Hyperactive Child - Campobello,SC

Updated on November 26, 2008
B.U. asks from Campobello, SC
35 answers

I am in need of some crucial advice. My daughter is 6 years old (in July) and just started 1st grade. We are having some pretty major problems with the teacher saying she wont sit still, cant pay attention and basically is very disruptive. On the 3rd day of school she came to me suggesting maybe she is ADD/ADHD which I have never even dreamed. I dont know how to react but now that it has been brought to my attention I cant get it out of my mind. She is an incredibly bright little girl - full of spunk and life and a major free spirit with no fear of anything. BUT she is young to be in the 1st grade - most other kids were 6 last year in Kindergarden.
I dont know how to feel or how to deal with this. Taking away things is not working, neither is spanking, talking etc......
Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated.

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J.K.

answers from Greensboro on

I'm 27 yrs old. My daughter Elaina now 6 went throught the same thing. She would get up at 4:oo A.M. and wouldn't got to sleep until 12:00A.M. They wanted to put her on Ritalin and I said no. I got this info from a friend of mine yrs back when it all started and it worked. I tried the time outs, taking toys away,standing in the corners, none of that worked but this did and there are no chemicals. It's safe I promise. Take half a cup of coffee, half a cup of milk,some honey and mix it all together. She probably won't like the taste (my daughter didn't)give it to her shortly after she gets up in the morning. If she is hyperactive this should settler her down a little bit. After i started doing this with my daughter she got better behavior reports from daycare and school and she focused more on the task at hand. I didn't make her take it on days that she was out of school though. I let her be bright eyed and bushytailed on the weekends.Please let me know if this helps.

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S.

answers from Spartanburg on

The first thing I would do would be to consult her diet. Is she eating a lot of sugar, or dyed foods. What does she eat at school. She may very likely have food allergies/sensitivies and these are very closely linked to behavior issues, and can mimic ADHD. You may even want to consult a good whole food dietician that can help. I know children who their teachers don't want to deal with someone who is a little hyper and they suggest they have ADHD and then the parents go and put them on medicine and it is not necessary. I would definitely try the diet first before I would put her on medicine. Good luck.

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H.S.

answers from Greensboro on

I recently came across several articles online about red dye #40, a food additive that is found in ALL KINDS of foods: sodas, juices, kid's snacks, medicines, etc. According to these articles, a lot of adults and children have a sensitivity to this...and one of the main complaints is ADD/ADHD- like symptoms in children. It sounds a little off-the-wall, but you never know. Maybe you could try eliminating any foods that contain red dye #40 from her diet and see if that makes a difference. Good luck!

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L.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

Please don't medicate her. I know that many people will say that it worked wonders for their children, but we have no idea how these things affect our children long term. It's just too risky to put these chemicals in our developing childrens' bodies and brains without knowing what can happen over the long haul.

Have you thought about looking into Montessori Schools? They are geared toward childrens' activeness. Kids can get up and walk around the classroom and focus on the projects that really interest them. They still get a well-rounded education, but it's in a more natural learning environment. They also take advantage of kids "sensitive periods" - periods of time when they are really interested in one subject or another. This is when they are apt to learn the most about that particular subject.

There are also books out there about "Indigo Children." It sounds like your daughter might be one. It's something to check into.

Good Luck!
L.

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A.R.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi Brandy...!
I don't know if this is going to help you but, I can tell you that I have a 6 yr-old-boy who is in 1 st grade now.
He is also very active and restless; at school, the teachers have told me that he is a normal kid full of life. He talks and he never seat still either!! It is very hard to make him sleep; but I can say that with the passing of time he is getting better. If I were you, I 'd talk to the pediatrician. Sometimes, teachers don't have patience (that happens to my boy w/ the music teacher)and probably she just need more exercise outdoor or find something she really likes to make her focused on it. Do not give up!!! I wouldn't be so sure about that Add/ADHD thing. My boy is at the top of the class. He went at K last Fall and he did great too...
I read your message and I felt like it was me...Do not worry!!!
My boy likes play centers!...like in K...I set different activities at home, in a circle like: books, blocks, puzzles, cars, clay, balls and I found out what he likes better...Now he is going to soccer and swimming on weekends..
Good luck and...do not give up!!!!!
Alejandra
PS you can write to me directly to my email is OK

