How to Respond to People Commenting on Pregnancy Weight?

Updated on March 25, 2010
M.M. asks from Orlando, FL
49 answers

I'm writing to see if any of you have any suggestions on how to handle situations where people are regularly telling me how big I look pregnant. I'm 7 months pregnant and have gained about 16lbs. It was the same with my first, I gained around 30lbs in total, but at the time I had just moved to a new area so I didn't have many friends. Now I'm settled and have several mom friends and they regularly comment on my weight. I truly don't believe they mean to be hurtful by it, but I'm just reaching that level of being sick of it. I've been brushing it off and I'm sure it's the hormones but then when I'm alone I find myself in tears. I'm actually eating way less than I did with the first and I don't feel like I should have to cut back or start dieting since I'm not eating unhealthy in the first place (no fast food, fried food, etc....we only cook at home for the most part). On two different occasions I have had two different "friends" ask me if I'm sure I'm not carrying twins...and they were being serious. I don't want to flip out on them, but at the same time I don't see how another woman who also has children couldn't see how it would be hurtful. I'm 5'3 so the weight doesn't distribute all that great...it's mostly in my stomach and since I have a short torso it just goes out. I want to be kind and gentle with my words, but I feel like I need to have something better to say than just smile and nod as people make jokes about how big I am. Any ideas or words of encouragement???

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So What Happened?

Wow, you ladies have all been soooo awesome! It feels good to get some reassurance that I'm not just being hyperemotional or something and that it is indeed rude to comment on somebody's weight (really at any point in there life). I did finally get fed up and get short with someone....I tried to do it as kindly as possible, but the other day when I was at a playdate I overheard one mom telling another one "Don't comment on her weight whatever you do" so I'm not sure that everyone even gets it. Whatever!?!

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B.A.

answers from Tampa on

I got this a lot in my 3rd pregnancy and I'm tall. I was growing a 9lb baby though. Even my doctor was making jokes! I was not impressed. I actually told my grandmothers new hubby when he commented on how big I was that at least mine was a baby, what was his excuse?

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J.S.

answers from Hartford on

First of all, PLEASE don't let that bother you. There are a lot of women out there that just don't have that thing called common sense. You only gained 30 pounds your first time, I would say you did good! I also had a big belly and I actually had a excessive amount of amniotic fluid. See, I am sarcastic and I would say things right back, but that's me!! It reminds me of the moms that have super human children and they learn how to walk, talk, sign language, swim, ride a two wheeler and algebra by the age of 10 months!!! Don't listen to them, too many women are part evil!

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L.S.

answers from New London on

I'm 5 feet and was proud of my big preggo belly. I heard it all. You look like a snake that swollowed something.... Are you sure you aren't due now (nope, not for another 3 months!) Looks like you are having twins! Oh my, you could burst! Get out of the way... beep, beep, beep. heavy load coming. etc. etc. I just laughed it off and I loved it. No one meant any harm to me. It was fun for me. I didn't mind at all. But I can understand that some people are more sensitive to weight issues, so perhaps you can just give them a look to let them know you are uncomfortable with their comments. But it probably won't stop. I had complete strangers say that I looked much further along than I was or that they thought it was a boy since my stomach was so big, etc. etc. I just was so happy to know that my baby was healthy that it didn't bother me. You may want to ask yourself why it bothers you so much ... because everyone who is pregnant hears these things.

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P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi M.,
In my mind you have two options. The first you have been embracing, so you just need to decide whether to continue.......or maybe it is different with each person you encounter how you want to handle it.

Do your best to shrug it off. Most people don't mean anything by their remarks. In fact I often think that are trying to encourage. They may think "being big" is a healthy sign. You could do your best to continue to laugh it off by agreeing with them. Saying, "Yes, I'm a big pregnant lady! HaHaHa."

If you just can't do that, then in the kindest voice you can muster just tell the truth, "I know you aren't trying to hurt my feelings, but I am bothered by comments about my size. Would you mind avoiding them?"

