correlation. Other than that, I'd defer to the pediatrician on this one and other mama advice.

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A.H.

answers from Sacramento on

My little girl is just like that too! She is three. & her best little buddy who is a boy and also three is the same way.

I noticed that you said "if he is tired", that is exactly how it is for my little girl.

We've also found that it is worse during the prime allergy season, because she is tired all the time when her allergies are acting up.

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P.W.

answers from Redding on

My son is seven years old and he has ADHD. My mom told me when he was two that he did and I thought that she was crazy. If you continue to feel this way as he get older, don't just trust one doctors opinion. There is a clinic at UCSF called the HALP clinic. They do a complete evaluation, which will be useful information as you begin working with the schools.

Another great person is Jan Paulus. She works locally.

We medicated our son for a couple of years, however, we have not medicated him since last May.

I apologize, i am trying to give you a lot of info in a few sentences. If and when you get to the point where you are sure your son has ADHD, please feel free to contact me. Whe have been through many of the hoops and can provide you with a lot of information that will save you headaches and frustration in the future.

In closing, I would like to say, trust your gut. You are the mom. You know better than anyone.

P.

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D.H.

answers from Modesto on

Hi S.,
I completely understand your concerns and I think I can offer you some very useful advice. First, let me tell you a little about me and my experiences with this type of situation. I am a single mother and I also have two children. My son is also very "energetic" and has been since I was about 5 months pregnant with him. (said with a smile) He is 8 now and I had him tested for ADHD when he was in Kindergarten. Yup, he's got it. He does take medication for it, and I have no problem with that fact, but I realize that this answer is not right for everyone. I know that diet and routine can work to help him and I do use these to regulate his symptoms. Unfortunately, because I am a single mom and I must work full time, it is almost impossible to regulate his diet and routine everyday. That is why I feel medication is a necessary part of treating his ADHD.
Ok. On to the advice part of this novel I am writing. Before I start, let me tell you, I am not some kind of "has to be all natural" "the system is bad" kind of person. I am pretty much exactly the opposite, but I have learned a few lessons the hard way and out of that I have gleaned some useful knowledge that I would love to share. I mentioned diet and routine. VERY IMPORTANT. Even if your son is simply a normal, energetic, non-ADHD boy (yes, they do exist and are quite common), taking steps to control these aspects of his day are very useful ways to make life alot easier, for the both of you! You can talk to your pediatrician about this, or a dietician if you find that the ped is not as helpful as you'd like. (This does happen far more frequently than I'd like.) Also, you can go online to get info on this. If fact there are a number of sites that deal with ADHD that anyone raising a young boy will find helpful. They give lots of advice on how to help your child control his energy; tools that you and he can learn as he grows.
Ok, let's start with diet. I'm not sure what kind of diet your son is on, but my main advice is to make sure he has a regular intake of some kind of protein. Also, though it make seem kind of obvious, you need to limit his intake of sugar. You would be surprised how much sugar is in the things we think are healthy. Take juices, for instance. Even the healthy ones are SOOO full of sugar. My advice, give him milk with his meals and water when he is just thirsty. I'm not saying cut out juice all-together, just limit it. Also, milk has kind of a stabilizing effect on the energy level. It counteracts the carbs and sugars that are the fuel for these little energy factories we lovingly call our sons. Regular snacks can be a great help if they are healthy and also include some type of protein.
Ok, now the routine. I have found that keeping my sons daily routine as predictable as possible is a must! This means from the time he wakes up to the time he falls asleep. That may sound a little hard to do, but it gets easier. Even with a busy schedule, trust me, it can be done. For us that means that in the mornings I wake my son, he uses the bathroom, gets his meds, gets dressed, brushes his teeth and hair, then grabs his jacket and school bag. On our way out the door, he grabs the breakfast and snacks we've set out for him and we are off. Since the school day is already pretty structured, I don't have to worry there. (Daycare is usually the same way, so you shouldn't have to worry much there.) After work, I pick them up and if we are not going straight home, I let him know immediately. "Ethan, we are going to ----, then to ---- before we go home." This helps stem the 20 question tide that we would have otherwise. Evenings are the same. Homework, dinner, playtime, bedtime.
You will find your own routine, but the little things are what make the difference, like warning him about an alteration in the routine.
Since your sons is still so young, you will reap the benefits alot sooner than I did. (Mine was 5 before I even considered some of these things!) I hope you take my advice to heart. I wish someone had told me this stuff when my son was 2. It would have saved some of my hair.
Sorry for rambling on so long. Let me know if you like a tip on which website I go to for ADHD advice. Remember, it's useful for all kids, not just the ADHD ones.