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T.G.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi B.,

Diet does play a major role in children's behavior. Try diet first and whatever you do PLEASE educate yourself thoroughly before considering mind altering medications. Child and adolescent suicides are WAY UP and they are the result of children on antidepressants. Children as young as age 5 (yes, I said age 5!) are committing suicide. All of the major school shootings you hear about on TV (including the latest one this month in Illinois) were the result of children on prescription drugs. Here is a quote. "This latest shooting by 27-year-old Stephen Kazmierczak shares the same three factors. Stephen was considered a "normal, undistressed person," according to press reports. He was considered "an outstanding student" and even received a Dean's Award for outstanding work in sociology. So what happened to Stephen's brain that caused him to snap and open fire on students in a college classroom?" You guessed it - prescription drugs! Please do your due diligence and educate yourself. Please visit www.cchr.org to read the latest in scientific research on antidepressants and watch video testimonials of parents of children on antidepressants. Best of health to you and yours! T.

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C.J.

answers from Indianapolis on

B.,
I'm not saying your little girl does not have add/adhd, but it seems to me that there are too many children diagnosed with this these days. Also, it seems that usually teachers are the people calling out the children. I wonder if teachers just don't have the patience to let kids be kids. It seems you've tried to discipliln her at home, so evidently you are noticing the same things. You may take her to see a doctor and see what they say. If she does have one or the other, a diagnosis would be good so that she can better concentrate on school work.
My older brother was diagnosed with adhd when he was 25 and started taking classes through work. Noone ever suspected he had it since he was "disiplined" enough to sit still. He never had good grades from grade school through high school, but at 25 years old, a doctor gave him riddelin (sp?) and he was making all A's and even tuturing another student.
Also, make sure that you are giving her good attention, as difficult as it may be with a 15-month-old and 13 year old. I'm not saying that you don't, but maybe she's acting out for attention.

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B.L.

answers from Spartanburg on

I have a 7 yr old son, who (just today) had issues. Luckily this year he got a WONDERFUL teacher, who believes in being sturn & strict. We also know her personally, which helps, but other parents have talked highly of her. Both his Kinderg. & 1st grade teachers tried to say he was ADHD/ADD. However, we are TOTALLY against medication. Also, if you research the "so called" diseases, you will find that it is the hardest to determine. Also, if being diagnosed, it should be done by a medical not mental professional because it is due to brain activity. Further looking into it, teachers/school officials tend to turn to it because they would rather your child be a "zombie" so that their classes go more "smooth". If you take time to think about it, how many kids do you remember being on "medication" growing up? Schools are MUCH more strict these days & are no where as easy going as years ago, but yet we have more school violence. My two older sons are in middle school & do wonderfully. They do talk too much & get in trouble for "goofing" off, but after talks with teachers, the teachers tell me to "look over" the white slips because it is "procedure". Also, take a look into the school shootings, that have taken place, & see how many of the children were also diagnosed with ADHD/ADD and taking medication. I drove my parents crazy, but guess what........I turned out great. I was just a child. Now, I believe my youngest is just my "payback". Other than that, we pray alot, discipline, & maintain a healthy lifestyle. I do agree that what you eat & the medicine you take (cold, antibiotics, etc.) does have ALOT to do with it. Sometimes, we just need to take a step back & remember how things used to be and why they are the way they are now.

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A.

answers from Louisville on

Everyone is quick to jump to the ADD/ADHD conclusion, believe me. The free spirit in your child is normal. The creativity levels should be very high. What school is she attending? Is it boring? Is there encouragement for activity and individuality? Art? Research the local schoold to see their opinioins for children that are creative, vs. the label of ADD/ADHD. I was the same way, but what helped me with my behaviour was coming home with a certain slip of paper, and it either had a smiley face on it, or a frowny face on it. Since I wanted to please and entertain, I had pleasure bringing home the smiley face as much as I could. The creative reward worked. See if the teacher doesn't have a problem sending the kiddo home with a slip of paper with the frown or the smile on it. Also, it must have your child's name on it...a must. You may have to make them yourself to give to her, if she doesn't have the time.
This method created a challenge for me, so I was amused by it. Amusement and creativity is the key.
Last, the only thing I looked foward to in school was art class-it happens. Hopefully you have creative teachers that are good at capturing attention.
Hope I have helped-I still know when I can be fun, and when to be quiet-ha ha.
A.

