Husband Says Quit My Job!

Updated on March 23, 2008
J.H. asks from Fairfield, IA
12 answers

Hi everyone i am a little frustrated at the moment. I work at Curves and I only work 2-3 days a week and today my husband told me to just quit my job because he's tired! we have one daughter and are trying to get pregnant again at the moment, and he only has to watch her up to 2 days a week while i'm at work. I enjoy my job but sometimes i would rather just be home with my little girl! I don't know what to do and i don't know if my husband just said that because he is tired and wanted to get some extra zzz's anyways i don't know what to do. We are also talking about moving within the next 2 months so we have alot on our plate right now! Just wanted a little advice! thanks for your time!

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So What Happened?

well i just wanted to thank everyone for there advice. We are getting away this weekend and i hope to try to discuss everything with him and get everything figured out! I really don't think that he wants me to quit my job, he was just really tired from work so i think we have pretty much worked everything out! thanks again!

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A.B.

answers from Lincoln on

J. theis is a big thing to think about!!! I stayed home with my kids for 2 years and it was great and it was horriable!! I loved being home with my kids, but I lost all social interaction with adults. When my hubby got home he wanted to do nothing because he had worked all day and so I never went out. After so long it went back to work part time and I love that. I think that it is important for stay at home moms to have an out every now and again!!! If you stay at mom try to have a play group with other moms, or start to do a home based business. Something that will get you out of the house and with people

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T.J.

answers from Waterloo on

Hi J.!

Let me get this straight. He wants you to quit your job, because he's tired and doesn't want to watch your daughter, but he wants you to get preggers again? So, if he is too tired to watch your daughter now, who is going to watch her when a new baby arrives? He's kinda contradicting himself, isn't he? You need to be able to get out of the house somehow, and 2-3 days a week isn't bad.

You might also consider a home based business with some type of party plan, and that way you'd only be gone a few hours a week. There are some very lucrative ones out there, depending on your interests. I'm and ED with Passion Parties, but I've also been thinking about doing Pampered Chef as well, as I love to cook. It just depends on your interests. Be leary of any home business, and make sure that you check them out completely, as I through $1000's away trying everything. Steer clear of Herbalife! There are so many scams out there, and I think I've managed to find every one of them, so if have any questions on any of them, contact me.

If money isn't an issue, maybe you could just join curves, and that would still get you out of the house, and help you to lose the weight, and you'd still get to be home with your daughter. I wish you well.

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S.W.

answers from Lincoln on

Hi J.,
I think that you and your husband need to sit down and have a good discussion about what you both want. List the pro's and con's of everything so that you can discuss them easier. If your husband wants you to quit your job because he doesn't want to watch your daughter them maybe you should wait to have another child for awhile. I don't know how your husband is with your child, can you go out without him complaining he has to watch her. You didn't say where he worked or his hours, if he works nights then he probably is pretty tired and needs help with your daughter when you are working. I am a mother of two and have a home daycare and a web-based marketing business. I personally think that the best thing for a child when growing up is to be home with mom, dad, or both. I do have days when I want to pull all my hair out but there are many more days that I truely love what I do. It would be nice to have some adult conversation sometimes though. Do you like working at curves so you can get out once in awhile and socialize? I think that is a good idea especially if your husband can be home with your daughter. Being a new mom that is a big change and being able to be around other people sometimes helps a lot. I think that if your husband wants you to quit now then when you have two kids he will want you to even more, also if you are going to be moving soon then you will need to be packing stuff and getting ready, but only working two to three days a week you should still be able to get that stuff done. I am not a psychiatrist and I hope that I didn't offend you in any way but I think you and your husband just need to talk and see what will be the best for the both of you. I hope that I helped and good luck in whatever you decide. Take Care and God Bless
S.

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T.K.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Hi J.

I know how you feel. I have gone through similar situations over the past 5 years.

What ever you choose, make sure it is something that also "fills your cup".
i recently began working out of my home to earn extra income for the household.
I went to www.sohojobs.org and viewed the job listings they have posted. I applied for several different positions and am now taking Pledge calls for PBS Stations and St Jude Childrens Research Center.
I love it!!

It is something to think about :o)

Best to you ~

T. K
(id:au8tkat)
"Working from home thanks to sohojobs.org"

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M.W.

answers from Boise on

It sounds like your job is very important to you. What a great environment to help you with you stress and health! Have you discussed with your husband how you feel about working? Would another career fit what he wants better? Maybe working a weekend day or a couple evenings? That is what I do and it works very nicely. Bottom line, you need to come to an agreement together that suits the two of you and your baby. Best of luck!

