How to Get My Daughter to Gain Weight

Updated on April 18, 2010
D.T. asks from Sandy Hook, CT
18 answers

I know most people have the opposite problem. My daughter is 4 years old and has had feeding issues since birth. As a result,, she only eats tiny meals or snacks throughout the day. A few bites here and there. Because of health issues she really can't handle full size meals. She goes through times where she is in 3rd or 5th percentile for weight, other times when she is below the chart. She was 30 pounds in January and now is 27 pounds. She is now below the chart again, and before I take her back to the pediatrician, I wondered - does anyone have ideas about foods that are nutritious, yet high in calories? I cut out processed foods from my family's diet and i think that is why she is off the chart again. Also she is very picky and won't even eat her favorite foods sometimes if they look different in any way. My husband is on a diet to lose weight, so I have been making low calorie meals. We do not eat fast food if we can help it. She has been to a couple of specialists who have suggested pediasure. She doesn't like any of the flavors, we tried them all. Another suggestion was to mix butter/put butter on everything. She likes this, but I would think this would not be healthy for her in the long run. I would love to find foods she would enjoy, high calorie yet nutritious. I do realize that I must now make high calorie meals for her, low cal for me and hubby. She would eat chicken nuggets and french fries all day if allowed, and though she would undoubtedly gain weight I do not want to start a lifetime habit of poor food choices.
By the way, she is not behaving as if she has an illness. Thanks in advance for your help.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

If she wants chicken nuggets and french fries, my goodness let her have
them. I would let her eat what she really likes. How about milk shakes,
ice cream etc. Puddings. Pizza. Macaroni and cheese. I would not
worry right now about healthy eating habits; my concern would be getting
her to eat so she can get some weight on.

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R.S.

answers from New York on

Hi D.,

I can only imagine the frustration and helplessness that you may be feeling when your child doesn't eat enough and sometimes loses weight. My daughter is 1 1/2 years old (has a dairy allergy) and only weighs 19 lbs. It just breaks my heart that she is below the 0th percentile, however she is super active, naughty and very healthy otherwise. My advise is don't worry too much about the numbers (I know, sometimes as a mother you can't help it, right?)

Anyway, here are my suggestions for what you can do to help with your daughter's weight gain:
1. Do meet with a nutritionist who will suggest healthy foods that are loaded with healthy fats and calories.
2. Add an extra teaspoon of olive oil to her meals
3. Whole milk
4. Avocados/ Guacamole
5. Shredded coconut and honey to her breakfast oatmeal
6. Eggs
7. Milkshakes with icecream
8. Vegetable fries (not just french fries, but sweet potato fries are great, so are veggies like bell pepers, onions, baby corn dipped in batter and fried at home)
9. Cheese
10. Nuts, especially cashew nuts and raisins are excellent

The key is not to give her more food to eat, but make sure the meals she has is loaded with calories. Extra cheese in her eggs, avocado and cheese in her sandwiches, coconut, honey and bananas in her oatmeal, mayo in her salad, chocolate syrup in her milk etc.

Finally, ask her pediatrician if there are any supplements that she may need to eat to encourage weight gain (such as omega 3 etc).

Hope this helps. I wish you all the very best.

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L.F.

answers from New York on

I didn't read all the responses, just want to add my two cents:) Like butter, adding cheese is a great help with my child and I think most kids like it. We add parmagiana to red sauce, sometimes ricotta as well. We make a chicken casserole with brown rice, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, mayo and cheddar, mush soup. So lots of good stuff and tasty stuff! Alot of times my daughter won't eat normal stuff unless there is something to dip. Grill cheese dip in tomato sauce, anything into italian dressing, ketchup. Someone else said hummus-great idea. She loves guacamole...Do you all eat together. My daughter wants whatever the rest of us are eating.....
Also, probiotics can't hurt-better absorption/digestion. Good luck!!

