How to Stop Throwing

Updated on May 01, 2009
R.J. asks from Woodbridge, VA
6 answers

My son is almost 22 mos old. When we ask him to hand us something he will turn and throw it away from us. Sometimes we are asking because it is something he should not have or we are just asking him to hand us something that he is close to. Sometimes he will throw things when he is done with it, like his sippy cup. I wonder is this normal behavior for his age. How can we correct it so that he will hand us things instead of throwing it or at least place things down when he is done with them.

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A.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Ha! My son used to throw his sippy cup too! It used to drive me nuts. If he was upstairs, you could always tell when he was done by the big clunk as it hiT the hardwood floor. I think it must be a normal behavior for the age. When he did that, I used to let whatever it was (especially the cup) get "lost" in the house in the general vicinity he threw it. So when He wanted it again, it would be this big "well, YOU threw it away somewhere, YOU have to find it" party. Sometimes(when it was actually time to get a new cup) I would just throw it away never to be found again. For a while he would get upset, but eventually he took heed and started bringing it to the sink or putting it on a counter. If he threw something that could actually hurt something we would make him sit in "chair" for a minute-positively torture in his book! He's 5 now and is actually pretty good about putting his stuff away(to keep it together and lose things) and not tossing stuff accross the room. So I wouldn't worry- I think it is just and age appropriate thing for boys and they are just discovering thier hand/eye coordination.

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J.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a son who turned 2 in Feb. who throws toys and anything he can get his hands on... drives me nuts! I put him in his crib for a little while by himself with the door closed. He doesn't like it, and it curbs the behavior for the moment. Sometimes I just have to say, "Do you want to go to bed? Or are you all done throwing?" That will sometimes work as well. I think it's just the age and testing the limits kind of thing. I don't like it, but I think it's normal.

Something else I've tried: I take him to a local stream or pond and let him throw sticks and rocks into the water. It's great to get outside with the boys - I also have a 4 year old - and they get to throw things and get dirty and enjoy nature. I use it as a teachable moment, too. "This is where you can throw things... not in the house." I also give them balls to throw back and forth in the back yard. I think it's better to redirect and give another option in addition to the "no." I think they receive it better, too.

Good luck.
~J.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I solved this using two things -- if my daughter threw something she shouldn't, I'd say, we only throw balls and soft things. Then I would say, "go find a ball!" and she would throw it.

If she threw anything while at the table, I ended her meal immediately. "If you throw, you are all done eating."

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C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My son is 22 months and does the exact same thing, mostly with his sippy cup or fork. Usually, while he's drinking, if I say, "please hand me your cup when you're done," he'll give it to me or place it on the table, but if he's in a mood, he'll throw it out of anger or just for the fun of watching me get it. When he throws anything, I look him in the eyes and say, "No! No throwing." Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. I'm curious to see if anyone else has better advice. Good luck.

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F.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

So first, this is totally normally, I think they all go through it. Second, that doesn't mean you shouldn't stop it. It's almost one of those things where in the beginning it's just to see what happens and then it's to see how far they can push you. We do two things, one is time out, 1 min for each year (so you would be at 2 mins) and even at that age it seemed to work and the other is when he threw a toy of his, like when he was done playing with it, we put it on top of the fridge for a while. Usually, even though he didn't want it anymore taking it away upset him, he definitely didn't want us to have it, so we put it up there and set a timer for him to get it back. Both of these really curbed the behavior, though every once an a while still he'll throw something (he's 3) and we repeat and it seems to work, instead of throwing everything all the time, we go through it once every couple of weeks. It does get worse when they're tired though!! Good luck!!

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

hi R.,
yup, completely normal! and yup, awfully aggravating<G>. i like jean's response. i don't think time-out is good for this particular trait (although it is for many others) at this age because there's not a connect. at a little under 2, the cause-and-effect should be obvious.
for starters, make a clear (and simple) distinction between what can be thrown and what can't, eg 'you can only throw things outside.' then when he throws things like his sippy cup in the house, take them away. he will roar. this is good. later, when the storm has passed, he can have the item back, with the admonishment 'don't throw it.' he will anyway. take it away again. he will roar. this is good. do this until you think your eyeballs will melt. he will get it, this is a phase you'll never have to encounter again, and you can move onto all your new challenges.
have fun!
:) khairete
S.

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