I'm sure you look beautiful! Otherwise people wouldn't be so comfortable blurting out these comments. :)

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

First of all these people are just rude. You do not have to give anyone any explanation.

So you have a choice, you can answer back rude, " I know, I hope I can keep this weight on after the baby is born like you did!" Or you could say, "oh I am sorry, I will talk to my doctor about it."

Or you could give them a polite answer.
"Thank you for noticing." and move on.

People do not think. I have made this same mistake and then apologized over and over. I was just not thinking.. I felt so bad.

Bwahahahah! My husband said you should answer. .. "you know the good thing is that after I have this baby I am going to loose this weight, but to fix your giant nose, will take a professional.

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C.M.

answers from Austin on

If these are truly your friends, then stop them when they say something that hurts your feelings and say," Hey, I know you aren't trying to be mean, but that really hurt my feelings.". Look them in the eye and (if you are like me and super emotional) try not to cry. They should apologize and hopefully the word will get around that you aren't going to listen to criticism.
It never ceases to amaze me how mean people can be. Or how pushy. Like the people who just come up and grab your belly. Jerks.

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H.B.

answers from Chicago on

I'm 5'3" and went through this with my second. First baby: 103lbs to nearly 160lbs, mostly stayed inside so grandma was the one telling me it's twins. Second baby: about 113lbs to nearly 160lbs, worked at a Teller window...oh my the comments. I puffed out early on and my belly button pokes out like a pigs nose! Everyone really thought I would go early, all the older customers asked if I was sure there wasn't a second baby hiding. I just smiled and rubbed my tummy and said I'm not squishy, I'm all baby and hopefully its only one. Then I would repeat it to the same customer next week and so on. It didn't bug me as much because I knew my body was just doing its natural thing. Both babies were born one day after due date and were 8lbs 5oz and 8lbs 15oz (maybe too much fast food with the second). Now I'm 17 weeks pregnant and haven't gained any weight, but I puff out after I eat. The funny thing is the top of my uterus is still below my belly button, so it's not the baby pushing my tummy out.
My friend was grocery shopping with her 3 month old in an infant carrier and someone asked when she was due. She was just so shocked!
Long story short, society can be cruel. Just listen to your doctor and your body, because in the end you'll receive the most precious gift and in that moment none of this will matter.
Good Luck

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T.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi M.,
First: don't let it get you down. In the old days, you couldn't even talk about your pregnancy in public!

Second: here was my response to people's excitement over how "HUGE" I was getting:

"Hey, in a few months, *I* get to go on the One-Day-Eight-Pound diet plan. Yup, I'm going to lose 8 pounds in one day."

This always got a smile, and got most people off my butt about it :)

Congratulations on your new baby!
t

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

M.,

You poor thing. You are doing FINE. I gained between 30 and 40 lb's with each of my 3 pregnancies! Being 7 months along and only gaining 17 lb's is great.

I have a friend who is pregnant right now, and she was telling me the other day that a custodian at the school she teaches at came in and said "whoa - you must be due any minute... either that or expecting twins!". She's due in 6 weeks and only expecting one. She said she tried to laugh it off but I know it bothered her. We are all so self conscious when pregnant... try to embrace your body. Being pregnant is an amazing experience.

I think if I were in your shoes, I'd just tell them "when your short the baby has to go straight out". One woman in my prenatal yoga class last time around referred to her belly as her "torpedo". She was tall and her tummy really did go straight out, the rest of her didn't even look pregnant. She dealt with the oddity of having a huge belly by making light of it and enjoying it as far as I can tell.

Good luck to you, know that you need to continue your healthy eating and enjoy the pregnancy!