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T.W.

answers from Lexington on

My son (He just turned 7) has the same problem. But he is ADHD and on medication. He uses old head phones on his ears to help buffer out noise. Generally noise is what distracts my son in the classroom. So, he wears ear plugs or head phones to help filter out back ground noise. Does your daughter have any sensory issues? Are there certain foods that make her gag easily? Or do clothing tags on the inside collar of her shirt bug her more than the norm?
My Oldest son (the 7 yr old) is in gifted and talented AND special education because of his behaviors... Children can be both bright and intelligent AND have behavior/development issues. Don't get frustrated- I know it's easy to do. Just try to be as patient as possible and find little tricks to what makes her tick. When I was younger it was a song that my mom sang that helped me... For my youngest son, it seems to be anything dinosaur.. and for my Oldest son- the noise is too much- so the head phones covering his ears or ear plugs in his ears have helped him focus.

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M.G.

answers from Columbus on

You may want to consider having her tested for ADD/ADHD. Your doctor should be able to refer you to someone who specializes in diagnosiing this condition, and I would highly recommend you see a specialist and not let her ped. just hand you an RX for meds. I have adult ADD and have been put on almost every drug - no exaggeration, for it and the wrong drugs can make you feel depressed and like your loosing your mind, while the right one can help.
I also want to share this with you; I was a nearly full time volunteer at my children's school (first grade and kindergarten) and I don't think it's unusual that some children- without ADD, to have ants in their pants and need to move around. Some are simply kinesic learners and moving helps them to absorb the material they're learning. You may want to research that and see if it sounds like your daughter. My daughter's first grade class had a little girl who HAD to wander the aisle and pace and move around as she memorized things. Luckily her teacher wasn't of the "sit down and shut-up" variety and understood kids sometimes needs to move around. Spend a day in her classroom ,if you haven't already, so you can get a better perspectve of what's going on.

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N.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hello. I have a 8 year old boy and I am in the same situation. He started school at age 5. In kindergarden he was fine. Then in 1st and 2nd grade it was worse. The school had him tested and we put him on medicine. I always told myself that I wouldn't put my kids on anything. Well when your desperate, you'll do anything. He was always in trouble, not doing his work. So by the time 2nd grade ended, I thought the school was crazy. I was going to homeschool--I changed my mind on that. So I decided to put him in a Catholic school. Thought it was the environment at his old school. I just thought he was labeled at his old school and didn't want to go through another year of hell.His second grade teacher even held him back for maturity. He was an A,B,and C student. So I changed his school. Decided that maybe he should repeat 2nd grade due to maturity and maybe that would change things. Wrong, I didn't even tell his new school about our problems. He did good his first week, and his second week just started, and the teacher called me--telling me that he is not focused, and not paying attention. Here we go again.
He plays soccer, baseball, basketball, and football. When he has practice or a game he is very focused. Now we have another appt. to get him on medicine for school. So starting a new school didn't change him--he will grow out of it. Any advice I would give you is to hang in there and try to be as patient as you can be. I was blaming myself and blaming him for him not acting right. Now I regret the yelling and screaming that I was doing to get him to do his homework or keeping his room clean. Its not his fault at all. Just make sure you give her alot of love and encouragement. I really don't like saying much about the medicine but I can tell that he is more focused. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck, and your not alone. If you need to talk you can email me.

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K.G.

answers from Lexington on

Maybe she is bored in class because she is ahead of her peers (that is what happened with my nephew...same behavior and it was because he knew most of the information being taught and was bored). Also, take a look at the foods that she is eating...is there a lot of artificial sweetners, a lot of sugar, a lot of fried foods, a lot of artificial colors, etc. All of these can create children to be hyper and once they are taken away or given infrequently, they "calm" down. Also, make sure your child gets a lot of exercise outside of school.

