How Traumatic Is It, Really, to Quit BF Cold Turkey?

i just did this at 25 months. i had tried putting icky tasking stuff on my nipples - it was funny how stinky i became, and how comical my son found, and how much it did NOT work...

i just told him 'no boobie' at the times he usually asked. IE, in the mornings and at night. He still asks, but he knows now that everytime he asks for boobie, i tickle him and tell him they're not available. i do let him hold them. I say, you can touch the boobies, but they're not for drinking anymore. i also have let him go under my shirt and pretend he's in my belly - sounds so strange, but he asks all the time...some cute interpretation of babies and pregnancy. these new things seem to comfort him. lol.

for me, i started a mad-excersize routine to stave off any hormonal withdrawl effects...i notice a month later, i still can squeeze a little milk out. wondering when that will end.

You've got some good advice here....I completely agree to cut the nap feeding out first and then a couple weeks later the night one. When I stopped bf my son we were on vacation. He was distracted and I had my mom put him to bed at night. He was only 19 months so that might have made it a bit easier for me because he didn't ask a lot of questions like a 2 year old might.

If you can have someone else physically put her to bed at night that might work. That worked for us when we got home from vacation. I wasn't the last person he saw before he went to bed so it wasn't on his mind.

Not to be rude but I would not give her a bottle instead of the breast. That will then become yet another thing you'll have to take away from her and 26 months is pretty old to be drinking out of a bottle. (in my opinion).

Good luck! Every child is different but hopefully it won't be too hard for you.

Both Riley and Tina below, have valid and workable solutions.
My kids, like Riley's, are big kids and had GINORMOUS appetites even at that age and even during the night.
With my firstborn, my daughter, I was still nursing her... but it was not a lot by this point and she self-weaned at about 2.5 years old.
My son, self-weaned at about 1 year old (then I switched him to a bottle which he took happily), but his ginormous appetite still ensued... and even now at his age, and at growth periods, he needs a 'drink' and will swig an entire 9 ounce sip-cup and then some. Then he konks out again, back to sleep.

So for each child, it is different.
What I did with my eldest child is, though, is I talked about it to her, in a non-threatening way so she didn't get stressed about it. Then, one day she just stopped, cold turkey, all on HER own and her own pacing. She just told me one day "Mommy I don't drink (from you) anymore, I'm a big girl..." and then she giggled like she thought is was so silly that she used to nurse! Then that was it, and she never went back. Oh and like Tina mentioned, I would SHORTEN the nursing sessions... and not just let my daughter hang on for eternity. And she adapted to that. Then I would engage her/distract her to something else.

With my friends, they actually put band-aids on their nipples, and would tell their kids (who were about 2 years old) that Mommy's milk didn't work... or Mommy has a boo-boo. And they said that worked for them.

Sure, I was tired of nursing my daughter at her age... but I truly believed in self-weaning... and my Husband did too. He was actually proud of me that I did so, and would tell all his friends! *eek*. :)

But it stops one day, and it will become a distant memory.
Your daughter does not even nurse much now... but she wakes... but the waking is not necessarily due to "nursing" per say... it is something that would happen anyway, because at this age they are going through so MANY cognitive and even neurological and REM sleep pattern changes... that they don't know how to handle it and well, Mommy's boobs are the thing that comforts them, and her closeness.
So....

Even once my girl self-weaned... she still would wake during the night. She would get afraid of the dark and the noises and what not, or just wake to pee. Its normal. So, just stopping nursing alone, will not be a magical cure-all for night wakings.

Take it one issue at a time. Because, MANY more phases and sleep anomalies WILL occur. Yeehaa! Even teens wake at night and they don't know why. That's the thing, sometimes a child wakes because... and we don't know why. Even I wake during the night... and I'm an adult.

Talk to your daughter about it... and one day she will stop. Your boobs will return. And our bodies will be ours again. :)

My daughter went from my boobs, to having TONS of stuffed animals in her bed... and she called it her 'nest.' And sometimes she'd suck her thumb. She said it soothed her. So... from one thing to the next... we Moms will fathom and experience all of it. My son did the pacifier after having my boobs. It's fine. No biggie. And they are both truly independent kids and so well rounded and confident.

Your girl, will be okay. And your boobs too.

All the best,
Susan

Have you tried subbing a bottle?

Sure you'll still have to phase that out...but right now she's getting mummy-love and something warm to drink (warm milk works on 40 year olds...it's amazing how a bottle or sippy of warm milk will knock out a toddler).

We'd check in with our dentist every six months, but our son is a fast grower (4'5 inches at 6yo), and we'd put him to bed with a bottle (or later a sippy) of warm milk every night until he was 5. He still frequently has a mug of hot chocolate before bed. He dentist would check up on his teeth, but was quite frankly of the opinion that a)he has yet to see milk sugars damage children's teeth in over 60 years of practice, and that b) their teeth are so mobile that an extra 15 minutes of sucking on a bottle isn't worth raising an eyebrow at. (Our dentist is older than god, I live in constant fear of his retirement! But he keeps teaching and practicing no matter how many times he's threatened to. So knock on wood for us!)

