My nanny is getting married this July, and has asked that my son and daughter be in her wedding. I'm of course thrilled, but since I've never done this before (I didn't have any children in my wedding party), I am wondering if my daughter will be able to do it. My son will be 4, so I think he'll be fine as the ring bearer, but my daughter will only be 2 (in May) and I'm not sure she'll have the capacity to be able to do the flower girl thing. She's a pretty typical two year-old girl, complete with tantrums and a willfulness that I never knew existed (my son was super easy in comparison), and I'm just worried that even if she's able to get the concept of walking down the aisle with the flower basket, she might have a meltdown in the middle of the ceremony. She's very much a girly girl and will definitely love getting dolled up, so I think she'll enjoy it if all the stars align, but I'm torn. I know every child is different, but any advice or experiences would be welcomed.
Thanks so much to everyone for advice on this. I think we've decided that my daughter won't officially participate in the wedding, but will still get to wear a beautiful frilly "flower girl" dress. This feels like the best solution for us all around. Thanks again!
My flower girl was 18 months .. she was my niece-to-be. :) She walked down with a six year old ring bearer and it went fine. My daughter is two and I feel she'd do fine. She's pretty outgoing. That sometimes makes the difference. Just be prepared for her to balk ... in that case move on without her. No amount of forcing will drag a 2 yo down an aisle with a lot of people watching.
I had my two "nieces" in my wedding and loved it! The youngest was 2. We had a 7 year old boy pull her down the asile in a red wagon, decorated in tooling and flowers. It was great. We also had a 4 year old boy as a bell ringer (instead of ring bearer).
I say go for it, but make some provisions. If they want her to walk down the asile explain it all to her and have someone for her to sit with in the frount aisle. IMO it's too much to expect her to stand with the wedding party the whole time. Tell her to walk to so and so. And maybe even tell her that they will have some candy for her. Even with that talk to the babysitter and come up with a plan of what to do if she won't walk. I've seen an usher (the little ones dad) carry the little one down the aisle, and it got a giggle.
Don't worry to much about meltdowns. People don't expect perfect behavior from the flower girl. It's one of the times people might think it's cute! But do have someone available to take her out too if she becomes distracting.
You are right, Kids are different. When my bestfriend got married, my son who at the time was only 4yrs old was the ring bearer and my niece was the flower girl (she had just turned 3). I think that, the fact that they knew each other really made it easier for the kids.
My daughter was a flower girl for my sister last summer at age 2 1/2. She wasn't perfect, but it was very cute, and everyone understood that she's just a toddler! We had my mom sit in the front row with a lollipop for her, which she knew she would get after walking up the aisle. The cutest part was when she started throwing flower petals into the air, rather than just dropping them. I've also seen weddings where someone pulls the young flower girls up the aisle in a wagon, which was very cute. Because she's a nanny, I'm sure it's important to her to have children in the wedding, and she knows that they may not be perfect!
In my wedding the flower girl was 18 months- and my daughter was a flower girl when she was 27 months old. Both went fine. Everyone thinks little children are adorable as they're walking down the aisle- even if they look scared or they don't really do what you want them to.
I am sure that your nanny knows your daughter well. If she asked for your daughter to be her flower girl, I am sure she is prepared for her to be herself that day.
I had my niece as my flower girl. She turned three a few weeks after my wedding. I knew she was young but wanted her to be able to participate. Our theory was if she walked down the aisle, great. If she stood nicely for pictures, great. If not, we understood. Our nephew was the ring bearer and he was a year older than our niece. We had them practice at the rehearsal and I gave my niece my practice bouquet from my shower and they both did great! The day of the wedding my niece made it halfway down the aisle and stopped and realized she couldn't find me, grandma or her dad and got a little nervous, but our nephew was great and stopped with her and waited for her to find grandma and helped her walk the rest of the way up the aisle. She ended up sitting on Grandma's lap during the whole ceremony rather than standing with us, but that was fine. She is in a few pictures and then got bored so she went and played while we finished up. Again, it was fine with us.
So what I am trying to say is that I am sure your nanny is prepared for your daught to act like a normal 2 year old. Whatever she does will be cute. I would suggest that you suggest to your nanny that your son and daughter walk up the aisle together and that possibly you or someone your children know very well sits on the aisle close to the front to be able to encourage them. Also, you may want to make sure your nanny is comfortable with your daughter sitting down during the ceremony if she doesn't want to stand up the whole time.
My one last suggestion would be for you to get a book about being a flower girl and ring bearer for your children and to practice for a couple months before the wedding. My Sister-In Law even found a video at the library for my nephew to watch and he was a pro by the time the wedding arrived. We gave a book to each of the kids and I think it helped them to know what was expected of them and to also get them excited about their important roles. There are quite a few books out there to choose from.
Good Luck,
D.
I had 3 flower girls. My sister was my matron of honor and she carried my niece down who was only 9n months, but i wanted her to be part of our wedding. my other 2 flower girls were 2 and 3 and they did an awesome job. They threw the flowers down the aisle, but they did not stand up at the altar with the group. they sat with their parents. they were announced with the rest of the bridal party at the reception and did a great job. good luck!
My girls were flower girls last year, ages 3 & 2 and did fine. They even stayed at the alter the entire time and didn't know any of the bridesmaids (it was my nephews wedding). I read them books about being flowergirls and I think that helped. Just let her know what is expected of her and I'm sure she'll be fine.
My daughter was the flower girl in my best friend's wedding...she had just turned 3 two month before the wedding and it as a nightmare!! First of all, we were up late the night before for the rehearsal dinner, then we had to get up early to get our hair done on the day of the wedding (it was an 11:30 a.m. wedding).
My daughter had the most beautiful dress (it matched the bride's) and she looked adorable. I was also in the wedding (maid of honor). My daughter would not walk down the aisle, just stood there and cried. My husband had to carry her down the aisle to the front (it was an outdoor wedding). Then my daughter just stood next to me through the whole ceremony and cried. When the ceremony was over and we were getting ready to eat at the reception, she fell asleep on the floor!!
I think she would have done better had it been a later wedding and she wasn't so tired. Two is awful young to be a flower girl....if you decided to haver her do it, make sure the bride K. that things could go NOT as planned!! Good luck!