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A.S.

answers from Charleston on

I somewhat understand what you are going through. My daughter was 9 when she was diagnosed with ADD. We had noticed some problems before then, but didn't really understand what was going on. She too, started school when she was 5(June b-day). We thought it was an immaturatey issue. What we did was talk to her pediatrician. We were given a Vanderbilt Assessment form for us and her teacher to fill out. This form is a questionare to be rated on how your child behaves,if the child has anxiety issues, how the child interacts with others things like that. What you and the teacher fill out will be rated and then the Ped. will determine if the child will need to be on meds. Some people choose not to go the med. route and put the their child on a special diet. We decided to go with the meds. What ever you decide, I would highly recomend talking with her Pediatrician. The longer you put this off, the harder it's going to be for your child to keep up with school. I have also tried the punishment thing and it didn't work. Children with ADD/ADHD can't help what they're doing.
Good luck and hang in there!

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K.B.

answers from Dubuque on

Hi there! :)
I have three girls at home, and my middle child, Meghan (who just turned 10) struggles with AD/HD.
Before you do anything, look at DIET. Recent research has shown that children with sensitivities to processed foods, artificial colors, etc. sometimes exhibit symptoms similar to kids with AD/HD. Many doctors, and psychologists as well, don't look a a child's diet first, and its one of the reasons AD/HD has been diagnosed way too often. Check out information on the Feingold diet, along with other dietary interventions. Here is a short article to get you started: http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0820/is_n241/a...
Secondly, look at her school environment--what are the sounds, sights and smells around her? Is there too much distraction in her physical environment? This could be one of the reasons why she isn't attending. Most elementary school teachers have waayy too much going on in their room, and some kids with sensory problems (such as SI dysfunction) can't deal with it, and act out instead. (Check out Carol Stock Kranowitz's book "The Out-of-Sync Child" for more info).
The point is, there is more than one reason for a kiddo to not pay attention and get excitable when he or she isn't 'supposed' to be. And to agree with one of the earlier comments-it is NOT a teacher's place to tell you your child has/might have AD/HD (they really don't know anyway--most of the time). Look into all possibilities first. And even if she does have AD/HD, it's not that bad--it just means her chemistry is off (that's what I tell Meghan), and that her meds help to even everything out!
Good luck to you!
~K.

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J.S.

answers from Raleigh on

Get her tested (and don't listen to anyone who says she doesn't need tested...get it done). My daughter, 5, was tested by a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and she now wears a Daytrana Patch once a day only when she's in school or we need her to be able to sit still and focus (church, etc). It has worked wonders. She's a happier child, also. Now we don't put the patch on when it's just a day to play. She can be as playful as she wants. It's just that this patch gives them the opportunity to be more still and focus.

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J.

answers from Spartanburg on

a friend of mine had a child (daughter) with a similar problem. She is very bright but was unable to stay focused in first grade. They now spend 600 dollars a month to get her tutoring in math during the school year and she had tutoring over the summer. They had considered holding her back but did not want to label her. They now wish that they held her back. It may just be an option to consider.

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D.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

My mom is very big into herbal and vitamin remedies. My babysister who is also a nurse, says and agrees with my mom that Omega 3's for kids or Focus (both found at a vitamin store) are great for kids who could be hiper or ADD. My sitter gives this to her daughter and has noticed an incredible change in her behavior, for the better. Good luck!

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K.F.

answers from Savannah on

First of all, testing is not always the answer and neither are meds. People want quick answers and quick fixes to an issue that takes time to reverse. After teaching for a few years and dealing with my 3-year old stepdaughter, I think that many instances like this can be corrected by what you teach them at home. This is not something to "punish" her for, but rather it is a behavior you need to modify. You need to work with her on focusing on a task for periods of time, with increasing the length of time each week or so. Don't have her focus on watching tv or playing with dolls. Do some kind of fun learning activity (not a workbook) that maybe involves reading a story followed up with using finger puppets or a story board to reinact the story or tell an alternate ending. This teaches her to focus and sit still. Also work on following instructions. Make sure you "tell" her to do things rather than "asking" her to do things. Too many times parents ask their children to do something, when really they should be told. Don't give her the option to say no.

