Husband Won't Stop Playing Computer Game

Updated on March 17, 2010
L.S. asks from Springfield, MA
11 answers

HELP! My husband is totally hooked on a computer game, and won't stop. It takes up sooo much time, I know, because I used to play it! I made a decision to walk away from the game about a month ago or so. I found that I enjoy life much more without having to worry about the details of that game! He is so totally engrossed in it, that he spends at least 3 + hours per day on it, more so on the weekends and any time off he gets. Any ideas?

1 mom found this helpful

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R.F.

answers from New Orleans on

I have the same problem. We tried the only play when kids are awake, and that didnt work. He would play and get so involved, that he would still be playing at 6 am, and then sleep until 3pm, which most of the day with me and the baby is gone. I have a 6 yr old and 19 month old. 6yr old goes to school

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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

Ask him how he would feel if his kids spent that much time a day on the computer? Ask him how he thinks the kids feel that he would prefer to spend time in front of a screen instead of with them? Ask him how he would feel if you spent 3 hours a night in a hot bath with some wine and a trashy novel with the door locked? There, but unavailable. Suggest that he play at night when the kids are in bed so all the responsibilities don't get dumped on you.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Nashville on

My husband is a "gamer" as well. He always has been. =0) I'm curious as to what computer game it is. With my hubby, he loves World of Warcraft. He gets on with his brother, my brother and my niece and plays and plays and plays! LOL It's his way of de-stressing at the end of the day. However, in our house, the rule is: No playing computer/video games while the kids are awake. When we get home from work/school, it's family time with our kids. However, once the kids are asleep, I'm totally fine with him playing. And, on the weekends, same rule applies. If kids are awake...no computer/video games. =0) He's cool with it and I'm cool with it. It seems to work really well for us. Good luck!

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A.J.

answers from Baton Rouge on

Well years ago I was hooked watching sports on tv. However my wife was okay with it. Hever one day I wanted to do something in the back yard and walked away from all but football.
My wife asked if I was feeling okay as she was surprised of me walking away.
I guess it is some sort of addition and that person can walk away.
Yes after over 45 years I look at other sports from time to time as reading and t v is our life.
God Bless

1 mom found this helpful
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M.C.

answers from Detroit on

Hi,

My hubby is the same way. In fact, I call his computer, "Wife #1." If he played with me as he does with her, we would be much, much happier:) When I say that to him, he usually gets the hint and spends time with me and the kids. If I get really fed up, I literally sometimes pull the cord and let him have it. My hubby's a computer geek, so it comes with the territory. What has worked for me is to have a sense of humor and plan things like trips to the library, kid's places, coffee shops, walks, the playground, etc.--and do them...period. I also understand that he enjoys these games and I respect the time he spends on them, but there has to be a limit. No hobby should take up all of your free time either. Tell him to limit it and spend time with you and the kids. These computer games can be addicting, so he has to be made consciously aware of it because it is taking time away from his family--time that he will never get back. If worse comes to worse, you can take out the dvd or delete the game to get the message across.

Hope this helps,

M.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.S.

answers from Biloxi on

My husband is a gamer and a stay at home dad. I still play sometimes but i don't let it control me. I had a fight with him about it about an hr ago. Things I have done to help him cut down on his gaming time. I have told him he could only play when the kids were sleeping that didn't work very well. He said he needed an outlet so I told him take the kids to the pool or rec center. His excuse was that I had the car. Mind you the rec center and the pool were around the corner from my house so he could have walked. So then since I got up before him(this part was mean) I took the keyboard and the mouse with me to work for two weeks. I told him that we needed more family time before he could get them back, and that worked. Now he only plays after the kids go to bed and for about two -three hrs a night. He knows that if he goes back to his old ways I will just ground him from the computer again but longer this time. With me being in the military I can keep the keyboard and mouse safe and secure. Another thing that works for me is since I get up early I also go to bed early so if he wants adult time then he needs to get off the computer before i go to sleep. I hope you find this helpful. If not there are some great websites that offer suggestions and counceling.

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J.T.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My husband plays after the kids and I go to bed. I also work part time so after the kids go to bed. He has been playing more since he works part time and goes to school fulltime. He plays Everquest 2 right now but has played WOW and Champions.

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T.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Why don't you talk to him about the two of you setting very firm times to play? No guilds or raiding allowed so nothing pressing him to be at a raid at a certain time, etc (he doesn't need that high end gear more than quality time with you and the kids), and maybe even play with him again, but ONLY during those times. I take back the suggestion of your playing the game with him if it was addicting for you when you were playing.

The awful thing about online games is they don't end. Unlike Legend of Zelda or Mario Bros, these go on and on until he gets an invite to his childrens' graduations! I totally know games are addicting and do not mesh with time for the family.

I do not believe the answer is treating him like a child. I firmly believe in the long run (if not in the short run), that will be detrimental for your marriage as it will put a wedge between you. After almost 22 years of marriage, my husband and I have learned to respect each others interests, and we try to get involved in different ways so we can share them together. Again, game time can be addicting, though, so this is a little different than another hobby, but both sides need to be understanding and okay with compromise.

Getting the family out of the house and away from the computer, like someone mentioned, is a great way to get him to see again how enjoyable family time is as well.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

my husband is allowed to play during nap/night time after the kiddo is in bed.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

WOW?
I was hooked on it for a few months - but it lost it's charm quite quickly... my DH kept playing a little longer but has also quit since...He still plays every now and then (other online games) but not excessive at all. It was quite addictive in the beginning though... I went to work tired for playing to late more than a handful of times.

If he is open to discussing the whole thing with you and willing to cut down on his playing time, he can make use of the parental control features on his account and restrict his own playing time and hours.
If he doesn't see how this is affecting his life and relationships ask him to see a counselor or find a support group like http://www.olganon.org/. Gaming addition can become quite serious, so he would do himself a favor by nipping it in the bud if it's not too late.

Good luck!

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L.J.

answers from Birmingham on

I know I'm late on responding and it may be unreasonable to suggest donating the game and/or unit to a good charity. It would be a win/win for everyone! You get the tax right off and your husband involved in the family again. This may be extreme but it would drive me absolutely nuts for my husband to do this. I have a pregnant friend in this situation and it may end their marriage and the possibility of a happy family. OVER GAME PLAYING. It's all about the choices we make and setting our priorities. Good luck and call Hannah Home or The Boys/Girls Ranch to pick it up! They would LOVE to take the problem off your hands.

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