Jessica

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A.T.

answers from Portland on

I know this can be hard, but your weight gain is actually on the low side. It's just the first thing that pops into people's heads when they see someone pregnant I guess. I get it all the time & I know I'm actually underweight for how pregnant I am. So when people say I'm getting so big, am I having twins,e tc...I just say "thank you" now. But ffor you, it may help to just politely tell them that weight isn't someonething you wnat ot focus on now so if they don't mind, jst don't mention it to you. I think most people would understand. As for eating less...eat whatever you want! It will all come off after & really, your eating for baby, not you right now. And 17 lbs would be alot if you weren't preggers, but you are, just keep it in mind, you probably look great!

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

Look @ them SMILE tell them you are eating for 2!!!

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

I find it incredibly rude when someone does what you are going thru. The next time they make a comment about if you are carrying twins or your weight I would look them straight in the eye and say "Wow! That's really a personal question don't you think?" And walk away!

You certainly don't want to do any kind of dieting right now! Continue to eat healthy and focus on that gorgeous baby that will soon be here! Congratulations!

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B.H.

answers from Detroit on

I got those questions also. I was asked if I was having twins or people made comments on how big I was. Some people are just ignorant and don't know what to say or how to say it. to me its the same as asking a women when her baby is due when she is not expecting at all. I believe commenting on a person's weight is really a personal thing.
But it seems to me that when a women is pregnant people feel that they can make any type of comment they want on her appearance. Even going as far as to try and touch her stomach.
I would just try to ignore it because its only a temporary situation. But if someone trys to rub your stomach you have every right to put them in their place.

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M.P.

answers from Lakeland on

Hi M., I just wanted you to know that I am 5'3 and I weighed 134lbs before I got pregnant. I had to go through in vitro in order to concieve. Between the hormones that I had to take and the normal pregnancy weight gain, I gained 99lbs! Yes, I did. I looked like a beached whale! Everyone made fun and commented. Yes, it hurts because you don't feel your best and maternity clothes are not that cute but my beautiful daughter just turned a year old in February and all I can say to all those who made comments, I am now fifteen pounds away from my pre pregnancy weight. (Especially to all those cute pregnant people). I wish I could show you pictures of what I looked like because I promise, I looked like I was carrying quads! Congrats on your new bundle of joy.
-M. P.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

Unfortunately, people think they are being cute with those comments. I gained 46 lbs with my son and I measured 6 wks ahead - I truly did look like I was having twins and my dr checked repeatedly to be sure we hadn't missed something.

I would simply assure them that your doctor says everything is healthy and that's what matters. End. Of. Story.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi M.,
I think the best thing to do when someone makes comment about weight, is just simply tell them, "Thank you, I'll let the doctor know". I think that will let them know, the doctor is the professional and they are not. If they ask if it is twins, same thing. "The doctor said no, but I'll have to ask him to double check". Keep in mind, some people can be oblivious and it may not hit them until hours later, but it should hit them and hopefully it will begin to tone down.

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A.A.

answers from Punta Gorda on

Hi there,

With my first pregnancy I noticed this a lot too. By my second pregnancy, I didn't care! But what was funny was this - one person would say "you've gained so much" and then the next would say "you hardly look pregnant".

Just remember that it's all in the eye of the beholder - and you can't control what other people think. It's really out of your hands, and inconsiderate of others to exclaim "so big" or "hardly pregnant".

I also had people saying how high I was carrying because I'm tall with a short torso. Everyone thought my babies were boys by the carry, but both are girls. I just kept growing thicker and thicker skin, so to speak!

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R.M.

answers from Tampa on

M.! Pregnancy is the one time in woman's life that she should absolutely be free of body image issues. You're growing a baby! You're going to look different - gain weight, swell in areas you never thought could etc. You've got to get over this and focus on all of the amazing things your body is doing not the fact that you look "big" - you should look big, you have likely a 5 lb baby growing in you right now! Eat healthy and with your growing baby's development in mind and forget about the comments. You're 7 months pregnant and a tiny woman to begin with - you're going to look big/different. It's okay. It really is.
My reply to the comments when I would get them was a simple, sarcastic, "thanks." And then forget about it, because just as many people will tell you, you look beautiful, and I'm sure you do.