Finally, don't beat yourself up on this. These are things that parents do not instinctively know. A lot of "parenting" strategies are (or should be) also used in classrooms by trained teachers. These are the things teachers are taught how to handle. It's just too bad that her teacher is automatically looking at labeling your child without using these behavior modification strategies first, as a good teacher should do.

Hope this helps! If it doesn't help after a few months, then consult other options. Start with the school psychologist.

K.:)

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A.H.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi,
There are too many variables to give a definative answer, but I can tell you that your daugthers teacher SHOULD NOT be drawing the conclusion that she thinks she might be ADHD only 3 days into the school year. That is ridiculous. I have two children who are ADHD, one who is only inattentive type and one who is hyperactive type. I also have a child who is not ADHD. You also have three children. It is pretty clear when you have a child who is suffering with this problem. We knew there was something "not right" very early in their school years although we didnt know what it was. My guess is you wouldn't be relying on your teacher to tell you you have a problem especially since you are an experienced parent. You would have already recognized things at home that were "not right" for age appropriate behavior. Her prompting you however may have just made you think about something that you already had reconized. If so, dont hesitate to talk it over with your doctor,and be sure to talk to your doctor about all your options. My pedi is very open about taking things very cautiously. She is very open about talking about food allergies, kids starting school too early, stress, medication, counseling etc. I too beleive that way too many kids are diagnosed with ADHD. But, I also beleive that there are some that are truely afflicted with this condition. And if you control the path to diagnoses and treatment, you can feel confident you are doing what is right for your child.

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L.H.

answers from Norfolk on

I have been teaching for 17 years and I would NEVER tell a parent that their child may have ADD/ADHD. Teachers are not doctors and should not try to diagnose, especially on the 3rd day of school. Maybe you should look into having her put into a class that allows for more movement and interactive teaching. The average person's attention span is only 20 minutes. Can you imagine how hard it is for a child to sit still all day in school. The expecations of what we want kids to learn keep increasing. Schools are allowing kids enough time to get up and move. Even if your daughter is truly ADHD, their are accommodations that can be utilized in a classroom before you even consider medication.

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K.S.

answers from Raleigh on

My daughter is 30 now, and was finally dx with adhd at 12. At 6, it was very apparent, but then, she was just a bouncy little girl. She was disruptive in the classroom, and wanted to be the center all of the time. She was not mean or aggressive. Have her tested at a large med center in the psych dept. Meds really helped mine focus, but it was a difficult life for her, friends found her too hyper too. As she matured, she got better social skills, had girl and boyfriends, and is a wonderful mother, but there were many rough years in between. Good luck and get her tested. I would also give her another yr in 1rst. It won't hurt.

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A.

answers from Charleston on

First I would suggest that you have her eyes checked. I know this sounds strange but lots of children who can't see what the teacher is doing on the chalkboard or overhead projector, get bored.

Secondly, if she is bright, she may just be bored. My seven year old consistently finishes his work before everyone else and he would experience "trouble" Talk to the teacher about extra activites to keep her occupied while others keep up. You may also want to ask about having someone from the guidance department come and observe, to see exactly where the trouble lies. Good luck!

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R.L.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi B. - My son (6 years old) is the same way - he is very smart and can do all the school work very well. But he acts like he can't stand to be in his own skin. I have found something that does help him though. I have become a customer of a nationally known wellness company that has vitamins (all natural) for children. The only difference: these vitamins actually disolve completely into his system. It gives him the nutrients he needs and he can concentrate in school now. It doesn't take the onrey out of him either. But he can sit and do what the teachers need him to do. If you are interested then please email me [email protected]____.com and I can get you the information about it. I wish you the best!

R. L
Proud Member of the M.O.M. Team
http://rlangford.themomteam.com/

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J.

answers from Indianapolis on

Greetings fellow Mom:

first congrats on your wonderful family! Mom of 3 here 7 5 and almost 3. 2 boys 1 girl. My husband is ADHD since early childhood and I always fear one of mine will be the same. I started my oldest in K when he just turned 6 in first grade now and he is 7. He was too emotionally immature to start. He couldn't sit still and he wears his feelings on his sleeve. Waiting worked well for him.
I would suggest requesting that the school's counselor talk/evaluate your child. Have your daughter observed in class and see what the counselor thinks. MOst importantly, don't take it personally if that is the diagnosis. Seek counseling for all of you if that is the case and keep the faith. Worst case, she needs some medication for a short time until her maturity catches up to her. Take care. God Bless.