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C.T.

answers from Atlanta on

All of the answers you got are good, but just a few to add.
I am 31 and 100lbs. I had health issues as a child and also cannot eat big meals. I have been trying to gain weight for ever. My doctor recommended lifting weights, and I do enjoy it but it has not helped to put the weight on. Obviously, this is not an option for a 4 year old. I would get her into a tumbling class or other sports activity. Just because she is small doesn't mean she isn't capable. Being skinny doesn't mean she can't be in shape and active.
I also have issues with the flavor of these types of drinks. If she doesn't like any single flavor try mixing two. Chocolate-Banana, Strawberry-Banana, etc... I also mix with milk and ice cream, in a shake. Don't tell her it's there. In fact, just give her a drink and don't even tell her it's Pedisure. Maybe she just doesn't like being given a "special" drink. Tell her you are having a smoothie too.
I prefer muscle milk. It is expensive but doesn't have that weird aftertaste some protein drinks have. They sell cases of it at Sams.
Probiotics, they have chewables.
Foods: Nuts, avocado, fish (baked), PB (try PB and honey on a waffle), eggs, pasta (olive oil, garlic, toss in some fresh parmesan), pine nuts, granola, oat meal, beans, and lots of cheese. Oh, and hummus... Love it, and so does my daugher. All good fats and good for you.
I am sure the docs have told you to load up on butter and things. I find that you can only cook with those things so much. Along those lines but not healthy are: salad dressings, gravy, mayo, sour cream, cottage cheese (ricotta)... all high in fat and calories.

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S.S.

answers from Utica on

Kids go through stages..Don't focus on it too much...Offer her what you eat,and do organic...Whatever you do don't make her eat it...I was force fed when I was small,and skinny...Now I am as big as a barn...My mother meant well,cause she was a nutritionist....I can't stand oatmeal or lima beans to this day...But everything else I eat every last bit.....Ps...Kids in America never starve,unless they really have no food....My daughter in law has the same problem with her daughter...She goe through lots of stuff she likes and then doesn't...Yoga baby yogurt,peas,beans,broccli...pasta...Good luck...She will eventually eat....

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A.W.

answers from Binghamton on

My son has CHARGE syndrome and has struggled with weight his whole life. He has been dependent on a feeding tube up until about a year ago. Talk to your doctor about benecalorie. You can but it online or you could get an Rx and get it through a pharmacy. It is a 2.5 ounce container of flavorless liquid that has 330 calories. You can add it to milk, pudding, applesauce, etc. It has helped a TON with my son's weight issues. Also, coconut milk has a lot of healthy calories that could be added to milkshakes/smoothies.

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S.F.

answers from Albany on

I have similar issues with my 2 year old, so I emphathize. a friend whose baby wasn't eating much took him to a nutritionist who told her to give the baby DHA and the results were very good! I tried it before with my son when he was a baby, but he spat it out. I am going to try again now that he's older. Your girl is 4 so maybe she could take the chewable form. Worth a try! Sometimes there's a neurological link to hunger and eating... so DHA would help with that. It's a very good "brain" fat.

otherwise, of course try peanut butter, avocados, hummus. And full fat yogurt.

My friend buys these vegetable and protein powders at Whole Foods, and I am going to try those. He says his son likes the berry flavor mixed with juice but you could also do another flavor with full-fat milk. Sorry, don't know brand name but if there is a whole foods nearby, ck it out. Would have less weird additives than Pediasure and maybe your daughter would like it better.

Those are some ideas. I'm also thinking of buying a juicer to make fresh juices for my kid, as he stopped eating most vegetables. I am wondering if I juice them if that would help. You coudl try that. Or you could make smoothies in blender with full fat yogurt, bananas, fruit....

Let us know what works!

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Add fat to all of her "healthy" choices. Whole wheat pasta with TONS of butter and cheese. Veggies with LOTS of dip. Bowls of ice cream for snack. Whole fat yogurt. A big thing of french fries for trying three bites of a new food.

If the issue right now is that she's underweight, get her weight up. As long as you're also offering healthy food, I wouldn't worry too much about the future. Tackle the issue at hand. Good luck.

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J.L.

answers from New York on

i would take her to a specialists- maybe a gastroenterologist?

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

stick with whole milk, not anything less on the fat content

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

You can still do chicken nuggets and french fries just make the chicken nuggets yourself and bake the fries. My pedi told us to put butter on everything and do pediasure...luckily my daughter loved pediasure. Does she like cheese? YOu could add that to some meals. Peanut butter, full fat mayo, whole milk, beans. Basically the things that adults are told to avoid to lose weight/ avoid obesity would work.

