Humping

Updated on June 26, 2008
S.L. asks from Louisville, KY
31 answers

My daughter is one and within the past 2 to 3 weeks has started "humping". It mostly happens when I'm trying to get her to sleep for a nap or bedtime. It's a little uncomfortable because I've never seen nor heard of this before. I just ignore it but it's still a bit uncomfortable to watch. She had her 12-month check-up earlier this week and the doctor told me that this was normal and to continue to ignore as long as it's done in private. If in a public place and she starts; just pick her up and distract her. I've asked friends who has small children if they experienced this and none have. Have any of you seen, heard or experienced and if so, how long does it last, etc?

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So What Happened?

Thank you so, so, so much for all of your responses. It's good to know this is "normal", although a bit uncomfortable to watch. For this to be happening so freguently, I have been unable to find any information online. I will continue to "ignore" this behavior in the hopes that it stops before the age of "4". :) Again thank you all!

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C.J.

answers from Hickory on

I have a friend whose daughter did this also starting right around her first birthday and she had been told by a friend that it was normal and the doctor also confirmed the same thing.

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K.H.

answers from Greenville on

I really think this could possibly be a sign of what they call autism. Maybe thats how she self soothes.. Just a suggestion

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

Is she rubbing against anything, or just rocking her pelvis? If she's rubbing something, her vulva may be irritated. If not, it's normal. Don't sweat the small stuff! (And it's ALL small stuff!) LOL

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A.V.

answers from Knoxville on

none of my own kids did this (2 boys, 1 girl) that i ever noticed, but my mom said i used to! i don't remember at all, but now, i almost always have to have my leg bouncing on the edge of the bed if i am not already very sleepy, or i at least twitch my foot to "rock" myself to sleep and i am 34 yrs old! :D
i taught preschool for years, and had several kids (both sexes) do that at naptime, and only once was it "sexually" related - came from living in a small camper with her very young, active parents! - in most of the cases, it seemed to be just a rhythmic rocking. i hate to even call it "humping", esp at young ages. i have only used that in reference to animals...

anyway, you can probably gently guide her into some other form of rocking herself to sleep, or do it yourself sometimes and see if it stops. my mom told me she would just sit on the edge of my bed (only works once they are out of the crib obviously) and gently bounce until i fell asleep - we assume that is why i still bounce myself to sleep!

don't fret - there are alot more things you will have to worry about in her life! :)
A.

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E.M.

answers from Louisville on

i have worked in child care alot... and i want to tell you its totally normal if it makes you uncomfortable just distract her. she will grow out of it i promise some kids did it for a month some a bit longer but i can assure you it wont last forever

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C.C.

answers from Nashville on

I thought my daughter was the only one... she is 2 1/2 and has been humping in her car seat for about 1 1/2 years... I was wondering when it would stop.. usually when she gets tires cuz it puts her right to sleep... my husband is very annoyed by the sound and when we are driving, (I'm driving) he holds her feet and usually starts to cry. If she is distracted by a book or food she usually stops... she used to do it in her high chair all the time but that has stopped. I don't know why she does it and I haven't really aggressively tried to stop her cuz she'll just do it anyway. So I guess my advice would be not too worry much about it ... her legs and stomach muscles are very strong. She is doing it less now though if that's any consolation.
Cindy

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J.H.

answers from Greensboro on

My daughter started at the same age and now at 7 years on occasion will twist her blanket up and do it to help herself fall asleep. The day care freaked out and made a big deal the Dr said it was fine and it does not bother anyone so we let her be. The one rule we gave her as she got older was that your privates are very special and just for you so if you want to "snuggle" them you go to your room alone. If you make it taboo it could have a reverse effect.

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T.S.

answers from Fayetteville on

My daughter did this. I can't quite remember how long it lasted. It didn't help that my husband and I cracked up everytime she did it. We just found it hilarious. She is almost two and its been quite a while since she stopped. I think it's just a phase.

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J.H.

answers from Greenville on

my granddaughter did this. it is normal but distracting and speaking to her as she gets older helps.