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K.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

I have an 8 year old son that when he was 6 and in 1st grade he to was " the target" of a teacher who did not care for boys and thought that he was distracted quite a bit. He was also a young 6 ( June and school starts in August where we were living at). So anyhow she had a system where she would take away his clips for things like not paying attention or doing things in her time frame. I had an out - we moved in November out of state but here is one thing I thought of. I worked with her to get him to TRY and behave the way that she wanted him to. I talked to him everyday and praised him for his good days. NEVER did I punish him for his behavior ( unless it was something drastic) because that will transfer down the line. I gave him incentives to pay attention, not be chatty to friend, ect. I told her I will not bend his creative imagination and spirit and feel I stuck to that BUT the bad thing is he remembers that teacher and tries to not do things she told him ( she said teachers are not your friends - they have a job and so do you to do your work, blah blah blah).
Stick to your guns on this one because if she gets labeled with ADD/ADHD then it will carry with her forever. There are ways to guide her but say its okay when the teacher thinks she had a hard day and you are like oh please!! the other thing is ask the teachers how many young 6's there are - she may not be able to handle two different age groups in one class and you may need to look into switching her. My sons teacher was a 2nd grade teacher they made move down b/c there were too many 1st grade kids.

Good luck -bottom line go with your gut or talk to your peditrician

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K.T.

answers from Raleigh on

I have a child who is ADHD, so I have seen many of the things you are talking about. She is adopted and was a crack baby, so the adhd in her was caused by the drugs.
Some children need meds, but others do not. Others can be helped with therapy and education for the parent and teachers on how to deal with an ADHD child. If you do end up putting her on meds, don't let anyone make you feel guilty! Just do what you feel is best for your child. My daughter was violent, hurting herself, and got equally frustrated when she couldn't control her behavior. I now have a sweet loving little girl (also 6 yrs) who is smart as a whip! Oh, and the testing also revealed she has Sensory Integration Dysfunction (SID) which can add to the problems. We have had to work through issues with that, which luckily just require therapy and creative thinking on my part. She craves movement, so she does cheerleading and gymanstics and jumps on a trampoline to get her movement in a monitored safe environment...and that helps her be calmer the rest of the time. She has other issues with the SID, but that gives you an example. Your child may have something like that and not be adhd at all, which is why the testing would help rule out other possible causes.

My older child, people tried to tell me she was adhd also, but the testing was negative, and she just needed more challenging work to keep her mind occupied....she was way ahead in K and 1st grade and then went into the AIG program for gifted children in school. We just worked with the teachers to give her harder work.
Both of my children were tested at the same center.

You can have her tested for free.

There is a center on Chapanoke Rd near downtown that will test her, but you will have to get a doctor or psychologist to confirm the diagnosis. They will give you a copy of all the tests results and discuss with you your options after the tests are completed and they have studied the results. The testing takes at least 1/2 a day, and then you go back about a month later for the results.
Here is the contact information:

Child Development, Division of
Rob Kindsvatter, Acting Director
###-###-####
fax: ###-###-####
2201 Mail Service Center
Raleigh, NC 27699-2201
Location: 319 Chapanoke Road, Ste 120, Raleigh

GOOD LUCK! Email if you need to talk.

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L.P.

answers from Lexington on

Just to let you know, a Doctor must test children for ADD/ADHD; it can only be suggested by the school system. Medicine is only one option, but if correctly id'd she'll get the help needed and the teacher can use some modifications in the classroom.

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J.W.

answers from Dallas on

Simple, take her to the pediatrician.

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L.S.

answers from Charlotte on

My husband read about a man whose son was diagnosed with ADD, so he started reading to his son on a regular basis. Books of all kinds, even longer ones without pictures. That was all it took. No medicine, just time and a brain-building activity. Limit the amount of TV your child is allowed to watch.