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D.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

Why not send a mass e-mail to your friends explaining that the hormones are getting real bad and you find yourself breaking down over the silliest comments, especially those regarding weight and looks. Explain how you know its your hormones, but any help they could give in supporting you by NOT making any comments about your appearance would help. I bet you start hearing about how great and happy you look. If they are really your friends and they've all been pregnant they will get it immediately.

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L.C.

answers from Boca Raton on

Hey,
My friend gets really big when she is pregnant and everyone was telling her the same thing. And, I, also said that she looked big. I didn't mean to be mean or offend her, of course, I just didn't realize that it could be really annoying for your friend to tell you you look really big. So she said to me, "Everyone keeps saying that and its really getting annoying"! I totally got the gist and stopped saying it to her. I wasn't offended at all, in fact I felt really bad for being so insensitive and stupid.. because I had just been pregnant and new exactly how annoying it was for people to comment on how "big" I was. I only gained 9 lb. during my pregnancy.. so try not to let it get to you because there only saying that because there not used to seeing you with such a big belly.

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T.B.

answers from Chicago on

I tend to carry all my baby weight in my belly, and so I have a huge belly and tend to look further along than I am, especially now, while I'm pregnant with #2.
Anyhow, I've gotten asked several times if I'm having twins, which is just so rude, it's surprising people have the nerve to say that! I had decided that the next time I got asked, I would say, "Nope, just ONE HEALTHY baby!" and put on a smile. The one friend of my MIL's that I really cannot stand happened to ask me the other day, so I delivered the line, then left. In my opinion, if you are rude enough to comment, you deserve a bit of a snarky comment. ;)

Happy, healthy pregnancy to you!
T.

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M.F.

answers from Sarasota on

I gained fifty pounds with both my kids, and my doctor never blinked an eye. While I am taller than you, it was still a lot of weight - but the point is that was the healthy weight gain for me when pregnant. Fortunately I worked with a bunch of women who only focused on me being healthy, not on how much weight I gained or what it looked like on me. You are well within the healthy range - and definately don't need to diet! If you did, your doctor would tell you. I'm sorry people have been so insensitve. When you are carrying a miracle you still feel self-concious (and with the second child, more exhausted than ever). Try to ignore the poor people who lack enough knowledge and sensitivity to encourage you to continue doing all the right things to bring your beautiful and healthy baby into the world. Enjoy the last few months - when someone fails to recognize how dangerous it can be to talk to a pregnant woman in such a way just think about how little that person must truly know and how sad it is. And perhaps tell them how delighted you are to be gaining at a healthy pace and how your doctor tells you that you are measuring perfectly - that might help them get the point without raising your blood pressure. : )

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M.A.

answers from Fort Myers on

I didn't read all the other responses but my feeling is that when you're pregnant "big" does not equal "fat". Just because they are saying you're big doesn't mean they think you are fat. And big babies are healthy babies, so it's actually a compliment. Maybe they mean "Hey look what a great mama you are growing that baby so well!" I wouldn't dwell on it. Just try to put a positive spin on it. As long as your doctor says everyone is healthy don't take it so personally. I gained 40 and 50 pounds with my kids (that is too much for my 5'0" frame) but I didn't get offended if people said anything because I knew I was supposed to be gaining weight. Plus if people don't see you very often it can be quite a difference.

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L.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi, M.,

I'm your height, and I gained much more (35 pounds total) than you have in my first pregnancy to go to term. I think that partly because I was on prednisone, partly because I wasn't allowed to exercise for the first half of my pregnancy, and partly because I ate more unhealthy food than I should have, I really puffed out.

You might calmly ask these individuals who tell you that you look big or ask you if you are carrying twins, "Are you saying that I look fat?" I think that the direct approach is appropriate in this case. Then you will know whether you have misinterpreted what they said or they are impolite people.

