"How to Wean"

Updated on July 01, 2008
S.C. asks from Canton, MI
11 answers

I feel like my milk is decreasing again and I cannot nurse her in the middle of the night without major discomfort, because all she is doing is sucking and not getting anything. When I tell her it is all gone she cries and pulls and tugs and it really breaks my heart. It then takes her a very long time to fall back asleep. Is there anyway for this to go smoother?

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S.M.

answers from Detroit on

Hi S.,

Here are some thoughts that come to mind that you might want to consider.
1. Are you pregnant again? If so, the hormones of pregnancy will suppress the hormones of lactation and cause the decrease in supply you mentioned.
2. Are you taking a hormonal form of birth control? The same thing can happen to the supply, because the hormonal BC makes the body 'think' it's pregnant. So the same thing can happen as in question 1.
3. Have you tried Fenugreek (an herb you can get in capsule form from a health food store) to help boost the supply? It can be really effective, as long as you're still regularly nursing or pumping to keep that supply stimulated. If you want info on the dosage, look up my name and email address on the Toledo LLL website at llli.org (then go to find a local LLL). Or you can call your local LC. She can give you that info as well.
4. Sometimes when you're due for your menstrual cycle, you can also feel a dip in the supply.
Keep yourself well fed, rested, and do moderate exercise. It can help too.

Best of luck,

S. M
LLLL, IBCLC, RLC

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D.M.

answers from Detroit on

My friend make a rule around that age that there was "no nursing until Mr. Sun comes up." It was hard but she stuck to it. At 18 months she should be able to put her self to sleep. Do you have a family bed? If so now might be a great time to transition her to her own room. Hope you get some rest soon.

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

I'm not sure what's going on that your milk has decreased. Many of us nurse our children longer than this and that often means at least one middle-of-the-night feeding. I'd suggest you go on the La Leche League website and read about this. It's www.llli.org and you can look under Resources then get their input on this. You can trust what they say. Also, at this age, you can talk with her before ged and when she wakens, and try to coax her to cuddle and then go back to sleep without nursing. Don't let her nurse when it's hurting. You'll damage your nipple and then it has to heal. You can tell her it's hurting and try to develop a routine to eliminate that feeding. Can Daddy get up with her during the night? I had my preteen daughter do that for a few days during the summer, and it worked. She told her we were all asleep, mama was asleep, it was dark out, and she could nurse in the morning. She was 18 months.

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C.L.

answers from Detroit on

Perhaps check out the book.. the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers by Elizabeth Pantley.. she talks about how to night wean (which is some ways is what you'll be doing). I hope it gets better.. I'm sure it's a challenging time for both of you.

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C.M.

answers from Detroit on

At 18 months she probably isn't really hungry at that hour, she just wants you. You could try not talking to her, just hold her, snuggle her, rock her or whateve it takes to get her back to sleep. If you really want to wean her as Le Leche League says "don't offer/don't refuse" Or, you could try to boost up your milk by taking in more liquids, but if she doesn't nurse much during the day, it probably won't be there for her at night. ALl the best to you, it isn't easy. Good Luck!

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C.W.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi hows are you? I think that maybe during the day teach her to do a sippi cup and at night transform her to take that. If you want to keep nursing drink lots of water and eat around every 2-3 hours a day that will bring your milk back. and pump even if she doesnt want to eat that will make your body produce more as well. good luck please tell me how it is going thank you god bless you

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F.W.

answers from Detroit on

Hi S.,

I don't hink you need advice on how to wean, because it is already happening naturally! Your daughter, at 18 months, does not need to eat in the middle of the night, she should be sleeping through without a feeding. It is about comfort. When she wakes up in the night, don't offer her your breast. Comfort her, and put her back down to bed. It will take a few nights of crying, but she will then understand the new routine. If you take her out of bed and cuddle with her you are substituting for the breast, and then you are going to be up every night cuddling The goal is to get her through the night where she can comfort herself and go back to sleep. She is already doing that after the river has run dry. If you really think she is thirsty, give her a sip of water. After 1 week of not breastfeeding, you will be enjoying hers, and yours, ZZZZZ's. Do it now, before your milk production increases to her demand, and then you will be more uncomfortable when you stop it. The few nights of crying will pass quickly. Hang in there!

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M.S.

answers from Detroit on

As always the moms around here have good info. My son nursed until 3 years of age. And I can tell you from about 15 months and on it was all for comfort. I had enough milk to
support a small country but my son would wake up every night wanted the comfort of sucking. He would not take a pacifier nor did he suck his thumb. Nursing was his way of settling down and putting himself to sleep. He did not suck hard enough like he did for food it was very obvious this was sucking for comfort. Because he relied on me for putting himself to sleep he woke up often during the night when most babies could put themselves back to sleep. I became pregnant again when my son was three (it ended up as a miscarrarage at 16 weeks).
At that time I was tired and my breast were sore from being pregnant so I stopped the nursing cold turkey. To my great surprise it was NO big deal to my son and from that day forward he has slept like a champ. He became the best sleeper. I put him down at 7:00pm and he always slept straight threw until 7:30am. The point for me was this. I always made a bigger deal out of changing things then needed to be. My son always adapted quickly and easily. I think we moms sometimes make it more of a big deal then need be because
of our emotions.
(my son just turned 7 last week and he still remains the best sleeper. He sleeps 12 hours a night no matter what. I am a firm believer of kids gettng plenty of sleep. He is 7 and goes to bed at 8:00pm and gets ut around 8:00-8:30am.
Good luck weaning your daughter. Go the fast and easy route.
Then you won't have to deal with it for ever and ever.

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M.P.

answers from Detroit on

S.,

I have found that when a nursing mother takes an Alfalfa supplement it negatively affects the taste of her milk. At that point the baby does not want it anymore.

M.

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D.H.

answers from Detroit on

I'm currently in the process of night-weaning my 18-month-old daughter, and I'm using this method outlined by Dr. Jay Gordon:

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

The first half of the page is just about his philosophy - you can get to the actual method if you scroll about half way down to "The First Three Nights". It is designed for use in the family bed, but can also be used if your baby sleeps in a crib. I used this with my son as well when he was this age and it took about 2 weeks before he was consistently sleeping through the night. Good luck!

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S.B.

answers from Detroit on

I second the advice about no nursing until the sun comes up! I used this with my daughter when I became pregnant again when she was around 18 months old. Nursing, esp at night, was just too uncomfortable for me. I had to set these limits to keep mom - and therefore baby - happy. There was one or two nights of crying, but I stayed with her, sang to her, rubbed her back, told her stories (I have memorized many of her story books). I also took a pillow and placed it between me and her - so she could not paw at my breasts.

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