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A.S.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Hi B.,

I felt I am reading my baby "jeevika's profile. she is 21 month old hyperactive girl. Does not sit atall except when she watches her big big world. She behaves like 3 -4 yr old kids, has her own sense of freedom and she is really a free spirit. I am not trying to control her right now.

At 6 if your daughter does the same but she is well behaved child at home and has great interest in everything and curious to know everything ,then I do not think she has any problem and you should worry for her . She is a gifted girl and you need to proide more stimuli to her so that her brain can be happy . She needs more food for her brain which her teachers are not able to give I think.
Love .
Anu( a new mom on mama source)

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N.S.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Hi B..
I am going to say something that may tick some people off, but please, please, please don't put your child on Ritalin or any other ADHD medication. Too many kids are getting classified as ADHD when really all it is is a learning issue. She may learn a different way from the way the teacher wants to teach. Please look into alternates to ADHD medication, like maybe another school where it is more of a "one-on-one" environment or where she can do more and sit less.
Good Luck!
N.

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C.M.

answers from Columbia on

I would suggest you speak to the doctor and get a prefessional opinion. It may be nothing more than just not liking the responsibilities of first grade. It's a lot different from kindergarten and some kids just aren't ready for the responsibilities that are expected of them in first grade.

I was very surprised to read that the teacher had suggested she might have ADHD. First of all, that's a pretty big assumption after only 3 days of school, coupled with the fact that your daughter probably expected it to be just like kindergarten and surprised and disappointed to find it wasn't. Also (and this is a biggie in my opinion), it's beyond the scope of her job description as a teacher to attempt medical diagnoses of her students. It might have been more helpful and a lot less upsetting and stressful for you, if she had said let's give it a week or two and see if she settles down. Or she could have suggested you speak with the doctor and ask if he/she has any advice on what to do, how to get her to calm down.......maybe dietary changes, more sleep, etc. I'm sorry but upsetting a parent and labeling a child after only 3 days is ridiulous. And I'm not sure she is actually allowed to do that either. Teachers in our district absoultely can not tell a parent they think their child has ADHD. They just aren't allowed to dianose and label the children that way.

Good luck and remember, 3 days does not tell the whole story and is much too soon to worry and assume ADHD or any other problem yet. Give it a little time and if things don't change soon, make an appointment with the doctor.

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T.G.

answers from Sioux City on

All my life I was in trouble for talking in class, finishing papers early, and (get this) reading ahead of the class during read alouds (I would start reading with the class, but the other kids read so slow, I would keep reading without realizing I was going ahead until the teacher called on me and I didn't know where they were). At that time, add/adhd was not regularly diagnosed. If I were in school now- I would have been "diagnosed" by teachers for sure! I have the tendency to jump from thought to thought (as you can see in most of my postings on mamasource) and I also have the tendency to take a great interest in something for a few weeks or months and then drop it like it was nothing. However, I can learn a lot in those weeks or months and retain the knowledge and apply it elsewhere. For those reasons, one of my college special ed professors told me that I probably have some condition under the autism umbrella as well as add/adhd. Well- I am here to tell you, I am fine without the diagnosis and without treatment. I was in the Talented and Gifted Program in elementary school and in honors classes in middle and high school. I finished my nursing degree before I had been out of high school for 2 years (with 2 babies to take care of along the way); I am now working on my elementary education degree and am often told by professors that I am ahead of the mainstream thinking- I am going to be the author of some great published work in the field some day- IF I can just control my writing and keep it fluid rather than jumping around. I also volunteer for a hundred little things and hear from people on a regular basis saying: how do you know so much, how do you do everything you do, how do you have an interest in so many things?... Well, I just do- that is who I am. I don't like to sit still for hours at a time and I am interested in lots of things. I don't think that means I need medication! Thank goodness add/adhd was not often diagnosed when I was a kid- I'd have been medicated and most likely would not have accomplished all that I have. I am now 24 years old- have 4 wonderful, bright children; an RN licence (I no longer use it, though); am a director of a preschool; am working towards my masters in education; run a girl scout troop; oversee the girl scout troops in my kids' school; run 3 websites (two for work, one for the kids' school); play with photography; can talk to you about nearly any subject with interest; and have time to do stuff like write long messages on this forum!!! :) My point here is this: just because one teacher thinks your daughter is not within her definition of "normal" doesn't mean anything. I am not in some peoples definition of "normal", but then for every one of those people, there are 10 telling me how great I am. Beyond that, I am happy, my kids are happy, my family is happy with where we've ended up- we don't need those other peoples definition of what or who I should be.