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C.W.

answers from Nashville on

I also have a daughter who does the same thing. Mine did not start until she a little older,maybe 4 yrs old. Like your daughter it happens when she is trying to settle herself. Our pediatrician said the same thing that it is normal and okay. We have told her that if she must do it she has to be in her room by herself.That it is a private thing. It is definitely strange to see you child doing that and it really freaks my husband out. We want her to be comfortable with her body and not ashamed of what she is doing. If I see her doing it I will try to get her to do something else or take her out to the park or on a walk. If she refuses then I tell her she must be in her room with the door closed.(I also have a 3 yr old daughter who does not do this)Sometimes she will go for long periods of not doing it then all of a sudden will start again. I guess eventually they will grow out of it but who knows when. I don't think it is anything for us as mothers to feel ashamed of. It is just our children discovering a little about their bodies. I do hope this helps to know that there are other children doing this and it really is normal.

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V.B.

answers from Louisville on

My daughter started doing the same thing around that age and my Dr. gave me the same advice. We tried not to make a big deal out of it and now she rarely does it (she is turning 3 next month). I'm sure it's very naturally, they just happened to figure out that it feels good, so they want to continue doing it.

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B.L.

answers from Memphis on

I think it is normal and you are doing right by ignoring it.

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K.T.

answers from Charlotte on

S.,
My son who is 19 months just recently started doing it about a week ago. I was told that it was normal and they will grow out of it, so I don't make a big deal about it, but I too find it distracting.

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D.G.

answers from Johnson City on

Hi Steph. I'm a 55 year old nurse, but sorry, I have not come into contact with any cases, nor have I heard of it. I hope some moms out there will have some useful comments for you. D..

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G.S.

answers from Goldsboro on

I have a niece that would sit on the arm of the couch with her head on the back of the couch and hump. We realized she was doing this when she got tired so we tried to distact her away from that and tried other things for her to go to sleep. She is now 4 and is pretty much over this habit. I did however see her a few weeks ago doing it but that was only 1 time. To make you feel better, she never did this in public!! But then again it did not matter who was in the house cause she would do it no matter who was there!
Hope this helps and makes you feel better!

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A.J.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi S.,

Try looking at some of the other posts that came up about 2 months ago on this same issue. Those may help. :) I put my 2 cents in then also, let me know if you need anything more.

Amanda

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M.D.

answers from Fayetteville on

I have 2 children and both have done this. I was worried to and the dr said the same thing and i believe you can research it online, but it is normal and yes to me its kind of disturbing to see my children doing this. if i see them do it i distract them whether its in private or not. But dont freak out there is nothing wrong wth your daughter, it is normal. just doesnt seem normal to us. i asked my mother if any of her kids did this when we were younger and she said yes. would never say which ones so we werent embarassed. hope this helps or makes you feel better.

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I.N.

answers from Raleigh on

Yeah, this happens. She's a little young to explain the public/private thing to, but your doc sounds on track as far as just distracting her when you're in public. When she gets a little older, you can tell her to only do it in private. I don't think I've seen it last past 4.

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T.C.

answers from Fayetteville on

When my son was this age(now 3) I used to call him "the pole humper" It only lasted for a few months. Anytime I would see him doing it would just tell him no and to go play(we were usually at the Chick-fil-a play area). I honestly didn't even no he had stopped until I read your question and remembered that he usedto do it. :)

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S.M.

answers from Raleigh on

My friends daughter is almost 2 and she "humps" her stuffed cat. :) She has done it for about a year now, but only when she is tired. She was told the same thing you were.
I guess the answer is yes, your daughter is not the only one and it is natural. :)Even though it is embarassing.

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L.J.

answers from Lexington on

Hi S., my daughter has done this and she is now 15. There is nothing wrong with her. It's their way of calming them selves down.