Like TF said, you might try subbing out at naptime first.

Good Luck!

M.

I stopped breastfeeding my son at 22 months and I completly understand were you are coming from that it is time to have your body back.

I personally would try and cut out the nap breastfeeding first then after a few weeks stop the night time. When I stopped I was down to only night time. What I did was slowly wean him by only let him feed for a 5-10 minutes which relaxed him enough to fall asleep ever couple of days I would shorten the time that he feed. Once he was at like 1 or 2 minutes I would just sit with him on my lap and read books. Then I would put him in his crib and read him a few more books and tell him good night. He would fuss for a little while but would fall asleep with in 10-15 minutes.

The biggest thing is to have a bed time routine. Ours is bath, pjs, books in the living room, kisses and hugs, books in bed then lights out. He has just started wanting to read to himself after I leave the room so I leave the hall light on with his door open so he can see and he has not been fussing as much.

Good Luck
Tina

find La Leche League in your area. http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html
LLL leaders are trained to answer these type of questions.

Good Luck
V.

HI M., I think a nearly 2 year old is definitely ready to stop breast feeding. I know in some other cultures, kids still nurse until 4 or 5- but here we don't. So don't worry about that. I would talk to her in the day time and emphasize that she is getting to be a big girl and be sure and spend cuddle time with her during the day. It obviously is taking time, but be firm. When she wakes and fusses a lot- you or your husband can initially go in and pat her back, cover her up- etc. Be firm but kindly- don't nurse. Don't try to do too many household tasks the next few days, because it's going to take time and you all will be tired. I hope it goes faster.

Hi - I didn't read your other responses so sorry if I'm repeating.

I just went through this with my son in May. He was feeding only at night but ALL night (5pm, 7:30, 9:00, 12:00, 2:30, 5:30am) I was going crazy but felt so guilty because he loved it so much. He would do a celebration dance when I came home from work "booby time, booby time" not excited mom was home at all - just interested in the boob. Heartbreaking! We co-sleep so I knew it would be hard. After reading a ton of posts on here, I got the book Baby Whisperer and took some of the advice. We didn't stop co-sleeping so I kissed Isaac goodnight one late afternoon and said I had to go to work. I went to Target until they closed (I love the place!) came home, slept in the guest bed and laid awake crying all night. Each time Isaac woke up crying for boob, my husband gave him milk or water then they went and got some oatmeal... he actually was very hungry! Two nights in a row, he ate a whole serving of instant oatmeal. I felt guilty because I thought maybe he did still need it nutritionally. The third night, we fed him an extra meal of oatmeal before bed and he slept through the whole night! He has now adjusted to eating regular during the day and not waking up hungry at night. I moved back in the bed night four and wore a sweatshirt for about a week. I didn't want to be in the bed denying him boob - it was such a great experience for over two years, I didn't want to end breastfeeding with rejection. This was way less traumatic. Now, Isaac rolls over and sticks his hand down my shirt and just holds my boob but hasn't tried to drink it since that week! Good luck to you!

PS - ouch on engorgement. Squeeze some out in the shower everyday, that helped!

I don't think it is actually terribly traumatic to stop cold trukey - I did withh my first when she was 20 or 21 months because I was 5 months pregnant and the nursing was causing braxton hicks contractions. You may have trouble getting her to sleep, though. One suggestion - don't give her a pacifier as a replacement if you can avoid it. I did with mine, because it was so sudden and I felt so bad and I didn't know how I'd ever get her to sleep. But the pacifier became a big habit, because unlike my breasts she could take it with her wherever she went, and when we took it away at 3 she replaced it with her thumb. Now we have a kid who is an avid thumb sucker and about to start kindergarten. I wonder if it could have been avoided if we hadn't given her that pacifier.

Go to a Le Leche League meeting or read some of their books, you can find them online. Look at kids' behaviors who were self-weaned vs. force weaned. IF you have to force wean, take away one feeding every 2-3weeks.

Try putting lime on your nipple before feeding. Mine tasted that once, and said "Yucky". Each time I tried to feed her after that she'd just say Yucky, so I'd give her a drink in a cup. Be prepared though. Your breasts will get 3x as big, be rock hard, and occationally leak for about a week.

I talked to my daughter and said that the 'boobies' were sleeping during the night and had a sippy of water for her. That worked pretty ok, some fussing, but not that much. (we do co-sleep, so she still gets cuddles) the other thing was that she bit me, so I was in no mood continue, so we cut out the day time nursing pretty quick. then we got a little less everyday with the bedtime nursing, then I stopped. My daughter still askes sometimes, but I tell her that they are empty and she accepts that.
Cold turkey generally results in you hurting and the baby crying for about a week, then you should be ok.
Good job going so long with the BF!
Good luck
R.

Go out of town for a few days, maybe a weekend, without your daughter. Let your husband take her. I would try and make it at least 3 days. Your milk should hopefully dry up so there won't be anything there for her. During the time you are gone your husband should introduce a new ritual that is soothing for her before bed. If that doesn't work, put vinegar or tobassco sauce on your nipples. I know it doesn't sound very nice to do but if it doesn't taste to good maybe she won't want it. Good Luck, your a great mom for nursing as long as you did. Wish there were more moms out there who nursed!

