How Would You Feel About This Workplace Situation?

I've been on both sides of this - both as a manager/supervisor, and as the one who has been pregnant.

Honestly - you're going to be far more tired when you've had the baby than you are now. I wonder how you worded it to your boss. I would be very careful is what I'm trying to say.

It's irrelevant what they do/have done for others. That will come off as looking petty.

Your sleep patterns are of no concern to your boss. That's your private business. If your health affects your work, then talk to your doctor as Wild Woman Suggests.

It's not your employer's concern. If you had an HR department then you would take your doc's note to them. Since you don't have one, you would take the note to your boss.

Otherwise, I would just continue on as best you can.

If they throw you a party or not ... usually it is a surprise or it was in my case.

You have 2 weeks until you go on leave. You have limited energy and time. I don't understand why you're continuing to fight this. You can manage for 2 more weeks. I suggest you focus on taking care of yourself and your baby. The stress of fighting your company is not good for the two of you. Two weeks will pass quickly.

Perhaps you're asking if you should look for a different job? Don't quit now. I suggest that you decide about that later so that you have options down the line. Do what is best for you, the baby and family now.

How I would feel is not important. I'm a different person and not in your situation. How you feel is important.

I was unhappy in my first job. I quit and entered a new field. The reasons I was unhappy followed me to my new job. I learned that I needed to adjust the way I think about what was happening. One of the most important lessons was to stop taking things personally. Doing that was difficult. Counseling help me to see how my feeling hurt and unappreciated affected my work and relationships at work.

Companies have employee manuals and policies. What does yours say?

It's a manager's decision to allow or not allow telecommuting. If your offer letter doesn't state "virtual or telecommuting possible" then your manager doesn't offer it.

You're not happy there. Start looking for another job. If you are not dependent upon your employer for health care and are covered under your husband's? Give your two weeks notice.

It doesn't matter what they did or do for someone else in regards to a party and flowers. That you heard they aren't doing one for you? Could be they are trying to surprise you. I don't know.

If your boss/manager has intimated that he doesn't feel like you will come back after maternity leave, have you given him reason to believe you are not? Do you have it in writing or recorded? If so? You might be able to S. for discrimination.

Check with your OB/GYN about short term disability.

the company is required to not discriminate against you for being pregnant.

not letting you work from home (if there was never any prior agreement that you'd be able to) because of insomnia isn't really a company problem. i'd be unhappy too, but there it is. some guy in another department who gets to do it doesn't necessarily mean you do. you don't know the details of his situation, nor should you.

worrying about your lunch isn't germane.

it's no surprise that your maternity leave is going to be problematic. unless your job is completely unimportant, it's natural for you boss to be concerned about your absence, isn't it?

but you sound unhappy. maybe take your leave and look for another job.
khairete
S.

At this point I'd probably just drop it and work the last couple weeks. Once you are on maternity leave you can decide to go back or look for other employment.

I telecommute full time and I can see why your supervisor might not be comfortable with this type of work situation. Being a virtual supervisor is different than supervising people you can see. Plus he might think 'If I let X telecommute part time then Y and Z will want to do it'.

How frustrating! There are laws that protect you even if your company doesn't have an HR department. Someone is in charge of compliance. That's probably someone who heads up the payroll department who handles things like workers' compensation and other legalities. If the policy book says 4 weeks notice, there may be more info in that document or additional policy materials. It wouldn't hurt to go to that person and say you have some additional questions and you would like to see the materials on file. That might raise a red flag that someone in the company (your boss) isn't following the law.

Your boss may be in the dark ages about women being real people, and he may think it's okay to say things about what his wife did and so on. It's not. The other manager sounds more compassionate and perhaps better informed. But those 2 managers report to someone else, right? So that would be someone to contact after you first get info from the closest person on the staff to an HR person (who handles insurance, compliance, tax withholding and other issues).