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A.F.

answers from New York on

Stoneyfield farms makes a full fat yogurt that is organic. i used to buy the big tub and mix in some strawberry applesauce. my kids loved it. to help make it fun to eat, i sometimes give them a straw and they can "drink" it. what about chocolate milk or milkshakes? good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi D.
This is such a tricky question, especially when young. I have an underweight daughter who is now 19. It has been tricky her entire life because her twin sister is obese. I don't know what the eating issue is with her but I can tell you that forcing children to eat can cause bigger problems.
As far as eating butter on veggies etc, I wish mine would have, I would have done it in a minute. Just use real butter not margarine or spread. Also make sure that you are using whole milk, not skim for her. I also found if I had frozen veggies in a dish mine thought of them as a snack and it was healthy for both girls. Another thing I learned was that dandelion increased her appetite. Now it has been a few years and I can't remember whether that was greens or roots. Ask at your local health food store. They are a good resource for whatever is going on. Don't dismiss it!
Mine did not like pediasure either, but for a while I could put instant breakfast in her milk and call it a shake, later I used the blender to mix it. It worked for a while, and worth a try. I also bought /buy bars at the health food store or Sam's ---Lava bars. They are expensive but have none of her allergens in them, so they work, and gave her some high calories. Nuts if she can do them work to.
Well, from my experience those are my ideas. Hope you get lots of ideas to try and don't give up. Our daughter was 57 pounds in 8th grade and admitted to the hospital, today she is finishing her second year at college and staying at 100 pounds, her body is healthy -- Lots to tell but ...
God bless you with His wisdom

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R.B.

answers from New York on

I can empathize with you. My daughter is one has had weight issues since she was 4 months old- she went from being 75% in weight to below 5th. She was sick often though and as they found out around then she also has food allergies so I had to cut dairy, eggs, and hazelnuts out of my diet. She sees a GI doctor- I would recommend that for your child. They usually have a whole support staff that can help you- a nutritionist, nurse practitioners, etc. My daughter has feeding issues- they think she is not interested in food bc she was always sick when she was young and always spitting up so she gets swallow therapy to try to introduce her to new foods. They also recommended "fat"- we had been adding a tablespoon of oil to all her food but she still was not putting on weight so instead now we use Duacal- which is powdered fat, and Microlipid- which is a fat emulsion- both are flavorless and when mixed colorless (except the microlipid is white) so she takes them well. Other people have had good suggestions about different foods to try. Shakes/ blended drinks are great. Also don't give her the low fat food- give her the whole milk and yogurt etc. I know with my daughter the doctors (ped and GI) have both said not to worry about the kind of food I give her but rather that she is gaining the weight- so maybe in your daughters case you can ask your dr whether you should worry about her feeding habits or just gaining weight (but you can make healthy chicken nuggets and baked fries). I know my twins who are turning four- had the best eating habits ever until they became three and then they just became picky- they cut out at least half the food they were eating and the OT (that we see for the baby) said to me never force food. So their good eating habits did not follow through. Luckily they still love fruit and will eat any kind of fruit so I try to load them up with fruit in between meals. Good luck- I know if can be very frustrating.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

Have you tried things like pediasure or instant breakfast with extra protein?

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

I have a very thin son. We would take a flax seed oil capsule and put a whole in it and squirt it in his mouth. that is the good fat and his brain really needed it. Also a good general vitamin, and extra zinc. Zinc is one of the main components of your taste buds. If she has little white dots or"bruises" on her finger nails that is a zinc deficiency. Also if she has been on alot of antibiotics the intestinal flora gets wiped out and needs to be rebuilt. We uses Dr. Natura junior probiotics with my son. Then he started to absorb things he was eating and put on weight. The zinc may help with things tasting better. Good Luck

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J.D.

answers from New York on

What if you made her smoothies in between meals? You can put fruit in them, but definitely use full fat yogurt, milk, frozen yogurt, etc. This is something I have never had to deal with, but was just a thought.

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M.F.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Use whole milk with Carnation instant breakfast. It tastes like chocolate milk. A home health nurse recommended it. She said it has the same nutritional value as the medical foods such as Pediasure, but tastes better.

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