I like to give people, esp. friends, the benefit of the doubt, but some people do prove to be rude. I had a former co-worker friend who used to say things that most people would consider offensive. I finally quit giving her the benefit of the doubt when she said to me while I was changing my toddler sons that my sons' genitals were ugly!

Best wishes,
Lynne

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

I was a bit chunky to start with, but didn't have a bit of NET weight gain. I lost 20 pounds in the first trimester from all the barfing...and slowly gained that back throughout the last part of my pregnancy. I was 1/2 pound heavier on the day I went into labor than the day I took the pregnancy test. Within days of giving birth, I had lost most of that twenty pounds.

That being said...I had an ENORMOUS stomach...I'm only an inch taller than you. Lots of amniotic fluid...my daughter was born at 37.5 weeks and was 6lbs. 7oz.

There were many people (mostly people who knew me) who were asking all the time. For the most part, I don't think anyone was being mean. At least not intentionally. Keep in mind that sometimes people are surprised when they haven't seen you in a while.

If you were a normal weight when you got pregnant, you are right on track. If you were overweight, then you should just do what you can to avoid too much sugar or other simple carbs and beef up on lean protein...will help stave off preeclampsia. Dieting is not healthy in pregnancy, a healthy lifestyle is.

If they are friends, let them know that you're feeling sensitive about it right now and ask them to lay off. If it is someone more casual say, "Really? My doctor says I'm right where I should be." You could also consider that they wished they looked as good as you do when they were pregnant.

You're having a baby! Focus on all the love and happiness.

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T.F.

answers from Miami on

I feel your pain. I'm only 5' and with both of my pregnancies I gained about 60 pounds and it had no place to go, just like you said. I used to get very upset,too, because I got the same type of comments - absolute strangers even came up to me saying I must be having twins and when I would say no they would actually say that my doctor must be wrong! I hated it! I, unfortunately never came up with a good response, I just started steering clear to avoid the comments and when out I just didn't answer anyone who asked. I never really had mom friends comment about it and I'm quite shocked yours do - they should be more sensitive - perhaps you can tell your closest mom friend how it makes you feel and ask her to pass the word then you don't have to have the "I'm short so it has no where else to go..." discussion with everyone! Stay strong and don't let it get to you. Best wishes!

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L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

Girl, it does not sound like they are saying you HUGE as in FAT , but just huge in your belly. I have seen this girl the other day who was small built but belly looked like she was carring triplets(it was just one big boy:)) People just can't help it sometimes. I looked like I was 6-7 months preg with my first when I delivered and he was overdue and 8.14lb. Some people just carry "in" and some carry "out". Do not let it get to you.

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H.D.

answers from San Francisco on

CHHHAAA I KNOWWWW! I am having an elephant man!
I am getting fat? Hm, I thought I was pregnant. /shrug
SHHH don't tell my husband! I am having triplets and I don't want him to KNOW!
=)

Gotta tell ya, I am pretty sure if my husband saw you I would have to jab him in the ribs from staring...he thinks pregnant women are the sexiest thing alive! =) Hug on your tummy, stick your tongue out at the rude people that call you fat and happy pushing! *HUG*

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L.M.

answers from Boca Raton on

I am sure you look perfect, I am 5'4 and 26wks pregnant i have gained about 14 lbs so far and yes my belly feels bigger this time but I am still all belly. Just ignore the ignorance from these women they should know better, this is also my second child and you always get or feel bigger the second time around. I gained about 28 with my first who knows how this one is going to end up but who cares as long as u are healthy. Congratulations, take care of yourself and no worries they are probably just jealous or they forgot what it feels like to be pregnant. Besides you will outshine all of them soon enough when you deliver and return to your normal figure!!LisaM

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J.D.

answers from Lakeland on

You get bigger faster the second time around b/c all of your muscles are already stretched out - I am about your size and I gained 35+ pounds with each of my children and all in the belly. I also lost all the weight both times (breastfeeding takes it right off) and I have no stretch marks. So smile and tell them that you and the baby are both healthy eaters and fortunately, after pregnancy the weight will just fall off!! Maybe they are jealous that for the next year you can be "fat" and happy - just as pregnant moms should be!!!