From the teacher front- it is still early in the year- you may want to visit (without notice, you are not the one who has to explain yourself in this situation- the school is by most rights your employees and you have every right to be showing up unannounced)- anyway- visit the class you daughter is in, as well as the other 1st grade classes. Just peek in and look at what the kids are doing. Look at the classroom. The teacher who has a perfectly quiet room is not the one for your daughter. The one who has productive noise and who's room is a little messy is most likely the right fit. Schedule a time to meet with her and interview her- then request nicely but firmly that the school change your daughters class. You have that right- continue to use it every year. At the end of this year, peek in on the 2nd grade rooms and meet with the teachers, then make a request that your daughter be placed in whatever class next year. This does go over better if you are involved with the school like PTA or volunteering sometimes, but if you can't you still have the right to decide where your daughter goes.

Just think- one whole school year of having a teacher who constantly is nitpicking at your daughter versus one whole school year of having a teacher who encourages your daughter to use her energy. What is the difference? How will it affect her attitude about school? How will it change her self-esteem?

From the parent front- this could have been me writing this post last year! My son is very bright- he was reading in the first month of kindergarten and bored most of the time. By last year (first grade), he was coming home with "red slips" from his teacher for talking in class. Well, he was talking because the finished the worksheets that are given to fill time. He is fast and was bored after he was done with the papers.
At one point he was coming home with cuts in his shirts, saying he didn't know how they got there- finally he admitted he did it while he was waiting for everyone to be done because he was bored.
We began to let him play outside a lot after school, and if he woke up early enough and got ready for school with at least 20 minutes left we let him play in the front yard before school, too. I also started walking the kids to school. This helped some. I also talked to his teacher to let her know that he was bored- in our case, he had a great teacher who was slightly unorganized (how a teacher should be, it means they have lots of ideas and are constantly changing things up for variety and to get the best lesson in) anyway, I knew it wasn't her fault, she had a class full of students with different levels of ability. She looked for an answer to challenge him and found another teacher who was able to bring him into her classroom with a few other kids 2 days a week to do large activities and projects that built on the things they had been taught.

It may not be that your daughter is showing great signs of being gifted- sometimes the kids are gifted in areas other than academics. Sometimes they are academically gifted, but it does not show because they rush through their paper work or don't pay a lot of attention to it because it is boring to them. And maybe she is not gifted- maybe she just (gasp!) can't sit still all day! I know that is not how kids ought to be, but hey, that is how some teachers want them to be- so I go back to the idea of finding that teacher that is slightly messy and lots of fun.

One last thought to my book I am writing here- my son is going into second grade this year (his first day was today!) and tonight when I pick him up, I will be giving his new teacher a sodoku book for kids that she can let him play in after he has finished work. I will also be in regular contact with her to see what they are learning about and then letting him do more research on it at home; magazines and kids internet pages with info are great- they turn boring school topics into fun and interesting games for after school. This also lets them be more interested during the school day.

Hope something here helps!
~T.~

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C.

answers from Lexington on

I am a first grade teacher. It is pretty early in the year for the teacher to say that. I suggest getting her tested of ra piece of mind. You don't have to put her on medicine, so don't let anyone pressure into it. As for her behavior, you really need to work on teaching your child appropriate behavior when and where. For example, at the park it is ok to run around, yell and play but reading books is a quiet time when she needs to listen and pay attention. Ask her teacher to put her on a behavior chart breaking the day down into smaller time periods for her to work towards. This will give your child smaller time period to work for, succeed at her behavior and give you a chance to see what time of the day she is misbehaving. A entire day is hard for children to "be good".

Another quick suggestion, go into the class for surprise visit. Go and observe your child and her teacher. Observe who she sits by, the schedule and how the class is structured. It will give you a better idea of what's going on and how to work with your child.

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