Husband Joining Military

K.,

My husband has been in the AF for 15 years. There are pros and cons to the military but there are pros and cons to every job.

I think your husband should do what he feels is best. The economy is not the best right now and I have seen friends laid off and I still have a friend who is still unemployed, this May will be one year. Joining the military just may be the best thing right now and he can always get out after 4 years. ( my husband also joined when he was 22 years old)

The hardest part of being a military wife is seeing your husband deploy and seeing the heartbreak of your children. However, I have a house, and cars, and money coming in. I don't have the stress or worry that my husband will be laid off. I have to deal with deployment but in 15 years my husband has only been deployed twice. My husband get 30 days of leave a year, we have medical (unless the gov't takes it away), he has college paid for.

One thing I will tell you is DO NOT let him come in as Security Forces (basically ground combat for the AF and they often deploy w/Army and run convoys w/army.) Also do not let him come in open general (they'll give him what ever and it is hard to cross train)

Hello! Thank you to your husband and you for his future service!! It's a GREAT thing to serve our country!!

Why are you so against it? That's a HUGE question you need to answer for yourself.

I LOVE the military life!! I'm a Navy Brat - I've lived in Taiwan, Hawaii and California. When I married USAF I went to Belgium and Germany.

There are AWESOME support groups not only on-base but off-base as well. There are many great benefits to serving - you will meet some just amazing people! Stop and ask yourself why you have this fear. Is it - are you afraid he'll be deployed and killed in action? Or is it the pay isn't what you are used to? The military WILL help him get his education (bootstrap). If you are scared about death - I am sorry I will be rude here - when it's his time, it's his time. God will call him when God needs him - it could be anytime, anywhere.

I hope this helps. I hope you open your heart to the possibiities of his military service and support him 100% - I'd rather have a husband who is HAPPY with his career than one who hates it. Makes life at home MUCH better!!

I skimmed over the answers you've received. :) And wanted to add that there are major differences between the branches, the benefits, the treatment of families, the number of deployments, the kinds of jobs, etc. AND that there are big differences between going in as an officer and going in as enlisted. We're an Air Force family, and my husband started out as a second lieutenant right after college, and we love the Air Force. Our experience of six years has shown us that family is a high priority for most of the commands my husband has been in. Our medical has never cost us anything. And the regular and predictable pay increases have been great, not to mention the housing allowances that change to reflect the rates wherever we are stationed. And the vacation time -- 30 days a year! -- has been wonderful, too. Like someone else mentioned, we live off-base (mostly because my husband doesn't want to feel as if he's ALWAYS at work). We've only been stationed at two places in the past six years, and the moving away from friends can be difficult, but there are positives to a "nomadic" lifestyle too. We love the many opportunities his job has given us to travel and explore the country, and always talk eagerly about where we might be stationed next. The stability, knowing that he'll have a job, is also fantastic. The Air Force has lots of great programs to support family and the bases we've been at have had fantastic commissaries (grocery stores with GREAT prices) and movie theaters and vets offices, etc., so you can also get some good prices and rates on regular services. Starting out, my husband wasn't crazy about his jobs...kind of got treated like the "rookie," you know, some of the menial tasks and not a whole lot of responsibility. But as he learned and earned respect, he got more and more responsibility and more and more fascinating jobs. And he really loves knowing that he's not 'stuck' in one place for too long, so even if he gets an assignment that's not totally thrilling, he'll get a new one soon enough. It's also helping him build a fantastic resume for after he retires... so much responsibility, so soon!

My husband's particular field doesn't put us in the position where we expect him to be deployed too often or, if he is, to be deployed to dangerous areas. (He's in acquisitions and program management. If my husband's field of choice was a dangerous one, I'm not sure all the amenities and pay in the world would make me "okay" with it... but knowing and respecting his desire to provide for our family and his built-in sense of adventure and masculinity probably would make me acquiesce to his wishes. He couldn't be happy watching us suffer through poverty or lack, not when he knew there was something he could do to stop it.) And, whenever given the choice, I'd be going with him. This year, though, he'll be "deployed" stateside for a few months (and has been, several times in the past, usually for educational opportunities) and we can't go with him. It's not easy, but you make the most of it... stay in touch as often as possible, stay faithful to one another, pray for each other and with your children, keep busy (we usually take the time to go visit family during his absences), build and lean on your friendships when you need to, and love on your man with all your might when he's around! Whatever your family decides, try to focus on the positive, lean on God for provision and strength, and be supportive of one another!!! May God bless you through this difficult time and provide your family with all of your needs!

My husband is actually a helicopter pilot. So he flies the helicopter that your husband wants to train to jump out of! He is a graduate of the Air Force Academy and we have been married for 3 years and have a 1 year old daughter. He has deployed 5 times in the past 4.5 years, usually for 3 to 4 months at a time. We lived for several years in Las Vegas and moved to Tucson about 19 months ago.
Being a military wife isn't always easy. We're alone a lot of the time while our husbands are deployed overseas, or working nights or even on a TDY (military lingo for a business trip) which can be anywhere from a few days to several weeks long. At least for me, however, its been a wonderful lifestyle. We have made many very close friends in the Air Force and the military provides lots of great benefits and support to families.