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K.L.

answers from Charlotte on

My son started doing this when he was about 3 or 4. Same thing as you said, during nap time or bed. My husband freaked out. I guess it didn't freak me out because I took some child development classes in college so I sort of remember some of the stages children go through. They are just exploring their bodies. We asked my some why he was doing it and he said because it felt good. Well, we couldn't really argue with that. We told him that he could only do that in his room in private. It's one of those uncomfortable things that we go through with our children. My son is 5 1/2 now and I have not seen him do it in quite a while so I'm hoping he's sort of forgotten about it for a while. Don't worry.

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K.D.

answers from Atlanta on

Mine started doing the same thing around that age. She was squeezing her legs together really tight and sometimes breaking a sweat. My pediatrician said the same thing, and I think we made too big a deal of it. My daughter is 3 1/2 now and she still does it, although rarely. She seems to do it less if we do ignore it. But most of the time she is in her bed (at least now). I was surprised too when my little girl started doing that, it can be really embarrassing, but I am glad to know that my ped. wasn't lying when she said it was common. I've never talked to anyone else whose daughter was doing that too. But, then again I don't guess that's something that comes up when you're talking to people you don't know!

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M.F.

answers from Detroit on

Ahhh, yes...the "humping" phase. Both of my daughters did this and it didn't last long. I think it's a combo of them being aware of their uncomfy diaper and trying to sort of "rock" themselves to sleep. That's my theory anyway. Also, at this age they are more aware of their body parts and how certain things feel. I know it sounds perverted but it's natural. Just be sure not to yell or speak too harshly when it does happen. Like the doc said...distract her.

Don't worry, it'll stop soon.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

I have not experienced it but have heard of it. It was on a talk show once and they too said it was completely normal. They said to ignore it and distract them, what your doc told you. I would not like it either, I would do my best to distract everytime. I am sure it is normal but I just would not like to see it. especially at that young age. I had heard it can be around 2 or up and they do it even on a swing, whatever they sit on.....maybe google some ideas...or ask a different doc but I would assume ignoring or distracting is about it. Good luck

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C.L.

answers from Charlotte on

I think it's uncomfortable for us to watch because we put a purpose behind it that it's somehow sexual. For her, it's likely just a soothing routine she's developed. I'd just continue to make no fuss over it; my son did it for a little while, and I'd just rub his back to calm him. Most of the kids I know of who've done this are usually doing it when they're fighting sleep - in an effort to stay awake somehow. It's my understanding and experience that it goes away just like every other little developmental quirk - once babies learn a new task they like to perfect it, so I wouldn't be surprised for you to see it become more frequent and then eventually she'll move on to the next new way to move her body!

good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

None of my children did this, but I used to work in a day care center. At nap time there were a couple of girls who did this at. We tried to put their cots where the other kids would not see what was going on, but other than that we didn't do anything about it. We had been told by the director of the center that it was normal.

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

I God son did it when he was younger and was tierd. It looks sexual, but it is not for them....We did not pay attention to it and he outgrew it.

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S.P.

answers from Raleigh on

My neice Hannah did that a lot until she was about two and a half or three. My sister teaches educational psych at UNC Charlotte, and was very familiar with it. She insisted that it was fine and developmentally normal. She actually would not let the babysitter criticize her daughter for it. It stopped while she was very little. Well, now Hannah is almost 17, very well adjusted, and she just finished playing in a southern closed tennis tournament. She's an amazing student, all A's and has been #1 on her high school's tennis team since she was a sophomore. So with regard to my niece, my sister was right. She made no big deal about it, and it went away eventually.

I've also seen it with other kids. I don't think it's that unusual.

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C.P.

answers from Charlotte on

This concerned me as well with my daughter but I did research online as well as I have talked to the Dr and it is normal. I was told not to make a big deal of it. If yoy google it or go to ask.com you can get alot of information. Just be careful some of the sites that come up are not what you are looking for. My daughter is 4 and she has stopped I have only found her doing it 1 time in the last year.
Good luck

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H.M.

answers from Raleigh on

I have seen this with lots of little ones, especially at nap/bed time. I agree with several of the other mothers that this is just a way to calm themselves down. Try and look at it that way, and not as anything wrong.

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