How to Keep 2-Year-old Busy While Nursing the Baby

Updated on November 04, 2008
A.D. asks from Albany, OR
22 answers

My oldest boy just turned 2 on Halloween, and I also have a 1-month-old son. I have low milk supply and have to be very diligent in nursing, making sure each breast is emptied, that I get enough stimulation to keep what supply I have up, making sure baby doesn't keep falling asleep at the breast, etc. The thing is, my 2-year-old is making me crazy when I sit down to nurse the baby! He wants to climb all over us, point out the baby's eyes (ie, practically poke them out!), ears, hair, etc. It's very distracting to me, and I don't feel like I get good nursing sessions in when he's around. Any advice? And what is a reasonable amount of time to expect a 2-year-old to play on his own?

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S.T.

answers from Portland on

One trick I used was to use the football hold while feeding my baby. That allowed my 20mo old to "hold" the baby and help me feed her. That made him feel important and not left out.

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K.R.

answers from Seattle on

My kids are 27 months apart. When my baby was brand new, I used to block off areas of the house I didn't want my son to go into and then let him roam free. I also put out a tray of non-messy foods (crackers, apples, cheese, water) on my coffee table so he could help himself to food. We are not big TV watchers, but I did pop in a DVD when I was spending a lot of time breastfeeding.

Good luck

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T.J.

answers from Seattle on

Nursing is a good time to bring out the "special" treats that the older sibling doesn't always get to enjoy. This could be tv, certain books, little toys that are too small for baby. My two year old was a little older and it was easy to explain to her that nursing time was baby's special time, and that she would get her special time when baby fell asleep. Good luck!

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C.M.

answers from Eugene on

I have a shelf full of toys in the hall closet that my daughter can only play with during certain times, such as when I need to make dinner or talk to a client on the phone. They are some of her favorite toys and most are not age appropriate for her younger brother. It works great! She is so happy to play with this special toy that she will often play quietly by herself for over an hour. This may be a great way to distract your son too. Congratulations on your new baby and good luck.

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

Being stressed out while nursing will make your supply even lower, so you need to do all you can to relax and enjoy the experience. I know, easier said than done with a toddler. Here are some tools I used.
-Turn on the TV to a favorite show, and release your guilt about letting him watch TV (if he cares enough to watch)
-Buy a bunch of inexpensive toys or books and wrap them up individually. Each time you sit down to nurse, allow him to get one and open it up. When you are done nursing, the toy goes into a "nursing" basket that only comes down when you nurse. The new toys or books should be exciting enough to entertain him.
-have a supply of small treats (fruit snacks, Yogos, Cocoa Puff cereal, etc). Have your son show you "tricks" and treat him with one at a time. He can sing a song, do a dance, run fast, etc.
-each time you nurse, have a sippy cup available for him.
-proir to nursing, give your son 5 minutes or so of your UNDIVIDED attention. Be sure to let your son hear you telling your baby (even when baby is perfectly happy) "I A. sorry baby, but it is big brother's turn to have Mommy, you will need to wait your turn". Say it to baby many times a day. It sounds dumb, but it makes it easier for your older son to wait his turn when he feels like it is fair because baby has to wait his turn sometimes too.

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L.G.

answers from Seattle on

Studies have shown that people can usually sit still for their age plus two minutes, up to eighteen-year-olds. Everyone, including adults, usually starts figeting after 20 minutes. I know you are talking about playtime, though. Young toddlers really do keep on the move. They may spend up to 5 min. per activity, on average. (This is my field of study, as well as my profession, and I A. also a Mama.) :) I have seen toddlers this age spend up to 20 min. on an activity that they REALLY enjoy. For this age group, it tends to be sensory activities. This can be tough to monitor while you are trying to nurse a baby, because sensory activities can be loud and/or messy. When my youngest daughter was born, I already had a daughter who had just turned two, and I was also watching another newborn. I recall one day when I was nursing my youngest while bottle-feeding the little one I took care of and my two-year-old came up and asked me to read her a book! YIKES! I told her that my hands were both busy, so she would have to turn the pages, so she did. I loved my babies dearly, but there are times I A. relieved that they are now 13 and 15! :) I don't know if any of this is really helpful or not, but I can testify that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Sorry it is so tough right now, though. Love them while you can, mine are too big to fit on my lap these days. :*( Blessings to you and yours!

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E.T.

answers from Portland on

I could never do it well, but have you tried nursing while walking? Get a good sling, like the Dr. Sear's one and maybe that would help? Just an idea. Good luck and way to go on nursing! Keep up the ever so important health benefit!

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D.A.

answers from Portland on

Your son is old enough to turn pages in a book, so have a few books set up next to you on a couch and read to your son while he turns the pages and you nurse your baby. This way you are spending some nice quiet time with your son and giving him some attention that is very necessary during this time. He is used to being and only child and his life with you has changed. It is often hard to find more time for the older child while in the early stages of infanthood.

Good luck,
D.