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K.D.

answers from Milwaukee on

Flip out on all of them. Mom's of all people should know how it feels to be pregnant. I could understand if these comments were coming from a woman who didn't have kids, but to say those things when they themselves have children is just plain mean and rude. They definietly need a clue so they don't go around hurting more pregnant woman. Think of it as if you are providing a service to all pregnant women. The less people out there who comment on another pregnant womans belly, the better. So sorry to hear this is happening to you.

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P.G.

answers from Modesto on

Stand your ground, sister!! You make sure you make your voice and feelings be known. Yes, it may be your hormones acting out of whack, but this is your body, dont' let ANYONE make you feel bad about being big .. this is a precious baby growing inside you.
This is what I do when someone offends me, laughing or not-
I look at them seriously, and let them know that my baby is going to be beautiful, my baby is getting bigger by the day, my baby loves to eat and I will continue to grow and be huger.. if you dont' like to be around me when I am eating and getting bigger- DON't COME around me!!! Simple, sometimes you have to be mean!!!
I am not saying go aroudn and be mean to people, but if these are true friends they would not be making you feel this way. It's time to just let your voice be heard.. what if that was your child one day and someone said or treated them harsh in school??? Would you not want them to stand up for themselves!??!?!?

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R.C.

answers from Miami on

Maybe make a comment about their weight! I'm also 5'3 and I had the same problem. You could turn it around and ask them how far along they are! Or just be adult about it and say, "it really makes me feel hurt when you make remarks about my weight. My doctor says I am fine, so maybe you could stop talking about my weight". Good luck and enjoy your body!

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L.C.

answers from Tampa on

I haven't read the other responses. But there could be several things- not seeing you- don't know for sure.

1- they say you get bigger quicker with the 2nd baby. I personally don't know & don't want to find out.- because your muscles have already been stretched from the first baby- you expand quicker- so they say.

2. could it be your tops? I remember wearing this cute red- tatted top I got from a friend. I went shopping & the cahsier commented I looked like I was ready to drop the kid any minute.

3. Yes your height of 5' 3"- could be the issue- you can tell them "I'm not as big as I look & that I have only gaind 16#"- I gained 50# with mine. She is now 3 yr & I still haven't lost it.- But then again I sabatoged myself before the glucose tolearnce test- gained 10# in 1 month on a free for all. :)

Another option- tell them to shut the %^%* up & punch them in the face. (at least if some one said something like that to me about my wt- that is what I would do) sorry I am PMSing & VERY irritable right now.

IF you are one to lose all the wt afterwards- that will be the best revenge.

Congratulations on your 2nd pregnancy.

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L.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am 32 weeks along with my 2nd baby and I get a lot of rude comments too. What surprises me the most is that it is usually women who say hurtful things. It sounds to me like you are gaining weight very normally. I have already gained about 30 lbs and still have 7 weeks to go. I gained 50lbs with my first child and was able to lose almost all the weight, even though it takes a while. I'm 5'3" too and this baby it growing straight out, so a lot of people say things like "Your not due until May?!?" Which makes me feel really huge! I have really been trying to ignore these comments. My doctor told me to tell them that this is my 2nd baby and you grow faster with your 2nd. Which is very true! Good luck with everything, and just remember it is all worth the weight gain!

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S.S.

answers from Miami on

Sounds like a normal amount of weight for 7 months and why would you care what anyone thinks or says????? The stress hormones you are bathing your baby in have lifelong effects on their development. Go to a prenatal yoga/pilates and learn relaxation so good hormones can get to the baby most of the time. Who cares what comments ppl make. If you know you are doing the best then that is between you and your dr. 5'3 women have nowhere to stretch out!!!