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B.W.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi S.,
I'm not a fan of immediately thinking that our children have ADD because they are being hyper. You have 2 boys under 2, my guess is that they are competing for attention. Boys need extra discipline, for lack of a better word. I have 3 boys who are extremely hyper, but you have to teach them self control. Yes, it can be done because I did it. When you discipline, if you use time outs, have him focus on holding his hands together. You may need to sit with him a while until he understands, but he'll get the picture. It's amazing what it can do to help them focus. Boys need structure and freedom to be boys at the same time. It's a tough balance, but it can be done. Also, don't think that your kids are the only ones that do this. Boys will be boys, but you can and need to give them limits. Especially at 2, they try your patience more than you know!!! :))) I often wonder if mine are the only ones out of control, but when it comes down to it, 9 times out of 10 they know how to behave themselves. It takes a lot of practice, but you can do it. If you really feel that something is wrong, ask your dr, but I really think it's just a phase and that your consistency in drawing the line enforcing the rules will help tremendously!
Good luck!
Also, pray for your boys. That can always help!
B.

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N.R.

answers from Redding on

Hi S.,

A lot of parents are told by their family, friends, and doctor to "wait and see" and "this is normal." But you are the mother. You see your kids a lot more often than anyone else. If you see or think you see a red flag you need to keep on it. ADHD does NOT mean anything is wrong with your child. It just means he has more energy. I have twin daughters. One was doing a lot of things backwards (dyslexia?). I was laughed at. I was told that was normal. I was told wait and see. Well, I kept on it. By the end of second grade, (FINALLY!!) she was said to be dyslexic. Fortunately I had kept on it and was helping her. Unfortunately, I was working a lone. So my advice to you is to follow your heart. It may still be nothing in the end but it is always best to catch potential problems early! Hind sight is always 20/20. Good luck! N. :o)

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M.B.

answers from Sacramento on

My 8-year old grandson has been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. The hyperactivity started almost as soon as he started walking/running. My daughter went through several daycare facilities because of his hyperactive behavior. We finally faced the fact that there was “something wrong with our precious little boy”. After much research and testing, we decided to use a combination of medication and neurofeedback.

I have included a couple websites that might help you. This is the ADHD Symptom Checklist from the CDC: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/symptom.htm - the next is from the neurofeedback group we use: http://www.sierramentalfitness.com. Take care

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M.B.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi S.,
While I can't say for certain, I don't think your 2 yo is hyperactive (medically hyperactive, that is). I couldn't believe what a whirlwind my son was when he was that young --blew my mind. He literally ran circles around his best toddler buddy. My son's temperment was very active (VERY active, but not hyperactive) and his buddy was the extreme opposite and very, very mellow. My son was (and is) a smart kid and thought-ful, but he was very external and all about doing whereas his buddy was internal and all about thinking. My guy's energy level was off the map. We didn't give him a lot of sugary or caffeineated foods, but I use to think people would assume he was sugar'd and coffee'd up (like crazy). He use to tire me out (which was actually kind of nice, kept ME active, too... well, it was nice SOMEtimes). I can relate 100% to how you describe your older son. I wouldn't worry at all at this age/stage, though. I'm willing to bet he slows down as he gets older, not that he'll slow down to a stop (although, my son is no longer the energy ball at 13 that he was when younger and he is much more of a melllow guy now).
Take care and 'ride the wave'; you'll end up on the shore eventually
M. B

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D.G.

answers from Salinas on

I personally think ADHD is over diagnosed. I don't disagree that's it's a genuine condition that affects many children but I think there are far more children who are just more active, have more energy but are lumped into the ADHD category but are not really hyperactive. He's 2 years old so that right there is going to make his attention span short. He's a boy, so he's going to be much more active than girls. Just because he seems to be more active than other boys, doesn't automatically make him hyperactive. Wait and see, if he hits 5 and you're being told he's not ready for kindergarten because of his wild nature and short attention span, then maybe consider having a doctor look at him. I'm no doctor but I can't see how he differs from any other 2 year old boy who plays rough and can't focus for any longer than 5 seconds. As a matter of fact, my son's speech therapist said the fact that my son who is 3 CAN stay focused on one game for up to an hour is different. So, see, you just can't win.

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A.K.

answers from Sacramento on

i suggest taking this question to your doctor. they will tell you if there is an attention problem. i did this with my middle child. and she sat just fine in the docs office. if he can't sit still for that, then it raises a concern. demand testing to be done if you are truly worried. we moms have an instinct for things.. always listen to your heart. :)

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K.T.

answers from Sacramento on

I too once had two boys under two year old, and nothing anyone told me prepared me for the challenge! What I learned is this: boys are amazingly energetic, and that's a bell curve with excited on the low end and near-manic on the high end. Raise your expectations of how much of your energy needs to be spent to cope with that fact, and act accordingly. Drop the worry from your mind. . .ADHD is horribly over-used, expecially when it comes to boys. They aren't little machines or even little girls. They're energy machines! You use the phrase "lucky enough to be able to work part-time." My dear, at this stage of your life (and your boys'), that's another stressor, not the relief it might seem. Drop the work if you can possibly manage it. You'll have more energy to devote to your growing boys and a tiny bit left for your own renewal. . .incredibly important for tackling the next day's challenges.

