Husband's New Friend

I sounds like he is not hiding anything from you because he has told you about it.

My husband and I have a wide open line of communication and we share anything with each other. I have no problems because he has a close friend at work who happens to be a woman. He has no issue with me having male friends.

We know where our hearts are and where we will be....with each other.

I say get to know her. She could end up being a very nice friend.

I know this is "too much" in some other mama opinioins but we don't close boundaries just because we are married (20 yrs in 12/08). We are very open and honest with each other. Communication is a huge key.

Be glad he is sharing this information with you.

TF

I would probably feel some jealousy at first, but it sounds like you and your husband trust each other. He's not hiding his friendship with her. He doesn't seem to be spending any extra time away from you and your family. If he were hiding something or acting guilty, then I would worry. But if not, then try to not let it bother you as much. If it were me, I would try to become friends with her also. Maybe ask your husband to invite her over for dinner, or do it yourself. Maybe you'll make a new friend also. If after you meet her, and you still feel weird, then talk to your husband again. The key is to keep an open line of communication. I wouldn't ask him to just flat out end the friendship, b/c if nothing's going on, then it tells your husband that you don't fully trust him.

Sweetheart, this has NOTHING to do with hormones. It is not appropriate for a married man to be close friends with another woman. It would be different if they grew up together and had that history, but even then, there would be NO meeting together just the two of them. Satan is evil and like the song by Casting Crowns, things don't crumble in a day, it is a "slow fade." If you feel uneasy, it matters. He should cling to you for friendship. Discuss business, but friendship...no way. Trust your instincts and openly talk with him about this. My husband and I agreed not to even have me seen in a grocery store with a friend of ours (who was living with us temporarily) due to not only the possibilities of weakness, but also the perception of it if someone saw us and knew I was married. This is a great place for strict boundaries. I remember one day my husband had to go to another site with a woman...he called me to make sure that was okay and let me know. It was a 20 minute ride, but he wanted to honor our boundaries. Marriage is hard enough without the blurred boundaries. Like I said, trust your gut, pregnant and all.

R.,
I would be upset too, I do not think a husband should have friendships with other women unless she's married and the real friendship is between the two men and the two women. Next thing that will be said is, "I can't talk to you like I talk to her, or she doesn't have anyone to talk too..." She needs to find a single man if she's not married, which I'm sure your husband wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot. You are your husband's best friend, and he should be able to talk to you about everything, and just because he's being completely honest with you, don't make the excuse that it's okay to do then. You are his WIFE. This woman might be a nice person, I wouldn't invite her over, I seriously don't think she needs to be apart of his life at all, only at work if really needed. I'm telling you, this is a door that shouldn't open. You are making excuses because he's using work, I understand it's important for your husband to talk to someone at work, but not a female. I'm sorry, but I only see problems with this relationship. I'm sure your husband is a great man, but even the best of men can end up cheating and not mean too.
And don't think for a minute it's bad to be jealous, there is a line of being too jealous, but you are his wife and he doesn't need any other woman to be that close too. I would tell him to stop, that you don't like how it makes you feel.
If anything is work related it can stay right there at work, there doesn't need to be emails exchange or telephone calls outside of work. She should respect you as his wife and even if she feels she's not doing anything wrong, she's a woman and how would she feel if some female was going to lunch with her husband.
This is my opinion....

You better nip this in the bud right now. I see nothing good coming from this. That is just my own opinion. I trust my husband totally but WOULD NOT appreciate him doing things and talking on the phone with another women! Does he want you doing those type of things? Good Luck and congrats on your new baby!

I'm sorry, but my own experience I don't believe that women and men can be just friends. I have had a couple dozen guy friends easily and there wasn't one, ever, that didn't eventually want more than just friendship. If they're alone ever and they have a "close friendship" and/or they became "instant friends" (which means there's a chemistry there), then I believe that something, sometime could happen between them. Why would you want that as a temptation for him? A scenario could go like this... you and your hubby have a fight, he turns to her as a friend, she totally understands his point-of-view and sides with him and then out of "thanks" and gratitude for her understanding and friendship, they share a kiss. You can see how things could escalate. Why even allow that situation to have the possibility of occurring? I don't believe it's a good thing or appropriate in any way. He wants a guy friend, that's different. Too much temptation, I'm thinkin'.

My husband has a friend from work, old work. I found that she had been texting him and got completely upset about it. He always gripes about texting fees and I thought it was hipocritical to a) text b) to another woman c)without teling me. I drove myself crazy about, probably because in the past I had sent emails that were not kosher. Anyway, he wasnt doing anything wrong and later did tell me that he had been texting her. In a perfect world, we can all be friends with whoever we want with no problems, unfortuantely we do not live in a perfect world. Give it some time. Have her over for dinner or something, Get to know her. I think it is all fine, he is not taking time away from you so there are no worries. I think asking him to end a frienship might cause more distance between the two of you than him keeping this friendship. Think on it