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H.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I would just look at them and say "Really? You are going to comment on a pregnant women's weight gain? *Really???*"

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D.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Tell them they're rude. You have the pregnancy as an excuse to speak your mind if you never felt comfortable before. :)
I am pregnant with my 4th,my husband and I are in our mid 20's and my kids are 5, 3 and 1 and I ALWAYS hear stupid comments like, "Don't you know how that happens", "Get a hobby" and "Are you finally done after this?"
I've never needed an excuse to speak my mind to rude people, but you know....
I go the gym 3-4 times a week, do intense cardio and still weight train and I get dumb comments from people about NOT looking pregnant. You can't win! People are always going to butt into your business when you're pregnant, who knows why people think it's OK.

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S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

i worked at the courthouse and the judge i was working for occasionally saw me for the first time in about a month and said "wow, your big!" and i (of course) got offended and said "Wow, that's rude". Of course, it's not the nicest thing to say, but really pregnant or not, a person doesn't want to here how big they are.

T.D.

answers from Fayetteville on

I really do think that when it comes to pregnancy, the USA has a lot to learn. Pregnancy is the healthiest, most natural, and normal, not the mention the most beautiful thing to happen to a woman. It's a shame that people suddenly lose their manners and word vomit at pregnant women about weight, the baby's sex, the baby's name, etc. Pregnant moms really have a lot to prepare for, and it can be a stressful time.
My suggestion is that you tell your friends, or people in general that you would like for them to give only positive comments, stories, suggestions, etc, and that your baby is healthy because of how well you're caring for yourself and your baby.

I hope this helps. Keep up the good work, I'm sure you look beautiful, and congratulations! :)

-T. Dellabalma, HBCE

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

Totally flip out on them, or just tell them how hurtful their comments are. Ask, "Are you serious? I've only gained 16 pounds." I bet they are just jealous. I sure am. I am at 7 months and have already gained 40 lbs!!! I gained 50 with my last, and am only 5'2, so I know how badly that distributes. As long as you are eating healthy, don't diet or restrict yourself. They actually recommend that the average woman gain 25-35 pounds for a pregnancy, so ignore them and do what is right for you and the baby. I have had some really rude comments this time around, and I started 15 pounds lighter than I did last time. Yes, I have cried and been hurt, but it has mainly been strangers, I have now decided that I won't take it from ANYONE. :) Good luck!

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H.H.

answers from Hartford on

i had the same exact thing happen to me boy was I big. for some reason it did not really bother me and I often joked about it too. even though at times it was annoying. if it bothers you and they are your friends then you should just tell them and if they are real friends they will drop it and if they dont maybe you want to drop them. you should not diet when you are preggo, please dont do that and talk to your dr. you cant help what you gain if you are not making bad eating choices then you are gaining what your baby needs and should not "mess" w/ that. just focus on your self and your baby and how wonderful they are growing. It is not great to be huge when you are preggo for many reasons, (uncomfortable, worried, lots to loose after) but if you are healthy and your baby is too that is all that matters.

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A.K.

answers from San Francisco on

First of all, 16 pounds at 7 months is not bad at all! You had gained 30 pounds last time (totally normal) and it doesn't sound like you even have time to gain that much now. Despite watching what I ate I gained almost 40, so at 7 months I think I had already gained at least 25-30, but most of it has come off and my baby is just 2 months old. I don't know if it helps, but this phase is temporary. I'm 5'1" with a short torso so I know how it feels to think the weight is not distributing "correctly" but honestly the "skinny with a bump" celebrity ideal is so wrong and distorted. The right distribution is whatever we're born with and I'm sure you look beautiful!
I had the "twins" comment too when I was pregnant, and I realized that the people who were making such comments to me had either never been through it before (friends without kids) or insensitive/malicious (my husband's crazy aunt). The crazy aunt also kept trying to scare me about how her daughter-in-law didn't lose any of her pregnancy weight and I realized this was just because SHE had problems, not me. I know it hurts, but anytime people do this, think about what it says about them, not you. I'm not too great with comebacks, but I would think the best way to go is to say in a light or joking way back that it's not entirely in your control, or even better, something like "I thought weight gain is a good sign in pregnancy? I'm glad my baby is going to be healthy!"