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J.G.

answers from Anchorage on

I learned to find a way to nurse my baby and read a book to my 2 year old at the same time (I had them turn the pages for me)! Keep special activities available that you would only have him do while you are nursing - will he sit still and watch a video if the books don't hold his interest for that long?

In the afternoon - are there some neighborhood girls that could come over to play with your son for a bit while you concentrate on the baby? Girls age 9 and up LOVE kids your son's age and may just come over for FREE for the opportunity to play with your son for a bit. If there are enough girls that age around they could take turns.

Also see if you can tweak the babies schedule just a bit - like feed the baby just a bit earlier or just a bit later to accommodate when the toddler is busy with something else. Eating his own lunch or breakfast for example, taking a nap (if he still takes them), playing with toys etc. Think of a different activity for each time you need to nurse the baby - so that one or the other doesn't get "old" that quick. for example: books one time, video the next, coloring another (big plain paper and let him scribble away!), interesting toys another and rotate them out.

also be sure that when the baby is taking his/her naps that you spend some good one on one time with the toddler so that he is not starving for attention.

Not always easy.. I know... I had 5 and 3 of them were 2 years apart also.

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

A.,

That would be the perfect time to read books to your older son. He can sit next to you and either point out the pictures or turn the pages while you read to him. My other though is have your hubby distract him while you nurse the baby.

At two years old my son could not sit still for more than maybe 5 minutes. He's now five and still can't sit still.

Melissa

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K.K.

answers from Seattle on

Have you tried sitting on a couch (rather than chair) and setting him next to you, very close - with his own set of toys and books? This worked great for us! We ALL got to snuggle, and mom and baby got their nursing done.

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A.L.

answers from Spokane on

I was in the same position 6months ago. I have a 7month old son and a 2 1/2 year old daughter. When it was time to nurse she wanted to play "baby" and climb all over me. I finally had to get out tons of books and toys for her and put on her favorite cartoon. Letting her watch 30 min of educational cartoons every three hours was well worth the satisfaction, knowing that the baby was eatting and my milk was ok. Now that we are settled and she is used to this new person nursing is no problem. Are you giving your oldest alone time with you when you lil one is napping? It's all about time and adjustment, it will happen for you. Don't stress it only makes the milk situation worse. Good luck.
A.

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

Get your 2 yr old a hand held game toy (leapster, leap frog) that he gets to sit and play with while you nurse his brother. This is quiet time for the 3 of you. Or get him books to read during this time. Some activity that is special to this time only, something he wants to do. Then after you nurse the baby, it's time for him. Play a game, read a book with him... but it's his time, not shared time. Yes this will mean you are busier but a 2 yr old needs his Mom and you can't negotiated or reason successfully all the time with a toddler. It will ease any resentment he has for the baby as well. In the afternoon, evening when Dad is home, Dad can spend the time with him while you're nursing. Bathtime can happen then. Time for a 2 yr old to entertain themselves... 10 to 20 minutes in snatches. They're looking for approval and interaction. That's why the leapster game, it's meant for toddlers and above and much similar in size to a gameboy. Educational games that get and keep their interest, little movie features. You could also get some dvds and plug them in for him to watch while you nurse and you watch together. This is one activity you can multitask while you're nursing.

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

Maybe you could have a basket of 'nursing stuff' that you only get out when it's time to nurse...when you're done nursing, the basket gets put away. Put anything of interest to your child in it...different books, games, perhaps a new toy. Soon, he'll be begging you to nurse the baby. When mine were little, I had a 'phone basket' which only came out when I was on the phone and there were times when I heard "Momma, can't you think of anyone you can call?" Sometimes I put in little snacks or notes with 'jobs' on them or special 'coupons' to watch a show or a video. Once the ideas start coming to you, you won't be able to stop filling the basket, in which case, you can get a second basket ready for when the first one gets old and less of a novelty. Good luck!

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R.S.

answers from Seattle on

How about a movie or a show that he likes to watch. Or coloring. Things like that. I A. sorry I dont have any better ideas.
My son is 2 also and I know how they dont like to sit for very long.

Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi! As much as I don't like putting my kids in front of TV, I do have to say that it works most of the time. I cook everyday, 3 meals. So, it's gets very hard when my girls want me to play with them so I turn on the TV for them. Now, they know that they only get to watch TV when I'm cooking, that's it! So far, it's working well. The other thing you might want to try is maybe games. Do like a treasure hunt or something. Tell him to go find the ball or his blue car and bring to you. Then, bring it back(cause you don't want to deal with cleaning up later!) And so on. I hope this helps. Good luck!

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D.G.

answers from Anchorage on

you have gotten some fabulous advice..some i thougth to give, so i won't repeat it! i have found with my 9 month old that she gets distracted unless we nurse in a chair in their room and the 3 yr old stays in the living room. thankfully he has always been good about playing by himself. One thing he LOVES is Moon Sand, found at walmart for about 5$ then add a couple construction toys for about 6$ each and he spends hours playing in that. or if you prefer..playdough. Sometimes my son would want to help feed the baby...he'd help hold my breast to the baby's mouth.. that was before she would get distracted! =-) and when he did that he was standing on a stool beside me. I have also found that humming or singing hymns, or relaxing songs helps my milk to drop easier. Good luck! aren't kiddos fun!?!