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J.H.

answers from Boise on

Hi J., I'm a little late with my response but better late than never, huh? Are things going a little better for you now? Did you keep your job at Curves? My aunt and uncle own two different curve locations in Idaho. They love it. Well, if you did choose to quit your job and are looking for extra income, I am writing because I promised myself that if I finally found a LEGIT and REAL job online I would share it. Believe me I've tried them all, doing surveys for 3 months and making a whole $10 yea, that was so worth it, LOL but I did find something. It won't make you rich but nothing legal and good ever does, huh? so if you have time, read my note below that I wrote strictly for my mama source sisters. If you would like the information emailed to you please put mama source in the subject line of your email to me. I offer this free of charge. There are actually two offers, one is free and the other is $7.00 simply to cover my costs and shipping. I live in Idaho and have for 41 years. Look around at some of my responses to people and if you feel that I sound like someone who would "scam" you then click me off right now. But I want you to know that I am a caring person who made this promise to pass this on to others if it benefited me, so that's what I'm doing. I look forward to hearing from you. I am not being paid to advertise this; I promise. I simply want to help fellow Moms. Thanks J..
Hi everyone! Long time no hear! I don’t know if ANYONE remembers me but I was a fairly regular commenter and even posted my own problems back in November and December. My name is J. and I’m from Idaho. I want to tell you the reason I haven’t been signed on to MamaSource.com for all of these months. I am newly widowed; just lost my husband not too long ago. Due to the manner in which he passed (suicide) there was no life insurance for me and my two daughters. This was doubly bad because not only do I not work outside of the home due to the fact that I have a pancreatic disease I was born with and it causes several serious problems which make it necessary for me to be at home, but both of our daughters have the disease also. They were both born with it and are also very ill. Things were not looking good for us. My monthly income was not even enough to cover our house let alone the car payment, orthodontist payment, regular utilities and all of the other “normal” things it takes to live. I was worried. I had no idea of what I was going to do. I sold one of our vehicles, sold my husband’s tools and then I had nothing more to sell.
I muddled around looking through the thousands of web pages that promised me “thousands in your first month” and I was never really impressed. Either it was way over my head or it sounded like a scam and usually it was. I knew one thing; I had to find something FAST! Then I heard about surveys. I heard from a few people who were making a lot of money doing surveys. So I thought well I could do that. I have opinions and I am at least a bit literate on the computer. So did some research and got registered with about 150+ survey companies most of them promised $25 - $50 to even $75 per survey. I waited and waited for those surveys to start pouring in and I was just calculating in my head how much money I was going to rake in.
Problem was the surveys came but not the surveys for $75, $50 or even $25. I got a couple worth $3 but I was getting hundreds a week that were worth “points”. Oh, I know with enough points you can trade them in for wonderful little prizes and even some you can trade for cash. Where were all of these surveys everyone was talking about I wondered. I was told to continue registering with more and more companies. I even found some “secret” companies who don’t advertise but I found out that it can take several months of completing the “points” surveys before you even qualify for the money ones, that’s IF you qualify.
I cried again for a couple of days and then told myself that there HAD to be something out there. I knew there was. I had heard so many wonderful success stories. I thought perhaps EBay or Google were my answers but after ordering the kits to get you started on those businesses, I found that I just didn’t know enough to start those. It would take some extra computer classes just to learn the “lingo”.
I was just about ready to give it up. I was about ready to attempt to open a daycare or something. Bring in just enough kids to make a living but not too many so that it would disrupt the lives of my children who were trying to get their school work done here everyday.
Then one day I was reading my email and I received the piece of mail I’d been waiting for. It was from a lady who had heard I’d been looking for a way to earn a living online. I wasn’t out to get rich but just earn a living. She gave me the opportunity to purchase from her a manual she had put together about a new form of “trading” on the internet that people are making anywhere from $500 a month to $5000 a month, depending how much time you want to spend. Spend a couple hours a day a couple days a week and you can make $1,000 a month. Spend about 5-6 hours a day a few days a week and you can earn $5,000 a month. This is no joke and it’s no scam. I’ve been doing it for a few months now and I’m here to tell you IT DOES WORK. It is legal, it is actually fun, you meet a lot of people and best of all, people come to you, willing to pay you to do something for them! They offer anywhere from $20 per job to $75 per job. A single job can be finished in 20-30 minutes. They usually pay you immediately through your paypal account, which if you don’t know what that is, it’s sort of like a bank account online.
For the remainder of the story, email me and I will forward it to your email! Trust me, you won’t regret this. I bought the manual, you don’t have to, I will send it to you free of charge! Email me now!!! [email protected]____.com