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M.B.

answers from Modesto on

Hi, I am a former school bus driver and aunt of an ADHD boy. My sister (his mom)is a special education teacher and I was also a teacher's aide. I say this because I don't want you to think this suggestion does not have any merit, it is actually a tried and true temporary fix for ADHD children and since it is so simple I offer it as an easy test with no lasting effects that may help guide you in your journey to help your son.I first encountered it as a school bus driver as a means of getting ADHD children to school without meltdowns on the school bus, recommended by the special ed. teacher and wholeheartedly endorsed by both the parents and the drivers. One morning, just before you take your son to daycare, perhaps as a treat in the car, give your son a cup of coffee. It can be hot or cold, whatever your son will drink. If, when he gets to daycare he is able to focus and seems less "wild", it could be an indication that he should be tested for ADHD. Coffee, being a stimulant, has the ability to help ADHD children to be calmer and focus. So, if it works for your son it could be that further testing in that vein is indicated. I hope this can give you some feeling of the next step to take. Other than that I am a dedicated proponent for reading everything you can about ADHD and then going with your gut feeling. I wish you the best in your journey.

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K.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I have an almost two year old, and, I also teach pre school as a two year old teacher. I have been doing the 2 year old teacher thing for a while now, and I have only ever seen one child who has a possible case of adhd. A lot of his energy may be from scheduling. Some kids rely on schedules, while some don't. Maybe your sons routine isn't just right for him. His falling to pieces when he is tired is also pretty normal. Check his sleeping routine, even waking up 15 mins early each day can really throw a kid off for quite some time. Also, see how his vocabulary compares to that of other children, and how he is meeting his vocabulary standards (50 words around 18 months). If his vocabulary is behind you will have the answer to most of his hyper activity. IF this is behind make sure you are talking to your pediatrition. They may fight you on any form of help, but speech therapy is amazing. The most important thing that I can tell you is that if he becomes violent, more so than the usual occasional hitting and kicking for toys, (which is extremely rare) then something has to be done immediately. Often, kids are mirroring things that they have seen from someone they spend large amounts of time with, or they get so angry they simply don't have the vocabulary to deal with their problems the way you or I would. Talk to his pediatrition about your concern for adhd. The earliest I have seen medicating is around 4 1/2 to 5. It is hit and miss. If problems continue try some local counseling centers. It has been my experience that parent child interaction therapy (pcit) can solve almost any problem. The Monarch Center is who I would reccomend for that. Good luck and dont worry, I am sure your son is perfectly fine :)

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D.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.! Sounds like you are doubly blessed with 2 gifts of sons! I will share with you the 2 absolute best resources I have ever been given to raise my son, and he is now 14. I am one happy mother because of these two books! I have a teen, but he is pretty amazing (even though he's a bit of a rascally rabbit on occasion). Shepherding a Child's Heart is the first and Bringing up Boys by James Dobson is the second. I think the www.family.org website and it's worldview on parenting has been the best resource I have ever used. I wish you much success as you take on the greatest job there is -- raising young men who love and respect God, reject passivity, accept responsibility, and lead courageously and compassionately throughout their lives. The above resources will do that.

Bless you on your journey!
D.

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P.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi S.: Many children your son's age is hyper. My question to you is how much sugar does he consume. it is amaziong how much is in cerals, drinks and many other things. In many cases it wires them so to speak. it is like an adult that has too much coffee or caffin. Decrease his sugar intake and see if there is any improvement. some times they act up also to get attention. Because you have a younger child this could be one of the reasons. So, check both out and good luck. P.Murphy

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T.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi S.,

As a mother of five grown children, I would suggest the following to see if it has any positive effect...remove all food color, preservatives and corn syrup from his diet...I did this with my five little stair steps...wow did life get better...I could still bake a treat and it seemed to have no residual affect...but the store bought stuff sent them into orbit times five...ugly...and secondly...just make sure he has plenty of physical play time...I have a three year old and a five year old grandson and when I babysit I create a running game in the house if they are still wound up before bed...like around the love seat...or something...they laugh and run...and I get them to bed on time...T.

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M.G.

answers from Modesto on

Sounds normal to me. Kids are supposed to be active. That and it is too early to detect ADHD.

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R.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Try 2 books 'your spirited child' and 'your out of synch' .Please don't forget that we live in a very 'dangerous' time of labeling & drugging children. Be so careful what you let yourself begin to believe ( even with these books). He is high maintenance & may be that way through out and there are plenty of people out there like that.They simply need more exercise, more caution in the diet and rest area.
Make a point of not being the one to introduce him to TV/ movies it will make a huge difference these kids just wind up like springs on their adrenals and they act out everything they view. You may think your getting a break but the after consequenes are huge. Introduce movie watching as late as you can and stick to just WELL chosen movies from then on. Make it a goal to become a media free home and provide tons of physical/exploritory activities. Rythem,ritual,routines an't be emphesized enough. 'Modify the enviroment not the child"

People over react to these kinds of boys - grow a thick skin and protect your boy with your own good instincts.I'm not saying let him run rough shod - but their crime and punishment theories can really damage these boys.

Yes, I did /do have such a boy he is amazing amazing & settled way down after about 14 yr old.He's nearly 19 now as my GRandma used to say " Did you live ? " THey say I did and dun well"

Good Luck,

R.

Jane nelson books on positive disipline & Faber's on How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk are good mommie back ups

You can email me if you want to

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