I would call your ob/gyn and ask what to do about the insomnia and what sort of letter might be required for a short-term disability like this insomnia. You might also check into your city or state commission against discrimination. They may be able to help you with procedures or at least legal statutes. That doesn't mean you have to file a big complaint right now - it just means you are getting information. For example, knowing specifically what your supervisor is allowed to say and not say, what questions can be asked about your intent to return, and so on, would be great to have.

The company isn't required to let employees work at home, but applying policies inconsistently or randomly toward some employees and not others, or to men and not to women, is a no-no. They cannot treat pregnancy differently from other medical conditions or disabilities, whether temporary or permanent.

They aren't required to give a lunch or gifts, so I would set that aside. I know it hurts, but if that was a departmental thing in that other woman's area or if she worked for the company for a lot longer, it might have been a more casual thing than a company policy/expense. Try not to mention that, at least not now. The real issue is accommodating to your work needs, reasonable accommodations according to the law, and the inappropriate comments being made by your boss.

Good luck!

I don't recall if this is federal or state law because it's been forever since I've given birth and laws change, but at least in my state, there are laws that require employers to make reasonable accommodations for pregnant employees, You would need a note from your doctor, which they should be able to easily provide, that would basically say that due to pregnancy-induced sleep issues, you would benefit from working from home. If your employer doesn't comply, you can sue for pregnancy discrimination. Typically just the threat of that is enough to make a company straighten out a manager who is being unreasonable. Washington is a pretty progressive state so I would be surprised if your state didn't have similar protections. And your in a field where if this backfires and you end up needing to leave the firm, you should be able to find a better firm without much difficulty. In n a time of full employment with a market demand for talent, a company that isn't actively working to develop family-friendly work policies isn't a company worth working for. It's 2018, not the stone age. Pregnancy is a medical condition that can result in varying degrees of disability and employers have to make reasonable accommodations during this period.

Working from home is still working.
You'd still need someone to watch your child while you work.
All it does is save you a commute.

It's hard when you see someone with a perk that you want.
You don't know how he got it.
Maybe he's got some good dirt on someone - you never know.
Some businesses are just not that family friendly.
They'll pick and pick at mothers to be and new mothers - and have no qualms about the men dropping everything for a round of golf.
They aren't going to make it pleasant for you and coming back off leave won't be easy either.
Use them to pad your resume and then look for a more family friendly company.

ETA: This may help you: https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/pregnancy.cfm

welcome to mamapedia.

What exactly do you want or expect to happen?
ARE YOU COMING BACK after maternity leave?

It doesn't matter what they did for someone else. Maybe she's been at the company longer than you. But giving an employee flowers and a party are NOT mandatory things.

IF your OB/GYN can write up a disability form for you - stating you are not able to work - short term disability due to insomnia and go on short term disability.

There should be some sort of HR Department - payroll - etc.

The other manager can make decisions about his team. Not all managers need to have the same policies - it's nice. Does your company have a policy and procedure manual? An employee handbook? ANYTHING? Read it and see what it says.

I'm confused. You said you have another 5+ months until the baby is born, I'm not sure why you only have a couple of weeks until you go on maternity leave.
You may not have been there to earn the privilege of working from home, he may think you will be napping and planning baby stuff.
Hang in there, good luck with the baby.

Are you planning on going back? If it were me, I would eventually look for a different job after having the baby because I like working for someone more flexible and easy going. I also like working part time. It sounds like it IS hard and tricky for them to not have you be there for a while. They need you. Your direct supervisor feels like he needs his people there, he doesn't let his people work from home, and he's not into throwing parties.This is not personal towards you...it's just him and his beliefs. Good luck.

I think I would go to an employment attorney who understands the Family Leave Act. You need to know if it's 50 or MORE employees or less than 50 employees. It matters.

The attorney can write a letter to your supervisor. Tell the lawyer everything you've detailed here (except about the lunch since that doesn't matter.) Having this lawyer will make sure that they don't fire you while you're on maternity leave.If you've had a letter sent to them about this issue, they know you won't put up with being fired after you go have that baby.