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A.W.

answers from Iowa City on

Being from the same town you are, I know there is not a whole lot to do around here. If you are looking to meet people and to have "adult conversation" I really do suggest keeping your job. I stayed at home for a while after I had my youngest son and then I decided to go back to school. After going back, I realized that school was my "sanity" time. Don't get me wrong, I absolutly love being with my kids, but I also need that adult interaction. It's not like you are working full time and are always away from your daughter or your family. You still have time to spend with them, but you also need "me" time. If you can only get that at work then that is where you need to stay. Good luck to you and if you do end up moving... LUCKY YOU!!!

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J.M.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi, I would find out if he's more stressed because of all the possible changes coming up or if he maybe was just extra tired at that moment. If you have something that gets you out mixing with adults you enjoying then I wouldn't necessarily drop it. If you are going to moving soon to somewhere other than in town and you'd have to quit anyway, then maybe quitting a little earlier would be a good idea so that you can concentrate on those other things that need to get done. However, your getting out of the house is probably good for both of you. He'd probably be telling you to get out and do something if you weren't. Gives both of you breaks from depending on the other for adult stimulation and gives your daughter a break too for something different.

Your daughter is probably just starting to really get moving and it does take a lot of energy. and if you're really planning on another baby, the extra stress could be keeping you from getting pregnant and also adding to it.

I have 2 that are not quite 2 years apart, and they keep you busy. I actually read a few things that said when siblings are 2 years or closer in age it really can be almost like having twins because they are so close in needs, development, etc. That can wear you and your husband out.

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C.M.

answers from Sioux City on

Hi J., I can see your frustration.. However if you enjoy your job, i would definitly stick with it. I would love to work at a place that encorages weight loss. If he is getting tired of watching your child then maybe you could find someone else to watch your daughter. She's not even a year old and your trying again? That will be alot of work if you do get pregnant. I have an 11 month old and am expecting another in march. It's alot of work and wasn't planned on my part. but you are quite a bit younger and will prob. be able to pull through it better, especially considering its planned. good luck... I have been a stay home mother for abour four years and would give anything to get out of the house a couple days a week to work. However you could just talk to your husband and see if he's serious and if he is then maybe give it a try. Then you can always find another job if you need too, but it will prob. not be the one your at now. so i would stop and think about how much you like your job now.

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A.D.

answers from Great Falls on

Hi my name is A. and I can totally relate to what you are going through! I am a stay at home mom of two girls 16mo and 3mo and when the time came for me to go back to work I was devistated. I compleatly understand as far as your husband goes too, mine did the same! Needless to say I found something that lets me stay at home with my girls and make money.
I sell The Body Shop at Home, I absolutly love it. I am not your typical direct sales person and to be honest with you I never really saw myself doing direct sales but I love it now! It is a great way to start your own business and you definitly get what you put into it. It is a wonderful opportunity and there are a ton of stay at home moms who are with our company. Let me know if that might be something you would be interested in. I can send you some info or feel free to check out my web site at
www.thebodyshopathome.com/web/aduneman

I wish you all the luck in being able to stay at home I know how amazing it is:) Just a tidbit I usually make $100 a party!
-A.

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T.M.

answers from Rapid City on

Hi J.:

Have you thought about working from home while your little one is small? I am a stay-at-home mom with three children. I started working with the Stayin Home and Lovin It team and it's been SO AWESOME!! I never had the chance to stay home before and I really love being there for my children and making money. This is my own business so I'm able to grow it at my own speed. You can check out my website and see if it's something you'd be interested in.
You can still go to Curves and work out and have your friends. I would highly encourage that. But how nice would it be to be there everyday when that little one does those new things they always do! I personally wouldn't change it for the world.
Here's my website: http://tinamccomb.stayinhomeandlovinit.com

T.

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C.

answers from Lincoln on

J.-

I guess by quitting a job you need to ask youself if the job is helping you out financially, something to help out your resume (which is good), or a job you are not enjoying but it is something you have to do. If your job is high stress and plus your trying to get pregnant that is not going to help the situation. Also you have a little angel at home too, that you are missing for sure. Kids only stay little once and then they are running all over later and now is the best time to spend the time you can with them. I once had a manager that told me to work part-time and also be home with my kids. I would say it is all up to you. If you need the job financially I would stick with it. Tell your husband to throw in a movie or two for your little one for an hour or so while he sleeps. I hope whatever you decide it all works out for the best, good luck!

C.

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