How to Declutter

Hi Page, I am at the opposite end of the spectrum, I throw or give almost everything away, but have not always been this way. (my husband saves EVERYTHING so we balance each other out sort of) What I found worked great when overwhelmed with too much clutter was to put EVERYTHING in boxes and put it aside and then go through them one box a day, putting away what you need, taking to charity THAT DAY what you don't, throwing away trash. The boxes give you a limit on how much, and it doesn't seem as overwhelming when you look at it, you cannot see what is in the box, so make them reasonable sized boxes. The key is to get rid of what you don't need that day, don't keep it until it all adds up for one trip, or you have yet ANOTHER pile of stuff laying around. Good luck, as clutter is a very hard thing to overcome with kids and the demands of the world.

hello,
My friend and tenant is excellent at helping with de-cluttering. She listens,has great suggestions of what to do with stuff that is hard to just let go of(eg she suggested that i make a collage of stuff from my business(stationary,bus cards,etc ....I had a really coool logo).She has been helping me go thru old stuff from my business of 20 years and boxes from my parents,stuff i just couldn't do on my own because of the emotional content. She is also very good at simplifying rooms in a beautiful and functional way. I highly recommend her.P..Ps I forgot her contact info. Lisa Breschi Almond ###-###-####

Hi Page, Yes, decluttering is a big problem for me also, the piles are mostly kid related, and my 3 are adults out of the house. I tell myself 'maybe my grandkids can use that later" as an excuse. but now I am getting to the point where the piles are starting to be an eyesore for me, so I doing a gradual declutter, a few things at a time every few days. I also am in the process of cleaning out my deceased parents home they lived in for 60 years, my mom was definitly a packrat, she saved everything, and all rooms in the house are full of piles and clutter, so I am doing the same thing with the help of my children, at that house. The bottom line is, if you don't start now with decluttering, someday someone is going to have to do it for you, and they just might toss it all. Hope this suggestion helps some. Sincerely, CJ

Hi page!

Some piles huh? :) First, figure out what about the piles bother you. Is it their content? Their size? Their owner? Knowing why you feel the way you do is half the battle!

Next, get three bins. One is Trash. One is stuff you absolutely have to keep, and one is stuff you aren't sure about.

After you've sorted through the piles, immediately throw out the items in the trash bin. That way you don't second guess yourself or have others rescue things.

Now you go back to the "maybe" box. Ask yourself these three questions:

Is it a necessary item?
Is it a sentimental item?
Is it an item i will use within the next month?

Answer yes to any of these and it's a keeper. Answer no, and it's trash.

I get those piles occaisionally and this is the only way I can go through them successfully! Good luck!

Here are some retention guidlines that may also help:

Document-Retention Guidelines
The rules for record retention vary depending on whom you consult. If you have the space, it's better to err on the side of caution.
Auto Records
While Active
Keep these for as long as you own the vehicle. Hold on to sales-transaction data for six years after the car is sold or traded.
Insurance Policies
While Active
After you receive the updated policy, shred the old one.
Warranties and Contracts
While Active
Toss them as soon as they expire.
Paid Bills
While Active
After you receive a canceled check or a credit or bank statement, most bills and receipts can be shredded. For insured purchases, keep paperwork as long as you own the item.
Paycheck Stubs
One Year
Hold on to these until you've checked that the W-2 from your employer is correct.
Quarterly Investment Records
One Year
After you confirm that your annual statement accurately reflects your quarterlies, shred the latter.
Credit Card and Bank Statements
Seven Years
These can serve as proof if you file an insurance claim and as backup for tax documentation.
Receipts and Documentation for Tax-Deductible Purchases
Indefinitely
The Internal Revenue Service can go back at least three years if good-faith errors are suspected, and indefinitely if it believes you have underreported your income by more than 25 percent.
Tax Returns
Indefinitely
These are useful references for checking income or medical claims from a particular year.
House-Related Records
Indefinitely
Save documents pertaining to closings, deeds, assessments, and home-improvement expenses.
Most IRA Contributions
Indefinitely
Keep these in case you need to prove that you already paid taxes on this income.
Annual Investment Statements
Indefinitely
Retain these until you sell the securities. Keep the record of that transaction indefinitely.
Going Paperless
One way to minimize clutter is to eliminate paperwork.

I so hear you! First, though, if you have a clinical issue with hoarding and cluttering (e.g., constantly buying things to have more trinkets just in case you ever need them, making sure you have enough canned food to feed the whole street in case of an earthquake, etc.), therapy and meds can help. If, like me, you just live in more of a mess than you want to, read on. When I try to clean the bedroom/closet/office, I get overwhelmed and sometimes start feeling dizzy and/or flushed. I'm fine w/ the rest of the house; I just have issues with spaces I perceive as more "mine." For me, the emotions seem to come from two places: (1) no matter how well I did in school, how good a kid I was, etc., my parents would get all over me for my messy room (yet never tried to help me develop tools for dealing with the mess) and (2) I end up reading through half the clutter because it brings back nice memories. It takes me forever to get through a pile! The only things that have helped me are hiring a professional organizer and having a hyper-organized friend act like a drill sergeant. Both made me do the same thing -- take everything out of the space (room, closet, desk, etc.), put it all in one pile, and then go through the pile item by item (quickly -- gut feel only) and create the following new piles: keep in the same room, keep but belongs somewhere else in the house, throw, recycle, and give away. Something that really helped me keep my closets organized after the professional organizer worked with me was having appropriate (clear and easily accessible) containers for different items. Then label them! And label the area of the shelf where the container belongs. My linen closet literally had a label that said "toilet paper." I had a drawer in a small plastic unit (inside the same closet) that said "boo-boos and blisters." Whatever makes sense to you. Having containers that work for me and then labeling everything made a huge difference for me. I can't use folders like other people do -- I've tried, but I it's too nit-picky for me. I use expandable folders for projects so that I don't have to sort at such a detailed level. I can still find things, and even though it's not as "organized" as having a file for each aspect of a project, it's a heck of a lot better than having my desk piled a foot high in papers! Also, whether it's a professional organizer or a friend, have someone there who will help out, cheer you on, and keep you on task. Take a five-minute break if you need to, but then get back to it! Also, you might want to ask yourself if you really need to know why these particular piles are so emotionally charged. If the answer is not really, than having someone else there to keep you on track (doing the behaviors despite the emotions) should work. If you feel that you do need to know, there are counselors out there who specialize in treating hoarding and cluttering behaviors. The issue is more common than you might think, so please don't feel ashamed if you need some help.
K.

Wow, I didnt even realize that this could be an issue or even what to call it, but I have the same piles in my house and even boxes from moving a year ago that I havent unpacked... You should see my desk.. oh my gosh , I do clean it about every 6 months, usually when I need to find someting, but I get the same anxiety just thinking about cleaning it.. I cant put my finger on it.. I just thought maybe I was lazy, but it is overwhelming to me, to think where am I going to put this stuff or I hate having to make new file lables for my filing cabinet.. it stress's me out just thinking about it and even more the longer I wait... I am pretty clean otherwise..
I dont really have advice for you cuz i feel the same, but I just want you to know you are NOT alone!
Maybe we could go to eachothers house and help take charge.. May be if we had some help and support, incase we run into something that affects us emothionally..
just kidding, well not really..
Anyway take care..
Good luck.
A. P
mother or 2 boys, 1 YEAR OLD today!!! and a 4 yr old.

I'm a clutterer, AKA hoarder. Regardless of why we do it, I think it's really hard to attack the problem areas without help. It can be too overwhelming to contemplate the job. I suggest getting a trusted, supportive, friend to do it with you--maybe give her lunch as part of the deal. Just turn on some music & dive in--it won't be as bad as the dread.

If you like, there are some resources I'd recommend: Organizing from the Inside Out (book dealing with the underlying causes as well as strategies) & Clutterers Anonymous (12 step program--clutterersanonymous.net).

Good luck!

I have the same issues and have only dealt with some of it by allowing family members to intervene by boxing it all up. However, I still have to deal with the boxes at some point, which are now in my garage. LOL!

Maybe you could hire a professional to help you with those areas. He/she may be able to help you sort through the feelings as well as the "stuff".

Another idea is to trade with a friend. Have your friend come over and help you with your problem areas and then go to your friend's home and help her with hers. Or choose a friend who is a neat freak.

The main thing is to get some perspective on your "stuff". A professional or a friend may look at something and ask, "why are you keeping this? Does it bring you joy?" If like me, you are too embarassed to go through your things item by item with a stranger or a friend, then set tiny goals and do it a little at a time (10-15 minutes) asking yourself those questions. I got this advice from the Fly Lady website, which helped me for a while before I got too busy with a new baby and a new job. Check it out! I need to get back to it myself. LOL!

Hello Page,

Wow, my husband had me believing I was the only one with clutter issues. Most of my friends have the tidiest of homes. I also create relationships with stuff and have the hardest time getting rid of anything. I personally keep things because we lived on a tight budget as a kid and you never knew when you might need "it".

That being said, I still have an emotional time letting loose. I have bins and boxes of stuff I have never looked at again. (My husband throws things away periodically w/o my knowledge until I go looking for the bin with the contents.) My advice if you decide to box things is to label what is inside and then put an index in the computer. I have gone back to certain logs and gave my husband permission to throw the whole box out. (Usually, boxes of old magazines!) But I can't go through it, otherwise, the attachment is there.

Another thing I have been doing is asking myself, who am I keeping it for: Me, my kids, friends, etc. Then I really ask myself if it is kept for others. If they may want it, give it to them, if not; give it away to good will.

I wish I could offer more help, but alas I am in the same boat. I have keepsake children clothing, crib items, a shelf for vases and several for linens, a huge box for wrapping items, another box for cards. I also have stored boxes of magazines. I am one of the worst pack rats! I wish you all the best in your de-clutter woes.

Sincerely,
Victoria

There is a great book called Simplify your Life. I forget the author, but it's great for helping you to declutter your life and get back on track. It's a white cover with pastel writing. Very serene looking. Then again if you're not much of a book person it would simply become more clutter, right?

Hi Page,

I totally understand your anxiety! What I do is about every couple of months, I go through my things that have been sitting there and get rid of at least 10 items. Anything I haven't used in 6mos or so--- I just decide to give away whatever I am not using-- it feels good to give it to charity and it helps me declutter.Also for things you have a really hard time with, I put them in a pile and think about it for 24 hours. If I still feel strongly attached to it, I keep it but if not-- I put it in the give away pile. Maybe if you change your perception and just tackle a little at a time- it will be less overwhelming.

Good luck!

Molly

I agree that FlyLady is great!! The best idea I took from there is to work on whatever your huge project is for 15 minutes at a time. When you timer goes off, go off and do something else for 15 minutes (put your feet up, watch a little TV), then go back to the project for another 15 minutes.

The other thing to keep in mind when looking at each object is: will I REALISTICALLY ever use/need this again? If you truly have a question, put those things in a box and put the box away. In six months, if you haven't gone into the box to find any of those things, toss the box.

Also, when keeping things for sentimental reasons, I now ask myself "If it means SO much to me, why is it in this pile of junk?" If I can't display it/frame it, etc. then it goes.

These methods have been extremely helpful in clearing stuff out of my house that was keeping me from enjoying my life.

Good luck!

I totally feel the same way and should be taking some of my own advice right now...
Set aside days and tackle one pile at a time. On the day you have set aside, don't make excuses or get distracted - tackle that pile! I suggest having a family member watch your kids - the biggest distraction! Just sit down and dig in. Once you do - you'll realize it is not that overwhelming. Treat yourself to something afterwards so you have something to look forward to.
GOOD LUCK!
A.

Hi Page, I have this feeling as well. What helped me is to get a professional organizer (a person that comes over and helps you organize your stuff). I used her last spring, but didn't do anything over the summer, and now I am going to start again. You can look online at different people in your town. The first person that I used was great, but she only worked at nights and weekends, which became increasingly difficult for me because of my family. The one that I am going to start using will come during the day, when my husband and daughter are not at home, which will make it much easier.

Here is the website that I used:
www.napo.net/Referral/

good luck!

I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this.. But there is a website that is wonderful in teaching how to declutter and keep your home from taking over...
www.flylady.net
It is awesome. She teaches to work in 15 minute segments, look at the stuff you want to declutter and ask yourself if it talks to you (what do you think of when you look at this item), if you love it etc...
Good luck

Dear Page,
All I want to say is that clutter sucks.
I hate it. And, it causes anxiety in and of itself. At least for me.
I broke my leg and have not been able to walk most of the time, let alone drive. I had a system down and that all went right out the window.
I was always the most picky and organized person. Now, I feel like I've swung too far the other way. It can really make you feel out of control.
I have had so many people pass away and stuff given to me and tidbits...those things can't be gotten rid of.
I think there might be a difference between clutter and organization. After my divorce, I tried to cram all my stuff into a house that was way smaller. It's not realistic.
I can't even drive right now so I feel crappy about it every day.
Some days I tell myself, you can only do what you can do.
I do know that once things really pile up, it can be overwhelming. And then you don't even know where to start.
Just hang in there and tackle one thing at a time.
Best wishes!

Just promise yourself a small box a day, max 4 boxes a week.
That way it becomes manageable, and if you don't get to it one day, it's not abig deal/disappointment.

Maybe if you tell yourself that you DON'T HAVE TO get rid of them, just sort them. You may find some of the things aren't as important to you now as they used to be. Give yourself permission to keep whatever you want to keep, just be able to file it or store it somewhere safe. Good luck, believe me, I know it can be hard.

Wow Page, we are not alone.
I am totally a clutter person and I hate it. I am ashamed of it and I really want to change. I found a site on Martha Stewarts site that talks about our emotional attachment and block of clutter.
http://www.marthastewart.com/article/clear-your-clutter?l...

It is more than emotional, for some, like me, it is a sign of our insecurities about success or something like that.
I am going to do more reading on this subject. If I find anything worth while I will look you up and email you the books.

This is the next phase in my life I want to accomplish.
Also IGNORE the neat freaks and the people who just throw things away. They have no idea what or how we function.
My clutter makes perfect sense to me, I know where things are and just because someone else can't see the wood on the desk doesn't mean I am unorganized. :)
So ignore those posts. It is not as simple as just go thru it once a day...

I agree with Melanie N., FlyLady.net is the best. She has practical ways to declutter for the real world. I tried other systems but none of them worked for me because they take too much time. I'm the mother of a beautiful 11 month old little girl which takes a lot of time, plus I work outside the home. Flylady gives you "missions" you can do in just 15 minutes. And the best message (at least for me) that she says is, "Your home didn't get cluttered in a day, it will take more than a day to unclutter it."

I'd say if you have a trusted friend, go with that method. Works for me every time.

I have the same issue, and have found that the real fear is one of a bad memory. To combat it, as I'm decluttering, three lists are made: What I tossed, what I donated, and what I put away & where. Then if something is lost, I can look at the lists & see what happened to it. This has helped a lot.
In addition, I still have a box of NOPFATs (No Official Place For All These). These are the "Keep" items that I haven't found a place for yet. So if the lists fail, I look in the NOPFAT box. Occasionally I empty that box, but it helps to have a friend in that operation - a pair of outside eyes helps make decisions easier!
Good luck & good work.
Remember, the purpose of organization is to be able to put things away with confidence, and to be able to find things with ease.

Let's see.. you want to know how to declutter or just make room for your "fresh" stuff? that is a whole different question- What is so emotional about it, I had to get rid of my dad's things when he passed on 2 yrs ago.. and with the help of my kids- they sat there and wanted his hats/wallet/shirts for pj's and that was that- other boxes, looked them over and wha-la donation or give to his family, like his brother who always complained about clothes... Makes it easy when someone is there to assist or rush, rush about things to get rid of just so that you can see your floor. Thank God for my attic!!! A lot of my stuff from my little 2 bdrms/1bath home went up there when I get my huge 3 bdrm/2bath house!! That saved me a lot of staring at the "junk that can wait" pile!!! Good luck and no missy, you are not alone. We all have ghosts in our closets and things we can't manage to get rid of.. but you will once you get tired of looking at it.

Hi Page,

I was always "ready" to declutter and just had a hard time getting starting. I finally started with some simple steps that are recommended at www.flylady.com. Many of her "Baby Steps" I was already doing but it put me on a track to develop and keep up good habits on a regular basis. Then I did some "big clean" days in my daughter's room and office.

Overall developing a habit of completion in all areas of my life has been my goal. I've been a homeschooling Mom, running my own business, and it was easy for some things to just slip away and not get finished. Decluttering has made a tremendous impact!

Just start with a few simple "baby steps." You didn't end up with you piles overnight, just take one small area, or set a timer and work for a specific amount of time tackling one thing.

You'll be flying in no time!

Hi,

You sound just like me. If you find an answer please share it with me.

Thanks!
N.

Flylady.net

This is a GREAT website to help you feel better about your home and yourself. Like a lot of moms suggested, work in small amounts. This website shows you how to start and maintain a tidy home and it's free. :)

Good luck--I know how you feel--my husband would be happy living in a loft with nothing on any shelves I, however, create relationships with stuff. Drives him nuts. :)

M.

yup gotta reccomend Flylady.net You mentioned your items are emotionally charged...do they bring up good feelings? If the answer is no then they have served their purpose and it is time to let them go. Don't let "things" suck up your positive energy. You might want to read about Feng Shui if you're interested in the flow of energy and how it can affect you and your space. :)

I have a daughter who is a great help with clutter clearing. (and I've helped her clear stuff from her house on occasion too). Perhaps you have someone in your life that you would trust to come in one day for a 'clear the clutter' morning or afternoon. Sometimes just having that person who isn't emotionally tied to the 'stuff' that will gently help you realize what's important and what's not can at least get you started.

Go to Flylady.net. She is wonderful. She can send you emails (I don't read them all but they are very helpful) and put you on a routine (along with your kids) She has a couple of books too. Check her out!

I'm having the same problem with a lot of piles. I'm home more now and hate living with the piles anymore. I'm getting three empty boxes and lableing them trash, shredding, and treasures to keep or go through again. It is surprising what we keep, but even the junk mail that we keep takes up space. Just take one box at a time and good luck.

PS. I hope you find a lot of treasures.

D.

When things get overwhelming for me I start with one piece at a time and work for as long as I can handle it then go on to something else and tell my self I will go back in fifteen minutes and do a little more , Once I get started I and keep telling myself I can do this I get it done by deciding if and what I am going to keep and have a place in mind to put it away and I place a garbage bag or can by me to through out any I have not needed or used in the last six months to a year. You can do it just keep telling your self that you will feel really good once you are done. Good Luck!