It is only traumatic while you are doing it, once you are past it, really, she will not hold a grudge against you!! I know you wanted her to "be ready" but she will not give it up easily, because it is just so gosh darn comforting!! This means that you will have to replace this nice feeling with something else. Since it is mostly nighttime, you will have to determine what you can sleep with. Maybe some nice music and cuddling? You can shop together for some music (some music stores will let you listen before you buy) and have a conversation that this is the music you will listen to together when she wants to nurse - INSTEAD of nursing! Be sure to set up the plan with her. Come up with a reason for doing this that she will understand, like she is a big girl or whatever. And be sure to have a reward system set up. She is old enough to discuss this with her, so you have that as an advantage. Do not waver, do not back down. Your whole family has to be on board with this and truly believe that this is the right thing to do. There will be tantrums, there will be sadness.

When weaning my kids, I went shopping with them to get the coolest, most awesome sippy cups ever in the whole world. They each picked out their choice of 3 or more and they understood that there would be no more bottles and no more nursing, because they were big girls. It totally worked for my second daughter. With my first, she never drank milk in any form again. BUT - she also did not ask for bottles or nursing, so I guess it had its intended result!!

Good luck to you and your daughter! You will be able to get past this!!

My only tip would be to stop when dad can do all the sleep stuff. he does naps and bed time. You go to a differnt part of the house. that is what worked for us. She knows dad doesn't nurse, so she wont try. she'll have some tough nights.

I quit cold turkey! I wouldn't reccomend it, it wasn't that pleasant. BUT, mine was much younger, so I probably had lots more milk. I was pretty uncomforatble, had clogged ducts, etc. I pumped as much as I could and that helped a lot. You could probably quit cold turkey and pump at this point, at least to wean her off the breast. Just be careful, it's easy to get clogged ducts and possibly an infection and that would be REALLY uncomfortable and a hassle.

hi,

what worked for me, I started telling her, you are a big girl now, now more breastfeeding, look at your sister, look at anybody who comes to your mind, soon we have to stop

then we had doctor's appointment, her favourite bood 5 little monkeys where doctor says no more...

and one day I told her, I am so sorry, the doctor said no more breastfeeding... it was easier than I thought, she cried maybe 15 minutes, I kept telling her I am so sorry, doctor told me no more, finally it was me who was crying realizing that was it, I never had to breastfeed her again :)

good luck,

D.

I agree with those that suggested having the dad take care of the feedings (if possible) for a few days. I also happened to have a staph infection (while pregnany with next child) so used the sick card. I did pump a little while on antibiotics and once off them, I did let my daughter try to nurse a few times over the next couple weeks, but she would only try for a few minutes and then be done. I now think she wasn't getting much milk even before we quit- she was mostly comfort nursing. She did still bring up nursing here & there for a month or two, and rarely when she sees my breasts, but I now tell her the milk is all gone. I feel bad (she might sense that) but she's alright.

Good luck!

I'm gearing up to do the cold turkey thing for the 2nd time (my youngest will be 2 in October). The 1st time, was the day after my oldest daughter's 2nd birthday. I put band-aids on my nipples and told her mommy had "owies". She would kiss them to make them better and ask to nurse, but since mommy had owies she couldn't. It really worked well (except that I actually did get owies from the band-aids ;-} ).

I gave her a sippy cup of warm milk to go to bed at night (which she had nightly along with a sippy cup of water until she was 3 - now it's just a cup of water. We would lay down in her big girl bed, read a few stories and say her prayers. I snuggled with her and laid with her until she went to sleep. She eventually slept through the night on her own when she was about 3.

There was crying at first (okay, a lot), but after about a week, she stopped asking. Honestly, I think it was harder for me than it was for her. She is now almost 5 and is very sweet, loving, confident and well adjusted - not to mention really bright (must be the breastmilk ;-D )

You just have to make sure you are really ready, because once you start the process, there is no going back.

Good luck!

We went to Disnyland! Which was in effect cold turkey with so much distraction and excitment - the fell sound asleep on the way home- the kids (2 different times) never noticed til after the deed was done. So what I'm saying is after you have talked and talked and cut down to one or two nursings and you know it's time but your child is tenacious, get away from your day-to-day routine and try a bait and switch. My daughter caught on two days later but by then she had shown she could do without so any complaining seemed silly.

Hi!
I read some of the responses ....
Hands down my girlfriend had the best way .. she nursed til her daughter was 2 -- she had told her daughter that one day she would be a big girl and no more breast feeding .. she told her daughter that she would know as it would not taste good anymore .... about 2 weeks later she put either balsamic vinegar or cider around her nipples - enough to make her feel that it was YUK and that she was a big girl now ....as she nursed, she made a face and asked why it tasted icky and mom simply said - wow, you must be a big girl now ... and she was done ..... brilliant!!! Good luck!!