Husband Doesn't Want a Second child...I Do!

Updated on September 12, 2009
G.S. asks from Arlington, TX
4 answers

My daughter will be 5 in November. We got pregnant when she was about 18 months old but I miscarried at 8 weeks. Life got crazy and we didn't even talk about a baby again for over a year. Now it is all I can think about. I'm 30 and he is 31. Four people very close to me are pregnant and another actively trying. I have a crazy work schedule that puts my husband at home in the evenings a lot with my daughter. I can change to work more earlier shifts in November. We are at a place right now where we don't have to worry about money all the time anymore, we are 6 years into a great marriage (have know each other 10)and I just don't get why he doesn't want another. He just keeps going back to how much work it is and how easy things are now that Lilly is older.
I do not want to force him to do something he doesn't want to do, but I can't seem to get over it. I have been really trying to talk myself out of wanting another baby for 6 months luck. I'm so sad about this. I really am heartbroken.
I don't know if he would agree to counseling, but does anyone have any recommendations for someone we could talk to? Any other advice.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers



answers from Dallas on

Don't push him. You both need to be on the same page for this one - there are too many lives involved. Don't talk yourself out of it though. I had my little guy when I was 39 - you do have time. I know several families who have a 5-6-7 year age spread between kids and they LOVE each other bunches. Enjoy your daughter and husband, let him and yourself off the hook about it.

I know there are articles out there about this issue - read up on how others deal with it; you may find some ways to think about the situation that help you feel less sad.

Also, your little girl is about to start school, which is going to open up a WHOLE new level of busy for you, and that may be a place where you can put some of that love and energy as a room mom or something.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Hey, accidents happen, right!?!? ;)



answers from Dallas on

I feel for you... I wouldn't pressure him too much. I would try going about it in another way. Talk about how much it would add to Lilly's life to have a sibling, etc. I would try it from that angle and pray for a change of heart.


answers from Dallas on

I don't know that talking to anyone would help or change his mind. I'm a firm believer in if one person in a marriage does not want another one then case closed. If he changes his mind by himself later on than you could cross that bridge then. It's not worth the cost of your marriage to fight this one out.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions