How to Get My Baby to Stop Brestfeeding

A baby who is nursing that much at 1 is not going to be easy to wean, and honestly most babies who nurse alot at that age are going to want to nurse until at least 2. There is nothing wrong with this, and is actually quite normal for humans, but it's not what is promoted in our culture. If you are wanting to get some better sleep at night I would suggest trying to night wean. Elizabeth Pantley has a great book called The No-cry sleep solution that can guide you, but what I did was to start them in the crib, then when they woke to feed I would bring them to bed, but only let them feed a very short time ~5 min or so....then remove
From the breast. If baby fusses, nurse again, but this time, even shorter...continue on this way until they understand that they aren't going to get what they want (ie sleeping And nursing constantly). You have to stay awake and aware but it only takes a week or two. I kept a pen and scraps of paper by the bed to record progress so I could see it was working. Eventually, they just stop waking.
Don't let people bully you into forced weaning....it's not going to be a pleasant situation for either of you if you do this. She still wants/needs your milk and it is just as nutritious to her today as it was the day she was born. She will gradually wean as she becomes more and more interested in other foods and drinks. There is no reason to force her to stop.

At 1, it is ok for your baby to still breastfeed but waking up 3-4 times a night is not healthy for anyone. I am not a fan of co-sleeping because of your exact issue. If the baby sleeps with you, she can smell you and your milk and will wake up a lot wanting it. I reccomend you continue nursing but you need to get her into her own room. What I used to do is nurse my son before bed and then put him in the crib asleep. I know they say not to do that but he was not going to self soothe to sleep at that age and he is 3 1/2 now and does not nurse to go to sleep and has not done so for a long time! She needs a "lovie", something she can cuddle, mush, or chew on to soothe her when you are not around. Also, my son really benefited for an Ocean Wonders "aquarium" that attaches to the side of the crib and he could push it for soothing music and light. If she wakes up and cries for you, wait a few minutes. If it escalates then go in and nurse her back to sleep. Otherwise, let her cry or complain for a couple minutes because most of the time she will realize it't not worth it and go back to sleep. Just always make sure the crib is a safe and loving place, go to her if she is truly upset or sick, and don't worry about weanig her quite so soon. I would work on getting her out of your room and the decreased nursing will come naturally as a result.

Well, if you need to stop breastfeeding, offer her a bottle when she wakes up rather than the breast. Then if you think she doesn't need to be eating at night, gradually switch the pumped milk/formula to water in the bottles.

That said, if she sleeps with you she's going to smell you and will want to nurse so it might be a difficult transition.

Added - By the way, I would not use a bottle at all. Only a sippy cup, which she needs to be using by now anyway. If you use a bottle, you'll have to wean her from that, too.

Original:
Someone was writing in a week or so ago about how to nurse baby in the middle of the night, and whether or not to co-sleep. I told her that for all the people who advocate co-sleeping who write in on this site about it, as many women write in asking how to get the baby out of their beds. I shake my head when I see those posts, thinking "here we go again".

I agree with the posters who tell you that it will be hard to keep baby from nursing when she is laying beside you smelling your breastmilk. I would work on getting her in a crib in her room before night weaning. Try giving her some cereal to eat before bedtime to help fill her up, nurse her, and then put her down in the crib STILL AWAKE. Walk out of the room. Let her fuss some. Come back in and pat her stomach or back, and don't pick her up. If she stands up, sit down on the floor, put you hand through the slats and rub her leg. She will lay down to get close to you. Whisper "night-night" and walk out. Let her fuss longer, then repeat. NEVER pick her up. Increase the time between coming in (like 5 minutes, then 10, then 15, etc) until she is out.

Hopefully she will sleep going down for the night quickly. However, when she wakes for her nursing, don't take her to bed with you. Sit up and nurse her and then put her down awake again. Repeat the above. Never pick her up after nursing her.

Eventually when this starts working better and you have her used to the crib, start trying to draw out nursing. And up her food during the day.

As far as your sister is concerned, she is right that the baby needs to sleep longer at night. You ALL need to sleep longer at night. That doesn't mean you need to wean overall unless you really want to. I agree with the mom who said that you shouldn't feel pushed to wean if you still want to breastfeed. BUT... you shouldn't have to keep nursing her at night. She does not need the night feedings at all at this point. She just doesn't know how to stop waking up because she is used to it.

Another thing to do is to only feed her one breast at a time. Let her empty that breast. It gets that hind milk in her that holds her longer. I would especially do that before putting her down for the night after her cereal.

So... get her in the crib first. Get her used to the crib. Let her cry some - it's okay for her to cry to help her figure out that she has to self-soothe. Then start spacing out the night nursing longer and longer until you are down to one night nursing. Then you drop the nursing period.

That way you can still nurse during the daytime until you are ready to cut that out too.

Good luck - I hope you will do this so you all can get some sleep!

Dawn

good heavens, put that child in her OWN BED in her OWN ROOM!!! there is no reason a child her age should be waking up that much at night. Seems to me that you and your husband are keeping her up, she is probably woken up by your movements etc. Not sure how to give advice on how to wean her, but I would think the first step is to let go a bit and give her some independence. Let her have her own bed and her own room.

The 1 year old mark will come with a lot of separation anxiety, lack of confidence, TONS of milestones and simply learning more about herself... I think weaning her at a time where she will need your comfort and security MOST would be somewhat harmful to her psyche and stress levels.

If such a young child is ASKING or showing they need something - it's the real deal. They are not yet able to lie, manipulate or pretend anything yet.

I'm an advocate for extended breastfeeding (past 2 years old), child led weaning and bed-sharing/co-sleeping.

I agree with Andrea- a baby who still needs to nurse that much will be hurt by weaning suddenly. Night weaning is a good start, and nursing may be more tolerable if you're getting a good night's sleep! Dr. Jay Gordon is a great resource on cosleeping, and this is his article about how to night wean after the first year:

http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

I had this experience as well and here is what I did to stop breastfeeding.I did it gradually.

When my son was a year old , he started daycare. So he would breast feed in the morning, once in the evening and before bed.Since I wasn't around he was fine drinking whole milk while at daycare. I really didn't want him to stop breastfeeding(I really liked the bond we had) but him constantly waking up in the night (3-4 times) became a big issue. He used to be away from M. during the day, so I thought he was making up for that in the night. I would bring him to my bed the first time he woke up and then we would co-sleep rest of the night. This worked fine for a bit until he would want to nurse constantly. He wouldn't let M. go. That's when we decided not to bring him to our bed and let him sleep in his crib (it's in our room).

By this time I had stopped the evening feed(it was very easy.I would give him dinner at that time , he would be hungry so he would eat and then have whole milk) and asked dad to give him whole milk in sippy before bed. My son cried for M. initially when I handed him over to dad, said good night and walked out of the room, but it didn't take very long for him to smile and say good night to M.. He was used to his dad rocking him to sleep after I nursed him(we started this a week or two before I quit bed time feeding), so just the 'no M. milk' part was new to him. He was successfully weaned off from daytime and bedtime feedings.If he wanted milk he would ask for his sippy cup and not M..

But the night time feedings still continued, he just wouldn't sleep through the night. We knew it wont happen until I stopped breastfeeding but I somehow was not ready for that. My husband and I took turns waking up in the night until he was 19 months old. We were ok if he went back to sleep immediately but sometimes he would be wide wake and want to play in the middle of the night. One night earlier this month he did this at 3 AM in the morning. We rocked him for 2 hrs but he still wouldn't sleep.We just couldn't take it anymore. This had happened many times before and both of us would take turns playing with him and rocking him to sleep.But somehow that night both of us went to bed very late and we got very frustrated when he just wouldn't go back to sleep and I felt enough is enough and maybe it was time to try the one thing I really didn't want to try - let him cry it out. My husband always wanted to let him cry it out because we had tried everything else and nothing worked for us. So around 4:30 AM or so we let him cry , he sleeps in our room so he knew we were right there. We were talking to him saying good night, mom and dad are right here , you should sleep. He screamed so much ,he was very confused why we were not picking him up like we always did. Had I not been that tired and sleepy I wouldn't be able to stop myself from picking him up. At one point I almost gave up but my husband didn't let M.. And we felt that if we picked him up after letting him cry for that long, he will always cry until we give up and go pick him. He must have cried (actually screamed his lungs out) for 15-20 mins that day.He wasn't afraid because he knew we were right there, but he was screaming and pleading for us to pick him up.And then he slowed down. I was so tired I drifted off to sleep as soon as he stopped screaming and my husband told M. our son slept about 5 mins after I did.

The next day we stopped rocking him. He would lay down in his crib and ask us to pat him. He would wake up as soon as I stopped patting. I said good night and walked out. He cried and this time I went back after a minute and patted his back again , said good night and walked out. I think I did it one more time and then he slept. When he woke up in the middle of the night, my husband or I would go and pat his back.He would go back to sleep.

Within 2-3 days he started sleeping through the night. I pat his back and walk out and he cries for few seconds and then he sleeps. Even in middle of the night he can now drift off to sleep by himself.We don't have to get up and pat him anymore. He now doesn't expect us to pick him up or rock him. It's just been 2 weeks or so and he has been sleeping well for us. If he cries more than couple mins when I put him down, I always go and pat his back. It was just one night that I had tp let him cry to sleep. Maybe because he is 19 months old now, he got the hint immediately that he should sleep on his own. Mom and dad are not rocking him anymore. And once he started sleeping on his own , he never asked for breast milk.I nursed him couple times (for my sake more than him) but he never asked again, so I knew it was over. Earlier he wouldn't sleep until I nursed him but now he cries and goes back to sleep on his own. Even if he doesn't go back to sleep on his own, he expects us to pat him , that's it.

I had talked to his pediatrician about this last month and even she had told M. the same thing. She said the day you guys feel very frustrated and feel that it can't continue this way any longer let him cry until he sleeps. It will be difficult initially but as soon as he learns to turn around and sleep on his own, he will sleep through the night. She said that was the only option we had. So that's exactly what we did and it worked for us. Our pediatrician has nothing against co-sleeping or rocking. She always says do what works best for your family. But the moment you realize things are not working out and you are feeling like a bad parent as you are too stressed out, it's definitely time for a change.

I know lot of people are against letting kids crying it out. I thought it was a terrible idea too. I never thougt I will be recommending it one day. But for kids like ours who are so used to waking up in the night and nursing couple times in the night for a year or more , I don't know if anything else would work. I had tried everything else. If you cant let you baby cry it out, do what I did the second day - walk in say good night, pat his bak, walk out. Let him cry for a minute , walk in and repeat. I am sure your kid will take a little longer to figure out moms not giving milk anymore but she is still around and I should sleep, but I am sure he will get it. You need not put him a different room for this, he can sleep in his crib in your room.

Hope this helps!