If you can handle being apart for long stretches and recognize that it won't be as easy a lifestyle as it would be having your husband home at 5:00 each day, I think you'll be fine. Most military wives are pretty independent and learn how to survive on our own pretty quickly. Good luck and let me know if you want to talk more off-line.
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Hi K.,
Firstly, please thank your husband for his service (yet to come). For you and your children there are many support groups available to you all. Air Force has especially great ones. It's a tough life. I'm a Blue Star Mother who's son is in the Navy 8 yrs. The BSM's are a national group and you'll find much support with us as well. I understand the economic strife that's been placed on so many of us. I feel this is a wise direction in alot of ways. You'll all have medical coverage, you can recieve your further education free because of his service and many other entitlements as a military family...including a steady paycheck. There are so many sacrifices to be made and it will take all your strength and a good support system to get you all through his enlistment period as well as afterwards. My prayers are with you for an easy transition. Stay busy..I'm sure you already are, and stay strong. R.

wow an a question I can answer! Sweety, military life is hard I won't lie but here is one thing...the military will never let you go hungry nor poor...close to it but they are always willing to help. As for the distance part...right now we are in war time and war time will always come up as long as we are willing to help and fight. I have one deployment under my belt and my husband was gone for a year and it was hard but you have to be strong. As for the airforce I am not sure but I will tell you the airforce is the tyoe of branch that is NICE...they have way nic-er thing then say Army which is what we are. There is going to be a lot of seperation but it is something that comes with his job and as long as you love him enough and think...he will always have a PAYCHECK no matter what...unless he gets dumb and gets kicked out but I don't see that happening...you get free medical and cheaper dental and it makes me know during this time we are secure and safe. If you have any questions and if he gets in and you have any questions on tricare or anything you e-mail me I am army brat and wife so military comes natural to me! ____@____.com

It is a very noble and selfless profession. I applaud anyone who joins the military. My husband was a green beret. It was many years ago and a lot has changed. Now it is much easier for military men to be in contact with their families on a regular basis. And in some respects the military has become more family friendly. After leaving the military with a broken back, my husband tried several desk jobs but had difficulty with being so closely supervised. In the military he was given a mission and left to do it on his own. Not so in the corporate world. So, I suggested he apply for the police department. He did and has been a police officer for 8 years now. He loves it. It satisfied that itch to be a part of a team, wear a uniform, and all that stuff that attract men to the armed forces. He works in a very violent part of town and says he has the best of both worlds because he goes to war everyday, but gets to come home to his family every night. In contrast to the military where he was away from his family for months, even a year or more at a time. My husband was made for the military and police work. I couldn't picture him doing anything else.

Just a suggestion, he may want to consider a career that is similar in many ways, but allows him to be home.

If you choose the military as a family, you have to be a strong and independent woman or it won't work well. We need good men who are willing to fight for this country. God Bless your family!

My father was in the Air Force when I was a child. There were times that he was gone for one reason or another, but it was usually shorter periods of time. Friends I had as adults that were in the Navy were often separated for their families for several long stretches throughout the year. We also moved less often than friends in other branches of the service.

The upside of the military is that you will always have housing and medical care. There are many more support systems for military families now also. If there is a chance he can something he loves and make a difference - try it for a while. I think the initial enlistment is 4 years - if it just doesn't work out for your family you can regroup after that.

One thing my parents did not want was for us to be "military brats." We usually lived off base, unless the base was fairly isolated, so our lives would be as "normal" as possible. A lot of military families I know will move near their families when their spouse is deployed so they have extra support. There are ways to make the tough parts of military life easier.

Whatever you decide, good luck to you and your family.

It's certainly worth looking into... however, be cautious of what the recruiters tell him. Afterall, it is there job to get people to sign up, NOT to guarantee their promises.

My husband was in the Navy for 8 years. Because he was on a submarine, it was a lot different than most other deployments. I could not email or call when I wanted to talk to him because they were unavailable. Most current military deployments do allow soldiers to be in almost constant contact with their loved ones, so that is a blessing! I also agree with the ladies who have explained that the military takes care of it's families, whether it's housing allowances, extra money depending on how many children you have, and combat pay! And you can shop at the commisary, which for most things is much cheaper than even wal-mart! Also make sure he joins a military credit union (like Navy Federal) because we've found they have the best rates for mortgages and car loans.

Although we're out of the military now, living in Albuquerque we have lots of friends who are in the Air Force. Depending on the job you husband gets in the military, he may never (or rarely) be deployed. However, if he's chosing parajumper, he's going to be right in the action! Finally, if he does decide the military is the right choice for your family, the Air Force is the best to join as they have the nicest bases and support groups.

I admire your husband for wanting to serve, but more than anything, it sounds like he really wants to take care of his family.

God's blessings on you and your family.

