Husbands/fathers Willing to Share About Their Depression & Bipolar Disorder

Updated on February 10, 2008
M.B. asks from Loma Linda, CA
5 answers

My husband has been dealing with depression for 15 years and was diagnosed with bipolar 7 1/2 years ago. He has talked with others with the same diagnosis, but was looking for fathers to talk to. We are both in therapy and he has been on medication as well.

Any advice on:

how to juggle family life and work
coping strategies for ups and downs
how to deal with the stressors of enlarging our family

advice from moms is also helpful

1 mom found this helpful

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A.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,
First of all, I want to say that you are a very strong, courageous woman. You too, have a lot on your plate, so make sure that you take personal time for you. I was raised in a home where my father was a sometimes medicated Bipolar disordered person. It was not a pleasant experience. Then, when I was 14 years old, I too was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. I was quite severe with mood swings about 10 to 12 times a day, and I went for a couple of years trying to find the perfect "coctail" of prescriptions that would iron me out. I was able to find my combination after many trials.

Now fastforward to today 14 years later. I am still Bipolar, but hapily medicated(thank God for Psych meds), completed school and now I am a Registered Nurse, have a wonderful marriage, three beautiful children ages 4, 3, and 10 months. People are shocked when I tell them that I am Bipolar, they don't believe me, they say that I am to "normal."
Remember that Bipolar Disorder is a chemical imbalance in the brain, just like a diabetic has a chemical imbalance with insulin. The best advice that I can give to your husband, is to keep it real with his Pyschiatrist, they can't read minds. He needs to be honest about his moodswings with his Dr. Next, he needs to be consistent with taking his medications, and take them as prescribed, even when he feels like he doesn't need them any more. And lastly, everyone has highs and lows in their lives, medications are not designed to completely numb the highs and lows, but rather, help people with Bipolar disorder to cope just as if you did not have this disorder.

I am not sure if there are any all male Bipolar support groups, but if he feels like it would benefit him, research it. I do hope that this helps even a little bit. There is hope, I have been through it all, but with consistent effort to find the right medications, your lives will be a much happier place.
If you have any additional questions or would just like a listening ear who can relate, please call me or email me.

Sincerely,

A. Nichols
Work At Home United
Personal mentor, Mommy of 3
###-###-####
[email protected]____.com
www.enriched1.com

3 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Dear M.,

You have a heavy load. Bipolar is not an easy life for the patient or the family. You are very lucky that he takes his medicine. I certainly would not enlarge the family if I were you. Not unless you and your husband have a great desire to do so.

I have lived with bipolar people in my family and am very tired of the whole thing. So you must be too. Life is just too hard sometimes, and you have to take a rest and step back and let things happen. Only talk about serious subjects when there is no tension in the household . Yeah, I know, but you can sort of go around the tension until people calm themselves down. It is called 'dancing in place', and not taking things so seriously. That used to make me so upset when people said that to me. But, sometimes there are things that we cannot force to happen, so unforce and relax and enjoy the kids. I don't know how old you are, but I am 76 now and things look different from this vantage point.

I personally do not know about any group of bipolar men, but it seems to me that would be a wonderful experience for them. Men do tend to understand each other better than we do. ....and vice versa of course.

My husband's son in law in bipolar and doesn't accept the fact, nor take any medicine, it is not a lot of fun when he visits and takes me days to get back to my normal 'calm'. So, again, you are lucky that your husband is realistic, of course, being a dentist he understands medical conditions. 'thanksgoodness', as my daughter used to say.

I hope that this helps a little bit.

C. N.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son has this diagnosis and got the best results from a wheat free/casein free (eliminate gluten and dairy)diet, regular work and rest hours (can't work nights, party, or even stay up late to see a movie), omega 3 fatty acid supplements and high quality nutrition (flax, fish, hemp oils, fresh raw green leafy vegetables, fruits, no fast food, junk food, msg, colors, dyes or chemicals and limit caffeine and drink lots of water. He does not do it perfectly but it makes a big difference. The need for medication can be reduced with lifestyle changes. Good luck with this challenging problem. It can run in families so learn how to care for yourself so you can help your kids if it shows up for them.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have bipolar DO in my family. I am also a therapist and the BEST thing that helped me was the Family to Family NAMI learning and support group. Better than school or the books I devoured. It was supportive and well structured. Look up a group near you on line. Its a 12 week course. I cannot recommend it highly enough. Good luck- it is a very challenging road but with understanding and your own support system you can be frustrated and dream like all of us!

1 mom found this helpful
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F.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello,

Thank you for sharing this. I'm wondering where you live?

Thanks.
Foongy

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