My first thought was "what a jerk!" He KNEW your position on day care before you had the baby...what did he expect!?
My second thought was "he's probably stressed about a financial something...is there more to the story?"
With those two thoughts "on the table," my next big question is, can you two rationally sit down and discuss the finances from the point of view of cutting costs? Take a good hard look at your budget and see where cuts can be made. For example...
1. Do you have both cable and Netflix streamed to your tv via Wii or Playstation? There's so much good stuff on Netflix for $10/month, do you really need $60/month in cable, too?
2. Could you switch to store brand items at the grocery store, rather than name brand?
3. Do you need so many "extras" at the grocery store...soda, candy, chips, alcohol, cookies?
4. Are you using your cars/gasoline as efficiently as you can...running errands 1-3 times a week, instead of every day?
5. Do you eat out more than you should? Can you find a similar item to make at home? For example, pizza is my family's first choice of "mom not cooking" food. But, at $20+ a pop that got costly. So, new we buy frozen pizza. It's not quite so yummy, but my kids gobble it up anyway...and I don't have to cook for $10 less a week.
It may sound silly, but even small cuts add up after a while. Perhaps this would take some of the financial pressure your husband seems to be feeling down a notch or two?
My third thought was to have you sit down and "run the numbers" on what it would cost the family for you to work full time, when you factor in day care, clothing, gasoline and all the things you wouldn't be able to keep up on at home. I've been a full-time working mom for the last 17 years, and I can emphatically tell you there's a huge trade off for working those extra 20 hours a week. Would your husband be willing to step up at home and help you "cover" all the things you do now in your at-home hours? Housework, child care, time off work for school and/or extra-curricular activities, like sports or dance or music lessons? If he's not in to that, then he better appreciate what you contribute a whole lot more.
For the last ten years, I've been the primary wage earner in my family. It used to really bug my husband that (maybe) the world saw him as a less than great provider for our family. And I admit there are times when I feel like I'm working really hard so he can "take it easy." When I feel this way, I take some time (I teach so it's usually school breaks) to do "day in the life of daddy." I just tag along and see what he does. This man IS NOT taking it easy! Being underemployed and working three jobs to meet his financial obligations PLUS being really involved with the family is far harder than my full time teaching position! For us, the trick was appreciating all both of us contribute to our successful family, both monetary and non-monetary. Instead of whining to each other, when we start feeling the financial stress, we sit down and say, "Babe, I'm feeling financially stressed. We need to make some adjustments so I'm not so crabby about this." After 20.5 years of marriage, this is a verbal cue to shut up, listen up and act NOW.
I know this doesn't quite address exactly what you're after, but it might provide a point of view with reversed positions. However, until you work this out DO NOT have another child...even if you want one because 2 babies is a whole lot more expensive than 1. And don't fool yourself into thinking the end of day care, formula and diapers will make everything ok. The expenses are just different.