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L.B.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

I gained well over 50 pounds with both of my children and actually gained over 60 pounds with my last pregnancy. I got the "you're huge" comments regularly. I typically respond with something to the effect of "Yeah I know, wanna trade?" or "Yeah wait till it's your turn/how big did you get" or some other witty mostly sarcastic comment acknowledging that I realize I'm not the smallest pregnant woman ever but also letting them know I don't need to hear about it every other day without actually telling them off.
You will shrink back down! Hang in there! Only a couple more months until your beautiful baby is in your arms. Good luck!

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J.F.

answers from Denver on

Sounds like to me you are short and just small like me... I think why we seem so much bigger when prego is where can the baby go??? I mean when you are tall baby just has more room.
I got the you are huge comments as well, but I was all baby and all in my tummy! I was like a cone head on my tummy!!! It was scary... I thought how in the heck can my tummy ever go down :) but of course it does.
I kinda took it as a compliment to be honest. I mean instead of me gaining all over I was just belly and to me that showed it was all baby growing and not me. For sure don't diet or change up what you are doing! I mean 17lbs at 7 months is great! I gained 25 and 28 with my pregnancies and it was all off by 5 months! Just ignore it if you can.... if you know you are eating well and your docs are happy, then just consider then jealous you only gain baby and not in the butt.... :)

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A.L.

answers from Boca Raton on

I'm experiencing the same thing!! I wonder how women who have children and have been pregnant can be so thoughtless. I just tell them in a joking but not joking kind of way that they should know better than to make those comments. And that "I've been very emotional and would kindly appreciate positive feedback only". Or I've even gone the surprised approach and just go silent and say "Really? I'm working out and watching what I eat..." Either way I've decided not to take it personally. You can't control what comes out of peoples mouths but you can control what you do with it. Laughing it off seems to be the best for me.

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A.G.

answers from Mayaguez on

Congratulations you on your pregnancy. It IS a lovely time, most of it is. Now I'll simply remind you that your weight, height, and whatever people think about those ARE NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS. ;-) When someone makes a comment about your weight, smile and say something like "Isn't that how pregnant women are supposed to be?" Or "And all this time I thought this was normal."
You are eating well which is the right thing to do. Don't let anybody's comments upset you. Maybe they don't know any better.

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Your body gains what it needs to gain to maintain your pregnancy and keep your baby healthy.

My first pregnancy (twins) I gianed 80 pounds, I wasn't eating like I should.

My second pregnancy (twins again) I gained 38 pounds. I ate better. My body gained what it needed to.

I'm only 5 foot 1. I don't know what it is about pregnant women that makes others think they have the right to be rude. Say that. I'll bet they wont say anything else to you again.

God bless.

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T.L.

answers from Tallahassee on

i obviously don't know the whole story but based on your post, you have NOTHING to worry about! i am 5'2". i gained 27 pounds with my first pregnancy. i am currently 19 weeks pregnant now with #2 and have gained 13 pounds. people our height, of course i don't know your build, should gain about 25-35 pounds in their pregnancy. we will carry it differently, but ONLY gaining 16 pounds and being 7 months is AMAZING! remember, you are growing a human being, that you want to be healthy. i would just remove myself from those people if i were you. i don't need negativity around me especially when pregnant. even if you have gained 50 pounds, it is still not there place to say anything!! but you have not, i think you are on the lighter end of weight gain so far. remember, your happiness can be felt by your baby so you just don't need this. as long as your midwife has told you you on track and living healthy, don't worry about it!

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