Husband Adopting My Daughter

Updated on February 20, 2007
H.G. asks from Hagerstown, MD
12 answers

My husband of three years and I want to have him officially adopt my daughter. He has been there since her birth and knows of no other man. I did not list a father on her birth certificate although I did go through DNA testing to prove who the father was. I'm not sure of the steps for the adoption or if we should just have her last name changed (since she has my maiden name but she calls herself by my married name). She is 3 1/2 and will be starting kindergarden soon and I would like to have her name changed by the time she starts school. Has anyone ever gone through this situtation and have any advice or can at least tell me where the best place to start is??

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for the advice. I am in the process of finding a lawyer in my area. Please pray that things will go smoothly.

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.T.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi H.,
I don't know much about this subject but you might want to speak to a lawyer who specializes in adoption and they will be able to tell you more of where to start the legal process also there might be some websites in regards to adoption.
Good Luck
L.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.P.

answers from Washington DC on

If the father has been proven then you must get his consent for giving his rights up in order for your husband to adopt your daughter. I just went through a 4 year battle for this, but my ex would not give up up his rights at first. You need a lawyer and it costs around $1500. I hope this was helpful. I live in the state if Virginia.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from Erie on

Hi H., I went through the same thing with my daughter. My husband has been with us since she was 4 months old. She is now 5, but he adopted her in 2005. fist you need to contact a lawyer. You are going to have to have her bio father sign for it to happen. It is a tough situation, but if you would like to more about it send me a message and I will let you know how it went for us. you can also email me at [email protected]____.com

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

When you had the dna test if a man was shown to be the father and he signed paternity papers then it gets alittle sticky. I never married my daughter's father so when she was born he had to sign a paternity paper claiming he was the father. If that man did the same thing then that man has to sign over his rights to her for your husband to be able to legally adopt her. This is was my fiance would have to do to legally adopt my daughter. I know that every state is alittle different. This is the here in PA where I am. The best thing to do is to consult an attorney. Many have free consultations. I hope that this helps you.

P.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Dover on

I have a similar situation, my son did know who his father was but he left when my son was 5 and my husband and I have been married for 6 years now and when I met my son was 8. When my husband and I got married my son who at the time had my last name thought that his name was changing also. So when my son was 12 we decided to have his name changed to ours. He was old enough at that time to make that decision for himself. We don't regret the decision, we didn't need the biological fathers permission as we weren't receiving child support at that time and the judge asked my son what the reason was that he wanted to have his name changed and his response was so that my name is the same as my family's and I will feel more apart of the family then I do now. My suggestion would be to contact an attorney for a consultation, I was told that for the adoption to take place the father would have to agree to that and sign papers. I hope that this helped and if there's anything else I can help with please let me know. Good luck, and have a wonderful life together.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.Y.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My husband adopted my daughter last year. I initially went to a lawyer for a legal name change and she encouraged me to discuss adoption with my daughter to see if she wanted to be adopted by my hudnad- she was 12 at the time, my husband had been with her since she was 3. She chose adoption. It meant a lot to her to truly belong. The bio father's name was not on the birth certificate, but I had to name him in the petition for adoption and he had to be served with papers and given the opportunity to relinquish rights, or not. Long story short, he did not want to relinquish rights, nor did he want to take care of my daughter. We set court dates with our attorney sitting there at $500/hr and he wouldn't show. Because he was so unreasonable, the process was long, costly, and frustrating. In the end, we were happy we did it, because we never have to worry about him popping up out of the blue. Financially, I'm not sure it is widely known, but the government refunds 100% of legal costs for adoption up to $10,000, so that was pretty cool. Good luck to you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

I was in the same situation with my son and although I never went through with either option I was told as follows:

For a legal adoption to take place the biological father has to agree and sign papers which would terminate his parental rights and/or obligations. For the name change I believe it has to be published in the paper for a period of time or the other parent has to sign.

The name change would NOT terminate his parental rights/responsibilities and he will be able to petition for visitation etc., and therein lies the difference.

I would consult an attorney. Most have free consult for your first visit.

Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi H.,

I was in a very simialer situation with my daughter who is now 9. First thing is your child's biological father's rights have to be either terminated or he has to sign them over to you, at that point you can then go threw with the adoption. In my case it was hard simply because I had to go to court to get "his" right terminated in other words I had to prove him unfit, which was not hard considering he had alot of issues, then my husband adopted her right away. It was the best decision I made for her. Now we have another baby who just turned 1 in Nov. and things are great.
Good luck to you.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I changed my son's name by simply writing the new name on the back of the birth certificate - having it notarized - sending it in. Thw whole process took 6-8 weeks, very easy with no drama.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from State College on

H. my children were adopted by my husband. They still have contact with the biological father also. They were a lot older than your daughter. Contact a lawyer, if you can get her biological father to sign a paper saying he will give up his parental rights that would help. The kids did not have to do anything when we went to court really. The judge just ask if this is what they wanted too, they said yes, and it was over. It was not a hard process, not extremely expensive either. GOOD LUCK!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi H.,

There are lawyers that deal specifically with adoption. Here is the website www.adoptionattorneys.org , they have a map so you can search for one near you. I would just call the ones in your area and ask what the fees are.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from Harrisburg on

i have a 6 year old daughter. my husband of 3 years now just adopted her this past summer. she has never known any other father figure either. fist off...does her "father" have any rights? does he pay any child support? if so you have to get a lawyer to get you a court date to termante his rights. then lead you threw an adoption process. i would say the best thing to do is to hire a really good lawyer who has experience in adoptions. then everything should fall into place.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions