How to Get Rid of a Binkie

Updated on September 05, 2010
J.M. asks from Harrisburg, PA
14 answers

ok so i have a son who will be 2 at the end of october, he loves his binkie. his dentist says he needs to be rid of ot by 3 years old, friends and family say now. i don't even know where to start to wean him. he uses it when he sleeps. i try to keep it in his crib sometimes he sneaks itout though. how do i get rid of it and still get a good nites sleep because i know if i get him to sleep without it he will wake in the nite and look for it. any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

ok so i ahve decided i would like get ridof the binkie when he turns 2 which is a little over a month away. so i have been talking to him about how babies have binkies and he is a big boy and soon the binkie will have to go bye bye because he is a big boy. so i am trying to prepare him i guess. the hard part will be in the middle of thenight when he wakes up and dosn't have a binkie.

More Answers

L.M.

answers from Dover on

My son was very attached to his too but was completely weaned by 14 months. The trick I found was to let him go to sleep w/ it and before I went to bed I would take it out of his crib. As long as he woke up in the morning without it, he could go all day without until bed time. I gradually gave it too him later and later until he didn't need it at bedtime either.

My daughter liked her ok but not nearly as much (mostly just to fall asleep). She weaned herself by 8 months!

Our doctor suggested the earlier the better...I personally agree w/ your friends and family on this one.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

cold turkey or gradual, it's your choice. & you will have tears.....but it's up to you not to cave.

Either way, try to promote his self-soothing thru a fav blankie or stuffed animal. Find a new "best friend" for him......& what really helps is if you let him help you in this process. Let him take ownership of this & it will go smoother.

Start talking to him about how babies use binkies & he's your big boy. Point out babies & their binkies, & then point out the big boys/girls. If he drops it in public, then talk about how dirty it is & have him help you throw it away. & when you're in stores, those new binkies are for new babies!

Another option is to cut a little bit of it off each day. Make very sure that it does not create a safety hazard & is still firmly attached to the base. I have had many parents do this (in my daycare).....it works, but still makes the kids mad! I've also had kids still suck on just the shield, holding it up to their face! How insane!

With either option, the whole key is for you to stand firm. With my daycare, once children are crawling around....that's it! Binkie is only for naptime, in bed. & the babies know that I lay the pacifier down on the dresser when we leave the room. Right now, I have a 1 y.o. who hands it to me when I walk into the room! I love it.....he's adorable with it! Good Luck!

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Definitely the longer you wait, the harder it will be to get rid of it. When my son started asking for it by name just before he turned 2, I knew it was time for his binky to go. We got rid of his cold turkey. The first day was hard, it took 2 hours for him to fall asleep for his nap, but then he went right to sleep at bed. The next day was easier, he only cried for 30 minutes before he fell asleep for nap, and the day after that he only cried for 5. It usually takes 3-7 days to establish a new routine for kids. Ours took 3 days. The key is to NOT give in no matter how much they cry. We did lots of cuddles and kisses whenever he asked for his binky, but we told him that his binkies were "all gone". After 2 weeks, he didn't even ask for his binky anymore. Good luck!

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D.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I had a tried-and-true Binkie Kid myself and I was dreading getting rid of it with my youngest child. She gave up the bottle at 9 months to drink form a cup like her big sister but that binkie was staying! At 2 years old, I made the almighty move to get rid of it. Here's what I did that lended great success to me and also to my child. You need an entire week to start a De-Binkification process before you actually take it away. Start by telling your son that he's too old now and that the dentist said his big boy teeth are asking the Binkie to go away. Tell him that this is a proud and awesome moment and that a celebration is about to begin. Then, plan the big event. You are going to need all the support you can get...Dad, Grandparents, siblings, caregivers, daycare teachers...the works. You are throwing a Big Boy party. Let him help pick out a small cake and ask him what favorite toy he wants to get for his Big Boy party. Then get a small box or a bag that you will put the binkie in because the Binkie Fairy is going to come and take the binkie and give it to another baby boy who needs it soooooo badly and he is the hero that will be providing the binkie to this boy. Give the binkie a kiss, say goodbye, and put it into the bag or box. Leave it in a nice location that your son picks so that when he goes to sleep that night, the Binkie Fairy will come and take it away. Then, hasta la bye-bye, all binkies have to go. Rev him up by telling him that the next day, because he's such a big boy, he now gets a Big Boy party because he gave his binkie away to the babies so nicely. Now you have the cake, the fanfare from all the relatives and people that you know, and he gets his big gift. Console him and support him in moments of weakness if he has them and is waivering on giving up the binkie. There may be some rough night ahead but this has to be a "cold turkey" approach or it will not work. Trust me, he will learn to put himself to sleep without it. Offer a blanket, stuffed toy, anything, but not that binkie. He will move on and since he is young, it will be quick and over with real soon. DO NOT prolong this. The older the kids get, the WORSE this is to do. All the advance warning on giving up the binkie prepares him for the big day and the Binkie Fairy is an added attraction. The party and toy is a bonus and positive reward for giving up something that is a part of his life. The rest is just holding firm and offering support or "tough love" when it is needed. My daughter went through this whole process and was De-binked in a week. If you need extra support or have questions.....simply private message me here and I'll help you. Good luck and welcome to Project De-Binkification!

D.S.

answers from Allentown on

Hi, J.:

There is a book, "To Listen to a Child," by T. Berry Brazelton, M.D.
Has alot of parenting information.
Good luck. D.

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M.W.

answers from St. Cloud on

It's best to give him a day or two warning and then throw them ALL away. Have him help you gather them and toss them in the garbage. Go cold turkey! It will take a couple days but he will forget about it pretty quickly. There really is no way around a couple sleepless nights. But once it's gone, you'll be glad!

As for the post who said he will probably get rid of it on his own by 3, I disagree...... Most won't. My brother had a girlfriend whose little sister still had one at like 6! And I had daycare kids who (AT HOME!, my rule was 18 months at daycare) still had one till 4 and 5-all day long!.! Yet they did perfectly fine for 8 to 10 hours at daycare. But the parents thought that the kids still needed it........

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N.B.

answers from Toledo on

You can set a date (third birthday?) and then start talking about what a big boy he'll be and let him start marking the calendar off to build it up for him. Take him and buy something he wants and put it up high but in plain sight, then remind him that when the binky is gone, he can have his big-boy toy. (Only a week or so before the target date, or he may decide he doesn't want it anymore.) Have him put his binky under his pillow, and the only time he can have it is in bed. If he wants it any time during the day, say,"Sure, you can have it. Go lay down in your bed." Let him decide if he wants to or not. Cold turkey is the best way, but with plenty of notice so he knows it's coming. On the target day, have him throw them all in the trash, tell them all bye-bye, and watch the trashman take them away. Then, if he asks, say sadly, "I'm sorry , they're all gone. Let's go play with your new truck!" The more he participates, the less traumatic for him.

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M.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Our pediatric dentist said they like to be rid of binkie by age 3 but as long as they don't have it beyond 6 there is no long term damage to the teeth. My son was 3 when he gave up the binkie. He actually started chewing holes in them within 24 hrs of getting a new one so I had him throw them in the trash and told him we would get new ones at the store. When he asked about them, I told him they were out of them at the store and we'd have to wait to get a new one. This went on for about 3 days and then he stopped asking and that was the end of binkie. He did cry a little bit at first when he was trying to go to sleep without it but after he fell asleep he was fine. This also only went on for a few nights. If he gets really upset, he may still need it. Sometimes it's best to let them give you the sign that they are ready to give it up. Good luck!

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

We went through this process too and it may be difficult but worth it. It sounds like you are already half way there in the process because your son is accustomed to having it only when he sleeps. First thing is that you need to do is decide that you are ready for it to be gone, that way you will stick to it after you begin. You can start by telling him that the binkie will need to go away soon to babies and that he is becoming a "big boy". Let him have a few days to process this with reminders. Then start narrowing down the binkie times to only at night and not for naps. That way he can begin the self comfort process and if he doesn't get his nap he will be more tired for bed. My kids were the exception to the rule in that as soon as I mentioned the binkie was going, that it was for babies, mine handed theirs over and never looked back. I did wait until after the second birthday to start. I have heard of a great idea of taking the child to build a bear and having them put the binkie inside an animal that they can keep and snuggle with helps too. That way the binkie is still there, they just can't use it like they did before. I say the most important part of the struggle will be to make sure YOU are ready, if you are the one who will be handling the process. The last thing you want is to start the removal of the binkie and then "give in" because the second try will be that much harder. You both can do this and Good Luck

C.M.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

We always joke that our daughter was going to college with her binky.... Just after her third birthday she came home from dance class, and said "Mom, Miss. Tina (her dance teacher), wouldn't like to see this in my mouth, I'm going to put in the trash can"... I was so proud of her... (of course I had to get it and keep it!), that night she cried a little(maybe 20 min!) for it, we made a sticker chart, and when she had 10 stickers (10 days and nights), she got to go pick out a prize from the toy store.
I don't see any rush in getting rid of it, we never pushed it, we would always tell her she is getting to big for it, but never took it from her, to us that was the last "baby" thing she had left.
I hope everything goes easy for you all!!! Good Luck!

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P.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi,

When we were living in CT we had a lot of deer and baby deer come into our yard. Our daughter LOVED to watch them. When our daughter was 2 - 2 1/2 we knew it was time to give for her to give up her "paci". We told her that the baby deers sure could use some paci's. With her help, we put them on a ribbons and hung them on a small tree outside. She was OK with it until she had to go to bed. That was a rough night for her. She fell asleep in my arms that night. (The following nights were a lot easier). When she woke up the next morning she looked outside and all the paci's were gone. Whenever she asked for it, we had to remind her that the baby deer are so happy to have them now.

Funny side note: That night my husband and I went outside to collect them and as we were counting them, one was missing. We looked down and our dog grabbed one and took off with it! She had it in her mouth! We were laughing so hard and chasing her all over the yard (2 acres). We finally got it!

I hope this helps!!

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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

If your dentist says to have him weened by three, then why are your family and friends in a rush to ween him before he's even 2? Chances are, he's not going to want it anymore by the time he's three anyways, so I'd let him give it up on his own.

E.C.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter was 18 mo and I said no more. As I work in the childcare field and know how bad it is. We took all her bunnies and pit them in a bag except her fav. We went to build a bear and through all away except her fav. I let her pick her fav animal and had her put the paci inside and they stuffed it half way. We said Uh oo Elmo ate it everytime she asked. She whimpered one night and that was it.

Right now I am house/babysitting. Parents are gone for 3 nights/4 days. Daughter sleeps with 2 pacis every night and 18 mo boys. Last night was first night I was here. I didn't give them pacis at all. They asked I said you guys are a big girl and boy now. No more pacis. They haven't asked since. They went straight to bed. Usually they wake up in the night cause they can't find it for the parents. Not last night :) cold shoulder is best. One or two nights of fusses is better than jacked up teeth and bad spee h.

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B.B.

answers from San Diego on

We just went through this last month with our 2.5 year old. It was hard and it made sleep/naps really tough for a few weeks. But after day one she never brought up her paci again. She was obsessed too...literally had the thing in her mouth 24/7. We told her she had to mail it off to the babies that needed it. We talked about it for a few months and pulled out pics of babies in magazines that looked sad and could use a paci to make them happy. We also had her pick out a few toys that she really wanted that were "big girl toys". Once that box arrived from Amazon with her Big Girl Toys, that was the day she had to give up her pacis. She did it and never looked back. I will say it was way easier than I expected and I wish we would have done it sooner just to spare her the dental work in the future.

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