My ex was a Marine. I know basic training and all they have to go through in the begining would be h*** o* a family, it's not the worst thing in the world. We were together after Desert Storm, so I didn't have to live through deployments and moving around. My experience was that for the most part this was a job like any other. Granted there are cultural things I had to get used to. I once shook a General hand upon being introduced and was told later that was a big faux-pa. But in this economic climate, it's really not a terrible option. You and your family will have good health care and being able to shop on base at a commisary is a lot cheaper than at any regular grocery store.
I do understand your reservations and fears. My husband travels a lot and I miss him when he's gone. And he is usually home after a couple of days. I don't know what I would do if he were sent off somewhere that I had to worry about him for months on end. It's not an easy choice. Good luck to you.

My dad was in the army the first 6 or so years of my life, and it was a horrible time for my family. Yes, you do get the monetary security and what not, but the price your family pays, and the price the person pays emotionally is just not worth it. My dad was a relatively happy, fun-loving guy before he was deployed during Desert Storm, but after what he saw, he came back with horrible PTSD. It's been a really tough thing to understand and live with, especially when you are so young and when the military isn't as great about taking care of their people emotionally as they should be. It was also extremely h*** o* my mom trying to take care of three young children by herself while my dad was overseas for months as a time. Needless to say, my dad got out as soon as he could and left the good paying & secure job to go back to school to be a teacher. When dating, I always knew I would never and could never marry someone in the military, and my husband knows that should he ever join, I'd divorce him. I think a lot of people forget that so many of these guys come back so emotionally destroyed that is ruins the family. Please consider this!

My husband is active duty in the Army. I will be totally honest-- military life is hard, especially given that we have military deployed to Afghanistan, Iraq, Korea, and numerous other places you never hear about the news. Your husband WILL deploy and you WILL be apart for deployments and training. But my husband and I couldn't imagine any other life right now and it is all worth it to us. I am so thankful for the military in this economy. I don't worry about him losing his job, I don't worry about not getting a paycheck next month, and medical care is completely and totally FREE our family. They will give you a house-- and no, it will not always be the prettiest or the biggest, but it's a free roof to live under. You always have people to count on when your military. It really is one big family. We move every 2-3 years and have lived in places we would have never imagined. I've seen most of the country, and have really enjoyed traveling. It is not easy though with kids. But I think they benefit from it in the long run. You'll have to find a new job everywhere you go, but it's good that you are getting training for dental assisting, as that is a very transferable job. And lastly, Air Force is the way to go. They treat their people better than any other service and their deployments are generally shorter (6 months vs. 12-18 months for Army). Their bases are also usually nicer. I agree with what someone else said about the recruiters. Be careful about the promises they make and get everything in writing. EVERYTHING. Negotiate with them about bonuses and research it online before he goes in. Good luck!

What an awesome thing for you husband to want to do. My brother joined the air force at 32 and it has made such a difference in his and his families lives. They are happier, healthier and both my niece and nephew are doing better in school. They also have a stable career to depend on. My nephew has so much respect for what his dad is doing and we all look up to him. Becoming a soilder is selfless and as the wife of a soilder you have to be selfless too. There is no doubt this will affect your family but I think it is a GREAT opportunity for all of you.

I think there will be some hardships. He will be gone a lot at first going through training. My husband is not in the military but he travels 80% of the time and it's hard. It takes some real adjustment and getting used to. But remember you will get to know other military families and have support from them. You will probably have to move and possibly more than once. That too will be difficult but again you will have support from other wives who are in your situation.

I would definately support your husbands decision. There are going to be changes and sacrafices but it sounds like with all your family has gone through you already know about that. Go for it! What a neat adventure for you and your family.

My family was just the oposite. My husband was in the Air Force. He separated almost 2 years ago and we are still adjusting. It was a HUGE financial adjustment. My husband joined the military right out of high school so he didn't realize the benefits the military provided. He was fortunate enough to serve overseas just once in his 6 year career and was stationed at DM the entire time as well. We were able to purchase a house here and I got a job. I tried to convince him that we would be struggling a lot if he can't find a job that paid him more than what his regular work wages were. While in the military we never had any medical bills, day care was affordable (based on your rank & income), if you live off base, you recieve a housing allowance, if you live on base - no rent or utilities to pay, you become exept from paying taxes on your car registration (2 years ago, we paid $10 each to register both cars, now we pay about $300 each.) I've talked to him about that, day care and health insurance was my primary concern. He didn't realize how much impact we would have as far as financial adjustments. Around the time he separated from the military, we found out we were having twins--WOW! I knew that he wasn't seeing eye to eye with me because he never experienced "civilian life" as a working adult. He finally got a job with the City (took him over a year to find one with this horrible economy) I even got a raise since then and we are still struggling. Benefit wise, the military can help a stuggling family BIG TIME! Be aware that he will have a lot of obligations regarding travelling and being away from home so serve his country (depending on his job - he could be away more or less, you may have to relocate more often than some) but I feel like it's easier to adjust going into the service than coming out. I met and married my husband after he was already enlisted so becoming a "military wife" was an easier adjustment than becoming a "civilian family".