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C.F.

answers from Portland on

I have the exact same issue. You might try looking into a couple of Toddler activity books for ideas. I have one called "The Toddler Busy Book". (I think that is what it is called.) With my little guy, it is really an issue because of jealousy. He really just wants to be snuggled and loved too. Sometimes, I just try and give him a lot of one-on-one before I sit down to nurse. Other times, I just try to get him really interested in an activity or book or puzzle or some toy before nursing. He's got a ridiculously long attention-span for a toddler, though. So, I A. not sure how this works in general. Good luck. My boys are 21 months apart, one in 2006 and one in 2008, too!

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

My boys were 2 1/2 years apart, but what I did was to make nursing time also into cuddle time and reading time with my older son. I would tell him that it was time for him to pick out his favorite book, and would sit on my bed to nurse the little one so that there was plenty of room for big brother as well. As it happened, he was going through a big dinosaur stage at that time, so we got him a big boy dinosaur dictionary, and he would sit and carefully turn the pages while I helped him learn to pronounce all of the very long names and of course, I oohed and ahhed at what a big boy he was and how smart he was to know them all so well. He was an expert before long. One time in a store, he corrected the clerk about the identity of a specific dinosaur, and the lady just looked down in disbelief at this 3 year old telling her, "No, that's a pachysephalosaurus. You can tell the difference because..."

Other times, I would nurse while he was having a snack or meal, so that he clearly understood that nursing was the baby's way of eating, not just getting extra snuggles with mom.

One more thing that I found helpful while little brother was a baby was to regularly get out the photo albums so that my older son could look through the pictures of himself as a baby. I would do this while I was nursing as well, so that I could tell him all about how he was as a baby, tell him funny stories, and reassure him that he got just as much attention as a baby as the new one. Then, I could say things like, "here's when you learned to crawl! Your little brother is going to be so lucky to have you to teach him how to do that!" Sure enough, big brother taught the little one to crawl... I would also make sure to say things to the baby when he was fussing like, "Hold on a minute, I'm helping your big brother" Clearly, the baby didn't understand, but this was for the benefit of the older one, so that he realized the baby was having to wait while I helped him with something, and it didn't just go the other way around.

When all else fails, cartoons & a treat/snack never killed anyone! You do need some peaceful times with your little one as well. You owe it to both of your kids to ensure that they develop as good a relationship with each other as possible and both feel equally loved by you.

I think the key is reinforcing all of the big boy things that you love about your older one, making a really big deal about them, and encouraging him to exhibit those skills that baby brother doesn't have yet.

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C.S.

answers from Medford on

Hi, I have a similar situation, early 30's, work from home, and my 2 little boys are almost 15 months apart (born 2006 and 2007). My older son really likes to play with my hair so he would stand next to me and play with my hair while I nursed the baby. Or sometimes I would put on a movie for him to watch and get him all set up with milk, a blanket, stuffed animal or whatever he wants. Or I would sit on a bed or couch and he would sit on the opposite side I was nursing on. If you aren't relaxed when you are trying to feed the baby it might be harder for your milk to let down, and I know it is hard to relax with a 2 year old jumping around! Good luck, it will get easier.

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D.F.

answers from Spokane on

When my kids where that age, I filled a tote bag full of books, a couple toys, a snack, a sippy cup, anything that would keep my daughters attention while I nursed my son. I'd switch it up regularly to keep her interest. I kept it right by the couch where I did most of my nursing. She could only look in it while I was nursing. Durring other feedings, I'd put in a 30 minuit video, like veggie tales or something like that so it wasn't too long. PBS kids would be another good alternative. That way my toddler wasn't watching all day, but would get a chance to watch while I was nursing. I'd also have her in her room for some "focus time" where she had to play on her own for a while. I'd also pick three things for her to focus on and play some soft music. (A toy, a book, a stuffed animal.) It was good for her to be able to play alone independantly. I'd put her in her room in her pack-n-play with those things and she sometimes would end up taking her nap there as well. I hope these ideas help a little. I know how precious your time is with both of your little ones and how important uninterupted feedings are! Good luck!

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N.H.

answers from Bellingham on

Hi,
I just thought I would add a couple of "alone" activities that worked well for us.
I would take my big turkey roaster and fill it with different stuff for my daughter to play with. When she got tired of what was in it, I would change it out. I filled it with: *colored rice with measuring cups, funnels, ect., *those little pom-pom balls of different sizes, *during the winter you can get fake snow from Michael's that stays fluffy for a long time, *dried food also worked well (peas, beans, etc).
Stickers were also a life saver for us. She would play with them for hours as long as I didn't give them to her too often.
She also loved to play in the sink. I would give her a few "dishes" to wash. She usually got water everywhere, but it helped keep my kitchen floor clean :), and it was just water.
Hope you find something that works for you. ~N.

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